Читать книгу Last of the Summer Wine - Richard Webber - Страница 6

Blamire and Compo go into the library to look at a photo exhibition. Compo takes out one of his doorstep-sized sandwiches.

BLAMIRE: You know, if ever one of those came up in the middle of the North Sea, there’d be an international incident to decide who was entitled to stick a flag into it.

COMPO: Come on, let’s go call on Clegg.

BLAMIRE: Just a moment. Just a moment. I’m studying contrast and tone. I used to exhibit myself, you know.

COMPO: You mucky old devil.

BLAMIRE: In the 14th Field Signals Regimental Camera Club, I won the Mrs. Colonel Langford O.B.E. Award for my interpretation of a soldier’s farewell at F11 in 1/60th of a second. Of course, the equipment has improved since those days.

COMPO: (Sadly) Mine hasn’t.

BLAMIRE: It’s marvellous what you can do with a close-up lens.

COMPO: Well, hurry up and do it and let’s go and get Clegg.

BLAMIRE: You’ve no cultural interests at all, have you?

COMPO: I’ve got me ferrets.

BLAMIRE: Didn’t you take any advantage of the army’s further education schemes?

COMPO: Well, we had this army film show once about social diseases. My mate fainted. (He approaches the display) Well it’s all a lot of rhubarb this, innit? Look at this—a tatty bit of wood. Who wants to take a photograph of a photograph of a lump of wood?

BLAMIRE: It’s a study in texture.

COMPO: I bet that bloke had a dolly bird sitting on there.

BLAMIRE: So what?

COMPO: And he clicked his shutter and she fell off. (He has a good chuckle)

BLAMIRE: You’ve no idea, no idea at all.

COMPO: Hey up! (looking very closely at a picture) Hey, look at this ’ere “September Morn”.

MEMORIES…

‘Duncan Wood recognised the comic element in my ITV series, The Misfit, and wanted me to try a sitcom. What threw me, though, was he required something for three old men—a dreadful idea, I thought. It left me cold and after playing about with it intensively for a couple of weeks, I couldn’t make it work. It bored me. Then, out of desperation, I thought that if they were all footloose and free, they were in the same position as adolescents at the other end of the scale. The minute I saw them as kids, it worked.’

ROY CLARKE

’Working with John Comer [Sid] was a joy. He was a stand-up comedian and wonderful at delivering the lines. He was very popular.

JANE FREEMAN (Ivy)