Читать книгу How to Seduce and Flirt With Someone You Love: Dating Advice for Men and Women - Scott JD Jackson - Страница 6

It does not matter how well you dress, how expensive your car is or how much money you have in the bank, if you have a negative attitude, your flirting will always fall flat.

Trying to hide a bad attitude is like slapping a fancy label on a bad bottle of wine, it looks nice, but once you open it, the truth comes out.

The same thing with a negative attitude, if you are a negative person overall, then it will come out eventually, so even if you get through a couple of dates with somebody, your true colors will show and you will be back at square one.

A negative attitude is the fastest way to have your flirting fall flat. There is nothing attractive about somebody with a negative attitude.

Do you want to be with somebody who has a negative attitude? No, of course not.

So why would you think that somebody will want to be with you if your attitude is negative?

Life can be stressful. People are looking for a partner who can help cheer them up, take away some of that stress and sadness, not add to it.

How do you know if you have a negative attitude or not?

Do people tend to react to you in a negative way, either on the defensive or just not friendly?

Do you talk about people behind their backs?

Do you assume that the worst will happen in any given situation?

Are you a gossiper? Do you constantly complain? Do you always have something negative to say and nothing positive?

Even if you only display one of those above traits, it is one too many. Finding the right person when you have a negative attitude is almost impossible, keeping them with a negative attitude is impossible.

Having a positive attitude will enable you to not only meet more people but also have them be more interested in you.

If you do have any of the above traits signal that you have a negative attitude that is probably why your flirtations have fallen flat.

A bad attitude is deal breaker to most people.

Who wants to be with somebody who never has something positive to say? The good thing about negative attitudes is that it is fairly simple to turn it into a positive attitude.

All it takes is a little bit of work in your part and of course, you must be willing to make the change.

You need to start off by being aware of your thoughts. When you find yourself just sitting, idly thinking, do you find yourself thinking positive thoughts or negative thoughts; perhaps dwelling on problems that you are having, thinking about somebody that you do not get along with, or something else that is holding negative thoughts in your mind?

The more you think positive thoughts the more positive you will be in the more people want to be around you.

Once you start identifying your negative thoughts can begin to replace them with positive thoughts. After some time it will become a habit of yours to start thinking more positively and you will find that you are having less negative thoughts.

By adopting a positive attitude you will be making yourself more attractive into will be more successful with your flirting.

Your positive attitude will attract other positive people to you.

Before you speak, take a minute and think about what you were about to say. If you are about to say something negative stop the thought before you even vocalize it and replace it with something positive.

For every negative thing you find yourself saying follow it up with two positive things. The goal is for you to break your habit of thinking speaking negatively.

Some things to watch out for:

•Complaining - Everybody complain sometimes but nobody wants to listen to somebody who does nothing but complain about everything under the sun and then some. Get out of the habit of complaining, you might think that you are just making conversation by giving your opinion but it will very quickly end a conversation. If you have a complaint about something, voice it once and then let that be it. Get yourself out of the serial complaint habit and replace the complaint with something positive instead.

•Gossiping - Gossiping is nothing more than spreading rumors and talking about people behind their backs. If you are talking about somebody in an unkind way to the person you are flirting with, they will assume that you will do the same to them as well and the date will end quickly. If you are in a group of people and they are engaging in gossip, just walk away or do not join in.

•Expect the best and not the worst - Nobody wants to hear somebody talk about how everything is sure to go wrong. If you expect things to fail, they will fail. You have got to get out of the mindset where you assume that the worst will always come true. The future is not set in stone and you have just as much of a chance of having something positive happen as something negative. It will not keep the negative things from happening, but it will make them easier to deal with when they do happen and it will make you a happier person and more fun to be around.

•Feeling sorry for yourself - Stop throwing pity parties for yourself and expect other people to join in. Life does not go smoothly for everybody; just accept that. Do not do on and on about how life is not fair to you. Everybody has their own problems; they do not want to hear about yours. If you start a date off like this, they can assume that every date will be about you, bemoaning how bad life is for you. That is not attractive.

You need to be somebody that people will want to be around or you will never get anywhere with your flirting.