Читать книгу Loving On the Edge 5-Book Collection: Crash Into You, Melt Into You, Fall Into You, Caught Up In You, Need You Tonight - Roni Loren, Roni Loren - Страница 25

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Brynn nestled deeper into the crook of Reid’s arm, the bed squeaking beneath her, and he ran his palm over her hair. She’d told him everything, dragged out the nasty innards of what had happened to her, and laid it out there unedited.

He’d listened to every word—shock, sympathy, and anger crossing his face at different intervals. But to his credit, even though she could tell he’d had questions, he’d held his tongue and had let her finish without interruption, as if sensing that if she’d paused, she wouldn’t have been able to get it all out.

His chest rose and fell under her cheek as he drew in a deep breath and released it. “My God, Brynn. I don’t even know what to say.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything,” she said, feeling tired, gutted.

He pressed his lips to the crown of her head, and his voice turned strained. “This was all my fault. If I hadn’t been late, I could’ve stopped him.”

“No,” she said, sitting up so she could face him. “Don’t do that. The rape was not your fault. It was that psycho’s fault, whoever he is.”

He shook his head, his jaw set. “No, I could’ve helped. Could’ve been there for you.”

The guilt in his words tore at her. “I didn’t let you. I almost broke down and called you about a week later. But then I saw the photo in the paper of you and Vanessa at that party, and I figured you were probably better off. It’s not like I would’ve been able to continue the kind of relationship we had. You saw what ­happened earlier. Blindfolds, being restrained, aggressive guys—it all can set off panic attacks or flashbacks for me now.”

He grimaced. “Why didn’t you tell me when we got here? I would’ve never made you do all this. We could’ve done the bare minimum to get by.”

“Talking about the details of that night just drags me back there, so I didn’t want to open myself up to that again. Plus, I thought coming here could be a cure. Sometimes throwing yourself totally into the fear can fix it.” She looked down at her hands. “I’m so tired of feeling this way, letting it interfere with my life. I wanted to see if I could force myself past it, have a shot at a normal life, a chance at finding a normal relationship.”

He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I feel like such an asshole. I pushed you harder than I ever have. You must’ve been miserable the whole time we’ve been here.”

She gave a half-smile. “Well, not the whole time. You and Jace made it a bit difficult to focus on anything but the two of you. I thought the rip-off-the-Band-Aid method was working, but then—”

He frowned. “I took it too far. I was so wrapped up in my own crap that I wasn’t paying attention to your signals. I’m so sorry.”

She shrugged. “It’s okay. You didn’t know. It was stupid for me to think I could get over it that easily. Clearly, I’m too screwed up for a quick fix. I just hope I can make it through tomorrow night without completely losing it again.”

He reached out and rubbed her knee. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re not screwed up—you’ve been through hell. The fact that you had the balls to come here in the first place is amazing. If you want to skip tomorrow night, I can go alone—try to track Kelsey down for you.”

“No, it’s okay. She’s not going to be willing to talk to anyone but me. I’ll figure out a way to get through it. And if the panic takes over, I’ll have you and Jace there to help me.”

“I’ll be there for whatever you need.”

The sincerity emanating from his blue eyes sent hazy warmth through her. She leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the lips. “Thank you.”

With this thumb, he swiped away the lone tear that had slipped past her lids. “Thanks for finally trusting me with the truth.”

Without considering the consequences, she dipped back down, seeking a deeper kiss. She knew it was dangerous, stupid. But after rehashing the rape, she needed to erase the ugliness of the last hour. She didn’t want to think about that night or the daunting task of finding her sister tomorrow or all the reasons why she needed to avoid Reid now. All she wanted to do was bury herself in the feeling she used to get when it was just the two of them—like no problem in the world was too big to tackle.

Reid’s eyebrows rose in surprise when her mouth touched his again, but after a second’s pause, he slipped his fingers along the nape of her neck and drew her in closer. His tongue parted her lips, and his other hand drifted to the small of her back. Instead of the frantic need that had colored their earlier encounter, he took a languid pace with his kiss and explored her mouth with heated tenderness, savoring her.

He eased back against the pillows, lowering her until her breasts pressed into the solid planes of his chest. Her muscles melted against him, and she sank into the moment—relishing his flavor, the feel of his stubble against her face, the scent of fading cologne and man. If she could bottle minutes, she would capture these.

Too soon, Reid withdrew and stared up at her with conflicted eyes. He cradled the side of her face. “It’s been a long night, sugar. How about I go run you a hot bath?”

She pressed her forehead against his, recognizing a retreat when she saw it. A swift reminder that despite their heartfelt conversation, this situation was only a means to an end and sex. Intimate make-out sessions could lead nowhere good. She rolled off him and stretched, noticing for the first time how her muscles ached. “Sounds heavenly.”

He climbed off the bed and belted his robe, his smile warm, but his stance stiff. “Be back in a few minutes, sugar.”

True to his word, he returned to the bedroom a little while later and lifted her off the bed. She laughed. “You were a lot to handle, but I can still walk, ya know?”

“You wound me,” he said with mock hurt. “But I’m carrying you anyway. I’ve put you through a lot tonight, let me take care of you.”

He nudged open the bathroom door with his foot and carried her into the lavish bathroom. Instant warmth kissed her skin. He’d lit the candles around the edge of the enormous Jacuzzi tub and the scent of lavender wafted off the curls of steam rising from the water. “Wow, now that is what I call drawing a bath.”

He set her on her feet and pulled off the T-shirt she’d ­borrowed from him. He smiled down at her, his eyes dark in the flickering candlelight. “Glad you approve.”

She tugged at the knot in his robe. “You joining me?”

He palmed her bare hip and drew her closer. “You’re in charge right now, babe. You tell me.”

She yanked the tie harder and his robe fell open, revealing miles of muscle and rugged male beauty. Her hands moved to his chest, her fingertips exploring the lines of his collarbone, his sternum, the cut of his wide shoulders. She pushed off the robe the rest of the way. “I think I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts right now.”

He caught one of her hands and brought it to his lips, placing a kiss in the center of her palm. “Then I’d be honored to join you.”

With the ease of a child picking up a doll, he swept her back into his arms and carried her to the tub to lower her in. The heat enveloped her and her aching muscles, inspiring a long, satisfied sigh. Once he had her safely immersed, he climbed in and settled behind her, letting her recline against his chest.

She caught their intertwined reflection in the mirrored wall at the foot of the tub. “The mirror isn’t steaming over.”

“They probably treat it with something so nothing interferes with the view. They think of everything here.” He kissed her shoulder. “Comfortable?”

She let her hands drift along the strong thighs that framed her. “You may need to carry me out afterward. I think my muscles have liquefied.”

“It would be my pleasure,” he said, his voice right next to her ear. “I’ll carry you anywhere you want to go.”

He reached for a sponge on the side of the bathtub and squirted it with vanilla-scented soap. With slow, methodical strokes, he began to wash her neck and shoulders, working the knots of tension from them. Her mind was a twisted mess, but the combination of shear emotional and physical exhaustion and Reid’s skilled hands were swiftly lulling her into a hazy, almost numb state.

He grazed a finger over the scar that marred the back of her left shoulder, and she momentarily tensed. But when he didn’t ask about it, she relaxed again, closed her eyes, and leaned forward so he could reach her back. “Aren’t I supposed to be doing this for you, Master?”

He chuckled, but continued washing. “You can remove that tongue of yours from your cheek, smart-ass. First of all, you’re not my slave. Even if this weekend were real, that’s not what I’m into. And secondly, you’re assuming I don’t get pleasure from taking care of you like this. Believe me, washing your naked body is no hardship.”

His hands slid over her rib cage, and she sank back against him while he scrubbed circles over her belly. She mulled over what he’d said for a moment. “What do you mean, that’s not what you’re into? I thought the whole slave thing was what this was all about.”

“I love taking sexual control of a woman—especially one who’s used to being in charge in the rest of her life. Love bringing her to a level of release she didn’t even know she could reach. But I’m not looking to take it outside of that realm or have a partner submit to me twenty-four seven like a lot of the people here. That holds no appeal for me.”

She chewed her lip, considering his answer. “So you’re just looking to have a good time with someone, then go home to your normal life.”

He sighed. “Pretty much. I’ve learned the hard way that relationships and this scene don’t mix well for me. But I can’t shut off the desire—it’s part of who I am. So yeah, now that I’m divorced, I’ll probably join a club and keep the play separate from the rest of my life.”

A bitter taste filled her mouth. “And keep it a secret from whoever you’re with?”

His hands paused, and she could feel him bristle beneath her. “No, despite what you thought happened when we were dating, I don’t cheat. All I’m saying is that I’ve done the marriage and commitment thing, I don’t need to do it again.”

She swirled her fingers in the bubbles. “And you think you can be happy just having random hookups at some club?”

His shrug sent a ripple through the water. “Works for Jace.”

She pursed her lips, not sure why Reid’s plan annoyed her so much. What did she care about how he chose to live his life? Her mind drifted to all the subs she’d passed in the club last night, all the women who had sent envious glances her way. Would one of those women be kneeling at his feet next weekend? The thought made her intestines knot.

“What’s running through that busy mind of yours?”

Her eyes traveled to the mirror and met his probing blue stare. She quickly shifted her focus to one of the candles on the side of the bathtub, scrabbling to come up with another thought to share besides the one she’d been having. “It amazes me that people can go into this kind of dynamic with strangers. I mean, for the dom it’s not as much of a risk, you hold the control. But for the sub… there’s so much trust that needs to be there. Even if I wasn’t dealing with my panic attacks, I can’t imagine willingly turning myself over to someone I didn’t know.”

He nuzzled the curve of her shoulder. “It’s definitely not something to enter lightly with strangers. If you ever get the urge to sub again, you can come to whatever club I join. I’ll make sure you’re well taken care of.”

“Thanks, but I’m not that girl anymore.” Even if she could get past her anxiety, she had no desire to live some clandestine double life. Growing up, she’d expended enough energy hiding her mother’s secrets and feeling ashamed. Never again would she be the subject of hushed neighborhood whispers.

No, after this weekend, her dalliance with sexual submission was done for good. She would move on and continue searching for the guy who would fit into the vision she had for her future. Nice suburban home, a few kids, maybe a dog—the kind of normal, respectable existence she’d only been able to glimpse from afar growing up.

“Who are you, then?” he asked, his voice quiet.

The question hung in the air, taunting her. How could she reconcile the woman she thought herself to be with the one who’d melted under the commands and hands of the man sitting behind her? One who’d let two men tie her up and enjoyed it? She shook her head, a lump lodging in her throat.

“Shh, never mind,” he said, apparently sensing her darkening mood. “No stress allowed in the bathtub.”

The sponge moved higher, over her navel, the ripples of her ribs, tickling the underside of her breasts. His movements were gentle, but not tentative—as if he sensed the only way to pull her from her spiraling thoughts was to draw her back into her senses. It was his gift and one of the reasons he’d been so addictive back when they’d dated. He’d always been able to quiet the storm for her, bring her into a place where all she had to do was listen to his commands and feel his touch. A welcome respite from the constant beehive of worries and responsibilities in her mind.

The mild abrasiveness of the sponge crested the curve of her breast and moved over the distended nipples. Darts of pleasure trekked from the point of contact outward, chasing the tension that had tiptoed into her tendons back into the shadows. She let out a little murmur of appreciation and stretched her leg onto the edge of the tub.

A rumble of Jacuzzi jets cut through the quiet room, startling her, and fat bubbles broke through the still water. “Uh-oh, I must’ve hit a button.”

He kept his attention on her breasts, dropping the sponge and soaping the swells with his agile hands. “It’s okay. Might as well enjoy all the tub has to offer.”

She tilted her head back and arched into his touch. He gave her needy buds a firm pinch and the sensation shot straight to another swelling bud between her thighs.

“Just lay back and relax, sugar.” His hands moved down until they slid to the outside of her thighs. She offered no resistance as he tucked his palms under her knees and spread her legs wide, positioning her in the direct line of one of the jets.

“Oh!” She jerked back as the warm current of water pulsed against her already sensitive clit, but he kept her in place, holding her as well as any restraints ever could.

“Let me make up for ruining your pleasure earlier. I promise I won’t let you drown.” He dragged his tongue along her shoulder, lapping up the droplets of water beading there. “Mmm, and maybe I won’t let you dry off after the bath. I might just lick you clean instead.”

She moaned at the image he’d painted and at the relentless throb of water against her. Already, the coils of need inside her were tightening to the breaking point. Her body arched, sending water sloshing out of the tub and onto the tiled floor. She dug her nails into his thighs, trying to keep herself from slipping fully under the water. “Reid. I can’t—”

“Shh, give in to it. I have you. Just let go, let it all go, and trust that I’m here.”

The jets were like legions of hot tongues flicking, caressing, and nibbling her most sensitive nerves all at the same time. Tremors coursed through her, sending bigger and bigger waves of pleasure splashing over her, building toward the tsunami she knew was lingering in the distance.

Reid eased her thighs wider, opening her completely, giving them both a view of her water-slicked nudity in the mirror. He nipped at the back of her neck but kept his eyes focused on the reflection. “You’re so beautiful when you let go. Let me watch you come for me.”

As if his command willed it, the jets shifted to just the right spot and her nerve endings exploded into bright bursts of sparkling pleasure. A hoarse cry ripped from her throat, echoing off the walls in the room, and her body thrashed against him. He held her in place until she was almost at the edge of sanity, then swiftly kicked off the Jacuzzi and released her legs to sink back against him.

He gathered her closer to him, turning her, and tucked her head under his chin. Her body continued to quiver with aftershocks as he rubbed a gentle hand up and down her back. When she finally stilled, he slipped an arm under her knees. “Let’s get you out of here and into bed. It’s been a long night.”

He set her on the closed lid of the toilet and toweled her off with patient attention. Her muscles felt like wet rubber bands, but the buzzing afterglow of her orgasm and the view of the sexy man before her had entertaining other ideas than sleep. Her eyes traveled over Reid’s luscious backside as he bent to grab a T-shirt from his bag. He had slipped on a pair of boxer briefs, but before he had turned, she hadn’t missed the ramrod erection he was sporting.

When he spun to face her again, he smirked. “LeBreck, are you checking me out?”

“Can’t a girl look?

He laughed as he slipped the shirt over her head. “Sure, I give you permission to objectify me at any time.”

She poked his side. “You’re an arrogant bastard, you know that?”

He bent and laid a quick kiss on her lips. “You love it. Now come on, off to bed with you.”

Reid carried Brynn into the bedroom and settled her beneath the covers. She closed her eyes and for the brief moment, he let himself drink in the view. The polished, put-together professional was nowhere to be found. Her makeup had long since worn off and her blond hair was starting to curl where it’d gotten wet. He loved seeing her like this—her only adornment the flushed hue of a woman well satisfied. If she were his, he’d make sure that she went to bed every night with that look.

He groaned inwardly. There he went again—thinking stupid shit about staking some claim on her. He’d already stuck a toe in dangerous waters, offering to take her on as a sub if she ever wanted to join him at a club. As if she’d ever be open to that after she found out why he was really here.

Didn’t matter. She’d recoiled at the idea anyway. And how could he blame her? Brynn didn’t want a guy who could offer her a weekend collar; she wanted one that would offer her a lifetime ring. Deserved it.

She shifted onto her elbow and peered up at him from under her lashes. “I think it’s time you get a little TLC, too.”

Her voice was as innocent as a spring morning, but the suggestion in those moss-colored eyes shot straight to his groin. “Sugar, it’s almost three in the morning.”

She nodded toward the now aching bulge in his shorts. “Doesn’t look like your friend knows that.”

He gave her a rueful smile. There’d be nothing he’d like more than to slide in bed next to her and keep her awake until the sun came up, but he knew better. Besides the fact that they needed to be rested for tomorrow, one-on-one sex with Brynn was not an option. “Don’t worry about that. He can’t help standing at attention anytime you’re around. You’ve already given me more than enough tonight.”

Her eyebrows lifted. “Since when have you gotten enough?”

He laughed and kissed the crown of her head. “Since I discovered years ago that you are absolutely insufferable without sleep. I refuse to subject myself or the rest of the resort to that tomorrow.”

She pushed her lip out in a mock pout and shifted into a sitting position, bringing her thin T-shirt and the hard points of her nipples into clear view. “I’m not that bad.”

“Uh-huh.” He turned away from her and headed toward the closet, trying to think of anything besides how much he wanted to tear the shirt off her, seize those tight little buds with clamps, and test out that spanking bench taunting him at the end of the bed.

He’d lock her down on all fours, spread her wide so he could enjoy every detail of that smooth pussy, her sweet ass. He’d tease and pinch and nibble until her honey dripped down her thighs—until he knew she was aching just for him. Then he’d take her—utterly and completely—until she was so exhausted that all she’d be able to do when he was done with her would be to curl in his arms and let him hold her while she slept.

His erection hardened to the point of pain, and he had to stifle a groan. Fuck. He needed space. Air. Something. Before he broke every rule he’d set for himself coming into this thing. He yanked a pillow and extra blanket off the top shelf of the closet and spun to face her.

“Get some rest, LeBreck,” he said, forcing a casual tone. “We have another full day ahead of us tomorrow.”

Her attention zeroed in on the items in his hand. “You’re not sleeping in here?”

“I’m a rough sleeper. It’ll be best for both of us if I use the sofa bed out front.” He knew the excuse was lame, knew she would see through it. But at the moment, he didn’t care. He needed out of the room. Now.

A cool mask stole over her features, and he could almost see the mental retreat from the openness they’d shared a few minutes earlier. She leaned over and clicked off the bedside lamp, plunging them into shadows. “Don’t forget to shut the door on your way out.”

He cringed at the icy tone. He’d hurt her. He’d known it would, but if he stayed, he’d hurt her much worse. So without another word, he stepped out of the bedroom and put a solid wooden door between them—hoping it was strong enough to protect them both.