Читать книгу Loving On the Edge 5-Book Collection: Crash Into You, Melt Into You, Fall Into You, Caught Up In You, Need You Tonight - Roni Loren, Roni Loren - Страница 43

THREE

“Sweets, you okay in there?” Daniel tapped on her door. “We missed you at the meeting this morning.”

“I’ll be right out.” Evan twisted her arm behind her, trying to reach the zipper on the back of her sundress. She’d slept through her alarm and had woken up right when she was supposed to be in the middle of a breakfast meeting with Daniel and a potential vendor. Not good.

After one more yoga-like move, she gave up and yanked open the door, finding Daniel leaning against the wall in the hallway, tapping out a text message and looking like an Armani model in his perfectly tailored slacks and dress shirt.

“Can you help me with this?” she asked.

“Hmm?” Daniel looked up from his phone, then pushed off the wall. “Oh, sure.”

“Thanks.” She turned around and waited for him to zip up the dress. “I’m sorry about this morning. I must’ve slept through the alarm.”

“Yeah, I was going to wake you, but you were dead to the world when I peeked in. Guess we all need a lazy morning every now and then, right?”

She shot him a pointed glare over her shoulder, then turned and breezed past him into the suite’s living area.

“What?” he asked, his tone innocent. “Did I say something wrong?”

Marcus, Daniel’s business manager and boyfriend, looked up from his USA Today as she sank onto the couch across from him. He smirked. “Hey you, rough night?”

Her gaze narrowed. “I don’t know, Mr. Yes-Please-Oh-God-Just-Like-That, what do you think?”

Marcus gave her a sheepish grin. “Oh, you heard that?”

She threw a pillow at him, and he ducked behind his newspaper.

“You guys are killing me. I know you’re happy and in love and apparently rock each other’s world, but take pity on the girl in the other room who doesn’t have some sexy man heating up her sheets.”

Daniel sat next to her and put his arm around her. “I’m sorry, sweets. We drank a little too much celebrating the TV deal and got carried away. We didn’t mean to keep you awake.”

“But look.” Marcus lifted a steaming cup from the side table. “I went out and got your favorite fancy coffee for you. Does that help?”

“Marginally.” She sighed and let her head rest against Daniel’s shoulder.

“Is everything else okay?” Daniel asked. “You never miss a meeting, even if you didn’t get a lot of sleep.”

“I’m fine.”

Daniel rubbed her bare arm and looked down at her, his all-knowing brown eyes evaluating her. “Are you sure that’s all? You know if that new medication isn’t working, I can talk to Dr. Barnes about getting you something different.”

Oh, great, here we go. Daniel had been her best friend for too long, and paired with his psych degree, he was a formidable force at poking past her shields. “I don’t need a different medication.”

She didn’t want any medication, for that matter. She’d weaned herself off those horrid antidepressants three months earlier. But she hadn’t quite told Daniel that part yet. She’d planned to first prove how well she was doing off them before breaking the news to Mr. Overprotective. Unfortunately, her behavior last night wasn’t exactly a billboard advertisement for mental stability.

“We saw the empty tequila bottles,” Marcus added, his tone gentle. “It’s not like you to drink like that.”

“Oh, my God. Would you two just stop?” She shrugged from beneath Daniel’s grasp with a huff and rose from the couch, grabbing her coffee from Marcus on the way up. “Seriously, guys, I’m not in the mood for Freud and his trusty sidekick. I couldn’t sleep and listening to you guys had me all keyed up. So I had a few drinks and took a walk on the beach in lieu of a cold shower. That’s all.”

She walked to the glass doors that led to the balcony and stared out at the beach. The stretch of sand that had been so deserted just a few hours earlier was now filled with families and children, happily playing in the surf. She pressed her fingers against the glass, feeling so far removed from that world that the glass may as well have been made of impenetrable steel.

“Ah, the truth reveals itself,” Marcus said from behind her, his tone playful. “That ridiculous vow of celibacy is finally getting to you, isn’t it? I told you it was unnatural.”

She ignored him. Blatantly.

“Is that it, Evan?” Daniel asked. “Are you lonely? I know things have been crazy with this seminar tour and we haven’t been able to spend as much down time together.”

She didn’t turn around, just spoke to her own reflection in the window. “How can I be lonely? I’m always with two men.”

“That’s not the same,” Marcus said.

“He’s right,” Daniel agreed. “We both love you and are so happy you’re with us, but maybe you need to think about finding some physical outlet. It would be good for you.”

She shook her head and turned around. “You want me to get a lover?”

Daniel frowned, his dark eyebrows dipping low. “You know you have that option. When we agreed to this arrangement, I never intended for you to give up sex. That’s been your choice.”

The arrangement. She guessed that was what they were calling it now. Daniel had saved her life and her sanity when they were on the streets. She owed him everything. And she’d never had someone she could count on so wholeheartedly in her life. So she’d readily agreed to do whatever it took to help him with his crazy business idea. But she hadn’t known at the time she’d been signing up to live a lie.

The first radio station manager who’d considered Daniel for a job had told him he couldn’t put Daniel on the air as a relationship guru if he was openly gay. He said—right or wrong—there was no way people in Fort Worth were going to take marriage advice from someone who couldn’t even legally marry.

Evan had wanted to flip off the whole system and move to someplace more open-minded like Austin or maybe even California. But they hadn’t had the money to do that then, and Daniel had been so desperate for a break that he’d come up with the arrangement.

Most of the time she was perfectly content with the decision. She’d never had so much stability in her life. And she was with a man she loved and could trust—even if she would never sleep with him.

Or anyone the way things were going.

“Yeah, well, I’m sorry if it’s not exactly tempting to go jump in bed with some guy who’s totally cool with me cheating on my fiancé.” Evan shuddered. “The kind of sleaze ball who would be okay with that kind of thing is not someone I’d want to get horizontal with.”

Daniel sighed. “I know it’s not ideal, but you have to work with us here. I can’t risk you telling someone the truth. The minute the relationship goes wrong, the guy could blow the whole thing open. Then, all three of us are screwed.”

She groaned. “I get it, okay.”

“Do you? It seems like over the last few months you’ve lost sight of why you agreed to do this in the first place. Don’t forget what it was like before all this, Evan. What it could be like again if we’re not smart.”

She scoffed. Forget? Yeah, right. She’d love to fucking forget. But being on the streets and not knowing if you’d eat from day to day wasn’t something that easily left the memory. “Don’t be an asshole. Believe me, I know why I’m here.”

Daniel’s expression softened. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just, we’ve done all this work and now it’s really happening—national TV. I want you to be happy. Just think, a few more years and you’ll never have to worry about money again. Then, if you want to walk away and do the traditional marriage and kids thing, you’ll still be able to do that.”

Her chest tightened, an invisible band squeezing out all of her air. No, she didn’t think she’d ever be able to do that. Especially the kid part. But she’d never tell Daniel that. She sipped her coffee and turned back to the window. “I’m fine, okay? I think I’m just tired of being on the road. Let’s drop the whole thing.”

“You sure? You know you can talk to us about anything,” Marcus added.

“Then talk to me about today’s agenda,” she said, desperate to redirect the conversation. “Isn’t the first workshop about sex toys?”

Daniel snorted. “Well, that’s not exactly how we labeled it, but yeah, it’s for couples who are looking to spice up their sex lives. The guy we met with this morning is leading it. Should be a fun workshop if the couples can relax a little.”

“Hell, I’m only going so I can stare at the speaker,” Marcus said, the sound of him folding his newspaper half drowning him out. “It’s a damn shame that beautiful man is straight. Even if he hadn’t presented such a great proposal, I would’ve given him our business.”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, maybe I’ll put in an order for a few toys for myself. Get myself a new battery-operated lover and solve all our problems.”

“And no sleeping alone tonight,” Daniel said, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. “You can share our bed. We promise to behave.”

She turned around in his arms, taking care not to spill her coffee on him, and smirked. “Thanks, that’s sweet, but last time we did that, Marcus snored like a chainsaw the whole night.”

A loud scoff came from behind Daniel. “I did no such thing.”

Daniel chuckled and pressed his forehead against hers. “We’re here for you, sweets. We’re all in this together.” He lowered his voice. “And all we need to do is roll him on his side after he nods off to shut him up.”

“I heard that,” Marcus called.

She couldn’t help but smile. “I do love you guys, you know?”

“Back at ya, buttercup.” He lifted his head and grinned. “Now let’s go learn how to spice up our sex lives and try to keep Marcus from ogling our guest speaker.”

* * *

Evan fiddled with the wire on the PowerPoint projector and cursed the damned machine under her breath for a second time. A few couples had already drifted into the meeting room, and she knew the speaker would be right behind them. Usually, she was pretty good at the technical stuff and had been successfully setting up the meeting equipment for all the workshops this weekend, but her pounding headache and lack of sleep had pureed her brain.

Plus, she’d discovered that the hotel’s wiring was a bit temperamental, so she didn’t want to overload the circuit again. Yesterday she’d nearly plunged the windowless room into darkness when she’d plugged the computer and the projector into the same power strip. For a few seconds the room had looked like a nightclub with all the blinking lights.

She kneeled down and scooted under the table to check that the surge protector was plugged in, making sure not to flash her backside to the audience while doing so. She never wore dresses to these things because she inevitably ended up doing dirty work of some sort, but the welts on her thigh were still too tender to have pants rubbing against them.

“Need some help with that?”

The sound of the familiar voice had her jolting upward, and she banged her head against the table’s underside. “Son of a—”

“Oh, hell,” Jace said, squatting down and peeking at her. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. You all right?”

“I think so.” She rubbed her head and took his offered hand so she could climb out from under the table, wondering for a second if she’d actually knocked herself out and was only imagining him here. Imagining him looking this dazzling in crisp black slacks and a polo shirt that perfectly matched his green eyes.

He smiled. “Do I need to render first aid again?”

She shook her head, still a bit dazed, although she was sure the lightheadedness had nothing to do with hitting her head. “What are you doing here?”

“You left before we had a chance to chat last night.” He crooked his thumb at the projector. “I’m today’s speaker.”

The words took a moment to line up in her head. “Wait, what?”

He reached into his back pocket, pulled out his wallet, and handed over a business card. “Jace Austin at your service. Owner of Wicked which, as of this morning, is the recommended adult boutique and website for Dr. Dan’s loyal fans.”

Daniel stepped up behind Jace and clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Jace, I see you’ve met my lovely fiancée. Evan was so disappointed that she missed our meeting earlier. Something came up that she had to take care of.”

Jace’s gaze met hers. “No worries. I’m sure she’s a very busy lady. I’m just happy that the both of you are staying on for the workshop today. Hopefully, I don’t disappoint.”

Daniel smiled. “Ah, I don’t doubt you’ll do great. Just be aware that some of these couples haven’t so much as touched each other in months, sometimes years. So, they may need to be eased into the topic in order to feel comfortable.”

“I understand. My plan is to have them do some non-threatening, sensate exercises with each other, make it fun and just a little sexy. Then hopefully they’ll be relaxed enough to ask questions after that.”

Daniel nodded. “Sounds good. I really want it to be a safe place for them to have an open dialogue. Plus, I want to normalize some of your products so that they feel comfortable to explore. I think beyond the emotional issues, a lot of couples just get bored with their routine in bed.”

“Well, we definitely have a lot of things to alleviate that last problem.” Jace smiled as he looked at her, then back to Daniel. “Hey, would you and Evan want to participate in the couples’ activity? It may help the group feel more comfortable if they see you guys are willing to do it as well.”

Daniel’s gaze drifted to Evan, and she gave a slight shake of the head. He tucked his hands in his pockets, a mischievous glint flickering behind his brown eyes. “Actually, I’m going to be in and out. I have a conference call I have to take in the middle of it, but Evan can help you out. You can do the activity with her.”

She clenched her jaw so it wouldn’t drop open and sent Daniel a what-the-hell-are-you-doing look. “Daniel, I don’t think—”

“I don’t want to put anyone in an awkward position,” Jace said, his eyes shifting toward Evan, his own discomfort evident. “I don’t mind managing on my own.”

“Don’t be silly,” Daniel said. “Evan will be glad to help, won’t you, sweets?”

She pasted on a smile and vowed to kick Daniel’s ass later. “Sure, no problem.”

He probably thought he was doing her a favor—letting her have a little fun with a hot guy, but he had no idea how hard it was for her to even stand next to Jace without stirring up an old ache she’d rather keep dormant.

Jace eyed her in that way he’d done the night before, like he wasn’t buying her bullshit, but his tone was bright when he spoke. “Great. We’ll get started in a little while.”

Twenty minutes later, Evan was ready to slip out the back door and bail on the whole thing. After introductions and a general overview of what he hoped to accomplish in the workshop, Jace had instructed the couples to ditch their chairs and get comfortable on the floor. The attendees were murmuring among themselves as everyone got settled—a little edge of anxiety zipping through the group.

Jace had assured them that these would all be simple exercises, but as he handed out gift bags that contained a number of sexy items—blindfolds, feathers, scarves—the mellow energy of the room had shifted into nervous anticipation.

Jace finished distributing the bags and circled back to the front of the room where she sat on the edge of the stage, bumping her knee up and down in time with her out-of-control heartbeat. He gave her a wary smile before hopping up on the stage and turning toward the audience.

“All right, guys and dolls, the lovely Ms. Kennedy has agreed to be my willing victim to demonstrate the exercise, so I’d like to thank her for her bravery. And hopefully we won’t make the good doctor too jealous.” Jace winked in Daniel’s direction and the audience laughed.

Jace put out his hand and helped Evan to her feet. “Now since Evan’s up here on stage and has a dress on, I’m going to have her sit in a chair for this, but for everyone else, I want one person lying on the ground and their partner sitting next to them. So first I need each couple to decide who is going to be leading the exercise and who is going to be the recipient.”

The crowd began to hum with conversation again as each couple decided who would play what role. Jace turned to her and lowered his voice. “You sure you’re okay with this? I know your fiancé over there kind of threw you to the wolves—or me, in this case. If it’s weird that—”

“It’s fine,” she said, probably a bit too emphatically, then shrugged in an attempt to appear casual. “I’m a big girl, Jace. I can handle a blindfold and a feather.”

His eyes darkened, an unreadable expression crossing his face. “Right.”

He left her alone for a moment, giving her a chance to catch her breath, and headed to the far side of the stage. The lights dimmed slightly and for a moment she thought they’d tripped the circuit again, but then soft music started playing and she realized Jace was setting a relaxing mood for the group.

When he returned to her, he had a chair in tow. She sat down and faced the very attentive audience. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips as a paradoxical combination of dread and anticipation came over her.

Jace circled her chair and braced his hands on the back of it, his knuckles grazing her bare shoulders. “All right, everyone, the first thing we’re going to do is establish a safe word. This is something that’s typically used in more serious sexual play, but I think it’s useful in this context as well. If your partner does anything that you are not comfortable with, you say ‘red’ and everything will stop. Understand?”

The audience members bobbed their heads, and Evan resisted the urge to bite her nails.

“This is all about establishing trust with your partner. Once you feel safe with him or her, you’ll find you’re able to let go and have more fun in the bedroom. So, let’s get started by taking out your blindfolds.” Jace bent and grabbed the little black mask from the bag next to her chair. “You want your mate to focus on the sensation of your touch, not everything else going on around them. So slip this over his or her eyes.”

Jace touched her shoulder, and Evan nearly jumped out of the chair.

“Easy, Ev. I’m just going to put this on you.” He walked around the front of her chair, blocking out her view of the audience, and leaned toward her. His hulking presence hovering over her should’ve made her more nervous, but it somehow eased her hopping nerves instead. Their eyes met for a moment, and she thought she saw worry flickering in his. But before she could examine his expression further, he slid the black material over her eyes and blotted out the view.

She took a deep breath, the loss of vision disconcerting her. Darkness was not her thing. She gripped the arms of the chair and strained her ears to get an idea of where Jace was moving. As if sensing her need, Jace laid a hand on her shoulder and squeezed, grounding her. The tightening muscles in her body loosened.

His voice was soothing when he spoke again. “Now, the only rule is that you can’t touch the person anywhere overtly sexual—arms, legs, head, and face are all in play. Start with soft, easy touches above the neck. Like this.”

Jace’s hand left her shoulder and soon gentle fingertips threaded in her hair and moved in a circular motion against her scalp. A hard shudder of pleasure went through her, and she had to work hard to hold in a sigh.

“Feel free to use your hands or the feather we provided. The person receiving the touch shouldn’t speak unless it’s to use the safe word.”

Evan could hear the shuffling in the room as people adjusted and started the exercise, but all her focus remained on the lovely pressure of Jace’s fingers against her skull.

“Mmm,” she murmured low enough so no one but Jace would hear. “You missed your calling as a salon shampoo girl.”

“I didn’t say you could speak,” he said, his voice low, commanding.

The authority in his tone sent an odd zing through her. Whoa. She shifted in her seat, feeling warmer than she had a second before. She nodded, not sure if an apology would break the no-speaking rule as well.

His fingers halted as if he’d been surprised by something. Breath tickled her ear. “Sorry, Ev. That just slipped out. You can talk if you want.”

She shook her head. “It’s okay. I’ll follow the rules you set for the activity. I can take direction.”

She couldn’t tell if the noise he made was an under-the-breath groan or a grunt of approval, but he returned to the exercise. His fingertips slid down the side of her neck and marked a whisper-light path across her throat that had her holding her breath and squeezing her eyes shut beneath the blindfold. Without consciously deciding to do so, she tilted her head back, giving him better access.

He traced over the line of her collarbone, ever so softly, but so damn effective. It was as if each brush of skin pressed a button on her circuit board, lighting up places that had long gone dim. Delicate threads of warmth traveled down from the press of his fingers to the curve of her breasts, settling right into her quickly hardening nipples.

Dark thoughts of Jace moving his hands lower, slipping beneath the neckline of her dress and cupping her breasts in front of all these people had liquid heat gathering between her thighs. His touch would be firm, confident. He wouldn’t even care that others were watching. He’d just touch her however he pleased. And she’d let him.

She bit her lip. Stop. This is Jace.

She crossed her legs more tightly together.

Even if she could forgive him for how he’d treated her all those years ago, she definitely could never risk being around him again. Not as a friend, and certainly not as anything more. When he’d pushed her away, her entire existence had folded in on itself. Not before or since had she ever fallen for anyone that hard—let a person’s place in her world define if life was worth living or not. It had been stupid. And dangerous. She’d spiraled into the pit of her depression so fast, she’d gotten whiplash.

She knew she wasn’t that bad off anymore. She had taken steps to work with those damaged parts of her makeup. But she also knew Jace being near was like setting heroin in front of a recovering addict. She needed to run in the other direction.

Now if she could just convince her hormones of that.

Jace’s voice broke through the quiet of the room. “If you feel comfortable doing so, you can use the silk scarf to bind your partner’s hands above their head, so they can experience letting go of even more control. Then, you can move to touching the lower half. Keep the touch light and easy.”

Evan could see a bit of movement through the shadow of the mask, and a warm hand grasped her wrist. “Evan, sit up straighter. I’m going to bind your hands behind the chair.”

“Yes, si— I mean, sure.”

Sir? Where the hell had that come from? It’d slipped off her tongue like it was the most natural thing in the world to call him. Must’ve been that authoritative tone he kept using with her. Man, she needed more sleep. She was getting loopy.

Jace made quick work of securing her hands behind the chair. The binding was loose, but the effect potent nonetheless. Her heartbeat picked up speed. She’d never considered herself a control freak, but she’d also learned very early on not to trust anyone but herself. She wet her lips, reminding herself that they were in front of an audience. That this was completely harmless.

A warm palm ran along the back of her calf as Jace lifted her leg from the crossed position and set her foot on the floor. Goose bumps prickled her skin. Okay, maybe not completely harmless. Her libido was under a full-frontal assault.

She could picture him there, kneeling in front of her, knowing he could do whatever he wanted because her hands were tied. He could nudge her knees apart, slide her dress up her thighs, and run his tongue along the outside of her already damp panties. She sucked in a ragged breath. Shit. She needed to stop the fantasy reel before she started panting.

A new vibrator was definitely coming home with her tonight. Depriving herself this long had her on the verge of doing something stupid, like whispering to Jace to meet her in the maid’s closet after the workshop.

And making that kind of mistake would ruin everything she’d worked for.

Not. An. Option.

* * *

Jace was going to fucking lose it. He hadn’t planned for this exercise to go on very long, but there was no way he could turn around and face the audience at the moment. Evan’s lightning-quick physical responses and eagerness to follow instruction had his cock swelling painfully against the zipper of his dress pants.

She’d almost called him sir for the love of God. What was she trying to do? Kill him?

He’d known immediately that doing this exercise with her would be tough, but he thought it’d be because of the old guilt of knowing what had happened the last time he’d really touched her. But hell, he couldn’t even spell the word guilt if he tried at the moment.

All he could think about was how tempting those hard little nipples looked pressed up against the pale blue cotton of her dress. How silky the skin of her legs felt against his hands as he slowly drew his fingers up and down her calves. And how fucking hot she looked blindfolded and bound for him.

No. Not for him. She was someone else’s. He needed to keep that at the forefront of his mind. Shit. He closed his eyes and tried to block out what was happening—focus on something else. War. Sick puppies. Female bodybuilders. Anything that would get the blood flowing back to his brain and out of his throbbing dick.

Because he could not tread in this territory. This was Evangeline—not some chick he could haul off to his hotel room, fuck, and leave. And beyond that, he didn’t mess with other people’s women—not without permission. He’d been on the receiving end of that equation before and refused to inflict that on someone else.

He moved his hands to her knees, hoping those wouldn’t be as tempting as the soft flesh on her legs. But when he grasped them, he felt the little give of her thighs, the slight parting, and he had to bite back a deep groan.

He tried to picture Evan the very first time he’d met her when she was all bones and wide eyes—eyes way too jaded for a fifteen-year-old. But the image wouldn’t appear. All he could think about was the gorgeous woman who sat before him. A woman who probably hated him, who couldn’t even bear to have lunch with him.

He swallowed hard and, using his thumbs, drew tiny circles on the sides of her knees. Counting the rotations as he went, praying it would refocus him. Evan adjusted in her seat a bit and her knees parted enough for him to glimpse the lacey white panties underneath. And holy shit—the view was only half the torture. The sweet, hot scent of female arousal wrapped around Jace like a fist.

He sucked in a sharp breath, and his grip tightened on her. Get up, moron! End the exercise. But instead of listening to the shouting voice of reason in his head, he found his hands inching higher, brushing the tops and insides of her lower thighs, careful not to hit the jellyfish stings. Her legs quivered beneath his touch.

“Oh, God.” The words were so quiet, so full of . . . need, he’d thought for a minute he’d only imagined he’d heard them. But when he looked at her face and the way her teeth were biting into her full bottom lip, he knew she’d said them.

Every nerve in his body seemed to electrify. Christ.

However, before he could figure out how to respond, the lights flickered and blinked out, blanketing the room in darkness. A few sounds of surprise came from the audience behind him.

“What happened?” Evan asked, stiffening beneath his touch, her voice higher than normal.

Before Jace could answer her, Dr. Dan’s voice rang out through the pitch-black space. “Just stay put, everybody. Nothing to worry about. I’ll go tell them to flip the circuit breaker, and we’ll be up and running again in a minute. Relax and stay where you are for now. Don’t want anyone tripping over anyone else.”

Jace started to pull away from Evan, but the sound of her quickening breath gave him pause. “You okay, Ev?”

“Can you see enough to untie me? I . . . It’s hot in here, and I’m feeling kind of . . . claustrophobic.”

“Oh, yeah, no problem.” He hopped to his feet, thankful for the lack of light. Otherwise the audience would see just how effective the exercise had been for him. Reigniting the flame was an understatement; he could set off a fucking forest fire right now.

Carefully, he moved around the back of the chair and felt around until he found her wrists. He hadn’t tied her tightly, so it only took a second to loosen the bindings. Once she was freed, he heard her rustling around—probably taking off the blindfold. He wondered if Evan still had a fear of the dark like she’d had when she was a teenager. His fingers flexed, wanting to reach out and touch her again, make sure she was okay, but he held back.

“Ev, stay in the chair, okay? I don’t want you to fall off the stage.”

No response came.

A few seconds later, the bank of overhead lights flickered back on, and he shielded his eyes from the sudden brightness. He blinked, letting his vision adjust, and found the chair in front of him empty. He looked around the room.

The back exit door was clicking shut, and Evan was nowhere to be found.

Awesome. He’d stepped over the line again, and she’d done exactly what she’d done the last time.

Bailed.

God, he was a jackass.