Читать книгу Becoming a Counselor - Samuel Gladding T., Samuel T. Gladding - Страница 25

Although I never felt particularly small growing up, I realized early in my life that I was vertically challenged (i.e., short) compared to other boys. I did not measure up to them in height. However, even in childhood I competed, which is the game that boys play regardless of age. I had some success in adolescence as an athlete, mainly in tennis, and I made above-average grades at school. I dated, and I was generally popular with my classmates because of my sense of humor. At the same time, I looked for heroes in preadolescence because I realized most of the people who were leaders in the late 1950s and 1960s did not look like me. They were primarily tall, rugged, and handsome. Think John Wayne on one end of the spectrum and John F. Kennedy on the other.

Whether it was luck or just plain serendipity, I found my hero one Sunday afternoon as I watched a 1930s Judge Hardy movie with my family. The two prominent actors in the film were Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland. I knew nothing about them. What I did notice was that they were attractive young people and Mickey Rooney did some cool things in the movie as the son of Judge Hardy, a wise older man. In addition, Judy Garland seemed to really like him. She was pretty, perky, and his girlfriend. So how could I lose if I acted like Mickey Rooney? My father was not a white-haired judge. I could only pretend he was. Likewise, my family was not as cool as what I saw on the screen before me, but I could imagine. Thus, much of what I later did in high school and even early in college was based on the model of a fictitious family and environment.

Years later I read about the tumultuous and tragic lives of Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland and wondered to myself how I could have formulated part of my identity based partially on who they portrayed. At the same time, I realized that it was the character roles in the Judge Hardy movies to which I was aspiring. I identified with a short-statured adolescent, Andy, who was played by Mickey Rooney. Likewise, in youth I looked at Judy Garland as Polly and saw the positives she personified. I then tried to date girls who had those characteristics. I was fortunate not to have too much information too soon. Otherwise I might have become cynical, morose, and lost.

It is the same with our clients. They need to develop at their own pace, not ours. They need role models and may find them serendipitously and in places where we might never have imagined. Not knowing may keep them going and on track to discovering aspects of themselves they would otherwise miss.