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Heartbreak carbonara (or the first thing I ever cooked for a boy)

To marry with the wistful theme of my autumn, here is the first thing I ever cooked for a boy who I loved quietly and secretly. The carbonara in the pan lingered longer than he did — he wolfed it down with a bottle of Chianti, and informed me he was actually in love with a dancer called Willow (or something infinitely more exotic than Sophie). Then he disappeared into the night. I lay sobbing on the floor, wishing I could be angular and coordinated like Willow. Indeed, I cried such a ridiculous amount that in the morning I looked as if I had a black eye, and my mother gave me a heartbreak dispensation day off school.

SERVES 4

125g/4½ 0z of pancetta, bacon or ham

2 tablespoons of olive oil

4 egg yolks

30g/¼ cup of grated Parmesan

A splash of white wine

2 tablespoons of single/light cream

Salt and pepper

500g/1lb 2oz of spaghetti

Cut the pancetta into bite-sized pieces. In a medium-sized frying pan, put a small glug of oil and cook the pancetta until crispy. Put to the side.

In a mixing bowl, beat together the egg yolks, Parmesan, splash of wine, the cream and some salt and pepper. Add the pancetta and mix it all together. Cook the pasta and, as soon as it is ready, mix it quickly with the sauce so the egg doesn’t cook.

Heartbreak not essential.