Читать книгу Only Fools and Horses - Richard Webber - Страница 8

Del and Rodney try chatting up girls at a nightclub. The trouble is, Del reverts to a pack of lies, suggesting his younger brother is an international tennis player, in order to impress but, as usual, just makes a fool of himself.

DEL: Yeah, he’s an international professional tennis player and I’m his manager. You must have heard of Rodney, yeah Rodney. The sporting press call him Hot Rod!

NICKY: Don’t think I have. What’s the surname?

‘WHAT A PLONKER!’ (DEL)

RODNEY: Trotter!

NICKY: Doesn’t ring a bell, sorry.

DEL: No, no that’s because we generally concentrate on the big American tournaments, you see.

MICHELE: Do you ever play Wimbledon?

DEL: No, no, we only play the big ’uns! We’ve just come back from the Miami Open …

NICKY: Really? You’re not very tanned for Miami, are you?

RODNEY: No, no, it was an indoor tournament.

Did you know?

Offers to turn Only Fools into a film and stage production have been made over the years.

DEL: Yeah, yeah, it’s amazing that, innit. I mean they call it the Miami Open and then they go an’ hold it indoors. That’s the Yanks for yer though eh? Anyway, we can’t complain like because he won it, he did, he er, beat that Jimmy Connolly in the final.

MICHELE: Jimmy Connelly? Don’t you mean Jimmy Connors?

DEL: No, he knocked that didlio out in the first round, nine sets to one! Actually we’re only in London to get Hot Rod here measured up for a new bat.

‘TRES BIEN ENSEMBLE.’ (DEL)

MICHELE: It’s a racquet!

DEL: It is, the price they charge, darling.

Memories …

‘When I began writing Only Fools I never had a system of working. I’ve had mobiles by the side of my bed, Dictaphones, but when the ideas happen, they just happen.

‘Initially, I wrote Fools straight on to an old-fashioned typewriter. Then, slowly, I turned to computers. But during the days of the typewriter, I’d sometimes work through the night re-typing.

‘I change my scripts and mess about with them so much before putting “first draft” on it. By then, I’ve actually changed it six or seven times. In these early stages, it’s like weaning a baby, but eventually I can get quite nasty with my script.

‘Once we’re in the editing suite, I don’t care about favourite lines. When I started, Dennis Main Wilson gave me the best advice: “Never fall in love with your lines.” He was right because that can cause you such pain.’

JOHN SULLIVAN