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Preface

Sarah Beeson MBE

In our lives there are often times when we feel overwhelmed by responsibility – even when it’s something we’ve been longing for, the reality can be a bit of a shock. When I started my nursing and health visiting career, the challenges I faced and overcame influenced the rest of my life. Becoming a parent, too, can be all-consuming and you begin to question whether you can do it. After four decades devoted to better understanding the needs of children, I can honestly say that this is the best generation of parents there has ever been.

During wonderful years nursing at Hackney Hospital I discovered that my calling was to be a health visitor, and then there was no looking back. I went on to be one of the youngest health visitors in the country, working with families in Kent and then Staffordshire. I was honoured to receive the MBE from Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II for services to children and families. My health-prevention work was also recognised when I was given the Queen’s Nursing Institute Award. Life as a health visitor was hard work, inspiring, exhausting and very fulfilling. I thought I’d continue working in the community until my retirement and then settle down to a quiet life in the country.

The inspiration for putting pen to paper on the advice I shared every day with parents as a health visitor was the arrival of my own grandchild. I had been working on how best to communicate the emotional needs of children in my everyday practice since the 1970s, but I hadn’t written anything except a few articles and leaflets. At the heart of all the practical advice I was sharing was the wish to ensure parents could see how they were meeting their baby’s emotional needs, and why it is so important.

Health visiting gave me the opportunity not just to help families but to learn from them. To really make a difference you have to address the needs of the whole family, and, most importantly, to listen to their problems, concerns and worries. The first step is to build a relationship with parents and earn their trust in order to give the advice that is right for them.

If you are in the UK and have a health visitor, they may be someone you have a close relationship with or it may be that due to the rapidly declining numbers of health visitors and the service being reduced, your health visitor might not play a big part of your experience with your new baby. I know there is nothing like a one-on-one service, but I do hope this book will help parents to feel like they have access to the advice I have built up over a lifetime of practice in the community.

A good health visitor doesn’t think they know it all, no matter how long they’ve practised; when you walk into someone’s home or speak to them at clinic you’re just getting a glimpse of how things are. A health visitor has to give families both time and the opportunity to engage. Families shouldn’t fit the health visiting service – the service offered should be shaped around the needs of families, and at some point every parent needs support, someone to talk to, advice and solutions. Every parent needs that, including me.

When you offer parenting advice, it’s crucial that mums and dads don’t feel judged and that you don’t have a one-size-fits-all approach. When parents are talking to you, if you are thinking about what you are going to say next then you aren’t really listening, and the opportunity to really help them will be missed. That has always been my approach to health visiting; it’s one I learned from working with some truly exceptional nurses and health visitors right at the beginning of my career, and it has translated into the style of advice I offer to parents.

My journey from health visiting to writing started when my lovely daughter Amy Beeson became pregnant and asked me to email her advice on how to feed her baby for the first time. It was a joy to pass on all the secrets I’d learned from working with knowledgeable health professionals and dedicated parents. Amy told me she hadn’t come across my style of advice in any of the baby books she was reading. There was so much she and her friends wanted to know; could I do some more? Before I knew it, I was writing a parenting book, and Amy was editing it for me during her Little One’s nap times. Time flew by and my daughter’s year of maternity leave was over. It’s such a difficult time for so many women; few of us ever feel we’ve got the balance between all our responsibilities right. Then something life changing happened: not just one but several publishers wanted our parenting book (the book you’re reading right now). We were thrilled, and surprised they also wanted us to write my true story of nursing in Hackney (The New Arrival) and about health visiting in Kent in the 1970s (She’s Arrived!).

Amy and I waved goodbye to our steady jobs and now work together writing and meeting wonderful readers and parents. I never imagined I’d be an author but, more importantly, passing on my knowledge and experience to parents is a huge privilege – and sometimes it’s a little daunting. Focusing on why I do the job that I do is what really matters, and it’s no different today than it was all those years ago. I want a world filled with happy babies, and for mums and dads to see what a fantastic start in life they are giving their children by putting them at the centre of their lives and meeting their emotional needs as well as their practical ones.

I hope your own new arrival fills your life with joy – and thank you for letting us come on this special journey with you.

Visit www.sarahbeeson.org to find out more and download your FREE poo colour chart.