Читать книгу Snowbound Seduction: A Night of No Return / To Claim His Heir by Christmas / I'll Be Yours for Christmas - Sarah Morgan, Samantha Hunter - Страница 11
ОглавлениеHE WATCHED as the colour deepened in her cheeks. On one level she fascinated him because everything about her was fresh and unexpected. Or perhaps it was just that he was jaded and cynical. Too jaded and cynical for someone like her. If circumstances had been different then perhaps, just perhaps, the conversation they were about to have would also have been different. But he couldn’t change the way he felt. Or rather, the way he didn’t feel.
If he hadn’t already regretted the madness that had driven him to take what she’d offered in the dark of the night then he regretted it now because it was all too easy to guess how she was feeling. It was written all over her face.
For her, it hadn’t been about living in the moment. It had been significant. And if there was one thing he didn’t look for in a relationship, it was significance. He was quite possibly the worst man she could have found herself trapped with in a snowstorm. And perhaps she knew that because right now she wasn’t looking at him. All he could see was her profile. The curve of her cheeks, slightly pinker than usual, the swoop of those dark eyelashes as she focused her gaze on the snowy landscape that isolated them as effectively as any moat.
It was up to him to unravel the mess.
‘Emma?’ He kept his voice neutral, knowing that the way he played the next few minutes was crucial. He didn’t want her to misinterpret what had happened between them. He didn’t want her yearning for something that wasn’t going to happen. Most of all he didn’t want her ending her relationship over it, even if that relationship seemed pathetically lacking to him. ‘Emma?’ He repeated her name more firmly and this time she turned, her expression confused.
‘I don’t really understand your question.’
Which left him with no choice but to take over both sides of the conversation. ‘Jamie. You’ve been with him for two years so it must be serious.’
She was eyeing him as if he were an alien. ‘I think there’s been a bit of a misunderstanding,’ she said slowly and Lucas frowned because he knew there was no ‘misunderstanding’.
He was plain-speaking to the point of blunt and he saw no reason to modify that trait now. Determined to extract the truth, he took her face in his hands, feeling the soft skin of her cheeks against his rough palms, noticing for the first time the flecks of green in her brown eyes.
‘He’s obviously someone who means a lot to you if you’ve been together for two years.’ He heard the cynicism in his own voice and thought bitterly that he had to stop judging other people’s relationships. What did he know about sustaining a long-term partnership? About as much as he knew about love. Which was precious little. His hands dropped to his sides.
Someone like him shouldn’t be touching her. He shouldn’t have touched her the night before and he shouldn’t be touching her now.
It was wrong on every level.
She was looking at him steadily. ‘I’ve been with him longer than two years. Jamie and I have been together for nine years. Which is basically the whole time he’s been alive. Jamie is my little brother. His current obsession is Star Wars Lego.’
It took a moment for those words to sink in.
Brother? Brother?
‘Lucas?’ She was still watching him. Carefully, as if his every reaction was a mystery to her. ‘I don’t know where you got the idea Jamie was my—I don’t know—significant other. You were the one who mentioned him earlier, so I assumed you knew who he was. It didn’t occur to me that I needed to explain.’
‘I heard you on the phone to him and—’ Lucas breathed deeply and dragged his hand over the back of his neck as he confronted the depth of his error. ‘Your brother?’
‘Yes.’
‘How can you have a brother who is nine years old?’
There was a hint of humour in her eyes. ‘I think you can probably work that out for yourself.’
‘But you’re—’
‘Twenty-four. And he’s a lot younger than me. Welcome to the world of complicated families.’ She shrugged. ‘Jamie lives with my sister and me. Or rather, he lives with my sister and I join them at weekends and holidays.’
‘But you live in London.’
‘During the week. On Friday nights I drive to them and take over so that Angie—that’s my sister—can have some time to herself. We’re sort of sharing the parenting. I suppose you could say I’m the main breadwinner.’
And with that simple statement it all fell into place.
Suddenly he understood her rule that she wouldn’t work on a Friday and never at a weekend. He realised how much he’d assumed and just how wrong he’d been. ‘I thought you kept your weekends free because you were having a wild social life.’
‘You must be confusing me with Tara,’ she said lightly. ‘I’m a normal person, with a normal person’s life. A life that I happen to like very much. But I confess it isn’t full of parties. It’s a pretty routine existence.’
Lucas was stunned. ‘Caring for your little brother isn’t exactly a routine existence. It’s an enormous sacrifice on your part.’
Her gaze cooled. ‘It’s not a sacrifice at all. I consider myself very lucky to have such a lovely family. I just wish we could live in the same place all the time. It’s pretty lonely for me during the week stuck in London by myself.’
‘I’ve offended you and I apologise; it’s just that I thought—’ He broke off, reminding himself that his own thoughts were irrelevant. His life experience was irrelevant too. He came from a background where family ties were seen as something to be cut with a sharp blade. ‘Never mind what I thought. So if you’re lonely, why can’t you live in the same place as them? Why London? Enlighten me.’
‘We can’t afford a big enough place in London, and I can’t afford to work out of London because the pay isn’t good enough, so this is our compromise.’ She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. ‘Angie is a teaching assistant, which means she can be there for after-school care and holidays when I’m not around. It works well. Or at least, it did.’
‘You mean until you got snowed in because your selfish boss kept you late at the office.’
‘That wasn’t really what I meant, no. Lately it’s been—’ She broke off and smiled. ‘Never mind. None of that is relevant.’
Lucas cursed softly and paced back to the fireplace. ‘Why the hell didn’t you tell me? I had no idea you had responsibility for your brother. I’m not such a monster that I would have kept you that late in the office every night if you’d explained.’
‘There was nothing to explain. You pay me to do a job, and you pay me well. You have a right to expect the job done well. And I don’t need to leave early during the week. I rent a room in an area of south London that couldn’t exactly be described as a hub of activity. There’s not a lot to go back to and anyway, I love my job.’
He dimly remembered her saying that to him the night before. ‘Where exactly do you live?’
When she told him, Lucas didn’t even bother trying to hide how appalled he was. ‘If I’d known that I never would have let you work until two in the morning.’
‘You always arranged for me to have a lift home so it was never a problem.’
‘You still had to walk from the car to your house.’ And the thought of her doing that horrified him. She could have been mugged. Or worse.
‘You’re overreacting. More often than not the driver would wait until I put my key in the door, but honestly, Lucas, I was fine.’
He looked at her cheeks, pale as chalk, and knew she wasn’t fine now.
And not because of some random mugger who had attacked her in the street, but because of him. And he was about to make it a thousand times worse. He wasn’t about to offer up soft words and promises of happy ever afters. He wasn’t about to give her anything except a major dollop of pain.
What they’d shared was the sexual equivalent of a hit-and-run.
‘We have to talk about last night.’ His voice was rougher than he intended and she looked as uncomfortable as if he’d just suggested she strip naked and pose for him.
And she’d already done that.
He had a vivid image of her body, creamy skin warmed by the firelight, her curves both a sensual invitation and a balm to a man seeking oblivion.
He no longer had to wonder what she looked like under her ultra conservative clothing. He knew. And he had to wipe it from his mind.
‘Honestly, I’d rather not.’ Her hands were clasped in front of her, her knuckles white. ‘Just tell me whether you want me to hand write the letter now or type it up and email it to you.’
Lucas dragged his mind away from thoughts that could only be described as shocking. ‘What letter?’
‘My letter of resignation. Or I suppose you could lend me a computer and I can just type it here if you like.’
‘Resignation?’ It was the last thing he’d expected her to say. ‘What are you talking about? Why would you resign?’
‘Er...because that’s the only option?’
‘Well, it’s not an option that works for me,’ Lucas thundered, the sudden rush of anger surprising him almost as much as her unexpected proposal. His emotions were all over the place and that shocked him too because he wasn’t used to having to struggle for control. Usually it wasn’t concealing emotion that was his problem, it was expressing it. ‘I don’t know why you would even suggest it when you’ve just spent five minutes telling me how much you love your job and how much you need the money. You’re not resigning and that’s final.’
Her eyes widened. ‘That’s my decision.’
‘Well, you’re making the decision for the wrong reasons so I’m not accepting it.’
‘You honestly think we can still work together after last night?’
‘Yes. Because last night was a one-off and is never going to happen again.’ He knew from experience that it was better to spell it out but if he’d expected her to wilt then again she surprised him.
‘I know that. But knowing that doesn’t make it any easier to work together. It would be horribly, hideously awkward. It’s already horribly, hideously awkward and since you obviously prefer to be blunt about the whole thing, I’ll be blunt too. I cannot believe I had sex with my boss. I cannot believe I was so unprofessional.’ She fiddled with the edge of her sweater and then turned away from him but Lucas wasn’t having that.
‘Why are you blaming yourself?’ He closed his hands around her shoulders and spun her round to face him, forcing her to look at him. ‘What happened last night was my responsibility, not yours.’
‘That isn’t true. You didn’t know what you were doing.’ She looked pale and tired and suddenly he remembered the nightmare drive she’d had to reach him the night before. That alone must have been exhausting. And then there had been everything that had happened afterwards.
He gave a humourless laugh. ‘Emma, I knew exactly what I was doing.’ Escaping. Taking ruthless advantage of a decent young woman who ordinarily wouldn’t have found herself anywhere near a man as damaged as him.
‘It was my fault. You were out of your mind with grief,’ she said softly. ‘I handled it badly.’
‘No, you didn’t.’
‘You told me to go away. Over and over again you told me to go. And did I listen? No, of course not.’ Her tone was loaded with self-recrimination. ‘It was so arrogant of me to think I could help. Stupid. There was nothing that could have helped, I see that now.’
‘You did help.’ And that had come as a surprise. For those moments in front of the flickering fire, the pain had eased. But at what cost? Guilt gnawed at him. ‘I owe you an apology.’
‘For what?’
‘I used you.’ His brutal honesty made her flinch.
‘That isn’t the way I see it.’
‘Well, it’s the way it was.’ He refused to gild the truth and when she tried to pull away he tightened his grip, refusing to let her duck the subject. With that in mind he asked the question that had been playing on his mind since waking. ‘I was rough. Did I hurt you?’
‘No! You were amazing. The whole thing was incredible. To be wanted like that and—oh God, I can’t believe I just said that—’ She covered her face with her hands, her moan muffled. ‘Please, just shoot me right now. Shoot me and end this. This has to be the single most embarrassing moment of my life. Please—if you’re a nice man you’ll accept my resignation and then I’ll never have to face you again.’
There was something so hopelessly endearing about her that had the situation not been so serious, he would have smiled. ‘I’m not a nice man and you’ll be facing me on a daily basis, so you might as well get used to it.’ He tugged her hands away from her face. ‘And because I’m not a nice man I’m going to embarrass you even more by asking when you last had sex with someone.’
‘That is such a personal question—’ And then she caught the ironic lift of his eyebrow and turned vivid scarlet. ‘You’re thinking that we’ve already made this personal—’
‘Just a little.’ He made a concerted effort to delete thoughts of the way her lithe, naked body had felt under his. ‘So when?’
‘I don’t know. It’s been a while.’
Which confirmed all his worst fears. ‘Why?’
‘Meeting people isn’t as easy as it looks in the movies. During the week I only meet people at work and I don’t want to have a relationship with someone I work with—’ she caught his eye and turned fiery red ‘—and before I took the job with you...well, there was someone actually,’ she admitted reluctantly, ‘but it didn’t work out and that’s probably a good thing because although I thought I was in love with him, it turned out I wasn’t.’
Love.
Hearing the word was enough to make him release her but she looked so miserable that he felt the need to lighten the atmosphere. ‘So let me guess—you met this loser at school and when he fumbled under your skirt you hit him with your pencil case and after that he could never father children.’ He was rewarded by a gurgle of laughter.
‘Close.’
‘It was a school bag and not a pencil case?’ Tara would have been bitching about how tired she was, he thought. He would have been treated to sulks and moods, not a sweet smile. And never in a million years would Tara have let him see her without make-up.
‘It was a little more mundane than that. And it wasn’t at school. I didn’t have time for boys when I was at school.’ Avoiding his gaze, she turned back to the window, staring down at the acres of parkland and woodland that wrapped itself around the castle. ‘I was fourteen when Mum got pregnant. When other girls were discovering make-up and dating, I was helping with a baby.’
‘Why? Where was your mother?’
‘She died.’ Slowly, she turned her head, her eyes uncertain as she looked at him. ‘This is way too much information. Do you honestly want to hear it?’
‘Yes.’ Lucas surprised himself by saying that. ‘All of it.’
She gestured awkwardly. ‘It’s just that we don’t normally do the whole personal conversation thing—’
‘Well, we’re doing it now. I think we’ve already overstepped what might be considered personal boundaries and we’ve definitely passed the point of worrying about what we normally do,’ he said dryly, ‘so just talk. I want to know what happened.’
She paused. ‘Mum found out that she was pregnant, and it was...difficult. For all of us. She was a single parent. My dad left when I was a baby so it was just her and us. And then Jamie.’
‘So Jamie’s dad isn’t your father?’ Relationships, he thought. Always complicated.
‘No. And Jamie’s father...well, he wasn’t around either.’ She didn’t look at him. ‘And then, neither was my mum. Five days after the birth she had a pulmonary embolism—a blood clot that lodged in her lung. Something to do with the birth and the hospital missed it.’ She leaned her forehead against the window and stared down at the snow. ‘She died when Jamie was just days old. And that was really...hard.’ That single word encapsulated so much unspoken emotion.
He tried to imagine how that must have felt—to be fifteen and rushing home to care for a baby at a time when she was still a child herself. ‘How the hell did you manage?’
‘My grandparents moved in with us for a few years, and that was the worst time of all. When they first found out Mum was pregnant, they were horrified and they said so. Truthfully, they were vile to her.’ Her composure slipped slightly, exposing a seam of anger. ‘Then when she died they couldn’t separate how they felt from the way they reacted to Jamie. They saw Jamie as the reason she was dead and it was just horrible. It was obvious that they just saw him as a mistake and a burden. That’s why I snapped at you just now. That was exactly the word they used. “Sacrifice”. They told us that Mum had ruined everyone’s lives and if we kept Jamie we’d be throwing our lives away. They wanted us to put him up for adoption. They didn’t want him—their own flesh and blood. Can you believe that?’
Lucas felt the ache in his temples. The pressure.
Yes, he could believe that.
‘But you refused.’
‘It was a hideous time. My sister and I decided to consult a lawyer and after a long, complicated battle which I don’t intend to bore you with, we were given custody.’
‘Long and complicated?’ Another understatement, he thought, oddly disturbed by the thought of two teenage girls taking on the world in order to keep their baby brother with them.
‘We had to show we were able to care for him. Fortunately there was money from Mum’s life insurance. My sister gave up her plans to go to college and instead became a teaching assistant at a school with a crèche.’
‘And your grandparents?’
She rubbed her forehead with her fingers, her expression resigned. ‘Let’s just say it’s a tense relationship. For Jamie’s sake we wanted it to work out but life doesn’t always happen the way you want it to.’
And didn’t he know it. ‘I had no idea you had such a complicated history. You never mentioned it.’
‘Why would I mention it? My private life isn’t exactly relevant to the practise of architecture.’
‘And no doubt you’re about to tell me that this man you met, who was probably the love of your life, dumped you because you had a baby to care for?’
‘Actually I dumped him. He was putting so much pressure on me to lead my own life and didn’t seem able to understand Jamie is my life. Not my whole life, obviously, but a huge part of it. As for Edward being the love of my life—’ She broke off and shrugged. ‘For a while I thought he was, but I was wrong. I could never love someone who had such a casual attitude towards responsibility.’
‘What about since then? Are you telling me you haven’t dated?’
‘As I said, the only place I meet people is at work and I’d never date anyone from work.’ Her smile was a rueful acknowledgement of the contradiction offered by their current position. ‘Which leads me neatly back to the place we started. Lucas, you have to accept my resignation.’
‘No.’ He heard the ice in his own voice. ‘That is not going to happen. And I can’t believe you’d even suggest it.’
‘We are not going to be able to work together after this.’
‘Yes, we are.’
‘I am not going to be able to face you on a Monday morning knowing that we...that you...you’re my boss!’
‘It was just one night, Emma. Just one night.’
‘You don’t have to repeat yourself. Nor do you have to panic. I don’t want a relationship any more than you do.’
The fact that she read him so well should have reassured him, but it didn’t. ‘If you don’t want a relationship then I don’t understand the problem. We carry on as before. Nothing has changed.’
‘Except that I’ve seen you naked and you’ve seen me naked. I just think that working with you is going to be so embarrassing.’ Pink-faced, she wrapped her arms around herself and he found himself watching every movement she made, aware of her in a way he’d never been before. He’d worked with her for two years but he’d never really seen her.
Or maybe he hadn’t allowed himself to see her.
‘Then get over it. And get over it fast because I’m afraid I’m going to ask something more of you. I want you to delay the start of your holiday until at least Tuesday.’
‘What?’ Appalled, she stared at him. ‘No way! You can’t do that. I promised Jamie I’d be home. This is my holiday.’
‘You can still have your holiday, it will just start a few days later.’
‘But why? It’s not as if you need me. You’re not even in the office for the next week or so. You’re in Zubran.’
‘I need you with me.’ He’d made the decision when he’d woken and realised what lay ahead of him. And that had been another decision that hadn’t been easy to make. For personal reasons, it would have been best to send her away. For professional reasons, he needed her there.
Her mouth fell open in shock. ‘You want me to go with you to Zubran? The desert?’
‘Desert and coast. Palm trees. Sand. Sun. All those rare things you are unlikely to find here in a typical British winter. Or a typical British summer if it comes to that. No more shivering. Just for a couple of days.’ He hadn’t expected her to argue because Emma never argued with him. Usually she anticipated what he needed and provided it with smooth efficiency. ‘And although you’ll be working for most of the time, there should also be some downtime when you can chill by the pool.’ But not with me. ‘And do some reading or something. While I work.’
‘Would you mind not emphasising the whole “one-off” thing all the time. I get it, OK? You don’t have to attach a caveat to everything you say. It’s very demeaning. As if you think I’ve suddenly turned into a creepy stalker.’
‘I was just trying to tell you that as well as work, you should be able to have some time for relaxation.’ Even as he said it, he wondered if she even knew the meaning of the word. It sounded as if her life had been one long slog since her early teens. ‘The meeting is tomorrow and the launch party is on Sunday night. In between I have to fit in media interviews. I want you to coordinate those.’
‘I know about the meeting. That’s why I drove here with those papers that need your signature. And I know about the party—I’ve been talking to Avery Scott about nothing but that party for the past six months. I can recite the guest list. I can itemize the menu.’
‘Which is precisely why I need you there.’
‘You want me at the party?’ She looked puzzled and then surprised. ‘I assumed you meant that you wanted me to deal with the media and attend the meeting.’
‘That too. I had an email from the Ferrara Group this morning. They want to talk about another possible development on Sicily. They’ve found a piece of land that interests them in a different part of the island and want to talk through ideas.’
‘Yes, I get all that—’ her head throbbed at the thought of yet more work ‘—but why would you want me at the party? It’s a social event.’
‘It isn’t a social event for me; it’s an opportunity to showcase our work, talk to prospective clients and answer questions about the hotel structure and design. Attending alone isn’t an option.’
‘You were taking Tara.’
‘Tara and I are finished.’
‘Oh—I’m sorry.’
And that, he thought, encapsulated the difference between them because he wasn’t sorry. He wasn’t sorry at all. He ended relationships frequently and not once had he cared enough to be sorry.
But judging from her expression she was sorry enough for both of them, concern evident in her gaze. ‘Were you in love with her?’
‘No.’ He didn’t soften his answer. ‘And she wasn’t in love with me. I pick women who aren’t interested in love because that is something I can’t offer.’
‘Presumably you must have liked something about her, but I must admit you don’t look broken-hearted.’
‘I don’t have a heart, Emma. I’m sure you’ve heard that about me.’
‘You’re doing it again—delivering warnings, as if I need to be constantly reminded that last night was just one night. I’m going to have a T-shirt printed “I know it was just one night”. That would cause a stir in the office.’ She smiled and that smile made him catch his breath. Once again he was reminded that, although she looked delicate, she was never anything but robust.
‘I apologise,’ he murmured. ‘I won’t mention it again.’
‘Good, because I can assure you that I don’t want this to be more than one night any more than you do. I just want to get back to how things were before. I was just checking that you weren’t upset about the whole Tara thing.’
‘I’m not upset.’ Nor was he used to people caring whether he was upset. He didn’t tell her about the text he’d received from Tara, apologising, begging him to take her to the party. He didn’t tell her that after last night he wouldn’t have taken Tara if she were the last woman on earth. He didn’t tell her that in all the relationships he’d had, he’d never once been upset when they’d ended.
He didn’t tell her that there was something missing in him.
‘She’ll be disappointed not to have the opportunity to talk to all those famous people.’ In that one simple sentence she summed up Tara’s driving ambition. ‘But I still don’t see why you need me. We both know that in a room of glamorous women you’ll be alone for all of five seconds.’
‘I won’t be alone. You’ll be there.’
She shot him a look. ‘Please don’t ask me to do this. Not just because of the whole sex thing, but because my family is expecting me home. Angie has plans for tonight and Jamie needs me.’
‘I need you.’ It didn’t occur to him to compromise because when it came to work he never did. He did what was best for the business. ‘You drove here through a snowstorm last night to deliver me the papers I need so don’t tell me you don’t care about things being done well, because I know you do. It’s the reason you’re still working for me after two years.’
‘So you’re willing to take advantage of my work ethic? That isn’t fair. Jamie has his school nativity play on Wednesday. Nothing is going to stop me going.’
‘Fine. I’ll fly you home on Monday in the jet, but you’ll be exhausted because the party won’t finish until the early hours.’
‘Have you considered that this might backfire on you? The only party I’ve been to in the last few years is when our neighbours invite us in for drinks on Christmas Eve. To even call it a party is probably being over-generous. I’m not really a party person.’
‘That doesn’t matter.’
‘I will embarrass you! I can look nice, but not glamorous.’
He thought about the way she’d looked lying on the rug, her hair gleaming in the red glow from the fire, and knew she was wrong, but he didn’t want to say that to her because he knew he shouldn’t even be thinking it. ‘I’m not asking you to dance or win a fashion contest, I’m asking you to stand by my side as another representative of Jackson and Partners. It’s networking. For me the party is as much business as the meeting scheduled to take place before it. You talk to many of these people on a daily basis. People speak to you before they speak to me. It’s good for you to put faces to names and good for other people to know you. For many people you’re their first contact with my company.’
Torn by conflicting responsibilities, she gave him an exasperated look. ‘I can’t believe you’re asking me to do this. It’s unreasonable.’
Lucas didn’t relent. He told himself that if she was angry towards him that was good. Hopefully that anger would supplant other, far more dangerous, feelings and the truth was he did need her there. ‘I’ve never claimed to be reasonable.’
‘You’re supposed to be embarrassed. You’re ruthless, self-centred and uncaring.’
‘Yes.’ He didn’t waste time apologising for it, nor did he tell her anything about the events that had made him that way.
She sighed. ‘I don’t know anything about Zubran. I can barely put it on a map.’
‘What do you want to know? It’s a Sultanate. A peaceful, progressive country, mostly due to the influence of the Crown Prince. Mal is super-bright and very charismatic. Women love him and so will you, so you can relax.’
‘Mal?’
‘Short for Malik.’
‘You’re on intimate terms with a Crown Prince?’
‘We were at college together. He’ll be at the party, but you already know that because you’ve seen the guest list.’
‘All the more reason why I’m the wrong person to take! I don’t know any of these people and I will have no idea what to say to them. Please tell me he has a really friendly wife.’
‘Not yet, and that is a very sore subject so I advise you not to mention it.’
‘Why is it a sore subject? He’s divorced? He wants a wife and he can’t find someone to marry him?’
‘He’s rich, so it goes without saying that there are plenty of contenders. There was someone, but—’ Lucas broke off, knowing that there was no one less qualified to comment on relationships than him. ‘Never mind. Let’s just say that for Mal duty comes before personal choice. It comes with the territory, I believe.’
‘So he won’t marry for love?’ Her innocent question would have made him smile had the circumstances been different.
‘No. Which will probably ensure the success of the union.’
She tilted her head as she studied him. ‘When I get my T-shirt made, I’m getting you a matching one that says “Don’t tell me you love me” on it. I can tell you now that I won’t be any use at this party, not just because I’m not glamorous but because I know nothing about the politics of Zubran. What if I say the wrong thing?’
Every other woman he knew would have died before admitting to feeling out of their depth socially.
‘You won’t say the wrong thing. And if you do—’ he shrugged, fighting the desire to take her straight back to bed and lose himself again in her soft warmth ‘—I know him well enough to have you bailed from a jail cell.’
Her shoulders slumped in a gesture of defeat. ‘I’ll have to call my sister.’ Her expression suggested that wasn’t something she relished. ‘Angie has Jamie all week and she relies on me at weekends so that she can go out. She’ll be really annoyed if I tell her I can’t make it.’
‘And yet you’re the one who slogs all week to provide the money for the family—’ He caught her frown and bit off the rest of the sentence. What did he know about a functioning family? Absolutely nothing so he wasn’t in a position to offer advice or opinion. ‘Tell her you’ll be back for Wednesday with a big fat bonus. The truth is you wouldn’t have been driving there today, anyway. The roads around the castle are impassable and we are always low priority for the snowplough and the gritting lorries.’
‘Can’t you get them cleared?’ Her innocent faith in the breadth of his power and influence almost made him smile.
‘I can have the estate cleared, but there are five miles of country lanes between us and the main road. I can work miracles, but local government bureaucracy requires more than that.’
‘So if we’re snowed in, how do you propose getting us to Zubran?’
‘We’re flying. We’ll take the helicopter to the airport and then the private jet.’ Relying on a well developed instinct that told him exactly when to push and when to retreat, Lucas strode towards the stairs without giving her the opportunity to argue further. ‘Call your sister and then meet me downstairs in the kitchen. I’ll make us breakfast.’
‘Fine, I’ll ring,’ she muttered, ‘but she’s going to kill me. As long as you don’t mind having that on your conscience.’
Lucas chose not to remind her that he didn’t have a conscience.
* * *
It was a difficult phone call, not least because for the first time in her life she wasn’t being honest with her sister.
‘You stayed overnight with your boss? Are you crazy? Haven’t you listened to a single word I’ve said to you over the years?’ Angela’s tone was sharp and Emma felt colour flood into her cheeks as she contemplated her sister’s reaction if she were to find out the truth.
‘I didn’t have any choice. Have you looked out of the window? It’s like the Arctic. The roads here are impassable.’ There was no point in trying to explain that she’d been worried about her boss. That concern and care had kept her here long after she should have left. There was no way Angela would understand that. Nor was she going to understand the next part of the conversation. Bracing herself, Emma tightened her grip on the phone. ‘Angie, do you remember the project I told you about? The Zubran Ferrara Resort that is opening next week?’
‘Of course. It’s all over the news. They’re calling it an iconic structure and your boss is apparently a progressive genius much loved by eco nuts everywhere. They’re missing out the fact that he cares more about buildings than people. Remember that, Emma.’ Her sister’s tone was sharp. ‘The man is a heartless womanizer, incapable of sustaining a relationship.’
Not incapable. Unwilling. He’d been hurt so badly he didn’t want to risk it again.
And he was obviously concerned that she was about to declare undying love. That she might start spinning one night into a lifetime.
Her sister was still talking. ‘So what time do you think you’ll be home?’
‘That’s why I’m phoning—’ Emma closed her eyes and blurted it out. ‘I have to fly out with him to Zubran, just for a few days,’ she added quickly, ‘and I’ll be back for Jamie’s play. I’m sorry. I know the timing is bad and there are things you’re supposed to go to, but I’ll make it up to you.’ She was prepared for it and when it came it was spectacular.
‘No! You can’t do this to me! I have the staff party tonight!’
‘I know, and I’ve already thought of that. I’m going to phone Claire and ask if she’ll come and sit with Jamie so that you can go out. Why not? She was my best friend at school and she loves Jamie and he loves her.’ Emma’s heart was pounding. She hated fighting with her sister. Hated it. ‘I’m sorry, Angie, I know it’s really inconvenient but it’s just a few days. Lucas needs me.’
‘Before last night you were coming home for the whole week. And now, suddenly, he needs you? Just what form is this “need” taking? What the hell do you think you’re doing, Emma?’
‘My job. I’m doing my job.’
‘Really? You’re sure this is just about work?’
‘Of course.’ She couldn’t allow herself to think it could be anything else. ‘I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong.’
‘Lucas Jackson is rich, good-looking and single. Are you seriously telling me you haven’t ever looked at him like that?’
‘He’s my boss.’ And he hadn’t always been single, had he? There had been a woman who had meant something to him and they’d had a child together. A child they’d lost. His aversion to commitment wasn’t the attitude of a mindless playboy, but a man who had shut himself off from emotion. Realising that her sister was waiting for her response, Emma forced herself to stop speculating. He’d made it clear that he didn’t want to talk about it, so that was the end of that. ‘Stop worrying about me. I’m sorry about the weekend, but it can’t be helped.’
‘No, of course it can’t. You absolutely have to go to this urgent and very glamorous party while I’m stuck with Jamie.’
‘Don’t say that!’ This time it was Emma who raised her voice. ‘Do not say that you’re “stuck with him”. He might hear you and it would upset him so much. I know you don’t mean that.’
‘Maybe I do mean that. It’s all right for you—you’re living this amazing life in London and I’m stuck at home with a child who isn’t even mine.’
Used to her sister’s outbursts, Emma took a deep breath and tried again to work out if there was any way she could have Jamie living with her in London. The economics just didn’t work. Her job paid well but it was demanding and required her to spend long hours at the office. And on top of that she wouldn’t have wanted Jamie living in her area.
‘We’ll talk about this when I’m home. And I’ll get Claire to take him so that you can go to your party tonight. And please, Angie, just go and give him a hug.’
‘He’s going through a horrible phase at the moment. I don’t feel like hugging him.’
Emma bit back a response that she knew wouldn’t be helpful in the long run. Angie loved Jamie, she knew she did, but her sister bitterly resented the impact that taking care of their brother had had on their lives. Swiftly she changed the subject. ‘Have you picked out a dress for your party tonight?’
‘I’m wearing the red one from last Christmas.’ Angela sounded marginally less angry and Emma relaxed slightly.
‘The one with the lace? You look lovely in that. I hope you meet someone gorgeous.’
‘And even if I did, we both know he’d run a mile once he discovered that I come with a permanently attached nine-year-old brother,’ Angela snapped. ‘And talking of which, I have to go and make him breakfast. And on that subject, thanks for starting a routine of making pancakes on Saturdays because now I’m going to be glued to the stove for hours.’
‘It doesn’t take hours, and it’s fun. We make them together. Jamie makes the mixture, I cook them.’
‘He makes a mess when he cooks. It doubles the work. And talking of work, I’d better go and break the news that the good sister isn’t coming home.’
‘I’m not the good sister.’ Emma thought that if Angela had seen what she’d been up to on the rug the night before, she definitely wouldn’t have used that term. ‘You’re good too. It’s just that you’re tired and disappointed that I won’t be able to take up the reins for a few days and that’s understandable.’
‘Stop being so bloody reasonable.’
Emma bit her lip. ‘I’ll be back on Tuesday. Have fun at the party tonight.’
There was a long pause and then Angela sighed. ‘I’m sorry,’ she mumbled. ‘I’m a horrible bitch.’
Yes, Emma thought, you sometimes are. ‘It’s the end of term and you’re just tired. And I promise that once I’m home you can just put your feet up and have some time to yourself.’
‘So what are you wearing to this fancy party?’
‘I’ve no idea. I suppose I’ll have to buy something.’
‘Just tell me you’re not having dreams of being Cinderella.’
Emma looked around the turret bedroom, with its four-poster bed and velvet drapes. Then she looked at the rug in front of the log fire where, for a few special hours, she’d felt like the most irresistible, desirable woman on the planet. No one’s sister, no one’s PA and no one’s stand-in mother. A woman. She closed her eyes and pushed the thought away. ‘Can I speak to Jamie?’
‘He’s in the shower. He’s going to Sam’s to play this morning. I guessed it would take you a while to get home and I didn’t want him standing by the window watching for you all morning and nagging me. From the sound of it it’s just as well I made that decision.’
Emma felt a stab of guilt but at the same time she was relieved Jamie wasn’t there to hear Angela’s tirade. ‘Tell him I love him and I’ll call him again later.’
‘If you’re not too distracted by partying. Do I need to remind you that office romances never cause anything but trouble?’
‘No, you don’t need to remind me of that.’
‘If you lose your job—’
‘I won’t lose my job.’ Emma ended the call, depressed by the encounter. She knew what was behind it. She understood why Angela behaved the way she did and she didn’t blame her for that, given everything that had happened in their family, but it was still hard to deal with.
She couldn’t think of anything worse than losing the job she had with Lucas but nor could she imagine anything more uncomfortable than spending the next few days in his company after what had happened.
What she really needed was space to sort her head out.
She needed to persuade him to let her go. How was she going to do that? What was the one thing that would make Lucas Jackson send a woman as far away from him as possible? The answer came to her almost immediately and Emma gave a tiny smile. Yes, she thought. That.
