Читать книгу Recipes for Love and Murder - Sally Andrew - Страница 8

CHAPTER THREE

So it was on the stoep with Hattie that we decided on Tannie Maria’s Love Advice and Recipe Column. The column was very popular. A lot of people from all over the Klein Karoo wrote to me. The letters I wrote back gave me the recipes for this book: recipes for love and murder. So here I am, writing a recipe book after all. Not the kind I thought I’d write, but anyway.

One thing led to another in ways I did not expect. But let me not tell the story all upside-down, I just want to give you a taste . . .

The main recipe in this book is the recipe for murder. The love recipe is more complicated, but in a funny way it came out of this murder recipe:

RECIPE FOR MURDER

1 stocky man who abuses his wife

1 small tender wife

1 medium-sized tough woman in love with the wife

1 double-barrelled shotgun

1 small Karoo town marinated in secrets

3 bottles of Klipdrift brandy

3 little ducks

1 bottle of pomegranate juice

1 handful of chilli peppers

1 mild gardener

1 fire poker

1 red-hot New Yorker

7 Seventh-day Adventists (prepared for The End of the World)

1 hard-boiled investigative journalist

1 soft amateur detective

2 cool policemen

1 lamb

1 handful of red herrings and suspects mixed together

Pinch of greed

Throw all the ingredients into a big pot and simmer slowly, stirring with a wooden spoon for a few years. Add the ducks, chillies and brandy towards the end and turn up the heat.