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Chapter 0: Let’s Go!

Of all the questions a person can ask, two have defined most of my life: Why? and What if?

They’ve inspired me to take things apart to figure out how they could work. And put them back together, better.

“Why does that happen?” followed by “I’ll figure it out” …until I did.

“What if XXX were possible?” followed by “I’ll mess with it to figure out how to make it possible” …until I could.

As a kid I drove adults crazy with those incessant questions. They caused me to hear every ‘no’ from someone as a challenge to find a different angle which would get me a yes. “Hmm… why not? I’ll find a different way to ask the question.”

While these questions got me into trouble in school, from elementary school through my graduate degree as I disrupted the system, they’re also the very questions which have instigated positive change for every initiative I’ve ever touched, and brought this book into your hands. More on that if you’d like in the A Bit About Me chapter, but for now, know that questions like these have fueled and been answered by this book:

• Why can you sometimes crush it and other times flop with the exact same approach?

• Why were we never taught how to really influence or lead?

• Why do four leaders try the same strategy and get four wildly different results?

• Why can’t I get through to XYZ person?

• What if we could decode the secrets to influence and inspiration?

• What if you could be consistently awesome as a leader instead of sporadically great?

• What if you knew how to motivate anyone?

• What if you could authentically choose and change your mood on demand?

If any of those questions intrigue you, you’re in the right place. So let’s get the specifics clear.

Who?

You! This book is meant for you if you’re in a position of influence with others, and suspect you could be having more consistently awesome impact than you are now. The tools here are currently used with powerful effect by the thousands of executives, entrepreneurs, managers, team leaders, trainers, parents, educators and coaches across several industries, professional, educational and athletic worlds I’ve coached in the last few decades.

So while you may have a title of “leader” right now, this is about going beyond your title to become the person they remember ten years after they’ve worked with you, as the one who made permanently positive impact on how they think, the way they make things happen, and how they define their own horizon. You’ll be the person who not only led them in their work, but unlocked possibility for them as people.¹

The Other Who?

Me. I consult, teach and coach individuals, groups and companies large and small to transform individuals into impactful influencers and groups into high performing teams. I get called in by leaders to coach them to their next level of clarity and strategic impact, help startups launch with intentional culture in place, guide organizations through disruptive change, take high-potentials to superstar performer level, and jumpstart learning or teaching where it normally flatlines. You can get my backstory on page 218.

What?

Every piece of this book is about how to unlock and expand the deep well of talent, insight and possibility within people beyond the capacity you’ve seen. Those people include every person you touch in your path as a leader every day, and you, too. Designed for you to learn quickly, apply immediately and get results from consistently, you’re holding the best core set of frameworks, tools and strategies to bring out inspired potential and performance in others and yourself. This is not another “you should” book of ideas without practical application- it’s the opposite. I’ve worked the kinks out of the theory through practical application for you over years of leading teams and coaching across industries in the corporate, nonprofit, entrepreneurial and educational worlds, and then distilled it into a book for you here. Behind it, I continuously analyze leaders of all kinds (from horrible to brilliant), learn from the best gurus² out there in personal development, study the findings of neuroscience applied to learning and performance and closely watch the nuanced impact people have on one another in a way others miss. I’ve experimented in thousands of scenarios, challenges and teams. From it all, I’ve re-engineered the best practices, deciphered the Whys behind their repeatable effect, re-contextualized concepts you may have missed before and created simple paths to layered impact… all into an approach you can learn and repeat. It has become the way great leaders lead at a greater level of impact than anyone just focused on managing ever could.

Where and When?

Well, you’re holding this book and are ultimately in control of how this goes, but know that it’s definitely a process- something that you will both work on deliberately and will work itself through for you in the background of what you do every day. Becoming the kind of leader who impacts people the way I’m proposing has multiple parts to it, so give yourself some space to connect them all. While there will be definite “Oh yeah- let’s GO!” moments for you in this book of getting a concept, trying it out right away, and noticing a difference in the response you get, others will take more marination time in your mind. Some ideas in here are uncomplicated, yet deeply layered; they might seem obvious at first, yet when you get into them you’ll realize they require some re-racking of your thinking or retraining of your responses. Some won’t connect until later, maybe when you least expect it. That’s how real-life learning happens most potently. I suggest reading the book cover-to-cover the first time and then go back in whatever order makes sense for you to really try the concepts out. You could easily take them on one at a time in sequence (they build on one another) or you could try them based on what applies in the moment for you. I love just in time learning; bringing the right tool in at exactly the moment it’s truly needed in real life, so it solves or answers something for you in real time and sticks long-term as practical learning rather than just a theoretical concept to maybe try someday. Ultimately, each chapter will become its own reference point for you, and you’ll come back to each again and again to brush up or zoom in on a particular tool for deeper or more focused application in your world. I’ve got many layers of support for you³ to take these concepts further into your practice, but let’s start with this book.

How?

I know that you’ve been to training sessions and read listicles and books that offer formulas like the ‘21 tips to becoming a better manager’ or ‘9 steps to XYZ.’ I’ve heard and seen all of those, too. This is not a series of steps to walk through, but rather a dynamic process which will be interactive. Throughout it, I’ll be creating images and scenes for you. I will give you some scripts to run in your head and even out loud in particular scenarios. I might press some internal buttons which bring up some emotions for you. I’ll definitely challenge you to try some things- like physical movements⁴ which will cement concepts into your memory more easily or tactics to go try out with real people in your world. Everyone likes to think they are unique and have a fresh approach, but I promise you, you’ll be be stretching yourself in some new ways here. I’m always surprised by how different this approach feels for folks compared to what they’re seen/heard/experienced before.

The ‘how’ is pretty important in this case. I won’t make you any promises. I can’t, because tapping your own greatness as a leader is a shift you’ll own yourself. That said, I will absolutely show you how and give you the perspective and tools I’ve honed into a straightforward approach that’s quickly impactful as you apply it. My biggest concern is always more in the what-you-do-with-it part than the theory part, but you’ll get both here. If you don’t see how you can apply these ideas or are get the results you want as you apply your learning from this book, send me an email and we’ll work through it together. Meanwhile, I’m going to bring some new layers to the way you think and new approaches to the way you assess and create impact. You’ll understand what happened, why it happened and how to either repeat its impact yourself or keep it from happening again. I’ll also give you some pretty straightforward “try this” tools for situations you’re facing now, which can be solved or inspired much faster than you’d guess. I’m a fan of more with less… why not try a single approach with which you can solve the issue without drama AND instill confidence in someon AND teach them something that will stick permanently AND energize everyone involved all at once? You can. These tools are layered in that way for multiple outcomes, steeped in brain science, personal development and accelerated learning- all of which became my passions at a very young age and I have been fortunate enough to devote my life to. But only because I knew early on that the way most people do things just wasn’t for me.

Which brings us to the most important question…

Why?

Because there’s another way. A better way.

This is not a management book, because I believe you can do way better than that. Managing implies a base level of holding it all together without things falling apart.

“He’s having trouble managing his temper.”

“That’s a lot to carry- do you think you can manage it all?”

“I’ve just got to manage my time and it’ll all get done.”

“Who’s managing this project?”

None of those are very inspired. Managing means it’s continuing to operate or run without disaster. I would hope so. Got it, and so do you. From here forward, I’m going to assume that you can already manage-keep things running by whatever means you need to. So on these pages we’re going to elevate the conversation and go way beyond that- to grow how you influence, create, inspire, impact and shape both what happens and the people in your world… how you lead.

Because you can.

I’m here to tell, show and teach you how you can have the kind of impact that unleashes awesomeness in the people around you every day… and that what it takes to do so isn’t rocket science. You’ve got a brilliant leader inside you, actually have the ability (whether you know it or not) to consistently inspire and tap the brilliant thinkers, performers, creators and team members inside those unsuspecting folks around you right now.

I push pretty hard, and insist on you asking yourself the tough questions, because I believe that the best answers are usually a few layers deep in your thinking. I will facilitate some peeling of those layers for you, because what’s in there is completely worth it. I have loved working with every leader I’ve every coached, because no two are alike, and I’ve been able to get to the heart and unlock the brilliant leader inside each one.

So… if you’re still reading this far into it, you’ve got the inclination to have impact, so that’s huge. Because, while I’ll provide the tools and process, ultimately the impact is all on you. You’re going to be the one to open up your people’s possibility, to truly tap their greatness. Are you ready?

Let’s go!

Notes:

“Either direction it steers you, it’s an important force of influence in everything you do. So pay attention to it.”