Читать книгу Searching for Sam - Sophie Bienvenu - Страница 12

OUR FIRST NIGHT OUTSIDE, IT WAS SO DESERTED downtown it was like my bawling was echoing around the city. It was bouncing off buildings, from locked doors to closed windows … maybe all the way to her.

Sam gave me her paw and looked at me. In the dark, I could only see her orange eyes reflecting the light from the streetlight.

I put my head in her neck, and I held her like when I was a kid and I would go to sleep crying but not knowing why, squeezing my teddy bear. You would think now that I’m an adult I would know why I’m crying, but, nope. There are too many things, way too many things. So many that I had to pick one.

I don’t have a home anymore.

I was sobbing, for the first time in a long time. I was seriously letting ’er rip. No one was around to tell me to pull myself together and that other people have it way worse. No one was there to tell me they were there, when I felt so alone that I was dry and empty inside. I kept thinking “Why me?” over and over so many times that I thought I would end up saying it out loud.

You’re messing up your life. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Fuck you, Mom. You’re the one who messed me up.

I sniffed in big. Too big. I almost puked.

Sam lay down beside me. The lights went out. This is our life, now. Quit crying and go to sleep. I’m here. It’ll be okay.