Читать книгу What Not to Do If You Turn Invisible - Ross Welford, Ross Welford - Страница 26

‘Emergency. Which service do you require?’

‘Ambulance, please,’ I say with a trembling voice. I have never made an emergency call before. It’s pretty nerve-racking, I can tell you.

‘Putting you through now.’

And I wait.

‘North Tyneside Ambulance Service. Can I get your name and number, please?’

It’s a young Geordie woman on the other end. She sounds nice and I relax a bit.

‘It’s Ethel Leatherhead. 07877 654 344.’

‘Thank you. What is the nature of your emergency, please?’

I should have learned my lesson from when I told Gram. It sounded ridiculous when I told her. It’s not going to sound any less ridiculous when I tell an emergency services operator that I have become invisible.

‘I … I can’t really say. I just need an ambulance urgently.’

‘I’m sorry, erm … Ethel, is it? I do need to know the nature of the emergency before I can send an ambulance.’

‘I can’t tell you. It’s just … really urgent, OK? I’m in serious trouble.’

The operator still sounds nice. She’s being gentle.

‘Listen, pet, I cannit help you unless you tell me what’s wrong. Are you calling from home?’

‘Yes.’

‘And are you injured?’

‘Well … not exactly injured, it’s just …’

‘OK, flower. Calm down. Are you in pain?’

‘No.’

‘And are you or anyone else in immediate danger of pain or injury?’

I give a little sigh. ‘No. Only—’

‘And is there anyone else there with you? Are you bein’ threatened in any way?’

‘No.’ I know where this is going.

‘Well, there is another number to call for non-emergency medical assistance, Ethel. Have you got a pen there, love?’

I am close to tears now, and if I was thinking straight I would foresee the consequences of blurting out to her as I do, but, well, I’m not exactly level-headed right now.

‘I’ve become invisible, and I’m really scared, and I need an ambulance now!’

That’s when the operator’s tone changes from reassuring and gentle to weary and tense.

‘You’ve become invisible? I see. Listen, pet, I have had enough. You know these calls are recorded and traceable? I’m logging this as a nuisance call, so if you call back I’m informing the police. Now gerroff the line and make way for genuine emergencies. Invisible? You kids, honestly. You drive us up the wall!’

And with that, the call ends – along with my hopes for an easy resolution to my problem.