Читать книгу Adopting Older Children - Stephanie Bosco-Ruggiero - Страница 12

CHAPTER 2

Who Can Adopt an Older Child?

In the United States, older children, especially those over the age of ten who are legally free for adoption, may wait for years to find a forever family and, sadly, many of those waiting will never find one. Special needs children from abroad, those who are older or who have health problems also may wait years to find a family to love them. This is why it is so important for prospective adoptive parents to understand how welcome they are to adopt an older child and just how much they are needed. The beauty of older child adoption is that parents from varying backgrounds, ages, ethnicities and sexual orientations are welcome to adopt. While prospective older parents, single parents or those with limited financial means may face challenges adopting an infant, they will encounter fewer problems adopting older children. Likewise, gays and lesbians may face challenges adopting an infant in the United States but are welcome by many public agencies to adopt an older child. Their ease in adopting an older child will depend, however, on agency culture and state laws. For gays and lesbians, adopting internationally is a different story which we will discuss later.

Waiting children, particularly older ones, will be asked by their caseworkers what type of family situation might work best for them in terms of family structure and location. A teen may be interested in being adopted by a married couple rather than a single parent or by adoptive parents who do not have any other children; sibling groups may only want to be adopted together. Furthermore, a child may prefer prospective parents in a particular geographic location so they can maintain contact with biological family members, their foster family or friends.

Laws regarding the age above which a legally free child must consent to be adopted by particular prospective parents vary state by state. There is the chance that after visits with a prospective family, or even living with them for several months, a child will decline to be adopted.

PROSPECTIVE OLDER ADOPTIVE PARENTS

Adoptions through the American child welfare system by older adults have increased over the past decades. As Americans live longer, middle age and beyond is no longer considered too late for parenting. Members of the baby-boomer generation are more active in their senior years than most generations that have come before them. They are starting new careers, going to school and developing new businesses, so why not start a new family?

Older adults may be more emotionally and financially ready to parent compared to when they were in their twenties and thirties. Adults over the age of fifty may even be interested in raising adopted children after their biological children are grown and have left home. Some, never having had biological children, may fulfill their dreams of raising children long after their childbearing years have passed. The child welfare system provides older adults an opportunity to become parents, whereas the private system of infant adoption is no longer an option due to age requirements set by most private agencies.

There are upper age limits on infant adoption, because private agencies want to ensure adoptive parents are healthy enough to parent a young child. Generally there are no maximum age requirements for domestic older child adoption because agencies want to expand their pool of prospective parents. Also, older parents may have years of parenting experience behind them, making them excellent applicants for raising children who have experienced early adversity.

PROSPECTIVE SINGLE ADOPTIVE PARENTS

Adoption by single adults has increased over the past few decades as well. In 2011, close to one-third of adoptions from foster care were by single adults, according to the US Department of Health and Human Services.¹ Since the 1980s it has become more culturally acceptable for single parents to raise children on their own.

Women in particular have become increasingly willing and interested in raising children alone, though single fatherhood is on the rise as well. Children may come to single women biologically, through relationships with partners, surrogate partners, artificial insemination or through adoption. Older child adoption may appeal particularly to single women who are in a later stage of life when raising an infant is not an option. Single women who have a strong support system may adopt with the hope they will later find a partner with whom to raise the child. Others may not be as concerned about finding a partner and are willing and expecting to take on the burden of parenting largely on their own. Lesbians and gay men may need to adopt as single parents, even if they have a partner, due to restrictions on gay couples adopting in their states.

While there are more single women interested in adoption, the pool of prospective single male adoptive parents is growing. Single men may have concerns similar to single women including feeling that, as older single men, they are more prepared to parent an older child than an infant. Some single men who adopt may be gay and do not yet have a partner or are restricted to adopting as a single man due to state laws against same-sex second parent adoption. While the number of single adoptive fathers is increasing, single adoptive mothers greatly outnumber single adoptive fathers by a ratio of thirteen to one.²

KINSHIP CARE AND ADOPTION

Kinship care or kinship adoption refers to the care or adoption of a child by a relative such as a grandparent, aunt or uncle. Some states have a broader definition of kin that includes non-related persons such as close friends of the family. Kinship care arrangements are made in families every day without the involvement of the courts or the child welfare system. Parents may be unable to care for their children due to military deployment or sudden illness. In certain cultures, informal care of children by kin is not uncommon. In Native American cultures, for example, members of the extended family and even unrelated members of the tribe are expected to care for children in need. Quite often, Native American children whose parents are unable to care for them are raised by grandparents or other older relatives.

Custody or guardianship agreements may be preferred to formal care or adoption by relative caregivers, because it does not result in termination of parental rights but gives the caregivers authority to make decisions for the child.

The Fostering Connections to Success and Increasing Adoptions Act of 2008 placed a major emphasis on kinship care and adoption. The Act encouraged states to enact policies requiring child welfare agencies to do a diligent search for all extended family members of a child removed from the home and to notify those family members of the child’s removal within thirty days. It also made funding available to states for programs that emphasize and support kinship care and adoption. Kinship navigator programs help kin caregivers access services vital to successfully raising the child(ren) in their care. Since the Act was passed, kinship care and adoption have grown. From 2000 to 2008 the percentage of children adopted out of child protective care by relatives increased from 21 to 30 percent.³

In a majority of states, related family members are given preference in the care of a child removed from the home. Relatives who are asked by agencies to care for related children, often with little notice, may not have to undergo all the licensing requirements of foster parents but they will generally have to undergo a criminal background check. Kinship caregivers filing for adoption are given priority in many jurisdictions. Kinship care and adoption policies vary from state to state, so it is important to understand what rights you have as a kinship caregiver in your state.

Over the past decade, researchers and practitioners have discovered a number of benefits of kinship foster care and adoption. In the care of relatives, children may be able to maintain stronger connections with their parents, community and culture. They also are more likely to be placed in the care of relatives with their siblings or in family situations where they have more contact with siblings.⁴

PROSPECTIVE ADOPTIVE PARENTS WHO ARE SERVING IN THE MILITARY

Active members of the armed services, based in the United States or abroad, are eligible to adopt from the US foster care system and internationally. They may also adopt an infant through the US system of private adoptions. It is important that active service members learn about special benefits and services they are eligible for when they adopt and about some of the barriers they may face during the process. Generally, military families follow the same process of adopting a child from the US foster care system as other families, including an agency orientation, pre-adoptive training, paperwork, background check, home study and working with the agency to be matched with a child.

Military families interested in adopting an infant should find a private agency to work with. Likewise, military families interested in intercountry adoption should find a Hague-accredited agency to work with either in the United States or in the country where they are based. Several agencies specialize in working with service members based abroad who are interested in adopting domestically or internationally.

According to AdoptUSKids, active service members must follow the laws of adoption of the state where they are currently based. Military families move often, which can complicate the process. Two laws regulating interstate adoptions will be important to military adoptive families: the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC) and the Interstate Compact on Adoption and Medical Assistance (ICAMA). Both laws were enacted to facilitate the placement of foster and adoptive children across state lines and ensure that families receive vital services. It is important that older children legally free for adoption have as many opportunities as possible to be placed with adoptive families, even if the family lives in another state. Although interstate adoptions are common, families do report delays and challenges when they seek to adopt a child living in a different jurisdiction. The best approach for military and other families to take when adopting from another state is to ask their agency of choice a lot of questions and also do as much research as possible about adoption laws in the state where their prospective adoptive child currently resides.

As active service members, military families are eligible for the Department of Defense adoption reimbursement program, which covers $2,000 in eligible adoption expenses per adoptee in one calendar year.⁵ Members of the armed forces are also eligible for up to twenty-one days of leave upon the adoption of a child. In addition to Medicaid if they qualify, pre-adoptive and adoptive children of active and retired service members are eligible for TRICARE benefits, the healthcare program of active and retired service members.⁶ Military family service centers should be able to provide members of the military with additional information about benefits they can expect to receive when they adopt a child. Service members should complete as much research as possible on their own as well and find an attorney skilled in military family adoption.

PROSPECTIVE GAY AND LESBIAN ADOPTIVE PARENTS

Sometimes a waiting child does have preferences in terms of an adoptive parent’s characteristics; this is often true when it comes to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) foster children. According to the Human Rights Campaign, LGBT youth are disproportionately represented in the foster care system.⁷ Sadly, many of these LGBT children and teens in the foster system are rejected or even abused and neglected because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. The discrimination or rejection that each may have experienced in their adopted or fostered lives can create a strong bond of understanding between gay or lesbian adoptive parent and LGBT child or teen.

Because there is such a need for accepting parents of LGBT foster youth and because of the large number of waiting children in general, lesbian and gay prospective adoptive parents of older children and teens are critically needed. Gay and lesbian parents bring different perspectives and experiences to parenting. Because of discrimination they themselves may have suffered in their lifetimes, lesbian or gay parents can be particularly empathetic to the pain of children who have been removed from their biological families through no fault of their own. Lesbian or gay parents may know more than some about feeling isolated or marginalized—feelings that so many older children and teens in foster care unfortunately experience. When lesbian or gay people or couples parent an adoptive child, that child may experience a sense of love and acceptance he or she never knew before. Gays and lesbians may confront barriers to adopting an older child internationally. The United States and other Hague-accredited nations allow gays and lesbians to adopt, but several nations have laws prohibiting adoption of children by gay or lesbian individuals or couples. According to Beth Brindo, LISW, “There was a time when many agencies held a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ attitude toward adoptions by gays and lesbians. Today, reputable agencies are not willing to turn a blind eye to falsification of sexual preference. In fact, the applications required by some countries actually ask prospective parents if they are gay or lesbian.”

Thus, older child adoption through an American public or private agency may be a lesbian or gay prospective parent’s best option. Still, prospective lesbian or gay parents may need help navigating older child adoption due to their sexual orientation and marriage status. More agencies are developing specific resources and supports for lesbian or gay applicants. It is highly recommended that prospective lesbian or gay adoptive parents research which public and private agencies are open to working with gay and lesbian applicants and choose an agency with which they feel comfortable. Find out which agencies are accredited through The Human Rights Campaign (www.hrc.org). Lesbian or gay singles and couples considering adoption should also join adoptive parent discussion forums and local in-person support groups geared toward the lesbian and gay parenting community to get inside information and advice from those who have already gone through the process.

An increasing number of public and private agencies are becoming sensitized to lesbian and gay prospective parents’ needs and many are even actively recruiting lesbian or gay foster or adoptive parents. The following statistics and information about the adoption of older children by gays and lesbians have been reported:

• Gays and lesbians are more likely to adopt children of a different race or culture, or special needs children, as compared to heterosexual adoptive parents. Fifty percent of adoptions by gay and lesbian parents are through the public child welfare system.⁸

• According to Gary J. Gates et al for The Williams Institute, same-sex couples raising adopted children are usually older, more educated and have more economic resources than other adoptive parents.⁹

• Legal victories allowing gays and lesbians to marry and changing social attitudes have contributed to the increase in adoptions by gay and lesbian couples since 2000.¹⁰ According to the 2010 census, same-sex couples are raising over 22,000 unrelated adopted children.¹¹ Most recent estimates hold that gays and lesbians are raising approximately 4 percent of all adopted children.¹²

It is important that lesbian or gay prospective adoptive parents research and understand local laws and practices that will impact their effort to adopt, prior to starting the process. Only two states in the United States, Utah and Mississippi, legally prohibit single and coupled gays and lesbians from adopting. While some states expressly prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation in adoption practice, most states do not, leaving much to the courts to decide. Even though a state may not expressly prohibit gays from adopting, unmarried persons may not be legally permitted to adopt jointly. As such, only one partner may be able to adopt a child. Laws governing same-sex second partner adoption are rapidly changing, so look into the laws in your state.

PROSPECTIVE ADOPTIVE PARENTS LIVING ABROAD AND NON-US CITIZENS

American citizens living abroad may adopt domestically or internationally. There are several agencies that specialize in working with US citizens living abroad who wish to adopt. It is critical that prospective adoptive parents living abroad research the adoption process and find an agency sensitive to their needs. These families should know that the US Department of State has advised US citizens living abroad who wish to adopt to follow the “adoption laws and procedures” of the country where they reside. This requirement pertains to families adopting US or foreign-born children, according to the National Council for Adoption.¹³

State laws govern the citizenship and residency requirements of adoptive parents. Most states allow lawful permanent residents to adopt an American child. Permanent residents of the United States must be very careful when adopting a foreign-born child, because there are legal restrictions on non-citizens adopting internationally. The US Department of State stipulates that either the non-citizen must be married to a citizen to adopt internationally or must meet certain criteria to be able to legally bring a non-US citizen child into the United States.¹⁴ US citizens living abroad, non-US citizens wishing to adopt American-born children and foreigners wishing to adopt a US-born child should work with an agency that can meet their needs and consult an immigration attorney knowledgeable about adoption.

PROSPECTIVE ADOPTIVE PARENTS OF COLOR

There is a disproportionate number of African-American children in the US foster care system. In 2011, while representing only 14 percent of the total population, 27.5 percent of children in out-of-home care were African-American. There also is a slightly disproportionate rate of Native American children in foster care nationally and, according to Alicia Summers and associates for the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges, in five states Latino/Hispanic children are overrepresented in the child welfare system.¹⁵

Researchers and child welfare professionals have a number of theories about why certain groups are disproportionately represented in the child welfare system. Some believe that racial discrimination influences the number of African-American children removed from the home. Others believe Caucasian-dominated agencies may not make adequate efforts to work with communities of color to address higher reported and substantiated rates of maltreatment. Additionally, staff may not be “culturally competent”—that is, they may not be educated about culturally specific parenting practices or problems in communities different from their own, leading to biases in how they handle cases and work with families. A Caucasian child protection services professional may have difficulty obtaining treatment and other services for a Latino family due to language barriers or being unfamiliar with the local community and services offered.

Others argue that disproportionality has more to do with corollary factors that increase the rates of child maltreatment in communities. They argue that higher rates of abuse and neglect do not occur in these communities because parents are of a certain race or ethnicity, but because of the prevalence of factors that have been linked to higher rates of child maltreatment such as poverty combined with substance abuse. Families living in poverty may have less access to preventive services that can help keep families together and quality therapeutic services to address addiction, domestic violence or mental illness.

The reasons for disproportionality are complex and continue to be studied. A number of organizations are working toward addressing the problem through staff training, advocating for preventive services and other measures.

Not only are there more African-American children in the system, but older children of color also are more difficult to place. Reasons include a smaller pool of prospective adoptive parents of color and greater hesitation among Caucasian prospective adoptive parents to adopt older children of color, possibly because they don’t want the child to be a minority in a largely Caucasian community, prejudice, racism or concerns they hold about adopting transracially.

Increasing the number of prospective adoptive parents of color may improve permanency for children of color who statistically experience longer stays in foster care. In recognition of this fact, many states have developed adoptive parent recruitment and support programs geared specifically toward certain racial and ethnic groups. There also are a number of adoption agencies that specialize in recruiting and working with prospective adoptive parents of color.