Читать книгу Homework Sanity - Roger Wilkerson - Страница 8

The main point section covers the three core areas of change explained throughout Homework Sanity.

We are going to utilize a simple, common sense and practical approach to cleaning up chaos; a basic, organic idea that if we teach our children to read, write, do math and verbally express themselves before testing them, they will do immeasurably better. I know this is a crazy approach that schools do not embrace. Schools are not doing this, and the truth is that basic skills now have to be taught inside the house and then applied at school.

I could share thousands of insane, inane, stupid, dumb, idiotic and damaging ideas that teachers and administrators conjure and try to implement. One of the top ten: A “learning support team” provides assistance to a group of children who have been given a learning disability label. These people are basically scribes who have worked with the children all year long, developed a relationship with them, come to understand their needs and helped to push them in the proper direction. As this relationship has developed over an entire school year, in essence, these people have spent more time with each child than anyone at the school. Then, about a month away from the end of the school year, the learning support team comes up with and embraces the idea to mix all of the assistants and assign them to different students, students with whom they have not worked during the year. I can only guess that their goal was to find out what the test scores would be if they passively-aggressively removed support. Not only does this approach hurt children who are more likely to go into excessive panic, anxiety and abandonment, but it also hurts the schools when test scores are lower.

A concept of consistency is then intentionally replaced by the approach of dropping a bomb into the situation.

Tell me, who really needs learning support at that school? Correct answer: the actual learning support staff. If swapping out support teams at year’s end is their thinking, then how can value be brought to the children they’re supposed to be helping?

I don’t need to share thousands of stories; most likely the reason you have this book in your hands right now is because you’re facing your own very real, crazy, insane, inane and highly stupid situation. Homework Sanity was conceived and written to provide you with viable solutions to reduce your stress levels.

Partnering with vs. Parenting Your Child covers why this is an important energy shift. One definition of insanity made popular through twelve-step programs is the concept of doing the same thing over and expecting different results.

The parent sees behavior, begins categorizing it as right/wrong, then either rewards/punishes the behavior. This process is automatic. I promise you, the minute you become a partner with your child, all of the old troubles begin to vanish. They vanish because you are no longer coming from your head. When we move away from rigid mindsets into open partnership, the gift of gaining time and space to think before taking action emerges.

Are we going to get it right 100%? Nope.

Are we going to get it wrong 100%? Nope.

Is that even what we’re trying to achieve? Hell no!

The more time we get to think about an action prior to taking it, the less the likelihood of receiving a negative outcome. This approach also makes communication easier for your children by encouraging more honesty and details about what is really going on within their classes and how they view schoolwork.

Another gift from this filter is the generation of both long-term and immediate benefits. Your child is only in second grade once. There are lessons every second grader must learn, or they become an adult making second-grade decisions. As a parent, do you want your adult child making second-grade decisions on your health care issues when you are in your eighties? Do you want second-grade choices on life support questions? Moving away from being a parent and towards being a partner has both long term benefits to you and immediate results for your children.

Priorities vs. Goals is really the key to moving from insane to sane thinking on homework and school in general. Priorities allow fluidity, and that is critical for success; otherwise we become mired in the stupid decisions, choices and approaches thrown at us by the school system or by teachers in general. This rings especially true when the school tells you something is wrong with your child when, in fact, your special one is simply a child who might negatively impact the institution’s test scores. The approach you can develop allows you not to react to insane emails, comments or notes returned home cloaked as “feedback.”

Homework vs. Busywork opens your mind to a new way of thinking. Right now, when you look at your child’s homework, the first thoughts are likely: Do I know how to do this work myself? Did they teach me this in school? Do I remember how to do this math? Why do I have to do this crap again? Clarity must be achieved to see that some work is simply busywork designed to prep children for a test. Those thoughts can be replaced with one clear, laser-sharp concept: Does my child really need to do this work?

Making these intellectual and emotional leaps are how you realize you are moving from parent to partner. A parent mindset is focused on ensuring a task gets done not only for the child, but also for you. This guarantees that you do not look bad to the teacher, either. It is a mindset that puts you in a defensive mode and divides you from your child. The partner mindset asks the question on the front end: Is this task even necessary?

The Homework Sanity approach allows for transforming from running defensive plays to being on offense and scoring frequently. I am consistently amazed that when I question a teacher who is over-prescribing homework, “Other than hoping that this will increase the test score of the children, why are they being assigned this extra work?” I have yet to receive an answer. I often follow with, “Was this your idea, or was it a demand from your bosses?” which is no more successful at eliciting an answer.

A workable resolution for that form of uber-homework is to send the assigned pages back to the teacher with a note: “My children say this was not taught in class. If it was taught in class, could you please go over it again before they do this as homework? If it wasn’t taught in class, then could you please explain why it was assigned as homework? Thank you.”

Applying this tool to help your children organizes their work. They become grateful and will tell you much more of the truth. You may be surprised at how often, when your child says, “They did not teach us this in class,” it is true.

Time and again I will return to the theme of partnership. Successful partners get to share profits. That’s the new path we are paving together.