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THE POETICAL WORKS OF ROBERT BURNS
LXII. ANSWER TO A POETICAL EPISTLE SENT TO THE AUTHOR BY A TAILOR
Оглавление[The person who in the name of a Tailor took the liberty of admonishing Burns about his errors, is generally believed to have been William Simpson, the schoolmaster of Ochiltree: the verses seem about the measure of his capacity, and were attributed at the time to his hand. The natural poet took advantage of the mask in which the made poet concealed himself, and rained such a merciless storm upon him, as would have extinguished half the Tailors in Ayrshire, and made the amazed dominie
“Strangely fidge and fyke.”
It was first printed in 1801, by Stewart.]
What ails ye now, ye lousie b–h,
To thresh my back at sic a pitch?
Losh, man! hae mercy wi’ your natch,
Your bodkin’s bauld,
I didna suffer ha’f sae much
Frae Daddie Auld.
What tho’ at times when I grow crouse,
I gie their wames a random pouse,
Is that enough for you to souse
Your servant sae?
Gae mind your seam, ye prick-the-louse,
An’ jag-the-flae.
King David o’ poetic brief,
Wrought ‘mang the lasses sic mischief,
As fill’d his after life wi’ grief,
An’ bluidy rants,
An’ yet he’s rank’d amang the chief
O’ lang-syne saunts.
And maybe, Tam, for a’ my cants,
My wicked rhymes, an’ druken rants,
I’ll gie auld cloven Clootie’s haunts
An unco’ slip yet,
An’ snugly sit among the saunts
At Davie’s hip get.
But fegs, the Session says I maun
Gae fa’ upo’ anither plan,
Than garrin lasses cowp the cran
Clean heels owre body,
And sairly thole their mither’s ban
Afore the howdy.
This leads me on, to tell for sport,
How I did wi’ the Session sort,
Auld Clinkum at the inner port
Cried three times—“Robin!
Come hither, lad, an’ answer for’t,
Ye’re blamed for jobbin’.”
Wi’ pinch I pat a Sunday’s face on,
An’ snoov’d away before the Session;
I made an open fair confession—
I scorn’d to lee;
An’ syne Mess John, beyond expression,
Fell foul o’ me.
