Читать книгу Schoolgirl Missing: Discover the dark side of family life in the most gripping page-turner of 2019 - Sue Fortin, Sue Fortin - Страница 12

Neve forced herself not to break into a run. She wanted to put as much distance between her and Lee as possible. It had been harder than she imagined seeing him again. And she hadn’t been prepared for the mix of emotions it had stirred up.

She could feel the tears sting her eyes as she battled with the memories of what happened that August. The festival had been a watershed moment for her and Megan, as they danced to the music, drank alcohol and took whatever substances Lee had on offer. It should have been the start of her and Megan growing up and experiencing life. They had so much they wanted to do together.

Neve headed across the meadow. She couldn’t face going home just yet. She didn’t want to bump into anyone in the village in the state she was in. She followed the path along the river bank, cutting across the top of the meadow. From here, she could take the long route around the back of the village and into Long Acre Lane.

The meadow grass tickled Neve’s ankles as she circumnavigated the field, following the curve of the boundary round towards the river. Clumps of yellow buttercups, dandelions and patches of red and white clover carpeted the ground like a patchwork quilt. As she walked along, the sun broke free from behind a cloud, making the water look like a sparkly glitter ball.

Willow mooched around, her nose close to the ground, snuffling away at the assortment of smells. Neve stopped to watch a pair of swans glide past, looking serene and elegant. She closed her eyes for a moment, taking in the warmth of the sun, the sound of the river gently rolling its way along and the chirp of a thrush calling from the trees.

It was a gorgeous spot with the stone bridge in one direction and the rolling South Downs National Park opposite. No doubt there was many a picture on social media with the hashtags #Ambleton #gorgeousview #beautiful #perfectspot. Neve couldn’t deny the beauty of the little village snuggled in the valley.

‘I thought that was you,’ came a voice behind her.

Neve jumped and spun round to see Jake coming towards her. She turned away again and wiped the tears from her face with her fingertips. ‘Just on my way home,’ she said, trying to muster up a light-hearted tone.

‘Neve? Are you OK?’

She felt his hand on her shoulder and she turned to face him.

‘I’m fine. Really.’ Even to her own ears she sounded anything but fine.

‘Really, you’re not,’ said Jake. He pulled her into him and stroked her hair.

The kindness of his touch, just being in his arms, was such a comfort. It took her by surprise and she allowed herself the luxury of his reassurance.

‘It’s been a bad day,’ she said eventually, pulling away from him.

‘Want to tell me about it?’

‘I won’t bore you with the details,’ she said. ‘There was an incident at the bus stop this morning with Poppy and some of the kids from the local school. I had to intervene.’

‘Is she OK?’

‘Yeah. She’s fine. It’s me who has gone to pieces.’

‘It’s amazing how much emotion children can evoke.’

‘You’d make a great dad,’ Neve found herself saying.

‘I can’t wait to have kids. I just need to find the right person to settle down with first. What about you? Do you want more kids?’

‘I do. Absolutely do,’ said Neve, looking out across the water. ‘Kit doesn’t, though.’

‘Ah, tricky that one.’

‘And before you ask, yes, we did talk about this before we got married. I just thought he’d change his mind eventually. I didn’t realise it was a for ever decision.’

She felt a tear slide its way down her cheek and she dashed it away. What was wrong with her? Crying like this? It wasn’t her style.

Again, Jake put his arms around her, resting his chin on her head. She could hear his heart thudding through his chest – a steady, reassuring beat. Neve lifted her head, her mouth stopping a hair’s breadth from Jake’s. He moved forward, kissing her. A small flutter of a kiss, as if testing the waters. Neve felt herself respond. He kissed her again, only this time longer and deeper. Neve gave a small whimper as her body curved to his and his broad hand slid down her spine.

‘I can make you happy,’ said Jake, breaking from kissing her, but still keeping her close. ‘We both want the same thing.’

Neve permitted herself to fantasise over his offer. She would be with someone who actually wanted a baby as much as she did. It would be her ultimate dream come true. She’d have to give up Kit and Poppy, of course. Was she prepared to do that?

It was a sobering thought and with it the bubble of desire burst. She pulled back from Jake and out of his arms.

‘Oh, Jake, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.’ She put her hand to her forehead. ‘I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking straight.’

He blew out a long breath, a resigned look on his face. ‘Don’t be sorry,’ he said. ‘I shouldn’t have come on to you like that.’

‘Let’s just forget that happened,’ said Neve, although she knew full well she wouldn’t be able to.

‘No, let’s not,’ said Jake.

‘What?’

‘I don’t want to forget that. Forgetting means it meant nothing. And whether or not it’s the right time, or if there will ever be a right time, it did mean something to me. It still does.’ He went to hold her hands but changed his mind. ‘Don’t dismiss this as nothing.’

Neve looked into Jake’s eyes which flamed with a passion that matched his words. The intensity startled her. He was right, it shouldn’t be dismissed as nothing but she also knew she couldn’t entertain the idea further. ‘I need to get home,’ was the only thing Neve could think to say, as she turned and broke into a jog across the meadow and out onto Copperthorne Lane, Willow trotting along beside her.

Neve checked her watch. Bugger! She had arranged with St Joseph’s that she would collect Poppy from school that day, so she could have a chat with the teacher about how the day had gone for Poppy, and whether there needed to be any extra support in light of the bus stop incident.

Neve just had time to drop Willow at home and jump in her car to get to the school for three o’clock.

Twenty minutes later, Neve was seated in the head’s office, with Poppy’s teacher sitting on the opposite seat.

‘Thank you for coming in, Mrs Masters,’ said Mrs Ogden, smiling at Neve. ‘We’ve kept a close eye on Poppy today and Miss Walker, the classroom assistant, has spoken to me as well.’

‘How has she been?’ asked Neve. She went to cross her legs and was horrified to notice her once-white Converse were now sporting a sludgy dried tide mark courtesy of the footpath around the meadow. Damn it. Neve tucked her legs under the chair instead.

‘On the whole Poppy has been fine,’ assured Mrs Ogden. ‘She’s engaged with the lessons, no particular mood swings or any difficult behaviour. The only thing we did notice was at lunchtime she was particularly upset because one of the other children wouldn’t sit next to her.’

‘Ah, that will be Callum,’ said Neve. ‘He was going to share his cucumber sandwiches with her.’ She gave what she hoped was a knowing look.

‘Oh, I see,’ said Mrs Ogden.

‘Yes, apparently he had promised her yesterday.’

‘Right, it seems Callum had a change of heart.’

‘How did Poppy take it?’

‘Got a little angry. Wouldn’t eat her lunch at first. Miss Walker sat with her and persuaded her to eat something. Poppy wouldn’t actually say what was wrong and in the end, she stood up, pushed her chair backwards and marched off.’

‘Sorry,’ said Neve. ‘As you know, that’s her way of dealing with difficult situations at the moment. To walk off.’

‘We spent a lot of time with Poppy this afternoon, talking her reactions through. It was tricky as she wouldn’t tell us what was wrong,’ said Mrs Ogden. ‘However, now we know, we can perhaps make some headway with her tomorrow. If that’s all right with you?’

‘Of course,’ said Neve. ‘We have spoken to Poppy about the dangers of walking off but talking to you it’s highlighted, to me at least, that she still needs a lot of support in processing her emotions and how she interprets situations.’

They talked some more about Poppy and her behaviour and Neve felt reassured that the school were keeping a close eye on her daughter and constantly striving for ways to provide Poppy with the tools to deal with everyday situations. The school’s reputation for their pastoral care was one of the reasons her and Kit had decided to move Poppy there.

‘Thank you so much for all your support,’ said Neve, as the meeting came to a close and she stood to leave. ‘We do appreciate it.’

‘Not at all. It’s our pleasure,’ said Mrs Ogden. ‘Now, I think Poppy should be sitting outside the office waiting for you. Miss Walker was going to bring her along.’

Poppy was indeed outside, reading a book, lost in her own world. She looked so young and vulnerable, thought Neve. Poppy looked up and seeing Neve, closed her book and stood up.

‘I’m hungry,’ she said.

‘Well, we’d better get you home, then,’ said Neve, taking Poppy’s bag from her. She thanked Mrs Ogden again and headed out to the car.

‘Your shoes are muddy,’ said Poppy, as she fastened her seat belt.

‘I know,’ said Neve, trying hard to push away the thought of her and Jake down by the river.

‘You’ve gone red,’ said Poppy.

‘Have I?’ said Neve, aware that her cheeks were burning from a mix of guilt and pleasure. ‘It’s rather hot in here.’ She slipped off her jacket to emphasise her explanation.

‘You’ve got red paint on your face,’ continued Poppy, pointing to Neve’s right cheek.

Neve’s hand flew to her face and she pawed her skin with her fingertips. It must have been from where Jake touched her earlier. Good job Kit hadn’t seen it first. ‘I must have got paint on my fingers when I moved my art stuff earlier.’ Neve said, trying to make her lie sound casual. ‘Has it gone?’

‘Still a bit there,’ said Poppy, watching as Neve rubbed her face again. She gave Neve a long stare. ‘It’s gone now.’

‘Good, now let’s get going,’ said Neve.

‘Callum didn’t sit with me today,’ said Poppy, as they drove home. ‘He sat with Lydia.’

‘Oh, that’s a shame but never mind,’ said Neve.

‘Why would I not mind about it? I do mind. He promised he would sit next to me. I don’t like him anymore.’

‘Maybe he will sit with you tomorrow.’

‘I don’t want him to.’

‘OK, in that case, you don’t have to,’ said Neve, realising she wasn’t going to reason with Poppy at all. Some battles weren’t worth the fight.

‘That’s someone else who has broken a promise,’ continued Poppy.

‘Sometimes people make promises they can’t always keep.’

‘I still don’t like him.’

They sat in silence for the rest of the journey as Neve navigated their way out of the town and onto the country lane which lead back to Ambleton. They crossed the stone bridge into the village.

Automatically, Neve looked over towards Copperthorne Lane and her thoughts turned to Jake and what he’d said. Had he really been making her a serious offer? She couldn’t quite work it out. There was no doubt about the spark between them. She had to admit, she found him nothing short of sexy and when he had kissed her, that was something else. She couldn’t remember responding like that to Kit in a long time. And then Jake had said how much he wanted children and how he could make her happy. She’d surprised herself confiding in him, but it had seemed so natural to do so.

Thinking about it now with her detached logical head on, could she really give up everything she had? Could she give up Kit? Could she give up Poppy? All for the promise of what … a baby? Is that what Jake had meant? Surely, she was reading too much into it all. Jake’s proposal was quite full-on, it wasn’t like they were even involved in a physical relationship yet. She paused. That wasn’t true actually. The kiss had upgraded it from an emotional relationship to a physical one and sleeping together was only a matter of time. If she allowed it to happen, that was. Just because they hadn’t slept together didn’t mean it wasn’t physical. Was his offer worth trading in what she had for what she wanted? Did she want Jake, or did she want what he could give her?

Within a couple of minutes, Neve was pulling up outside their house, the wheels of her car crunching on the gravel drive.

‘Would you like a drink and a biscuit?’ asked Neve, plonking her handbag down on the kitchen chair once inside the house.

‘Everyone breaks promises,’ said Poppy.

Neve was used to Poppy’s abruptness when it came to conversations. It wasn’t unusual for minutes, hours or even days to elapse before Poppy responded to a comment. Mostly, Neve and Kit were able to keep up with the disjointed way Poppy held conversations.

Neve took the milk from the fridge. ‘I expect we all do but as I said, sometimes it’s not on purpose.’

‘You broke a promise to Dad.’

‘I did?’ Neve replaced the lid on the milk bottle and pushed the glass towards her daughter.

‘When you got married you said you promised to love him for ever.’

A little flutter rose in Neve’s chest. ‘That’s right.’ She returned the milk bottle to the fridge. ‘And I will.’

The fourteen-year-old dipped her finger into the glass and then let the drips of milk fall onto the counter.

‘Don’t do that,’ said Neve, tearing off a sheet of kitchen roll and wiping the work top. ‘It’s dirty.’

‘Your shoes are dirty,’ said Poppy.

Back to the shoes. ‘I know. I’ll clean them in a minute.’

‘You got them dirty when you were down by the river today,’ said Poppy, now stirring her finger around in the milk.

Neve stopped mid-wipe. Her heart fluttered harder this time. ‘I went for a walk. It’s nice along there,’ she said, trying to regain her composure. She dropped the kitchen roll into the bin.

‘Did Jake get his shoes dirty?’

Neve, now with her back to Poppy, closed her eyes for a moment. How the hell had Poppy seen her at the river with Jake? She stalled for time. ‘I don’t know if Jake got dirty shoes today.’

‘Why not? You were with him.’

Neve turned to look at Poppy and gave another smile as she went about making herself a cup of tea. Trying to sound casual, she spoke. ‘When did you see me at the river?’

‘Today.’

Neve swallowed hard. ‘I didn’t see you.’

‘We had swimming lessons.’

Neve filled in the missing information. It was just her luck that the St Joseph’s school bus must have gone across the bridge today at the exact same time she was with Jake by the river. The coach always took a short-cut through the village to get to the leisure centre in a different town where there was more specialised equipment and staff for St Joseph’s children. That explained it.

‘Ah, yes. I forgot you had swimming today.’ Neve looked up to the ceiling. Of all the days! ‘I went to pick up some paints from Jake,’ she said, grateful that an excuse had sprung to mind from nowhere. A plausible one too. ‘For my next painting. I wanted to check it was the right colour before I bought it. We had a little stroll by the river to look at the flowers.’

‘And to kiss.’

Neve’s heart almost leapt into her throat. Poppy saw them kissing. Shit. Double shit.

‘Neve and Jake sitting in a tree. K I S S I N G,’ sang Poppy as she swirled her finger around faster in the milk.

‘Stop that!’ snapped Neve.

Poppy slowly removed her finger from the milk before licking it. Then she continued with the chanting. ‘Neve and Jake walking by the river. K I S S I N G.’

‘Poppy! That’s enough.’ Neve slapped her hand on the work top. Sometimes Poppy would be so engrossed in what she was doing, it was hard to get her attention. A sudden noise often brought her back to reality. Neve wasn’t having any such luck today. ‘Poppy!’ She raised her voice above the repetitive verse. ‘STOP!’ Again, she slammed the counter.

Neve could feel the panic rising in her. Poppy had to stop. Kit would be back anytime now. Before she could consider the consequences of what she was doing, Neve stormed around the island counter and grabbed Poppy by the shoulders, practically pulling her off the bar stool and to her feet. Neve’s face was inches from Poppy’s. The teenager’s warm breath pummelled her skin as she carried on chanting, her voice becoming louder and louder, the words spilling out faster and faster.

Neve could hear her own voice competing with Poppy’s, telling her to stop, to be quiet, but Poppy was in no mood for compliance.

Then Neve’s hand left Poppy’s shoulder and made contact with her face instead. The crack of the slap was like a branch being snapped. Neve gasped and took a step back.

‘You hit me,’ said Poppy incredulously, as she clasped both her hands to her cheek.

‘Oh, Poppy, I’m so sorry,’ said Neve, still not quite comprehending what she had done. ‘I … I didn’t mean to. It wasn’t … I didn’t hit you. It was a slap.’ Somehow in her mind a slap sounded better than a hit, but Neve also knew neither were acceptable. What the hell had she done?

Two big globes of tears rolled down Poppy’s face, the tear on the right side reaching her chin while the other side, just reached her fingertips. ‘You hit me,’ repeated Poppy.

‘I’m sorry. I really am. I was trying to get you to listen to me. I didn’t mean to.’ Neve took a step towards Poppy and gently moved her hand from her face. Neve gave a sharp intake of breath. A red slap mark burned on Poppy’s cheek. Neve felt sick at the sight of it. ‘Come up to the bathroom with me,’ she said, taking Poppy by the hand. ‘We’ll put a cold flannel on it.’

Reluctantly, Poppy allowed Neve to take her upstairs and sit her on the edge of the bath while Neve ran a clean flannel under the cold water. Poppy flinched as the compress was rested against her skin. ‘It’s cold,’ she complained.

‘It’s meant to be,’ said Neve, as she wished with all her heart she hadn’t lost control.

‘You only had to say please, and I would have stopped,’ said Poppy, her voice sullen. Uncharacteristically, she looked up at Neve from under her thick black eyelashes. Neve had only ever seen one photograph of Poppy’s mother, one that Kit had framed and was on Poppy’s dressing table, and for the first time Neve could see a likeness between mother and child. It was the angle of the photograph, taken from above, as Poppy’s mother looked up at the camera, in just the same way Poppy did now. It was definitely the dark thick lashes that did it. She certainly hadn’t inherited her father’s fair colouring. Neve wondered, if her and Kit had a child would the baby be fair, like them? A little pang of desire made itself known in her stomach.

‘I am sorry, I really am,’ she said, taking the flannel away. Fortunately, the pink mark was going down.

‘I’m going to tell Dad,’ said Poppy, as Neve replaced the flannel on her face.

Neve swallowed hard. ‘I didn’t mean to,’ she said. How would she explain this to Kit? She couldn’t even remember having the conscious thought to slap Poppy. If it wasn’t for the hand mark, Neve wouldn’t have believed it possible.

‘I’m going to tell Dad you kissed Jake,’ said Poppy. ‘Neve and Jake sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G.’

‘Don’t start that again,’ said Neve, with a steel in her voice that surprised her. ‘Just stop now.’ And then she added in a softer voice. ‘Please?’

‘OK,’ Poppy said and then fell silent.

Neve knelt in front of Poppy. ‘Look, I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell Dad anything. Not about Jake and not about what’s just happened.’

‘Why?’

‘Because he’ll get angry. And neither of us like it when he’s cross, do we?’ She hated herself for manipulating Poppy’s thoughts like this, but she had no choice. ‘And anyway, I was just saying thank you to Jake for helping me.’

‘Dad will be cross with you,’ said Poppy.

‘And he might be cross with you too,’ said Neve. ‘For singing a silly song and not listening to me.’

‘I did when you said please.’

‘I know. Let’s just forget about it. We were both in the wrong.’

The sound of the door closing and Kit calling out, made Neve and Poppy look towards the bathroom door in unison.

‘Helloooo!’ came Kit’s voice from the foot of the stairs. ‘Anyone home?’

‘Up here!’ called back Neve. ‘Won’t be a minute.’

As she went downstairs, Neve could feel the butterflies in her stomach, so she took time to regulate her breathing in a bid to appear unruffled. Maybe Kit wouldn’t notice the red mark on Poppy’s face. With any luck he’d be preoccupied with work or his lap top or phone, like he often was.

‘How’s Poppy?’ asked Kit as Neve came into the kitchen.

‘She’s OK. I spoke to her teacher and she said she had quite a good day.’

‘Where is she?’

‘She’s up in her room. Leave her for now.’

‘I’ll call her down,’ said Kit, ignoring Neve. Clearly, any hope that he would be preoccupied was wasted. ‘Poppy! Poppy, come down. I want to speak to you.’

Neve took another steadying breath. This was not going to plan at all. She heard Poppy’s feet on the staircase.

‘Hi Dad.’

Neve picked up on the note of caution in Poppy’s greeting

‘Hiya, darling. Neve phoned me today and told me what happened at the bus stop. Are you …’ The abrupt stop to the sentence was all Neve needed to know he had spotted the mark on Poppy’s face. ‘What the hell …’ Kit muttered.

‘She’s OK,’ said Neve, stepping forward and putting an arm around Poppy’s shoulders. ‘Aren’t you, Poppy?’

Poppy nodded obligingly, an uncertain look in her eyes.

‘Well, she doesn’t look all right to me. Come here, Poppy, let me see. Did that happen this morning?’

‘Neve did it,’ said Poppy.

‘It was an accident,’ said Neve quickly. ‘I was reaching for something from the cupboard and caught Poppy’s face with my elbow.’ The lie slipped out before she had time to think about it.

‘Wow. I’ll say you did,’ said Kit, inspecting his daughter’s face. ‘Poor you, Poppy, you’ve had a rough day by the sound of it. Now, don’t be worrying about what happened this morning, I’m going to speak to that little toerag’s mother. He won’t be bothering you again, I promise.’

‘People break promises,’ said Poppy. ‘Neve said they did. You do. Neve does.’

‘That’s enough,’ said Neve.

‘Yes, that’s enough,’ echoed Kit. ‘Don’t be worrying now.’

‘Neve’s got muddy shoes,’ said Poppy.

Kit looked over at Neve. ‘I went for a walk by the river. I haven’t had time to clean them yet. Right, what do you want for tea?’ Neve made an attempt to distract Poppy.

Just at that moment Kit’s mobile began to ring. ‘Sorry, need to answer this,’ said Kit.

‘Jake’s shoes must be muddy too,’ said Poppy.

‘Hello. Kit Masters.’ Kit answered his phone and gave his daughter an odd look. ‘Hi, Sean. Yes, it’s fine. No, no, don’t worry, I can speak now.’

‘Jake and Neve sitting—.’

‘Poppy! Shhh, your dad’s on the phone!’ Neve rushed over to close the door as Kit made his way out of the kitchen. He turned and although listening to Sean speaking, he gave Neve a long hard stare.