Читать книгу Muse - Sommer Marsden - Страница 15

‘I’m just going to take this …’ Cheryl gathered her meal container and her soda. She slid out of her seat and Dani found herself clamping a hand on her friend’s arm.

‘Don’t go,’ she managed.

‘Oh, no. I have to,’ Cheryl said. She looked like she’d either laugh or cry. Maybe both. ‘This is a family thing. I’ll just let you have your privacy.’ She shook Dani’s hand off gently and went.

‘Traitor,’ Dani sighed.

‘I’m waiting, Danielle.’ Her mother’s mouth was a tight seam, her eyes loaded with disapproval.

‘I’m not doing pornography, mother,’ she said, keeping her voice low. ‘I took the position of model in Chris’s classes. It just happens to be nude.’

Helen Young shut her eyes as if she’d just received a death sentence. ‘Nude,’ she said, drawing the word out.

Dani straightened up, pushed her shoulders back. She was getting pissed now. ‘Yes. Nude. I’m not a child, Mom. I can make my own decisions, you know.’

‘But why on earth would this be your big decision? I’ve seen you have trouble deciding between beef or seafood for dinner since you and Bob … broke up.’

Her mother rarely said the word ‘divorce’.

‘So?’

‘So, now you’ve made this grand adult decision to parade around naked.’ Her mother leaned in, practically groaning the last word of her sentence.

‘Yes, I have. It’s fine. I stand there in a single pose. The class sketches me and—’

‘So an entire classroom of strangers – no, two classrooms full of strangers, according to Clara – have naked pictures of you.’

Dani couldn’t help it. She snorted with laughter. ‘Pictures? You mean sketches. That they did themselves. Some probably very badly. They draw me, Mother, I’m not doing a live feed online for the viewing pleasure of strange men out in the ether.’

‘But you might as well be! You need to stop.’

‘Firstly,’ Dani said, her anger growing, ‘I do not need to stop. And I won’t stop. It’s really not as big a deal as you’re making it. Secondly, what was it Daddy told me that one time, the year I turned twenty-one and we all went out drinking as a family, about you dancing when you were in college?’

Her mother’s mouth went from a tight seam to invisible. Her jaw and mouth so tight her lips virtually disappeared. ‘Dani—’ Her voice held warning.

‘Not just dancing,’ Dani said, tapping her temple and pretending to think. But she didn’t have to think. She’d never forget her father dropping that particular bomb on her. Or how she’d sat there, clutching a mug of tap beer, mouth hanging open in surprise. And a little horror, she’d admit. No one thinks of their mother that way. ‘It wasn’t just dancing, was it? It was exotic dancing.’

Her mother looked at the table, the ceiling, the door of the cafeteria as it swung open admitting other lunch patrons. ‘That is beside the point.’

‘And we all know,’ Dani went on, pushing the envelope, ‘that exotic dancing is code for—’

‘Danielle!’

‘Stripping!’ Dani said, leaning in and whispering the word.

Her mother had gone pale. ‘I do not regret that experience.’

Dani sat back, a bit smug. ‘And I don’t expect you to. But I do not and will not regret this one. Even if you want me to.’

Helen Young sat back, put her hands palms down on the table and regarded Dani. ‘We all want better for our children than what we had, what we did.’

‘I appreciate that. But this is something I want to do. I am doing. You have two choices, you can support me or you can not support me. If you choose the second option, I’ll thank you to do it silently.’

Her mother said nothing for a long time. Finally, she simply nodded. ‘I’ll get going, then. Looks like your lunch break is almost up. Call me and let me know if you’re going to Mary Catherine’s baby shower. If you are you can pick me up. We can ride together.’ She laid a cool kiss on Dani’s forehead and hustled out, walking with a tight gait in her mauve wool suit.

Dani sighed and pushed away the remainder of her lunch. She wasn’t very hungry any more. She hadn’t expected that, just when she’d got used to the idea of her new part-time job, she’d have to battle her mother over it. Sometimes life – adult life – was just too damned exhausting.

* * *

Nipples, nipples, nipples …

It was all she could think of. She’d arrived on time and Chris had gotten her the robe. The whole routine had become normal. Which was both invigorating and terrifying. Arrive, disrobe and be posed like a giant Barbie doll.

He’d tugged the end of her hair just as she was about to go change. ‘Hey, you OK?’

‘Fine. Dust-up with Helen the Great. No biggie.’

‘Yeah, I heard my mom let the cat out of the bag.’

‘No worries,’ Dani said. ‘I had ammunition.’

He raised an eyebrow and the thought that he’d just had a date the night before pounded her already tired brain. What, was she jealous? That was insane.

‘Do tell.’

‘Later. I’ll tell you over drinks one day. Then we can sit back quietly and listen to the sound of my mother’s soul screaming.’

Chris laughed. ‘Off you go. I’ll go back in and prompt them. Sadly, you’ll be in the same pose as the first class. A lot of them didn’t quite finish and need the visual prompt.’

Dani shrugged. ‘Fine by me.’

It was only as she was wrapping the well-washed robe around herself that she realised she had a date herself. Tonight. With Kevin Buck.

The day had been so insane – the aftermath of her filthy dreams, her mother’s lunchtime ambush – that it had slipped her mind. Now, standing in the classroom, with his eyes on her and her nipples so tight she felt she could cut glass with them, it was the only thing she could think of.

As the silence invaded her mind, broken by nothing but the heat ticking on and the scratch of pencils on art pads, she thought she might scream. Every time she glanced at him he smiled. His eyes seemed to trace every inch of her. And, unlike the other students, he’d stare for a long while before even putting pencil to paper. As if memorising every single nuance before even thinking of drawing it.

‘Fifteen-minute break,’ Chris announced and she exhaled a long breath. Dani hadn’t even realised she’d been holding it until the air came whooshing out of her lungs and she got to inhale a deep, fresh breath.

She walked out into the hall, stoically ignoring the pervasive wetness between her thighs. Thank God she didn’t have to sit for this pose. She feared a wet spot would have been revealed when she stood.

Dani heard footsteps and turned. Buck was standing there, simply watching. ‘We still on for tonight?’ he asked, finally.

She didn’t trust her voice so she nodded.

‘Great. There’s this little place near my house that has wine-tasting trays and appetisers. Low-key. Nice. Small.’ He leaned against the wall, all long and lanky with his teasing, innocent man bun. But the look in his eyes was intense. Definitely not innocent. ‘It’s quiet. Does that sound OK?’

She’d heard it all but the words that echoed in her head were ‘near my house’. Would she go home with him? Would she act on the cues her body was giving her? Dani had no idea. She managed to say, ‘Sounds great’ without sounding like she’d been sucking helium.

‘Great. I think you’ll like it. I’ve been looking forward to this since Monday.’

‘Me too,’ she said. She’d nearly forgotten but, if she was dreaming dirty dreams about Buck, then she definitely had him on her mind. In a most carnal way.

Chris stuck his head out of the classroom. ‘We’re back, guys.’

When Kevin Buck turned, Dani caught Chris sizing him up. An unreadable expression flitted across his face but it was gone so fast she couldn’t tell what it was.

‘Coming,’ she said, then heat flooded her face. Poor choice of words. Because there had been a few moments in there, being studied and sketched and watched, when she’d thought she actually might. Now she had to go back in and stand there bared to the world, or at least to classroom 213, and not squirm out of her skin.

‘I’ll meet you at the south exit?’ Buck asked her.

Dani nodded. She glanced at Chris and there was the weird look on his face again. Before she could get a handle on it, he turned and strode back into the classroom.

She took her position again and tried to zone out. She listened to the scratch of pencils, the tick of the clock, the whoosh of forced warm air. She let her eyes drift to Chris and found him staring at her. She tried a small smile and he returned it but it didn’t touch his big green eyes, which remained far away, pondering.

He’s an artist. They all look that way …

But she wasn’t convinced and neither was her stomach, which seemed to twist in on itself as she stood there. The room was too warm but then it was too cool. She felt like the bulk of her was too big for her skin, as if it had shrunk. It was anxiety, she kept telling herself. So she focused on her breathing. When Chris finally dismissed her so he could wrap up class, she felt a relief so enormous her legs went wobbly.

She hurried down to get dressed and then made the vain concession of touching up her makeup and fluffing her hair. Her work clothes would have to do for her date because she hadn’t been thinking – had simply been drifting through her day – and hadn’t thought to bring something more casual. Thankfully, her wrap dress was pretty much suited to any damn place she wore it.

‘It’ll have to do,’ she said to her reflection. And it would. It would have to do.