Читать книгу The Secret of Happy Parents: How to Stay in Love as a Couple and True to Yourself - Steve Biddulph - Страница 18

In many cultures a family is a source of pride, but for Westerners our most fervent hope when we go out with our family is usually just to avoid embarrassment! In our culture we are not encouraged to be proud of our parenthood or our children. Think about it for a moment; if your children visit you at your workplace, do you glow with pride or do you wince and try and hide them away? To travel with young children in Australia, England or the US, especially on public transport, is to be in a state of perpetual apology. Yet in Asia, Southern Europe, Africa or Latin America children are a passport to instant friendliness, generosity and compliments.

Family life used to be honoured. In the ancient societies, such as the Vedic culture of India, to cultivate a lifelong erotic and companionable relationship, to lovingly and attentively raise children, to earn a simple livelihood, to prepare food and keep house with art and style, was revered and respected. ‘Huh!’ you’re saying. ‘Nobody reveres me much!’ You may well have come to feel that family life is ordinary. After all, you are just doing the same as everyone else. It’s an easy mistake to make – after all, what’s enlightening about rushed meals, Marmite stains on your clothes and sleep deprivation? From nappies to teenage rave parties, it all looks like one big chance to fail. Yet think about this for a moment. Would you rather be rich, powerful, influential, famous or loved? And is being loved something that you would be willing to earn?

Family life can be drudgery, but it can also be the making of you as a wonderful human being, and partly this is a matter of your attitude. Parenting is a profession. Marriage is a consummate art. So they will take a little time to master. Accept you are a learner like every single other person on the earth. Forget about self-development workshops, growth weekends and improvement courses. Being a parent will teach you assertiveness. You’ll get relaxation training (in the guise of fatigue!). You’ll acquire communication skills, aerobic exercise, time management, inner-child work, and every other kind of self-development you could ask for, in a twenty-year, non-stop marathon.