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There are literally hundreds, if not thousands, of books on parenting. A simple Google search will highlight “how to” guides for everything from making homemade baby food to sewing Halloween costumes with your kids to helping your high school senior write college essays. The last thing I ever thought I would do is write a book on parenting. My first book, Believing in Achieving, written over 20 years ago with Dr. Fox, was about student aspirations and the conditions in schools that affect student development. It set the stage for books that followed, including Student Voice: The Instrument of Change; Teacher Voice: Amplifying Success; Aspire High: Imagining Tomorrow’s School Today; and Principal Voice: Listen, Learn, Lead. I believed the only thing necessary to bring about significant change in school was the voices of students, teachers, and principals. Throughout the journey, however, I received constant inquiries about parent voice. Not just from parents but my colleagues at the Institute: “What about the voices of parents?” “You can’t ignore the impact of parents.” “Parents need a voice, too!”

So what took me so long? First, I never put myself in the “parenting expert” category. Second, as a former school administrator, I thought parents had too much voice already. Third (and this is a confession of sorts…), my expertise was on student voice, and while parent voice obviously has an impact on students, I considered it tangential—not necessary and not missed by anyone. My second confession: I clearly remember telling parents during my days as a teacher and principal: “I want to hear from you,” “What you think matters,” and my favorite, “Please come in anytime so we can talk.” The truth is, the last thing I wanted was an overinvolved parent in my room telling me how to teach or lead a school.

Alas, a few decades have passed, leading to my final confession: I was wrong on two accounts. Parent voice is far from tangential, and there is not too much of it. Parents deserve a voice, no matter how much has already been heard by any administrator. Parent voice has a profound impact on their children—in and outside of school.

To be clear, this book does not fit into the “how to” category of parenting. It is not, by any means, an instructional guide on being the perfect parent. It is a book designed to spur conversations between parents, educators, and, most importantly, your children in grades Prekindergarten through Grade 12. The three authors approached this book from various perspectives . . . parents, stepparents, and even grandparents. We have raised boys and girls whose ages range from 32 years old to a newborn (the grandchild!).

From the onset, I want you to understand that we are not approaching this book as parenting gurus. Being a parent is a learning adventure filled with many successes and even more challenges. Writing this book forced us to look back on the instances when we wished we had reacted differently, provided more support, or simply taken a deep breath before doing or saying anything. In the process of writing, we found ourselves not only reflecting on those moments but reflecting in the moment about how we could handle a situation differently. We hope this book does the same for other parents—that it starts you thinking and reflecting on your parenting abilities and how your voice, and the voice of your children, can play a role in successful parenting and developing and maintaining a positive relationship with school. While this book is primarily written for parents, we believe that educators can glean insights into how to better support parents and build strong home-school relationships.

I speak for both Kris and Deb (two of the best parents on the planet) when I say that we wholeheartedly believe there is no single correct way to parent. While we hope for similar outcomes for our children—that they grow up to be happy, compassionate, fulfilled individuals who contribute positively to their communities—we have different parenting styles. And each of our children have different personalities, abilities, hopes, and dreams. As we strive to do our best to support them in their own growth, we continually learn from them. For that, we are forever grateful.

Throughout this book, we use the term “parent” in the broadest sense. To us, parents include all caregivers who love and support children—stepparents, grandparents, guardians, foster parents, older siblings, family friends, and individuals in countless other roles who provide parental support. “Parenting” is an all-inclusive term for anyone who is in the role of loving and raising a child. In our professional lives, we have been fortunate to interview thousands of students, teachers, and parents. Those interviews and our experiences in schools have informed our ideas and insights related to parent voice.

As educators, the three of us have worked in schools for a combined total of almost a century. During that time, in our various roles—as teachers, administrators, community advocates, school volunteers, and school board members—we have partnered with countless parents in one way or another. We know that successful partnerships do not magically occur. Parents, children, and educators must work collaboratively to consciously develop trusting and meaningful relationships for the benefit of the students. Our school-based efforts and research at the Quaglia Institute focus on developing Voice: Voice for students, teachers, principals, and now parents. We believe that voice is a powerful resource. When used productively, voice leads to trust and respect within relationships, a sense of responsibility, authentic learning, and ultimately the confidence to pursue one’s hopes and dreams. In previous work, I developed a School Voice Model that involves a process known as Listen, Learn, and Lead. This book introduces readers to the importance of each component and includes ideas for fostering parent-child-school relationships throughout the process.

We realize that just as caregiving roles and styles can vary, parenting is a unique experience with each child. No matter how close in age or circumstances children are, each child, and the parent’s relationship with that child, is different. Regardless of the variances and variables—whether a child is an extrovert who befriends everyone or an introvert who prefers to keep a low profile, a prolific reader or a struggling math student, a student who loves formal schooling or a student who prefers alternative education—she deserves to have her voice heard. We hope Parent Voice: Being in Tune With Your Kids and Their School provides the support and inspiration parents need to ensure their voice and their children’s voices are heard, respected, and valued. I apologize it took me so long to write about it!

Dr. Russell J. Quaglia