Читать книгу Poems for the Funeral Celebrant - Richard A. Phipps - Страница 7

Your initial meeting with the family of the deceased is crucial! It is the time you should be establishing a relationship of love and trust with every family member sitting around the table. They must see your empathy and compassion for them are genuine. At this gathering, which normally will last a couple of hours, you will collect the important information needed to construct the entire celebrant service! It is important to guide the family through this process. Below are questions I always ask, which not only help in developing the service message, but also any accompanying visual displays you may create and music selections to further accentuate the life celebration experience:

“If you could describe your loved one in one or two words, what would they be?”

This is probably the most important question you will ask! The answer will often set the stage for your development of a theme!

“What were your loved one’s favorite hobbies?”

“What was your loved one’s favorite sport or sport figure?”

“What were your loved one’s favorite books/poems to read?”

The answer to this question gives you a great resource for quotes that apply to the life of the deceased.

“What was your loved one’s profession in life?”

“Was your loved one religious or spiritual in nature?”

This, of course, will help you determine if there should be any religious/spiritual tones to the service, or to keep it strictly secular.

“What was your loved one’s favorite music and singer/band?”

This question will help you determine songs to play during the visitation and service. You can even use quotes from a favorite song to enhance your comments. I did a service for a man who loved Patsy Cline. Normally, I would have played one of her songs during the service; however, it just so happens that my wife is a Patsy Cline impersonator! So, after explaining to everyone Patsy was his favorite singer, I set the stage for one of her songs. Instead of playing a downloaded song, my wife (complete in Patsy Cline attire) began strolling toward the front of the room singing I Come a Walkin’ After Midnight, with a performance accompaniment track! Everyone there was blown away, and gave a resounding applause at the end of the song!

On another occasion, the deceased loved the movie O Brother Where Art Thou. This, by the way, set the theme for the entire service. My wife, dressed in a long white dress and singing acapella, came down the center aisle to begin the service with the song Down to the River to Pray. At the end of the service, everyone immediately went to her, raving over what she had done!

Of course, rarely do we have the advantage of impersonators. Don’t let that stop you! Always be on the ready to think outside the box when it comes to music.

“What was your loved one’s favorite color?”

Use this to determine what you and others involved in the service wear. You can also use color to set the mood in the room the service is being held.

“Did your loved one like to travel?”

“Did your loved one have any favorite movie, TV show or actor?”

This is another fun source of notable movie or TV quotes that can accentuate a life story or establish a service theme.

“Did your loved one have any favorite pets?”

“Did your loved one have a favorite food or dessert?”

The answer to this question can lead to many different options for you. We have given the immediate family gift certificates to their loved one’s favorite restaurant. I have also used it many times to help decide on memory tokens at the end of the service.

“Can you give me the precious memories and/or moments you have of your loved one?”

Stand by to write quickly when you ask this question!