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Chat One. DHL and FedEx
ОглавлениеHave Success, Create Financial Independence, Get Rich Quick - that’s some of the titles I read when I go to the local bookstore to find information on any subject of “life” improvement. All of these things are important and I will be the first one to put his hand up and say yes when the question is asked, “Do You want to be rich and Famous”? But is this subject question the most important part of your life?
What I rediscovered over the three months with Mum? Was that a lot of people have no need for Comebacks in all areas of their lives, just some! You can see many successful people are really happy about the Ferrari in the garage of the big huge house, and you can see that some sports people are so excited about being Number One in the world. You can see that some people are smiling from ear to ear that they have the most successful business on the planet, but look deep into those people and you will find some misery in parts of their lives that they would gladly give some of the precious riches to fix.
Top Golfer has steamy Affair! Corporate CEO charged with sexual assault, Leading Sportsman destroyed by gambling habit, Son of Head of Government busted for Drugs, Superstar Actor enters rehab. Have you seen these headlines? I don’t have to tell you who these people are you will remember them. Their lives have graced the pages of our newspapers and magazines showing the riches and success and all the trimmings that go with it - Million dollar cars, zillion dollar mansions but Ten Cent hearts.
It’s not just the million dollar stars and success club that suffers from a script of life that needs to be adjusted or totally rewritten. Middle class, Lower class and no class society suffers from the same script issues.
The major difference is that like the top ten percent earns the most money, they also get the most press. As we trickle down the “who has what” line, our lives can be suffering the same trauma but our press is the family, home, SMS, emails, face book and twitter!
Marriage Script failure, Boy friend, Girl Friend Script problem, Health Script, Children Script, Money Script, Business Script, Job Script, Golf Swing Script to name a few. All these scripts feature prominently in everyday lives. I only have to scroll through all my face book friends and see the scripts of their lives not running according to the Directors schedule.
On an average day in face book I see “In a Relationship with” … Next day I see “It’s Complicated”. I read entries like “Mum and Dad don’t understand me” or “ I hate my customers” - kids replying to parents with the most hated word in America two years in a row “Whatever”. I can see the flirting between friends of friends. I can see online nastiness and bitching. Face book is the Tabloid of Choice for the voicing of script problems of us, the everyday people. If you want to have some fun just spend ten minutes trolling through your own face book or twitter messages, read it with a different set of eyes and you will see the direction some of your friends are taking wrongly or rightly and maybe even for you. With over 550 Million users face book gives a solid overview of strangers, friends and family scripts that are not running in the direction they maybe should be. But let’s zero in on you.
What’s your Life script that is not running according to your Directions?
Is it the Partner that doesn’t understand you? Is it Body you’re not happy with? Is it the Kids that drive you nuts? Is it the Job you can’t stand? Is it the Business that’s not running smoothly? Is it YOU that’s just plain unhappy? To Comeback? You have to know where from.
Was it good once?
Every part of our lives we write a script and original screenplay of how we will direct it. The script may be in your head, it may be written it may just be words that you have spoken, but we have a script and people, places, circumstances may have affected that Original Script along the way - and it’s not turning out to be the Blockbuster you originally planned.
When the script for the movie Back to the Future was written and it was five weeks into filming, the Director felt it was not going to work with the actor who was playing the lead role. He changed the script, hired Michael J Fox to play the lead role, re-filmed the whole picture and the Movie grossed well over 350 million dollars and went on to make two more sequels.
When the Original Star Wars Movie was written, famous characters like Darth Vader were not as high profile. Just before filming started the Director George Lucas changed the script, made Darth Vader a pivotal character and the rest is History.
Changes in Script is not limited to movies, Joanne (J.K) Rowling who write the incredible Harry Potter series of Books was turned down by no less than 12 Publishers before she found one that took a gamble. They decided to run a small print of 1000 Copies. Harry Potter books have sold a lot more than that!! Before this happened, Joanne Rowling was broke and a single mother; her script was rewritten.
Walt Disney the father of Disneyland was told his cartoon character Mickey Mouse wouldn’t be successful as it would “Scare Women”. He was also told Disneyland was a bad business idea. Walt Disney had to change his script and Disneyland and the Movie Production Company are famous - as for Mickey Mouse? Well kids all over the world fell in love with him.
Akio Morita and Masaru Ibuka were two struggling engineers who made a rice cooker that got a terrible reputation for bad quality and a habit of burning rice. They changed their script and Sony was born.
So for you and I, just like George Lucas, Walt Disney and Joanne Rowling, when things are not running smoothly and we want to create a blockbuster or maybe even shelve a project the first step of that process, and an integral part of the Comeback is to take a look at the script we are working and living with.
What do I mean by script? Some circles call it a mission statement or Vision statement but I like to call it a script.
A script is described as: “A written version of a play or other dramatic composition; used in preparing for a performance”.
I like that description as to me our lives in whatever we do can be a performance -Drama or comedy!
Now whatever we are trying to achieve in our lives, our relationship, our health our Business or working life we have a script attached to it. As I have stated before it can be written, thought, even just spoken about. But in all cases we have set the scene for the performance and if it’s not going as planned and too many scenes are being shot without you the Director calling “CUT”, well we need to take a look at the script and possibly make some adjustment.
Now I’m writing this book so I haven’t got you laying on a couch in a comfortable office in person telling me about the highs and lows of your life performance and the good or bad scripts that are causing that. So we have to look some examples and then you can start to fill in your own Drama or Comedy Scripts and the things that want to make you scream … CUTTTTT
Let’s look at our Children? Ah bless them so wonderful and cuddly when they are born, butter would not melt in there mouths but then they grow up, walk and talk and then…Well trouble can be brewing and in my case being divorced and a long way from them both physically and emotionally for so many years it’s been rough ride to relationship heaven with my kids.
The script I had written in my head for my relationship with my own children was pretty well based on the old tried and true method of parenting that being, “I’m your dad so by virtue of my parent rights you will love and respect from the time your born till the time I die and that settles that”! How wrong could a guy be?
The children on the other hand had an even better script and that was “You terrible man you abandoned us when we small, you cheated on our mother, you never came to see us, you had so many girlfriends and you even forgot our birthdays and Christmas, so what do you care or know about being a dad”!
Wow, big difference in scripts, can you see that? So for years I had been running around thinking “that’s my script” and could not understand why I could not communicate with my children, why they didn’t want to speak to me, why they were not excited to see me. Well it just made no sense at all! As for my kids they would have an instant huge wall set up on any occasion we would see each other, as that is what their script performance demanded. Can you see the problem yet?
Problems with Performance as a Parent? Take a look at the Script, ditto with your Kids.
Brothers and Sisters can also be Interesting performances.
When I arrived back from living overseas for so many years, one of the first shocks to my system was that there was nobody to meet me at the Airport. I couldn’t understand it, in all the years of living overseas especially China each and every flight I would be on there would be a cast of many people waiting for me when I landed. Chinese Family and friends all excited, they would do the traditional Chinese thing and take all my bags off of me, offer me a cigarette and then proudly take me home or to a hotel. There would always be a special dinner that they would pay for at some wonderful hotel the night of my arrival. And Now at Melbourne Airport I’m alone fighting with Taxi drivers!
You see what my script was? I was the Brother who “believed” he was important and should be treated as such. My good old Australian way had a new script written with ‘Chinese subtitles” and I expected to be treated that way.
I sat around for days expecting to be picked up, barbecues to be held in my honour and why am I paying for my Hotel room? Where is the respect from my brother and sister that my part demands? The calls never came and I ate a lot of KFC and McDonalds.
Let’s take a look at the script my Brother and Sister had. “Oh that Brother” the one with the Chinese Attitude that the whole family world owes him favour, the one that called every so often, the one that hasn’t been around to help with Mum and dad, the one that never even came back to mow the lawns or take Mum shopping - oh he’s in town we will see him “Whenever”.
That’s a bit of a clash of scripts huh?
If I look through all the roles and even activities of my life? I will find a script that did not or does not match the script that would give me the chance to have a leading role in a Comeback. Even when it came to my Golf, my script for the driver went something like “Oh No if I use that thing the ball will go 50 Meters straight then 150 Metres to the right! And for that reason I left the driver in the bag and used a three Iron.
Business, family, all of our roles in life have a script, some great, some not so great. The great we can leave alone but for the not so great it is time to call CUT.
I could ask you now to take a good look at yourself and write down every role in your life and the scripts that you have written or thought for them, but I have found that all mountains are climbed one step at a time so let’s conquer your mountain with that method.
Before we get to write our current script I have to let you into a little secret, humans are really good at telling lies to themselves! I know you’re shocked but it happens when we are posed that question: “Now be totally honest with yourself”!
We tend to be driven by DHL (Not the delivery Company) I call it the Department of Human Lying! Now your DHL sits in the front of our brain so it’s located in a shallow place that really doesn’t make much progress in YOU development. A Typical DHL Script looks like this:
Comeback Role: Father
DHL Script for that Role:
I didn’t leave my kids I left their Mum, I send them Money every month, I call them for birthdays and Christmas, and they are older now they don’t need me as much. The older they get the more they will understand the situation and want to see me more, plenty of time.
Where we really want to get to is our FedEx, (Feelings, Emotions, Desires, Experiance Xcuses) to deliver our current script, so where is the FedEx part of our brain?
Well it’s the part that is deep deep back hiding in the shadows. It’s the part we have trouble visiting and exploring, as it is the action centre. When we start to get to this back section and we start to make moves our FedEx becomes like the real FedEx and “we live to deliver”.
I have found a good way to reach my FedEx, let me share it with you. First thing is I write my DHL version script for the Comeback Role I’m searching for in my life which is driven in most cases by what I feel I have to write, then I close my eyes and I let my imagination take over. I imagine I’m walking down the street and all of a sudden I get a tap on the shoulder and it’s a guy dressed in the Blue Uniform of FedEx, he has that little Computer in his hand and an overnight document satchel, he asks me if I’m Shane Hodge and I say yes, then he asks me to sign the little machine screen, hands me the satchel and says“Congratulations this is Your FedEx Life as a father”
I’m so excited, I open up the satchel and there it is my real life script, all my True Feelings, Emotions, Desires, Experiences, Xcuses and has been delivered to me in a sealed envelope that nobody has opened before. It’s all me, it’s all there for me to see, warts and all. Can you imagine that? Can you see it in your mind’s eye? What truths are written there? What is really and truthfully the Feelings, Emotions, Desires, Experience and Xcuses that have been holding you back? It’s not a pleasant moment, but for a Sensational Comeback FedEx must be faced.
Can you write them down today?
Or you can put the book down and do it right now, what part of your life what role would you really want to see a Comeback performance? And what is the FedEx script for that role right now?
Again just a little help:
Comeback Role: Father
FedEx Script: I really miss my kids and in fact I did leave them but I want to spend quality time with them but after all this time I just don’t know how. Sure I send them money but I want to be with them and share time with them, I want to see how they are doing and what they are doing, I want to share their interests, get to know their friends. I want them to be part of my life see what I do and enjoy it with me. I want to be more than a phone call and a cheque in the mail - I want to be a Dad.
Can you see the Feelings? Emotion? Desires? Experience? And Xcuses?
So what does FedEx do for us? It rewrites the script! It calls CUT to the current Direction and starts to create a script of what we really WANT.
I used the Father Comeback role, but you decide which role it is you desire a Comeback. It can be as a Partner, it can be your career, it can be your health but what ends up with your FedEx is Honesty.
With the dishonesty of your DHL out of the way and your FedEx in place you are well on your way to your Comeback. The new script is just the beginning of your blockbuster, and congratulations on that. Wow it’s exciting and yes it’s tough but how great will you feel when you walk up to the Microphone of life and yell at the top of your Voice.
I know I have been away for a awhile but, YESSSSSS I’m on my way back!
IN fact scream that out right now at the top of your voice, I’M ON MY WAY BACKKKKKKK
You feel better now? Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “Whatever games are played with us, we must play no games with ourselves”.
That’s a wonderful quote about being honest with ourselves. Do you ever wonder how much time you waste in life by working on the dishonesty of a DHL life? Not facing up and enjoying the truth? One of things I loved most about my Mum was how she faced the truth. She never asked the Doctor to hold back on any news good or bad, but I know that in our daily lives we seem to have “avoidance” disease, we don’t like to hear the truth and we don’t want to give it much either.
If there was one single lesson I have learnt in life of what seperates the Champions from everybody else? It would be the ability to accept and act upon the truth. If I could document all the greatest coaches I have met or read about in my life (another book?) I would say the greatest attribute they have in helping people achieve high performance? Is the ability they have to be totally honest to those that they train.
Let me state it again, the Comeback is not about fame and fortune it’s about you and me and the things that matter - Life, Love, Relationships and mine and your desire to be a World Champion in those fields. Why? Because if you’re a Champion in those areas, you will have the added bonus of succeeding in so many other areas.
With the honesty of your FedEx Script you are on your way back, now let’s move forward.