Читать книгу Ready to Heal: Breaking Free of Addictive Relationships - Sarah Elisabeth Boggs - Страница 8

Maria learned to get attention at a young age by being flirtatious and sexual. She had a series of intense relationships in adolescence and college. In her first marriage, however, she lost desire for her husband. Each attempt she made to re-create the initial intensity she felt for him failed. She grew depressed and fearful. Maria had difficulty finding help because she didn’t understand her behavior, and the professional community didn’t offer her much clarity. One therapist pushed her to be sexual with her husband, but when she tried, she felt repulsed. She internalized that the problem must be her. When Maria came to see me for therapy, she described her romantic patterns in the following way.

“I was convinced that being myself would never get me love and attention, so I became desperate and did everything I could to be whatever anyone wanted me to be. I could be sexy, strong, sweet, or mean. The more attention I got from guys, the more I wanted. But when I got it, I didn’t trust it. So I craved more reassurance and grew more needy. I pushed away the very thing I needed and I didn’t know how to stop. I felt lost and hopeless. That’s when I met my husband.”