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CHAPTER

ONE

Importance of Play and Toys

Children love toys. From the colorful mobile overhead that attracts a baby’s attention, to the tower of LEGOs built by your little architect; well-designed toys stimulate your child’s mind, enhance creativity, and encourage activity.

Young ones absorb messages from toys through all stages of their growth. The kinds of toys selected and how your youngster plays with them will influence how well she meets her optimal learning potential. Choosing the right toys for her play is not easy. It can be a real challenge to find the right product, at the right time, for the right price.

And once you’ve done the above, there’s the added challenge of getting the maximum value from a toy.

We’ve all heard about IQ (Intelligence Quotient). It is a classic predictor of your child’s mental ability. I believe that your child’s PQ, his Play Quotient, is an equally vital factor, which affects how well your young one will attain the best of his physical, creative, and intellectual potentials.

Play is your child’s work. Through play children practice the basic skills needed in the classroom—and in life. Guided play in the right environment will help your child gain the tools she needs to sharpen her thinking, and heighten her sensitivity.

To assist your child in succeeding with skill building, we will look at the different ways your child uses toys, and you’ll become informed about finding the right toys, and skilled at helping your child expand his or her PQ.

How Toys Work

Research conducted by child-development specialists, psychologists, educators and others point out that the first five years in the life of the child are of the greatest consequence.

Many studies confirm the essential aspects of early mental, social and neurological development. Genetic factors are linked to learning and memory. Researchers have found that children who do not play and are rarely touched have brains that are 20 to 30 percent smaller than normal for their age. Researchers have found that toys and play stimulate more brain synapses per neuron.

These early years are intensely formative and are the period when children gain knowledge about themselves and about others, gain awareness of their environment, develop basic motor skills, discover many of their unique abilities, and gain self image and security that lasts a lifetime.

Like little sponges, children begin observing and absorbing from infancy. They learn by using all of their senses: sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. Through observation, mimicry, and experimentation, children learn about the world around them and begin to gain mastery of essential skills.

When a parent is involved with a baby—smiling at her, creating silly and different sounds, making the baby laugh—the parent becomes the baby’s first “Big Toy.” Fathers who enjoy close contact with their infants soon are distinguished from the mother by the different ways they play. The baby quickly learns to respond to different persons’ sounds and touches. Through such interchanges, the infant becomes conscious of individual people. Also, she becomes more aware of the environment around her.

The secondary motor stage of child development occurs during these first five years. It is the time when the most rapid physical, emotional, and mental growth takes place. And at each stage of this development, a child needs different kinds of stimulation, enhanced by different kinds of toys and different play strategies.

IMPORTANCE OF PLAY

Play Principles

Play is a natural phenomenon. Before you examine the toys to be used by your young one, it helps if you understand the principles of play. Of particular importance is understanding that play enriches both sides of the brain—right and left hemispheres. Thus, the underlying principle of play, smart play, is that the child will gather essential experiences necessary for her fullest cognitive, emotional, and physical development.

As infants grow they play with innumerable things around them: their hands, their toes, sunbeams coming in through the window. At the same time they discover sounds; they babble and talk to themselves. They become conscious of the separate parts of their bodies; they make distinctions in color, light, and sound.

How children interact with people and elements in their environment is revealing. We should stand back and observe them. As we watch them play, we come to know their play process, the ways they get frustrated, their tolerance levels, their curiosity and creative responses.

We want to be sure our children play with others of different ages and abilities so our own child can experience a full range of social interaction: patience, empathy, compassion, support, and honesty. The way he plays affects how he feels about himself.

A child plays alone, with other children, and with adults, and each style teaches him something different. Children help each other achieve increased degrees of sophistication. For example, children learn from other children by talking with and watching one another, by trying new scenarios, and exchanging information, even fantasies.

In the earliest stages, little ones play merely in proximity to others without being involved with them. They play alone and find satisfying activities for themselves. As they grow, they learn to share toys, give them away, and they fight over them.

When children enter nursery schools, childcare programs, parent cooperatives, or have visits away from home, they are introduced to new children, different toys and playthings, and other styles of playing. As they discover how to handle these situations, children strengthen their confidence, gain new experiences, expand responses and develop maturity.

Power of Play

Because of the power of play, you must understand your child’s need to explore, to meet and play with other children, and you must try not to interfere with your little one’s activity. Instead, serve as your child’s “Play Guide”—observe, enhance, and extend her experiences.

When playtime is ending, for example, it is important to give the child enough advance notice so she can have time to bring the activity to a satisfying close. If we respect our children’s playtime, the child is almost always more cooperative when they must change gears to eat, nap, or go elsewhere.

In play, children gain mastery over themselves and learn their own power in relationships with others. They grasp social values such as biases and responsibilities. They communicate better. They absorb concepts like making judgments. Each child expresses a unique style of play, and the ways he plays when he is young reflect how he will deal with others during later life.

Allow your child to select his own form of play, as his choices are important for his individual growth. Rigid rules can be a damper to natural self-expression. As parent and “Play Guide” honor your offspring’s early learning style and space. Included are also considering and providing appropriate skill-building toys.

Advantages of Play

Play experiences help the child to:

Gain an understanding of the world.

Act productively with other children and adults.

Get and hold the attention of others in a suitable way.

Enhance the ability to concentrate, an essential skill before he begins school.

Expand his natural curiosity, whet his ability to solve problems, and foster spontaneity. These are each central components of mastering the learning process.

When children enjoy what they are doing (provided what they are doing is positive behavior), there is less need for your discipline, or your worry. If they are having fun, children can play alone with blocks, construct buildings, or play with other children in mutual cooperative activities for long periods of time.

Adults sometimes forget the importance of play. Through their play, children tell us what they are thinking and how they are feeling. If there are problems their play will reveal them. Play Therapy is a successful method to treat children who are having difficulty adjusting, or have had traumas, emotional issues, or other problems. You can better understand your child if you listen and watch her at play.

Before you look at the different ways your child can use toys, and before you become conversant with finding the right toys, I would like you to first think about the important place toys have held in your own life.

I created the Childhood \Toy Memory Exercise for many of my workshops with parents and teachers. It works well alone or with a partner. If you are doing it alone you may want to tape the questions and then replay them with your eyes closed. If you are doing it with a partner each should take a turn at trying the exercise. Through the experience you will discover that, no matter how “adult” you are, the significance of certain toys and play events often remains vivid in your life.

Dr. Toy’s Childhood Toy Memory Exercise

Close your eyes. Get comfortable and relax. Take a deep breath. You or your partner says the following:

“Let us return to your early memories.

Imagine yourself as a child. Imagine yourself at play. Do you see yourself inside the house or outside in the yard? Can you remember a toy you played with frequently? Can you see that toy?

What is your toy’s color? Shape? Size? Can you smell it?

Can you hold it and turn it over easily in your hand?

Is the toy large? Small?

Are you holding it tightly?

Are you playing by yourself or with other children?

Can you remember how long that toy held your interest?

Did anyone try to take your toy from you? How did you feel?

Did you play with that toy in different ways and for a long time?

Do you still have that toy today in your treasured collection of childhood things?

What happened to that toy?

When you are ready open your eyes, and take a deep breath.”

Read this next section out loud. After asking a question, allow plenty of time for you and/or your partner to think and for various childhood images to emerge.

At this time think about the pictures evoked and think about or discuss what you remember with your partner. You may write down the memories, draw your memory and/or share the experiences with your partner.

Amazing, isn’t it? That special toy you played with as a child still, for many of you, remains vivid in your memory. If you do not have such recollections that, too, is significant. The lack of toys or memories of them affects us, too! Perhaps after this exercise you will better understand how important the toys are with which children play.

Toys (or their absence) are a formative part of childhood. Strong memories arise as soon as you allow your mind to return to your early years.

Sometimes those memories are painful ones of loss or anger. Many adults can remember the feelings of having a greatly loved doll or teddy bear suddenly pulled away or broken by a brother or sister. Or, perhaps, the memory is of never having owned a stuffed animal to cuddle. Or your parent may have given away a favorite toy, set of trains, or other treasured plaything. Long afterward one can still remember the pain of that experience, and adult behavior and/or attitudes may reflect it.

If you recognize that you might have some disturbing feelings from childhood, endeavor to examine what happened. Try to forgive your parents, siblings, or friend for doing something that may have hurt you. Put that pain into perspective, and allow it to fade from your memories. In that way you will be able to move ahead with your current life and new responsibilities.

If this approach doesn’t work, and something from the past is still troubling you, you may want to seek counseling. Getting to the bottom of the issue and working through old pain will allow you to fully enjoy the pleasure of playing with your own child, rather than not responding or using them as a substitute for your own childhood.

There are the happy recollections, too. Many people report the fun of building with their Erector sets, making towering creations, or building their first train layout that greatly impressed younger brothers and sisters. You may be surprised to know that pride in such accomplishments can last long into adulthood.

Childhood is full of magical moments: receiving that first dress-up doll, setting up the tracks of that first train (or watching Dad take over!), learning to play Jacks and Ball, jumping rope, doing tricks with your yo-yo, sailing a wooden boat, having an afternoon tea party with dolls, and teacups, and cooking over your little toy stove.

These are some of the vivid pictures, fondly recalled, that rush by when adults watch their own baby in his crib. Their new baby playing with his toes or with their fingers, or trying to catch light coming through the window, sparks scenes from the parents’ own childhood.

What toys will you provide to create those enchanting moments for your precious infant’s future joy?

Certainly the basic function of any toy is to give pleasure to a child. Whether high-tech or old-fashioned, toys open exciting new doors to fresh awareness. So, before evaluating or thinking about toys for your young one, try to think back to your own experiences with toys. It will strengthen the empathy you have, and better appreciate the needs of your child.

If you do remember many of these experiences, then toys were important in your childhood. You have an appreciation for toys, a good memory, and you were an active player. You probably still are. So please enjoy the rest of this book, and the special playtimes you will have with your child in what can be a most special, fun, “second childhood.”

Power of Memories

Independently several architects have told me that playing with blocks as a child helped influence them towards their career choice—building with bigger and better blocks. Teachers told me how they can remember the fun of playing “school” and making a decision to teach. Writers recall creating fantasy dramas: tales of adventure with roles for everyone, with puppets and dolls, and even the dog.

Have you ever made a connection like that?

You have the opportunity to enrich your child with similar, powerful inspirations. You can provide your child with new sensations that do not rely just on products you buy, but on the high value you place on playtime.

Creative playtime, whether it be with a stick a child has picked up in the park, or a hundred-dollar high-tech game, is what is really meaningful.

How the child plays, and what he gets out of play, are what’s paramount, not the cost of the plaything.

A parent’s role is a complex one: so many books to read, so many things to do and be responsible for—food, clothing, health. Equally complex is your child’s social development. Of course, playtime is one area that provides the most fun, relaxation, entertainment—and educational socialization—for everyone.

During playtime, you can help your little one imagine whole new worlds. Throughout your child’s life, such activities will stimulate creativity, sense of humor, sense of balance and proportion, wonder, reasoning, social development, and much more.

As I examine with you the different stages of development and suggest types of toys for each stage, you will learn basic techniques to encourage your child appropriately. You will also receive many tips on how to shop, clean toys, store them, recycle and otherwise become an active and more knowledgeable “Play Guide.”

Dr. Toy’s Questions About Childhood Toys

Did you have a lot of different toys to play with?

Did you have to share them with other children?

When you went to preschool were there ample toys?

Did you have good experiences with new playthings that you had never seen before?

Were you able to figure out how to play with such items yourself?

Did your parents help you figure it out?

Did your parents ask you to be quiet often?

Did you have a place where you could play?

Did your toys break easily or did they last for many years?

Did you enjoy playing with many toys? Or only a few?

Did you use toys to play games?

Did your toys make you imagine wonderful things?

Is a particular toy the reason you are now involved in a job or a hobby?

Did you have a hobby or a special skill that you enjoyed? Do you now?

Was there a special doll, bear, or train that you cherished?

Do you remember building with blocks and construction toys?

Find Playthings

These days, going into any toy store can be overwhelming. So many shelves are filled with a great many choices in every category! There are so many varieties today that any single store has great difficulty stocking all of them. The store’s buyer has to discriminate and make careful selections. So do you.

To find the right kind of toys, you may have to visit different toy stores, department stores, gift stores, search catalogs, the internet, craft shows, and also find stores handling secondhand, recycled toys.

You may start your search by visiting our website (http://www.drtoy.com) on the Internet. Dr. Toy’s Guide is our on-line magazine, which offers most kinds of toys and provides descriptions of over 5000 of our best, professionally selected, award winning products, including toys, books, software, tapes, apps, and much more.

You may also refer to Dr. Toy’s Smart Play Resources located on the site that we keep as current as possible with a selected list of suggested companies, and web site. On the site are toy stores to help you locate products.

I have carefully evaluated numerous items over 25 years to make the best choices for the annual “100 Best Children’s Products” and other features. The results are found in Dr. Toy’s Guide and include items for after-school, vacation, plus classic toys, green/eco-friendly and other kinds of toys and play products.

Wish List

Look at the different types of playthings. Match them to your child’s skills and interests. For example:

Construction products — help develop dexterity and building skills.

Board games — help children cooperate and learn with their friends. With your guidance they can also teach how to compete positively, and how to deal well with losing and playing again.

Puppets — help develop language skills and improve eye-hand coordination.

Dr. Toy Suggests When You Shop for Toys

Take your child along at least once a year, but it’s best to avoid the pre-holiday frenzy.

Make an outing of it. Let him show you the things he likes.

Watch what she looks at and is interested in. You will hear about items she’s seen on TV, played with at a friend’s house or talked over with friends.

Let him create a “Wish List.” Make notes and make a list of the items.

This list is a helpful guide for grandparents, and others who want to purchase a gift for your child.

Get your child involved in the selection process.

Prepare your child carefully ahead of time so she knows that everything that attracts her attention may not necessarily be purchased. The skill of saying “no” gently, but firmly—and sticking to it—is possibly a parent’s greatest challenge.

Make The Most of Toy Shopping

Analyze what she needs before going to the store. Her attention span is short so you will want to narrow the different choices into specific categories.

Give her the choice among two or three possibilities.

Gather a few possibilities, and then ask her, for example, “Which puzzle do you like?”

Screen the products with the help of our guidelines. Giving your child several options is important to her learning process. This helps her become more discerning and self-confident by allowing her free choice while you exercise the necessary control over what she chooses from. By giving her choices, you show that you trust her judgment and she will become more confident and a more careful and knowledgeable consumer.

In each chapter we will discuss specific things to look for when selecting toys for each stage of a child’s growth, but there are some basic points that you should remember for any toy that you buy.

Shopping Guidelines

What are some of the qualities to look for when selecting a good product?

DESIGN. The product must have been tested carefully by the manufacturer with the intended age group. The best possible materials should have been used in assembly. The item should be durable. The toy should be easy for the child to use and to keep clean.

QUALITY. Consider what materials are used to make the article. Is the product appealing in color, shape, and workmanship? We expect to get what we pay for but, unfortunately, sometimes this is not true and we are disappointed.

DURABILITY. How long will the selection last? Is it childproof? Can it be easily broken? A plaything should be long lasting, substantial, and made of good materials.

SAFETY. The toy must be tested by an independent toy testing laboratory. It must meet safety standards and requirements. See more details on toy safety later in this chapter and throughout the book.

VALUE. You will want a product that lasts as long as possible and has many different and long-lasting uses. Good examples of toys with high play value are blocks, construction toys, and yo-yos. The item should have clear instructions so you and your child are guided to its best use by the designer and the manufacturer.

APPROPRIATENESS. The toy must fulfill the usual play patterns for the child’s age. Products that are too complex are easily frustrating. Toys that are too easy are boring. When necessary, show the child how to use the plaything properly. It’s best, however, to allow your child to discover how to use the product himself, depending on his age and ability.

Dr. Toy’s Product Guidelines

Another important way to look at toys is by evaluating their active, creative, and educational features.

Active playthings improve the child’s physical activity and exercise. They help develop large and small muscles, eye-hand coordination, dexterity, and encourage children to learn and practice climbing, crawling, and improving balance.

Items that assist in active play include balls, bicycles, blocks, skates, punching bags, jump ropes, pounding toys, and ride-ons. Other active products include construction toys, adventure props, and manipulatives such as puzzles. Children do enjoy “destructive” play, which means breaking down or mixing up things like sand, clay, or blocks. Kids like to build up, take apart, and punch things. Why not? It’s fun!

Creative toys stimulate the child’s imagination at all levels. She can experience surprise, can expand her thinking, and she will be encouraged in self-expression.

Examples of creative toy products are blocks, crafts, dollhouses, mirrors, musical instruments, puppets, stuffed animals, and art supplies. You will also want to select items to foster the child’s dramatic ability, social skills, musical and artistic development. Puppets, games and cooperative activities help children to interact with each other, while being considerate and taking turns may be fostered with baby dolls and art or music activities.

Educational aspects of a toy help a child learn specific skills, and sometimes several skills at once. Any toy can be educational if the child’s shown how to use it in an enriching way. The right object can help with reading and writing, and can build skills, which prepare the child for science and counting. You will want a balance of playthings to stimulate your child’s mental abilities, challenge his thinking, and help him in problem solving.

Some items, which contribute in the educational arena, are board games, blocks, books, checkers, construction toys, pegboards, puzzles, science projects, hobbies (stamps or coin collecting), software, CD’s, audio- and videotapes, apps, microscopes, telescopes and other special equipment.

Certainly you, as “Play Guide,” must think about future school participation, after-school activities, vacation times, sickness and other encounters the child will have. How can you assure that the toys he plays with now will help ready him for future demands? The answers can be found in this book.

Dr. Toy’s Tips on Selecting Toys

Is the toy safe? Are there any potential hazards? Is the product too small? Any sharp edges or loose ties? Is it nontoxic? Durable? Will it take rough treatment? Does it meet Consumer Product Safety Standards? Is there a guarantee on the product?

Is the product fun? A toy or children’s product is supposed to entertain the child. It should amuse, delight, excite, and be enjoyable.

Is the product appropriate? Is this toy or product significant now? Does it fit the child’s age, skills, and abilities? Will it hold his or her interest? Will s/he use the product happily?

Is the product well designed? Is it easy to use? Does it look good? Feel good?

Is the product versatile? Is there more than one use for the product?

Is the product durable? Will it be something that will last a long time? Children play hard and subject their toys to a lot of abuse and wear.

Is the product enticing to the child? Does it offer an opportunity for fun, to learn, and to think? Does it help her learn about her living environment? Is the toy or product inviting?

Will the product help the child expand his creativity? With the right products the child can expand his imagination in art, crafts, hobbies, language, reading, music, movement, and drama.

Dr. Toy’s Tips on Selecting Toys

Will the toy frustrate or challenge the child? Does the toy offer something new to learn, to practice, or try? Will the child know how to use the product? Or, will it be too difficult to use without adult assistance?

Does the product match the package and the package match the product? If the toy does not match ads or packaging it can be disappointing. Is age-grading clear? Is the item in the store like the product shown in the print or TV advertisement?

Will the toy help nurture childhood? Does the product help the child express emotions, experience concern for others, practice positive social interaction? Does it provide value to childhood? Or are there any violent, sexist, or other negative aspects to the product?

What will the toy teach? Does it help expand positive self-esteem, values, understanding, cultural awareness? Does it offer practice in skill-building? Eye-hand coordination? Fine and large motor skills? Communication? Does it educate the child about the environment? the community? the world? About History? Computers? Other skills?

Can the product be cleaned and reused? If it is not washable, can it be cleaned in some practical way?

Can I afford this toy? Does the price match the value received?

Dr. Toy’s Tips on Toy Safety

When selecting toys you want to be certain that all safety standards have been met. Check that the toy’s age range on the package is appropriate for your child.

Make a note about the manufacturer and the name of the product in your Playbook (described in greater detail later in this chapter). If the company has a customer-service number, jot it down. If there is any problem later you can report it or call for replacement information.

Be especially careful about objects designed for children under three years. Protect your baby and toddler in every way, not only with the toys you buy, but also with tiny things in the house that can be grabbed and put into the mouth.

The following tips are important; please review them carefully and keep your child’s safety in mind at all times.

Problems with a toy should be brought to the store’s attention. Tell the manager about any defects; the store will want to know. If the toy is faulty you should obtain a refund and/or be helped to locate a substitute. Remember to keep receipts.

Economics of Toys

Toys can be expensive. Buying good toys, however, does not have to cost a fortune if you select carefully. Purchasing a lot of things that only sit around unused makes no sense. You want interest and use. You want to be economical and buy smart. Use your time for wise toy buying. You can provide your child with many experiences that do not dent your pocketbook.

Dr. Toy’s Tips on Toy Safety

To make your child’s toys safe be sure to check for these potential problems before you buy a toy and recheck all of your child’s toys from time to time.

No sharp edges or broken pieces.

No loose ties.

No little pieces that can be loosened or fall off.

No small objects for children under three.

Always confirm any paint like finger paints is non-toxic.

Check reliability of the company and store where you purchase your toy.

Buy toys from a store that you know and trust.

Buy from a company that guarantees its product and confirms that each product produced has been carefully tested for safety and for being appropriate to your child’s developmental stage.

Some toys will be used over and over again and you will discover that these toys are meeting some special needs in your son or daughter. Items that become ragged with use over the years (with great resistance to their being replaced!) are often stuffed animals, a doll—perhaps a soft doll—and books. Activity toys like a loved tricycle, scooter or a wagon are often given up reluctantly as the child’s size increases.

Such playthings prorate to a negligible cost over the years, but more importantly, their value increases far beyond any dollar amount. For example:

Your child’s emotional development will be enhanced when he plays with soft, cuddly toys.

Mentally, she will be strengthened when she has a variety of books to stretch her mind.

Physically, she will be empowered when she has a push-pull toy to walk and steer ahead of herself.

Creatively, he can grow when he uses finger or water paints with which to color.

In addition to toys, many objects around the house can be used for learning, such as measuring cups, pots and pans, wooden spoons, plastic bowls, or such complementary things as fabric, shells, and pinecones, which make for lots of merriment, and are accessible and inexpensive playthings.

For example, you can drape an intriguing, washable fabric on an old bridge table and create a great playhouse.

Shells and pinecones are great props for that handmade shack built on a desert island after a shipwreck.

The dining-room chairs, tip-tilted in strategic ways, form a wonderful castle or, perhaps, a cave, or a clubhouse.

Play itself does not cost money. Play is built on common sense spontaneity and imagination.

Toys Teach

Consider examples of the Ways Toys Teach:

The child’s first sense of color, shapes, sizes, and weights comes from manipulating products like puzzles and shape sorters.

A child tests and figures things out with projects like assembling models.

The child learns concentration playing card and other games.

While playing with blocks, the child gains skills needed for reading and math. He also learns about balance and selection—decision-making by shape and size. And he learns about the need to adapt, and to be flexible when he realizes he must make changes. He is also being creative and adaptive in fitting pieces together in new forms and shapes.

Dr. Toy’s Tips on Toy Use and Storage

Toys should be easily accessible to the child.

Boxes can hold a lot of toys. Label them so it’s easy to determine the contents, or use clear boxes for quick identification.

Create sturdy shelves to hold boxes, games, and larger toys.

A hammock is great for storing stuffed animals, or a clothes line (with clothespins that snap open) can be hung from the ceiling or across a corner.

If you buy a toy chest, be sure it has a safety lock. Children have been caught inside chests and been unable to get out. Some toy chests can also be difficult for a young child to reach in and out of. It is preferable to have current toys on open shelves where toys can be easily seen, handled and returned.

Dr. Toy’s Tips on Toy Use and Storage

Do not have too many toys and games cluttering the floor; it can be dangerous. If toys are easy to find and easy to put away, it will be more agreeable to your child to take care of them. They will last longer, and your offspring will have much less frustration when she wants to find something.

Children can learn to put toys away. This skill, part of Montessori’s teaching principles, is an important lesson. It’s a good way for your young one to learn to take responsibility.

Occasionally recycle the toys for fresh play so your child doesn’t get bored. (It’s also a good way to renew your child’s interest in old toys.)

Foam bats or bop bags (knock down they return upright) are useful in showing an acceptable way to ventilate angry or frustrated feelings.

Sorting, choosing, trying various shaped puzzle pieces and puzzle blocks heightens understanding of dissimilar sizes and how they can relate. This activity also gives significance to differentiating colors.

Games such as ring toss improve dexterity and focus.

Puppets expand communication skills.

Board games can improve social skills.

Books expand information, imagination, and understanding.

To fine-tune artistic talent, art supplies, craft kits or creative software programs are good choices.

A child’s competitive spirit—a vital survival tool—is enhanced by a board game, computer or positive video games. They’re a lot of fun, too.

Toy Storage

Once you have purchased your young one’s toys, the next challenge is to find the best place to store them so that they are neat and reasonably organized.

The Playbook

Consider keeping a “Playbook” — a notebook with ideas that apply to your child and tips from your reading and research. You can keep notes also of observations you make of your child’s play, her favorite activities, her “wish list,” and favorite toys. You might record birthday gifts and who gave them, and funny tidbits you want to remember years from now. You can keep photos of special toys, of the people who gave them, and of your child playing with them. The photos are a nice addition to the “Thank you!” note sent in your child’s own words or writing.

Be sure to note the places where you were able to purchase the best toys. This would also be a good place to store your receipts and keep a list of the names of manufacturers you have found reliable.

Observe Children at Play

As has been mentioned, a parent who watches play patterns is versed in the child’s changing play needs.

Play depends upon the young person’s willingness to experience her improvisations. It is her spirit—her inner being—that suggests unexpected twists and turns in her perceptions, that creates her laughter and funny faces, that turns a simple rock into a toad, a twig into an elf, a gesture into a regal dismissal of courtiers.

Stimulate your little girl to draw from her inner self and infuse her playthings with her imagination. Provide her with boxes, fabrics, hats, and unusual props. They can give her a “warm-up” for more sophisticated playthings.

Here are a few guidelines that apply to all children at play. You will find more specific information as we discuss types of products for each age.

Expand your child’s playing repertoire. You may do this by introducing new toys gradually and allowing her to explore and discover new things. In the case of games she will need your assistance at first to learn to play by the rules. It’s fun to play with games of all kinds like Candy Land, Monopoly, Parcheesi, Othello, Scrabble, Apples to Apples, and of course, checkers, or chess with your child.

Many toys are created for the child’s own self-discovery. Toys like LEGOs, Erector sets, Playmobil, Tinker Toys, and many other construction toys and wooden blocks open up hours of imaginative entertainment, involvement and pride of achievement.

Your child has the ability to manipulate, to experiment, and to try new things. Children learn best in the early years by trial and error, observation and comparison, and discovery of their own abilities and those of others they may want to follow.

Help your child be a good player, to take turns, to share, to learn how to win and to lose. Whether as a child or when grown to adulthood, a person who is a good loser and who does not quit is always a winner. A good loser is not just a being good sport; a good loser exerts confidence and knows that “losing” is just a temporary setback. If he keeps on playing he is on his way to ultimate success. Discovering this is a lesson in strength and stamina all kids need to master. Also consider selecting cooperative games that everyone plays and has fun finding solutions.

Dr. Toy’s Tips on Child Observation

Observe what occurs in your child’s play and write down important events in your Playbook.

Watch how he shares and how he plays with others.

How does she use toys? Is there a favorite she returns to? Encourage curiosity and initiative. Does she find new uses for her toys?

Watch how your child masters skills. Does he take time to discover new ways to play? Is he impatient or easily distracted?

Does your child follow directions? Does she use ingenuity?

Notice the types of toys with which he spends the most time. What does he most like to do with them? What does he not like?

When you instill a sense of fun in your youngster, you open her eyes to the most powerful of long-term goals: the eagerness and the motivation to absorb knowledge. To learn!

A child who plays well is being prepared for academic learning. If he has had a strong, happy, and productive playtime when young, he will be a better student, prepared to make the most of his education. He will have improved concentration, be more focused, and be able to express himself well orally, and in writing.

If, for example, you have a personal, well-established reading habit, and if you also read every day to your young child, she will enjoy books. Keep in mind that in this era children are exposed to fast-moving information and exponentially advancing technology. Sometimes it is difficult to get her just to sit down and focus on reading. You need to set the example. “Turn off the TV and turn on her mind!” When you have to be away, or as a gift, make a tape of her favorite story. She will love listening to your voice as she follows it in the book (much to the delight of your baby-sitter).

You might ask your little one’s grandparents to tape stories and send the tape along with the books they read. What a delight to have granny nearby, even when she can’t be there to read before bedtime.

We want our children to be emotionally resilient, stable, and smart. Use their playtime to achieve this.

You Are Your Child’s First Big Toy!

Throughout infancy and childhood, it is how you play with your children, what you do together, and your playfulness and positive responses to their questions that are the crux of their emotional health, well-being, and self-confidence.

“The family that plays together, stays together,” and has lots more joy together! Keep in mind the real reason, perhaps, for having children. Do your best to give your children happy childhoods. Help them grow and become stable, responsible adults who do not lose their balance, good humor, enthusiasm for life or joie de vivre.

Recall your childhood memories that keep you in touch with your own child’s world. Your long-term hopes for your child will enable her favorite “Big Toy” to be the best toy of all!

Every Day Is Playtime

Remember that your child needs time every day to play. If possible, join him for short periods as you can. In the long run, your child will be happier, brighter, and your relationship will be much better.

Dr. Toy’s Checklist on How to Make the Best Use of Toys

Allow your child to discover the toy and explore it fully.

Do not interfere, even when he makes “mistakes,” unless frustration sets in.

Rotate the toys your child plays with to avoid his becoming bored.

Check on toys frequently to be sure nothing is broken.

Create a space for your child to have his or her own play area.

Give your child time to replace the toys he’s used.

Make sure you have a good mix of toy types and other play products.

Be careful that there are not too many playthings out, which may confuse or overwhelm the child.

Dr. Toy’s Checklist on How to Make the Best Use of Toys

Encourage your offspring to balance play with time to read and to exercise.

Be a playmate when it fits, and nourish communication skills.

If your child is going to play with a board game, be sure he understands the rules of the game. This is a perfect time for you both to play, and talk with each other and have fun.

If batteries are required, be sure they are on hand and operating. Test them. Show your child how to turn off the toy if it does not do that automatically.

Have fun together every day and enjoy her unique gifts. Notice and appreciate your child’s creative use of toys.

My daughter, now a young adult with a child of her own, still enjoys playing musical tapes, sharing a board game, and reading excerpts aloud from books. However, as we laugh together we both keep a close eye on her son as he rapidly discovers new objects to play with. I find I’ve shared with my grandson the experiences she had when she was little. There is, I think, great satisfaction in continuity and sharing.

Perhaps you are a collector of toys: dolls, trains, teddy bears, dollhouses, miniatures. Collecting such childhood treasures is a great delight. So, as you find wonderful toys for your child, think about getting a few special ones for yourself! Wise executives and parents know that a small toy can do wonders for stressful afternoons when one must take some time out. Play recharges the batteries. Look for that executive yo-yo, gyroscope or kaleidoscope, or wonderful toy, doll or teddy bear when you are in your favorite toy store.

Everyone can enjoy toys—now is the perfect time.