Читать книгу Time & Money - Sonja Becker, Martin Sage - Страница 6
CHARTING YOUR OWN COURSE
ОглавлениеProsperity is an essential aspect of success. True wealth is more than financial freedom. It’s a sense of something deeper. Wealth is the fulfillment of your authentic desires. Happiness is a sense of calm well-being, a kind of fulfillment that comes from deep within your being. How you achieve that kind of fulfillment may be very different than you think.
Most of life is dedicated to pursuing more, better and different. But there is another aspect of living that is not so easily grasped. The thing we seek—the elusive obvious—comes from a rare balance of time and money that frees up our attention. When the need for money no longer determines how we spend our time, we can be spontaneous and free to do what we love.
We spend time, and we spend money. And eventually we spend our lives. What’s important is how much you enjoy the passing of time, and whether your efforts earn you a prosperous life and a secure future. Your career and lifestyle should provide prosperity at mid-career and wealth in later years. And it should bring you pleasure along the way.
Play is the magical ingredient in happiness. Playfulness lifts our spirits and keeps us young. Playful people automatically achieve all the benefits that accompany such serious disciplines as yoga, meditation, aerobics, etc. Fitness, ease, naturalness and breath release occur spontaneously through play, even without any conscious striving for those effects.
A father goes to the gym with his young son. While Dad pumps iron, junior runs around and plays with his friends. The father certainly achieves a benefit, but his task is one of many, and he builds up resistance along with his muscles. At the end of the day the boy has achieved a more integrated fitness simply through the release of tensions that goes with fun and laughter. Who do you suppose most looks forward to returning to the gym?
Tragically, modern culture has a strict taboo against play for responsible adults. We are allowed to play, so long as it has a useful purpose—which, of course, defeats the real essence of play. Sports are okay because they make us fit. Music is okay as long as it enhances our real goals. But play as an end in itself is considered a waste of time and a threat to more useful activities, such as those that make us tighten up our muscles and scrunch our brows. In this human race it seems we must strive always to arrive at the end of life with the most resources.
Figure 1 depicts the arrow of time that encompasses your life. The vertical line represents the financial value you produce. The horizontal line represents the quality of your life and how you enjoy the passing of time. Balancing value (measured by money) with quality (measured over time) establishes the most direct route to fulfilling your desires. Value and quality are like two stars that you navigate your craft between to keep it on target.
Putting too much emphasis on money will enslave you to the almighty dollar. Too much focus on pleasure will leave you jaded and banish you to poverty. Both are side roads that may absorb you in the short run but prove disastrous over the long haul. A dynamic balance of time and money frees you up to play and to discover what you should do with the rest of your life.
THE FIRE OF DESIRE
When doing things you don’t really want to do, your efforts are lackluster. On the other hand, when you want to do something with all of your heart and soul, you are unstoppable.
Great athletes and performers don’t succeed on talent alone. They also possess a delightful desire that urges them toward wanting to reach their goals more than anything else. You too have that kind of desire in a specific arena, and your unique talent lies hidden within that deep desire.
Whomever and whatever you are, you do something supremely well. Each of us is a heroic figure, born with a particular purpose and designed to make a specific contribution to the world. The quality of our existence depends on whether or not we discover the activity that unleashes our talent. Every child is born with a gift. Each of us is a Picasso or Einstein, awaiting the recognition that awakens our innate genius.
Recognizing your gift begins the process of transforming that gift into an activity that enlivens you. That one particular activity will arouse great forces and treasures buried deep in our subconscious mind. Like Aladdin, you must find your way through the false treasures and find the lamp—the inner light— that awakens your genie (genius). You release this brilliant self by discovering the activities that light you up.
When doing the thing you are designed to do, you feel natural joy. Pleasure reinforces your efforts. You are more sensitive to your surroundings. The activity that piques your curiosity provides a clue to what you should be doing with your life. If you love Nature, for instance, you can learn how to earn a living protecting her. If you love people, you can create a lucrative career by serving them.
WHAT TO DO WITH THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
There are two tests for determining how to spend your time and to earn money. First, does it light you up? And second, is it feasible? First let’s consider what lights you up.
Only your own vitality can guide you toward doing what is right for you. When people speak about their true passion, they display visible changes in their faces and bodies. They physically glow when they work within their calling.
Test the degree of your passion by asking an objective friend to listen as you describe your dream. As you become “warmer” or more excited, your eyes light up and your skin begins to glow. You feel more alive, more connected to your surroundings. When you grow “colder” or less enthusiastic, your expression falls and you disconnect from the people around you. An observant friend will notice the difference.
Already, you know some of the activities that turn you on and increase your vitality. Those activities are pieces of your life’s puzzle. Write each activity down on separate Post-it notes as they occur to you until you have collected a stack of notes representing the activities that form the mosaic of your ideal life.
Then lay the notes out and examine them. Sort them by similarities. In one corner you may place music or entertainment interests. In another corner you might begin with academic pursuits. Still another part of the puzzle might organize around sports or recreation. As you try to fit these activities together, you will begin to see that there are elements missing from your life. This awareness will put your biocomputer in a search mode, ferreting out connective activities that fill in the missing pieces.
Someone may light up on fishing and accounting. But how do these disparate activities fit together? Might there be connecting pieces that you have never before considered? Should you become a bookkeeper at a fishing lodge, or perhaps work for wealthy clients who go fishing with you?
As more pieces of your puzzle accumulate, the possibilities increase. The idea isn’t to get the “right answer.” Rather, you are learning to keep your options open and recognize the overall pattern in your needs. As you become comfortable with not knowing the answer, more intricate patterns will emerge. Look for the unexpected. After days or even weeks of contemplation, some event will occur in your life that makes sense in the larger pattern. Unexpected events will seem to answer the question that your mind couldn’t resolve. You will feel more alive and your view of your life will be larger.
Teachers and coaches tell us to focus on one thing, and most people interpret that to mean one piece of the puzzle. True focus creates a larger perspective by organizing all the activities that go into a great life. Your new perceptions approximate reality more closely because they don’t exclude essential parts of your nature.
When you were born your life was a puzzle. However, there was no picture on the box to help you assemble the pieces. Because we evolved from hunters and gatherers, we instinctively focus on the objects and movement. For eons our survival depended on noticing the movement of other bodies as distinct from the background. That familiar way of thinking limited our options. Traditional learning reinforces that fragmented thinking by interpreting every event we encounter as a potential threat.
Once mankind fulfilled some basic survival needs, a few people began to look at life from a larger perspective. They began to notice how events were connected. That kind of thinking is called systems thinking. When you let go of your fixation on objects and begin to notice how events are connected, you have more options to respond to those events. You can adapt better.
If we ask someone to describe something that occurred in their company, they respond with a generalization. “Janis did a good job.” If we ask them to clarify, they make a more specific generalization. “Janis really gave her best effort.” These concepts can’t be verified, so arguments ensue. People work at cross purposes. Vitality decreases. Their lights go out as they struggle to prove they are right and others are wrong.
Systematic thinking focuses attention precisely on the event. “Janis removed the vase from the table.” That statement is an accurate description, which helps other people notice what they did in relation to Janis’s action. “She handed me the vase and I put it in the sink.” Suddenly people are speaking the language of events. Their conversations reflect actual reality rather than conceptual reality. Instead of trading opinions, their words begin to reflect actual occurrences. They have common ground, which enables them to coordinate their actions better. Vitality increases. They light up.
Group thinking is what happens when people share conceptual realities. Concepts can be perfectly true, but they can also be perfectly boring. People argue familiar points and disagree on how to proceed. Opinions proliferate. Projects bog down. Thoughts and feelings flare up in response to separate interpretations.
Systemic thinking is thinking together as a network. Instead of interpretations, people communicate with descriptions of events. The accuracy of their observations enables them to play off each other. As the pace picks up they begin to get results at a faster pace. Their language brings attention to outcomes that are self-evident. Their descriptions can quickly be verified and the team can see the next step. Aliveness increases as everyone is caught up in the pleasure of achievement. Individuality disappears as the connections between their activities become clearer. When change comes they can adapt to real events, while others continue to gaze at their mental models.
Systemic thinking doesn’t eliminate ordinary thinking. In fact, you must persist in generalizing and in fulfilling your ego desires until they combine and merge with your actions. Systems expand your options by giving you an additional way to look at things. By adding another way to relate to events, you enrich your interpretation. Eventually your ideas begin to integrate with actual events. Through trial and error you awaken your senses and harness the energy that comes from vivid perceptions.
Action brings the conceptual and actual worlds into alignment. Go for what you want. When you fulfill a false desire, you get past it. You begin to notice the vitality that happens through your connection to other people. When you communicate through action, you create a natural attraction for the things that truly matter in life. You move and speak with the confidence of someone who won’t be denied. Your projects are magnetic and other people feel included. Money and pleasure come easily because you exude a strong yet gentle approach to life. Depriving yourself of legitimate desires destroys your motivation and only leads to burn out.
Once you know what lights you up, you must consider the second question: are those activities feasible? Can you assemble all of the things you enjoy into a workable business design? Do they add up to a service or product that works in the real world and under actual market conditions?
There are some simple reality tests that will help you answer these questions. Has anyone ever succeeded in doing the thing that interests you? Do you have talent in this arena? Do the activities you enjoy work within the laws of nature? Do they lend themselves to use by others who would pay to participate in them? Could you do those things for many years without burning out? Do listeners light up when you describe the activities you want to do for a living?
Look beyond the glamorous pictures in your mind to grasp the reality of your dream before you pursue it. Someone who wants to own a horse ranch, for example, should first spend some time cleaning stables. Actually, owning a ranch is nothing like Bonanza. Real ranching is sustained drudgery; lugging heavy tools, and completing earthy jobs. If you don’t resonate to that work, a horse ranch would just steal away your attention from the things you really enjoy.
On the other hand, don’t feel limited by obstacles that exist only in your mind. To find your core activities you have to try a lot of different things. Work on a ranch. Play in a band. Fly a plane. Try out all of the different things that you’ve ever wondered about.
Even if you think you are too young, or too old, or too ordinary, take some chances. It’s never too early to begin. It’s never too late, either. Beware self-doubt. Don’t accept disappointing verdicts from well-meaning friends. Einstein was considered simpleminded by his schoolmaster, yet, he learned the fundamentals of science, and then carried the entire field into a new dimension. The schoolmaster, on the other hand, is remembered only as a nuisance.
Some famous pop singers can barely carry a tune. It’s their flair that propels them to the top of the charts. Recognizing your limitations can help you rise above them. Those very limitations are often only one aspect of your unique intelligence. Many active children, for instance, are diagnosed as hyperactive, but in reality they are just high energy people. The wildest colts make the best horses.
WHAT IS YOUR DESIRE?
So, what do you want? Contemplate the things that make you happy. After you run through your habitually recurrent list, consider the question again. What do you really want? What one word would you use to express the core of your desire? What makes life worthwhile for you?
We earn our living interviewing people and giving them feedback on the things that light them up. Surprisingly, no one ever brightened up on pursuing anything lofty, significant, or spiritual. Everyone wants to light up on noble endeavors, but our roots lie in something more basic. In our experience, most people come alive around action and the toys that move them to action
Peak experiences and spiritual insights are considered sacred. We believe that material things are sacred, too. When you buy something you want, your purchase feeds and clothes the entire network of people who designed, and built, and sold that product.
Playful action is both material and spiritual at the same time. People genuinely delight in sports and recreation. Humans were made to play. Just about everybody we have ever worked with lit up when performing or making people laugh.
The thing you enjoy above all others is what makes you interesting and desirable. When you discover your function, your mind and body reorganize around it. That's why engineers often look like engineers, and lawyers often look like lawyers. Athletes look athletic, artists look artistic, and musicians look, well, musical. What you do for a living determines largely how you view life and the kind of person you become. People who work in cubicles begin to think inside the box. Those who serve people become more sociable. By making the right career choice for your particular nature and style, you are choosing the path of growth and fulfillment.
Your career shapes your body, facial structure, health, social life, tastes, and just about everything else that relates to the quality of your overall experience. If you want to be healthy and trim, conduct a project around fitness. Your body and face will conform to your function.
What is the activity that when you are engaged in it, makes your whole life fall into place? Once you realize your function, you want to perform it. Structure business projects around that activity. The best investment of your time and money is on projects that will earn you money for doing what you love.
There is a popular myth that entrepreneurs are risk takers. The opposite is true. We are the least inclined to bet on anything we can’t control. The majority of people who invest in stocks will eventually lose their investment. If you gamble in Las Vegas, you will inevitably lose money. And while creating your own business projects is risky, at least you control the risks.
Bet on yourself and your talent. Invest in your education and development. Invest your time and money in activities that build an exciting career. When you are doing the things that release you, people will pay you to do it.
So explore yourself more deeply. It can take years to discover the many dimensions of your gifts. Be willing to admit what you actually are. Don’t fear your greatness. Even if it shocks your parents or society, you must face your true nature. When you see what you love doing, it will consume you. There is no greater feeling than knowing you are living your dream.
The best possible plan builds community along with financial success. It grows your web of friendships right along with your fortune. Discovering your craft means finding the kind of people you want around you in your later years. Great friendships ensure the respect and appreciation that keeps your heart warm all the days of your life.
Your existence is a matter of great importance to a few people who resonate with you. On a larger scale, your life matters to all of mankind. Remember that the mere possibility of finding healing plants in the rainforests makes those forests important. If we lose them, we lose essential matter that may solve problems we haven’t even experienced yet. Your life is equally important when considering the larger scheme of things. If you fail to actualize your potential, we all lose. The rest of us need your talents for handling problems we face today and those yet to come.
Mother Nature designed you to produce a thing of great value, something that brings a bit of understanding to the evolution of intelligence. Society cannot live fully without your contribution. We may get by, but without your light we are impoverished.