Читать книгу Mills & Boon Christmas Delights Collection - Джанис Мейнард, Rebecca Winters - Страница 22

Chapter Thirteen

‘It’s all right.’ Mark squeezed my shoulders as I did my best not to cry in front of him. ‘He’s going to be just fine, I promise.’

I nodded. ‘Yep, I know. I was just…so sure.’

‘I know. Now, go on before he leaves without you.’

‘That’s not beyond the realms of possibility, so I better had.’

‘See you next week.’

I gave him a quick hug and did a fast walk to the car park, where the pickup’s engine was now running. Pulling open the door, I jumped in and grabbed the seat belt, quickly plugging it in.

‘Sorry. Had a couple of things to do.’

‘No problem.’ Michael put a hand on the gearstick and then shifted a little in his seat. ‘You OK?’

‘Mmmhmm.’ I nodded, pasting a smile on. ‘It’s nice and warm in here.’

Michael’s hand curved around the gearstick, then uncurled again. I looked up at him.

‘He’ll be OK, you know.’

‘Huh? Oh yes! I know! Of course I know!’ I made light of it. ‘It was just a suggestion anyway. And it was nice to get out of the city and have a walk anyway, wasn’t it?’

‘It was. And thanks for lunch.’

‘I didn’t pay.’

‘You kind of did, in a way.’

I brushed my jeans, the stains obvious. It was a hell of a good job I wasn’t trying to impress Michael O’Farrell because between the serving disaster, stained jeans, frozen nose and what I was pretty sure now were at least marginally puffy eyes, I would most definitely have failed.

‘Worse things happen at sea and all that.’

‘That is true.’ Selecting reverse, he backed the truck out of the car park and headed back in the direction of London.

We’d only been going about five minutes when Michael started smiling. Obviously I was way more upset about leaving the dog behind than he was. But remembering that I was supposed to not be taking this to heart, I went along with it.

‘What are you smiling at?’ I asked.

‘You.’

Now I frowned, suspicious. ‘Me? Why?’

‘You’re making me hungry.’

‘What?’ I squeaked, scooching around in my seat to face him. My reply seemed to amuse him even more.

‘Calm down. It’s your jeans. The warmth from the car is bringing out the food smell in your clothing again. You smell edible.’

‘Ha ha.’

We drove for a few more minutes in silence before Michael spoke.

‘Katie look, I really appreciate what you – ’

My phone started ringing, cutting him off. ‘I’m sorry,’ I said, fishing it out of my jacket. I checked the screen: Calum.

‘Hi!’

‘Hi babe. I’m so sorry I haven’t called. Work’s been so crazy.’

‘That’s OK. I’ve been pretty busy here too anyway. Are you back?’

‘I am. I wondered if you wanted to get together? I thought as I’ve been so crap lately I’d splash out on a nice room somewhere.’

‘Are the builders still working on your house?’

‘Yeah. They’ve only gone and put down the wrong flooring whilst I was away. Can you believe it? So it’s going to be even longer now before I get rid of them.’

‘I don’t mind the mess, really.’

‘No, I know. But I don’t want you to see it all like this. I want to show it to you all perfect and finished. Hopefully it won’t be too much longer.’

‘OK. But you don’t need to get a room. You can just come to my flat.’

‘Too late. It’s all booked. And dinner. Can you meet me at the restaurant at seven? I’d come and pick you up but this way is much easier.’

For you.

‘When?’

‘Tomorrow, of course!’ he laughed.

‘Oh. I wasn’t sure when you were back exactly. I have an appointment. I’ll have to see what I can do.’

‘But it’s all booked, babe.’

‘I know Calum. I’m sorry. I will try but I can’t arrange things around you if I don’t know when you’re going to be here.’

‘We’re not going to go over that again, are we? You know I’m swamped with work.’

‘No,’ I said, quietly, acutely aware that in the confines of the pickup’s cab, Michael could likely hear every word. ‘I’m just saying…look. I’ll sort something out, OK? Which restaurant is it?’

‘Marco’s.’

‘OK. I’ll meet you there at seven tomorrow.’

‘I’ll make it up to you.’ His voice dropped, ‘I promise.’ I heard something in the background. ‘OK. Got to go. Looking forward to it, babe.’

‘Yes. I –’ But he was already gone.

Michael drove on and although neither of us said a word, I had a feeling we were both thinking a similar thing: The appointment I’d mentioned to Calum was with Michael and scheduled from three until seven. I calculated how long it would take me to get home, change, then get to the restaurant. Way too long. I could squash a dress in my bag, change in the loo at the station and then…I was still going to be late but…

‘We can reschedule tomorrow, if you like.’

I turned my head.

Michael shrugged, his gaze flicking to me briefly. ‘Sorry. Kind of hard not to hear.’

I shook my head. ‘No. It’s fine. And no, I’m not cancelling on you. Absolutely not. He has to realise that I’m not at his beck and call.’

‘Right.’ ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘What? All I said was “right”.’

‘It was the way you said it.’

‘Jesus,’ he sighed. ‘Look, just finish a bit earlier with me. You can change at my place and then still get to the restaurant in time to meet him.’

I looked out of the window, but the darkness now fallen meant I saw little but my own face reflecting back at me.

‘At least he didn’t just turn up tonight and see me looking like this.’

Michael pulled up at a red light and looked over, his brow furrowed. ‘Like what?’

I waved my hands over my face and clothing. ‘This.’

‘You look perfectly…fine.’ The light changed and he found first gear a little more forcefully than he had on previous times. ‘If he can’t see that then the man’s an idiot. Oh, that’s right. He is.’

I threw my hands up. ‘How can you say that? You don’t even know him!’

‘I know all I need to know. He calls and you jump. And apparently expects you to be perfectly dressed and fully made-up whenever he does.’

‘It’s not like that,’ I replied, although there was less conviction in my voice than I had intended.

‘Right,’ he said again.

From the corner of my eye I saw the streetlights flash across us, briefly illuminating Michael’s face with each pass. His jaw was tight and his hands gripped the wheel more intently than they had on the way down. He rolled his neck and, as if sensing my thoughts, flexed his long fingers from the wheel. It was clear neither one of us was going to break the silence, so I rested my head on the window and stared out past my reflection, into the darkness beyond.

‘I’m sorry to have wasted your time today,’ I said, as Michael pulled up outside my flat. ‘I got a little carried away.’

‘You didn’t waste my time. It was good to get out.’ He stopped the engine.

I nodded and gave a tight smile. ‘Right then. I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight.’

‘Katie wait.’ Michael’s hand caught my arm as I reached for the door catch. He ran the other hand over his face and gave his overgrown stubble a scratch. ‘I shouldn’t have said anything about your boyfriend.’

I gave a small smile, preparing to accept the apology.

‘How you let him treat you is none of my business.’

The smile left my face.

‘Excuse me?’

‘What?’ he asked, looking at me.

‘Is that your idea of an apology?’

Michael’s face remained blank.

‘You know what?’ I said, grabbing for the catch. ‘You’re pretty unbelievable!’

‘Now what I have done?’ He sat back, apparently genuinely perplexed.

‘That fact that you don’t even know what you’ve done is just – ’

‘Don’t give me that “if you don’t know what you’ve done” shit. You’re better than that and you’re usually not afraid to tell me when I’ve fucked up. Which, by the way, is something you ought to try on your so-called boyfriend. Because from where I’m sitting, he’s treating you like crap and yet you never pull him up on it!’

‘So much for you feeling that you shouldn’t be commenting on my love life! That didn’t last very long, did it?’

‘Maybe because I wasn’t actually sorry in the first place, but felt I ought to say it because for some reason I felt bad for upsetting you!’

‘Maybe because you thought I’d run and tell your sister on you? Well, don’t worry. I had no plans to do that, so feel free to say what you think. I’m a big girl and I can take care of myself. This is between you and me, and whatever I think of you and your misplaced opinions, I would never tell tales to your family. But it’s nice to know that you think I would!’

‘That’s not why I said it. I didn’t think you’d be “telling tales” at all. Besides, it wouldn’t really make any difference bearing in mind Janey has the same opinion of this Colin bloke as I do.’

‘Calum! His name is Calum! And really? You’re going to sit there and lecture about the right way to treat women?’

‘What the hell is that supposed to mean?’

‘You think he’s using me?’

‘I don’t know what he thinks he’s doing. But I think he’s getting it easy, with you just being there when it suits him.’ He held up a hand, as I made to protest. ‘And yes, I know, I know, he’s busy. Jesus, Katie we’re all busy but that doesn’t mean you go weeks without seeing someone you care about if you can help it!’

‘He can’t help it. Don’t you get it?’

‘Kate. He’s in feckin’ sales not a war zone! Believe me, he can help it.’

I felt my chest heaving and unwrapped my scarf, suddenly hot in the cab of the pickup. Michael turned his head towards the side window, away from me.

‘What did you mean about me and the way I treat women?’ He looked back at me. His jaw was set, the street lights casting deep shadows on his face – the only illumination now that the interior light had flicked off, its time up. ‘You think I use women?’

‘I should go.’

‘I want to know.’ His voice was soft, questioning. ‘Is that really what you think of me?’

‘Does it even matter what I think Michael?’ I was suddenly so tired, and the slight headache I’d had at the start of the journey was now building into something a lot more intense.

‘Yes, in this case.’

‘Why?’

‘Because, although I don’t give a shit about what a lot of people think about me, I do, for some reason, care if you think I’m some misogynistic user of women. Because I’m not.’

‘OK.’

‘OK? Is that it?’

‘What do you want me to say?’

‘I want you to say what you really think! I’m not Colin or Calum or whatever the hell he’s called. You don’t just have to agree with every word I say.’

‘Good. Because, believe me, that is never going to happen!’ I yanked on the door catch, ready to make my dramatic exit. Which would have been perfect except for the fact that I’d forgotten to undo my seat belt and instead ended up practically winding myself as the belt retracted against my exit force.’

‘Shit!’ I squeaked.

Michael pressed the seat belt button and it released itself, and me, from tension. I got out, slamming the door behind me and stalked around the vehicle towards the entrance to the flats. Unfortunately, Michael was also out of the car. And in my way.

‘I’d like to go in. Excuse me.’

‘You think because I don’t have relationships that I don’t value women?’

I looked up at him. ‘Michael you admit yourself that you don’t see the same woman more than once. Twice if she’s lucky. Your bedroom is completely devoid of anything that would tell said woman anything about you and you also admit that you don’t show them the rest of the house. The whole point of you even going to speak to a woman is for you to have sex with her. That’s it. You’ve absolutely no intention of showing any of them who you really are. It’s about finding someone to fulfil a basic need. So if that constitutes me thinking you’re using them, then yes, you’re right. I do think that! Now, can I go please?’

‘No.’

‘What?’

‘Did you ever stop to think that the women I sleep with are using me for exactly the same purpose?’

‘If you think you’re going to turn this into a sympathy vote, then you’ve got another think coming.’

‘Believe me, I don’t. And I don’t want to. I’m just saying that, in every instance, it’s two consenting adults. I’m absolutely always upfront about what I’m not looking for, i.e. something that goes beyond that night or maybe that weekend. The women I hook up with are looking for exactly the same thing I am. There’s no way I’d hit on someone…someone like you for example.’

‘Oh well! That is a relief.’

‘What I mean is that you’re after a hell of a lot more than a one-night stand.’

‘You have no idea what I’m after!’

‘I know you’re after more than that loser is giving you! You want it all Katie. And that’s fine. Why shouldn’t you? But you’re not getting it and you’re not even trying! Instead you just waste yourself on men like Calum and spend your time looking after friends - and even clients you don’t like very much - in order to fill whatever void it is that you have in your life.’

‘You have no right to judge me! And last time I checked, being kind wasn’t a crime.’

‘Of course it’s not. And as for judging you, you seemed to think it was OK to judge me and my treatment of women, so I’m just returning the favour. The difference is, I’m comfortable with my relationships.’

I made a noise at his use of the word. He ignored it.

‘Clearly you’re not, which is why you run around trying to put everything and everyone into neat little boxes, trying to fix people’s lives when, in truth, you need to take a good hard look at your own. And that would start with your so-called boyfriend. If you’re happy to let him treat you like you’re not the most important thing in the world to him, then that’s fine. But you can’t force people who care about you to think it’s OK.’

My eyes blazed and I could feel the tears shining in them as I willed them not to fall in front of him.

Michael took off his cap, ran a hand through his hair and then replaced it. ‘I know that you deserve more than he’s giving you. And I think you know it too.’ His voice was softer now. He took a step back and leant on the car. ‘I’m sorry Katie. I didn’t mean to shout at you.’ He looked across at me. ‘You know, my sister would tell me about you sometimes, how frustrated she was over you seeing this guy. She loves you to bits, you know.’

I nodded and a tear dislodged and rolled down my face. I swiped at it with the back of my mitten.

‘Anyway,’ Michael continued, ‘I’d just listen. You know, let her get it off her chest and then not think about it any more. But then I met you and now I can see why Janey is so upset about you wasting your life on him.

I shook my head as he stepped towards me.

‘Katie.’ Michael’s thumb touched my cheek, gently wiping away the tears. ‘You’re talented, gorgeous, funny, intelligent, kind. You’ve all the good stuff going on. You should be with someone that appreciates all that.’

‘I’m sorry I upset Janey.’

‘Ah, she’s fine. And once you come to your senses about this guy, she’ll be even better.’

I looked up and saw the conciliatory expression and the hesitant half-smile. But still…my mitten made a thwump sound as it hit the padding of his coat sleeve: I wasn’t about to let him off entirely.

‘It’s really not as bad as it seems, you know. I’m busy too so quite often, it’s…’ I stopped as I saw the look on Michael’s face. He was done exploding at me, but it was clear he wasn’t going to change his view on my relationship with Calum any time soon.

‘Come on, I’ll walk you to your door.’ He tilted his head at me. ‘You could at least try not to look quite so surprised. I know you think I’m a complete Neanderthal, but I do have some manners.’

I was too tired to protest and actually it was kind of nice. Unless he was coming in, Calum usually dropped me at the kerb and left. It would have been nice occasionally for him to have walked me to the door, especially as it wasn’t like you could see it from the pavement, thanks to the bushes and a large London plane tree that stood in front of the building.

I fished my key from my pocket. As I lifted it to the door and turned, Michael stepped back, allowing me room to go in.

‘Night Katie.’

‘Night Michael.’

***

Are you in? x

The text came back almost immediately.

Yes. Are you nearby? x

Got some time between appointments. Can I pop in? x

Kettle’s on. Get your arse over here :D x

I giggled at the reply and shoved the phone back in my bag, picking up my pace as I turned towards Janey’s house. The air was crisp in my lungs as the sun hung low in a cloudless blue sky. A jogger overtook me, which, bearing in mind she wore trainers and I wore four-inch platform court shoes, wasn’t that much of a surprise. Although, having had to belt for a bus in the same shoes in the past, I did at least know I could probably still give her a run for her money if I had to. My gaze fell on the little dog that trotted alongside her, a pink fluorescent jacket wrapped around its fluffy white fur. I tried not to think about Rooney. My determination lasted until the end of the road when I pulled out my phone, scrolled to Mark’s name and sent a text.

How’s Rooney this morning?

As I approached Janey’s house, my phone chirped and Mark’s message flashed on the screen. I stopped as I read it.

Morning Mark. How are you? I’m fine thanks, Katie.

A pokey tongue face served a punctuation, before he continued.

As for the boy in question, you’ll be glad to know he has found a home. I think it’s going to be great. As you said, we knew he wouldn’t be here long.

Part of me was over the moon – I never wanted Rooney to be in kennels long – but, deep inside, I knew I’d hoped to have another go at changing Michael’s mind, at convincing him he was ready for another dog, and that dog was Rooney. Or whatever he chose to call him. And now he’d been gazumped. But I knew Mark would only let animals go to people he knew were absolutely committed to giving that rescue the best life it could have so whoever was lucky enough to be the new owners of that soppy date had really got a great deal.