Читать книгу Muse - Sommer Marsden - Страница 6

‘And I don’t want you to be late, Dani. Not like the last time we went to dinner. I was ready to go sitting there like a prom date who’d been ditched—’

Dani hung her head. ‘Mother—’ she attempted. She clutched the silky white teddy in her hand, thinking she should put it in the ‘donate’ pile, but something in her heart clenched at the idea.

‘And then we were late to get the early menu. You know I like the early menu.’

She took a deep breath before finally breaking into her mother’s tirade. ‘I won’t be late. If you let me get off the phone. I have to finish bagging this stuff. I can’t show up at a clothing trade without actual clothing, now can I?’

Her mother humped into the phone and Dani couldn’t help it, she smiled.

‘Fine. Be here at two. Two sharp, Danielle!’

‘I will, Mom.’ She managed to say goodbye and hang up without tearing her hair out.

The room was bright now. She’d painted it yellow after her marriage to Bob had ended. Originally it had been a dark blue called December Evening, but now it was called Bright Eyed Susan. It suited her better, she thought. Suited the way she wanted her life to feel.

‘Fuck it,’ she said and tossed the white teddy in the pile for the clothing swap. It had been her wedding-night lingerie and she saw absolutely no reason to hang onto it. No reason in clinging to the past.

‘Now if we could just work on this future I’m supposed to have. A bright, fun, single woman breaking hearts and kicking ass.’ At least that was what everyone had told her. Everyone had assured her that her life would improve. That it would get better.

Dani picked up the teddy once more and ran the fabric through her fingers. She traced the lace at the edges, felt the hope this garment had once held lance through her. If she shut her eyes it was easy. Too easy, in fact. She could remember that night. The excitement, the buzz of alcohol and wedding festivities and being married. Belonging to someone.

She held it like a talisman, remembering the feel of Bob’s mouth on her mouth. Then the feel of it moving everywhere else. Kissing down her neck, licking at her collar bones, sucking one nipple and then the other. Then his hot breath and wet tongue on her navel before drifting lower. How he’d skated his teeth along the sharp jut of her hipbones and her pubis, before finally, blissfully, moving lower to where she needed it most. Settling his head between her thighs. Licking her until the entire world seemed to surge before crashing down in a wave.

How that night had seemed the beginning and the end. How everything looked shiny and new and seemed to hold magical potential.

‘Fuck,’ she said, opening her eyes and tossing it back in the pile.

That was another woman. Another life. Long gone and best forgotten. All that potential had fizzled like a soda left open. What had started as effervescent had ended up flat and cloying.

She shook her head, checked her clock and set about neatly folding the clothing she’d gathered and tucking it into boxes. Then she filled a bag with purses and another with shoes and a few belts.

‘Out with the old and in with the new!’ she declared to no one at all.

A quick shower and then she was choosing an outfit. Something her mother wouldn’t find issue with. Jeans – not too tight, not too loose – tall black boots, a smoke-grey tunic and a pendant that had been her grandmother’s. She tugged her auburn hair up into a messy topknot and added long earrings. She regarded herself in the mirror and tried on a smile. She loved her mother more than anything but sometimes she had to steel herself to spend long bouts of time with her.

‘She’s going to hate the hair,’ she told her reflection. Then she shrugged, gathered her bags, found her purse, and headed to her mom’s. She had plenty of time, she thought smugly. So there would be no reason at all for her mother to complain. Well, at least not about her being late.

* * *

Helen Young was leaning against her front fence talking to a neighbour when Dani pulled up. Her mother tossed her a wave and went right on yapping. She was decked out in a sage-coloured suit, a cream blouse and some sensible heels. Her greying hair was tucked up into a sleek French twist. It had once been the same shade of auburn as Dani’s, a rich mix of red and dark brown. Now it was heavily streaked with silver. Not grey, her mother always pointed out … silver.

Dani put the car in park, took a fortifying breath and climbed out.

‘She’s on time!’ Helen declared to no one and everyone.

Mrs Fletcher from next door, a few years older than her mom and prone to wearing housecoats all day every day, waved her newspaper at Dani. ‘Hi, hon!’

‘Hi, Mrs Fletcher. How are you?’

‘Still alive!’ she called with a cackle.

‘Good to hear.’ Dani went to her mom, kissed her powdered cheek. ‘Hi, Mom. Your bags?’

‘All up on the porch just waiting for the cavalry to arrive to help me.’

‘Here I am.’ Dani began to load them two at a time. The front steps were steep brick and she’d warned her mother not to attempt bringing the bags down on her own.

When they were all loaded, Dani turned to her mom, who was still rattling on across the fence.

‘Mom?’

When her mom finally took a breath and looked her way, Dani tapped an imaginary watch on her wrist. ‘Tick tick tick … you didn’t want to be late.’

‘I’m being taken now,’ Helen said to Mrs Fletcher. ‘You call me if that sciatica acts up and you need someone to fetch you stuff.’

Mrs Fletcher agreed, waved the paper again and disappeared inside her small house. A house heavily decorated with cat figurines, prints of Jesus at the Last Supper, and doilies. Lots and lots of doilies. Dani had spent summers cleaning the older woman’s house when she was in high school. She’d never had to move so many doilies in her life.

In the car, her mother immediately shut off the radio station with a shudder. ‘Nothing but noise.’

Dani laughed. ‘That’s eighties music, mom. It’s now what they play over the grocery store sound system and it’s been turned into elevator music.’

‘And it’s still noise,’ Helen said, clutching her purse in her lap. ‘You have your bags?’

‘Yes.’

‘You ready to find some new clothes?’

Dani sighed. ‘I guess. I doubt they’ll have anything that really works for me.’

Her mother appraised her with a cocked eyebrow. ‘Oh, come on. You’re not exactly fashion forward, Dani. I’d call you … kitschy and comfy.’

‘I’ll attempt to take that as a compliment.’

Her mom shrugged. ‘Nothing wrong with it. Anyway, it’s for a good cause. Ten bucks and two bags or more gets us our tokens and then they’ll have a silent auction later for pricier items that were donated outright. Some schmoozing—’

‘Schmoozing?’ Dani asked, laughing.

Helen nodded decisively. ‘Yes, some schmoozing, some food, some drinks, and you come home with some new clothes. Win-win-win.’

‘Well, I’m glad you’re excited,’ Dani said. ‘I’m sure it will be fun.’

There was a palpable beat of silence. Dani felt her mother working her way up to saying something. Probably something Dani didn’t want to hear. The pregnant moment passed and Helen tried to be casual as she blew out a breath and said, ‘So … dating anyone?’

Dani managed not to roll her eyes. ‘Nope. Not at the moment.’

Her mother’s lips settled into a thin, dissatisfied line. ‘Dani, you’re not getting any younger.’

Dani shook her head, turned the car onto Harford Road and tried not to get angry. ‘No, but I’m not getting any dumber either. I’m not going to date someone just because I’m not twenty.’

Her mother gave her a nod. ‘Well, that’s true.’

Dani laughed again. ‘Glad you see it my way, Mom. And by the way, thirty-two isn’t exactly ancient.’

Her mother patted her leg. ‘Not at all. But life has a way of creeping up on you. In a blink you’re not thirty-two any more. You’re sixty-two.’

‘I’m sure,’ Dani said, feeling a sudden sadness. Life did go fast but she couldn’t date someone just to date them. And since the divorce had been finalised she hadn’t met anyone she felt the need to spend her time with. It was what it was and she felt it best to accept that. She’d had a few scattershot dates that had been pleasant but nothing special, and then a few that had been the stuff bad-dating comedies were made of. She’d rather be alone.

‘Plus, men die sooner than women, statistically speaking.’

‘Mom!’

‘Well, it’s true. So, you’ll have limited time even once you find the right man.’

‘Mom …’ she sighed. She could feel it coming. The next thing her mom would say.

‘I had thirty wonderful years with your dad and then we lost him. I’ve been alone since. Eleven years later, I’m still alone.’

Dani shook her head, took her mom’s hand briefly and squeezed it. ‘I know, Mom. But let’s change the subject. Because we’re here!’

She turned into the VFW hall’s parking lot and found a spot. Then she cut the engine and turned toward her mother. ‘It’s going to be fine, Mom. I’ll meet someone when I meet someone. It’ll work out.’

Helen gave a decisive nod and patted her hair. ‘You’re right. Of course. I’m sorry. I worry, is all.’

‘It’s your job.’

They paid their donation entrance fee and then an older gentleman went with them to the car and helped them gather and check in their donation bags. Dani watched carefully and noticed her mother was flirting. She couldn’t help but laugh. Helen had tried to give Dani a pep talk and Dani was starting to think it had backfired on her.

They were given a table to set up their clothing. Dani was just displaying the lingerie on the table when a sharp voice cried, ‘Helen Young! And Dani!’