Читать книгу Three Virtues of Effective Parenting - Shirley Yuen - Страница 11

A person of benevolence is never anxious; a person of wisdom is never confused; a person of courage is never fearful.

(Analects 9.29)

Confucius named benevolence, wisdom, and courage the three universal virtues. They are universally binding and are each closely related. Wisdom aims at the knowledge of benevolence, and courage at its practice. By learning and practicing these three virtues, parenting will become simpler because you will no longer be fundamentally anxious, confused, or fearful.

Does this mean that parents who are not anxious, confused, or fearful in parenting are instantly benevolent, wise, and courageous? The answer is no. A parent who does not care about the well-being of a child will never be anxious; a parent who does not bother to learn about the different ways to parent will never be confused; a parent who is not concerned with the consequence of his actions will never be fearful. Yet, this does not mean these parents are virtuous. Only by instilling the virtues of benevolence, wisdom, and courage will you be able to see how right decisions will lead to right results, and in so doing you will become free from anxiety, confusion, and fear.

By learning how to apply the three universal virtues in parenting, you will be one big step closer to effective parenting. By incorporating the three virtues in your parental choices (or in any other life choices), you can rest assured that you will be making the right decision. It may not seem as easy as reacting thoughtlessly to a situation in any way you like, but you’ll see the difference is in the results you get. The key is to make the right decision for the right result. And that is what virtuous parenting is all about.

If you are not familiar with the three virtues of benevolence, wisdom, and courage, it may take a little while for you to get used to applying them to your everyday parental choices. However, once you get to know and appreciate them, you will get into the pattern of asking three simple questions before making any parental decisions: Is this benevolent? Is this wise? Do I have the courage to pursue the right result?

In the next three chapters you will learn more about Confucius’ three universal virtues and how they can help with your difficult challenges in parenting. By being able to apply them whenever you are at a crossroad, parenting will become more simple and effective, and you will truly become free from anxiety, confusion, and fear.