Читать книгу Brides, Babies And Billionaires - Мишель Смарт, Rebecca Winters - Страница 40

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

BLAKE WAS SURE he would burn a trail in the carpet if he didn’t stop pacing.

But he felt unsettled and couldn’t stop. Not when some of his employees passed him, smiling politely to hide their curiosity, or even when guests did, aiming puzzled looks at him as he walked back and forth in front of one of the rooms. He wasn’t sure if it was adrenaline for what was to come during the evening that fuelled his legs, or anticipation at seeing Callie when she finally emerged from the room she was using to get ready in.

He hadn’t seen her when she’d got back, so he didn’t know what she had thought about the limo he had sent to pick her up. It might have been overkill, but he wanted her to feel like a princess tonight. He wanted her to know that the effort she had put into the hotel hadn’t been for nothing. He wanted her to know that what they’d shared together meant something to him. Especially when he wouldn’t be able to tell her himself...

He paused. He didn’t want to think about those plans. He didn’t want to think about the way he had put distance between them, about Callie’s face every time he’d done so. He didn’t want to think about leaving her when it was all too painful. When he was doing it because he couldn’t bear to lose her, to disappoint her. He just wanted to spend one night with her without worrying about what it would do to them when he left. Or, worse, what it would do to her if he stayed and couldn’t give her what she wanted.

But he wasn’t running, he assured himself. He was just saving them both from the potential hurt.

But all thoughts froze in his head when she opened the door and hesitantly took two steps towards him.

The neckline of her gown lay lazily over her chest, hugging her curves and accelerating his heart. Especially when he saw a diamond necklace sparkling just above her breasts, as though it wanted to distract him and draw his attention to them at the same time. The rest of the dress was just as flattering, clinging to her curves and revealing legs that Blake now realised he had vastly under-appreciated. She wore silver shoes that wrapped around her legs from just below her knee, and never before had he found a pair of shoes more attractive.

Finally, when his body had settled, he rested his eyes on her face. Her hair was like silk, tied into some kind of intricate knot at the base of her skull. And her face was glowing, slightly red at his appraisal, and absolutely gorgeous.

‘Hi...’ she said huskily, and Blake had to check himself before he could speak.

‘Hi. You look amazing.’

She smiled hesitantly, closed the door behind her, and Blake had the pleasure of seeing how much skin the back of the dress revealed. He wasn’t sure which side of it he appreciated more, he thought, and smiled when she turned back to him. Just one night, he promised himself—and his conscience—and offered his arm.

‘Thank you,’ she said as she straightened the tiny train of the dress behind her.

When they got to the elevator he looked at her in question.

‘It would probably be best if we took the elevator today,’ she said, without moving.

He squeezed her hand. ‘Don’t worry, the electricity won’t go off tonight. And if it does I’ve made sure the generator is working, so we won’t get stuck.’

‘Famous last words...’ she breathed, and then straightened her shoulders and walked into the small box.

He smiled at her bravado, and selected the button for the rooftop. He knew she held her breath as they steadily moved up, and when the doors pinged open she let out a huge sigh of relief.

‘You ready?’ she asked, and turned to him, the tension of a few moments ago only slightly abated.

He refused to think about what the remainder of that tension meant.

‘I think so.’

‘Then let’s do this.’

* * *

‘Dance with me.’

Callie turned to Blake and had her refusal ready when she saw he had the same look on his face as that afternoon when he’d kissed her.

But he didn’t wait for an answer. Instead he took her glass and placed it with his own on the closest waiter’s tray. Then he led her to the dance floor and pulled her in close. Every nerve in her body was awakened and prickled with awareness at the feel of him against her. His hand pressed against her naked lower back and sent shivers down her spine, and when she looked up at him her breath caught.

He looked at her with longing, with a sadness she hadn’t expected. But she didn’t want to think about it. She didn’t want to think about all that had plagued them over the last few days. No, tonight she wanted to stand in the middle of the dance floor on the rooftop, under the moonlight, and sway to the music with the man she loved.

‘Callie?’

She lifted her head and the illusion of a few moments ago was gone. And it had taken any thoughts she had about love with it.

‘What is it?’

He looked at her, his eyes filled with an emotion she knew only too well.

‘We need to talk.’

She clenched her jaw as a voice in her head told her that she wasn’t being paranoid. She stiffened in his arms and looked at him, trying to read him even though it pained her to do so. And what she saw gave her the answer to all the questions she’d had.

‘You’re leaving.’

His arms tightened around her, and she had to stop herself from pulling away from him.

‘Callie—’

‘Don’t.’ She didn’t look at him, and was grateful when the song ended. ‘Just don’t.’

She wanted to hate him for it—for doing this to her after making her feel like a princess. After making her fall in love with him. But she forced all feelings aside and worked the room, pretending everything was normal.

She clapped along with everybody else when Blake walked up onto the stage to thank everyone for coming, and laughed jovially when he told them he looked forward to taking their money the following week. But when the formalities were done she couldn’t take it any more. She slipped away to Connor, and asked him if he could wrap things up for her.

‘Yeah, sure. Things shouldn’t go on too long anyway.’ He looked at her, and then frowned. ‘Are you okay?’

‘I’m fine.’ She brushed a kiss over his cheek. ‘Thanks. I’ve spoken to all the investors, so I know they’re happy with the event. You just need to facilitate the clean-up afterwards. I’ll see you soon, okay?’

She didn’t wait for his response, though she could tell that his gaze was on her as she walked away from the event. She didn’t look back as she took the stairs in her evening gown, too distressed to take a chance on the elevator. They had pulled it off, she thought, and immediately felt grief at the use of ‘they’ for her and Blake. There would be no more of that, she knew.

She laid a hand on the railing of the staircase, bracing herself for support, and took a moment—just one—to close her eyes and soothe her aching heart. But she knew that soothing wouldn’t be possible—not when her pain could only be compared to what she’d felt after her parents had died. But still she stood, rubbing a hand over her chest, as though doing that would make a difference somehow.

The look on Blake’s face flashed through her eyes—the look that had told her all she needed to know about the awkwardness between them over the last few days—and another wave of grief rushed through her.

But instead of giving herself another moment, she hurried back to the room she had got ready in to change and get her things. Before she changed she looked in the mirror for one last time, wondering who the woman who looked back at her was. That woman looked so glamorous she might be royalty—nothing like the broken woman Callie knew really stood there. The one who was using every last bit of her strength to keep standing, not to fall into a heap on the floor and cry until she couldn’t think about him any more.

Until she couldn’t feel the pain that sliced through her at every memory of him.

She carefully took off the necklace and the shoes, placing them back into their boxes, and peeled the dress from her skin. When she was done she laid the dress bag over her arm and took the boxes in one hand, her own things in the other. She struggled out through the door and smiled her thanks when Tom, one of the bellboys, offered to help her.

She’d just handed over her things and asked him to call her a taxi when she heard Blake’s voice.

‘Callie—wait. Callie!’ he said, more loudly when she didn’t stop. ‘I’ve been looking for you all over. We need to talk.’

She gestured for Tom to go ahead, and stiffened her spine when she saw Blake walking towards her even as the pain crushed through her chest.

‘I’m on my way home. I was going to put this in your office with a note for Caroline. Actually, I think I’ll do that now.’

She walked past him to his office, silently thanking Kate for getting her a room on the ground floor, so that she didn’t have to get into an elevator again. She opened the door and laid the things gently over the desk Connor had put up for Blake, and turned when she heard the door slam.

‘Let me explain,’ he said, tension in every part of his body.

‘Explain what?’

‘Why I’m leaving.’

‘So you are leaving.’ She nodded as her heart broke, but coated it with anger. ‘I thought you were just going to let me assume something was wrong, like you’ve been doing for the last few days.’

‘I’m sorry. But—’

‘I don’t want to hear it, Blake.’

‘Callie, I think the least you can do is let me explain myself.’

His tone was testy now, and she felt anger clutch at her.

‘Why, Blake? Why should I let you explain yourself? You’ve been pushing me away for days. You’ve lied to me. And now you’re leaving. So give me one reason why I shouldn’t walk out of here right now and forget about whatever we had?’

‘Because we care about each other. At least I care about you.’ His hands were on his hips; his face was fierce. ‘I care enough that I’m leaving because it’s what’s best for you.’

‘What’s best for me?’ she repeated, almost shocked at his audacity. ‘You’ve decided what’s best for me based on what?’

‘Based on the fact that I know you,’ he said angrily. ‘You need someone who can be a father to your children. I can’t do that.’

Pieces began to fall into place somewhere at the back of her head, but she didn’t take the time to see it. ‘Of course you can’t. Not when you’re so stuck in your own world that you don’t really care about how I feel.’

‘Excuse me?’

Although she heard the warning in his voice, she couldn’t stop now. ‘I can’t actually believe that I thought you might tell me what was going on in your head. I made excuses for you. I went against my gut.’

Tears pricked at her eyes, and for once she didn’t care.

‘That night you took me home from your house—the night you lied to me—I told myself that you needed time, and that I needed to be patient. But I waited and waited and waited. And all I got was distance, a day of pampering—because you needed to distract me from the fact that you were leaving, right? And from a decision made for my best interests. All because of what?’

She wiped at the tears that came when she realised that he had been saying goodbye to her from the day he’d dropped her at home. Today had just been the finale.

‘Because you couldn’t have a conversation with me about having a family?’

The shame she saw in his eyes confirmed her words.

‘You have no idea what it’s like to care about someone and realise that you can’t give them what they want,’ he said.

‘You have no idea what it feels like to have someone you love decide they don’t want to give you what you want,’ she snapped back at him, and then stopped when the words fell between them like the blade on a guillotine.

‘You love me?’

‘I’ll get over it—don’t worry.’

It felt like a weakness, now—a mistake. Loving him. One she would rather have kept to herself. But she hadn’t, and now she had to keep herself from falling for that expression on his face. It made her want to beg him to stay, to face his fears, to let himself love her.

To let her love be enough for him—for them.

But then she saw the sadness behind his surprise at her declaration—the sadness that told her he wouldn’t let go of whatever was keeping them apart—and she felt devastation rip through her. With tears still threatening, she walked to the door, and then she paused, the fire inside her burning just enough for her to turn back to him.

‘You could’ve missed it, because I made the mistake of saying I love you, so I’m going to say it again. You think that you’re leaving because you can’t give me what I want. But what I want is exactly what you want—a family. So don’t use me as an excuse, Blake. The real problem here is you.’

‘Callie...I’m trying. I mean, I’ve tried it before, and I failed miserably at being a father.’ He said the words through clenched teeth. ‘I’d rather walk away than have you witness me failing at it again.’

She choked back the sob that threatened, and felt completely helpless as she said, ‘Well, then, luckily for both of us I’m used to the people I love leaving me.’

And with those words she walked out through the door, slamming it shut on him and on their relationship.

And breaking whatever had been left of her heart.