Читать книгу Schoolgirl Missing: Discover the dark side of family life in the most gripping page-turner of 2019 - Sue Fortin, Sue Fortin - Страница 13

Neve woke up early the next morning, her guilt not allowing her the luxury of sleep. She’d put pressure on Poppy to lie to her father, if necessary. But worse, she had taken advantage of Poppy’s naivety and of her own ability to manipulate Poppy’s thoughts to protect herself. At the time, it seemed justifiable but deep down, she knew it wasn’t. The house was still, and Neve padded downstairs to make herself a cup of tea and sit in front of the TV watching reruns of property shows. The latest being a renovation project in Devon.

It seemed even the TV company was conspiring to add to her guilt. Devon immediately took her thoughts back to Megan.

She missed Megan so much.

Neve thought of the glorious holidays she’d shared with her family as a child and the memories made her smile. Mum and Dad always rented a cottage in Devon and they would spend two weeks of the summer there. Neve and Megan loved the big sweeping beaches, the roaring north coast waves and the breeze that came with it. They’d made a pact that one day they would buy their own little cottage in Devon and would live there together with their own children.

A dark cloud raced across Neve’s mind, blocking out the happy memories. She picked up the remote control and switched channels. She didn’t want to be reminded of what happened. It was too painful to revisit.

‘You’re up early,’ said Kit coming into the room.

Neve looked up and was pleased for the distraction. ‘I couldn’t sleep,’ she replied.

Kit went over and bent to kiss the top of her head. He was already dressed for work and smelt of lemon zest shower gel. ‘Have you thought of going to the doctor?’

‘No. I don’t need to see a doctor. I’m not taking any sleeping pills or anything like that.’

Kit rested his hand on her shoulder. ‘OK. It was only a suggestion. It’s no big deal taking something to help you sleep. Lots of people do.’

‘I said no.’ She stood up and brushed past him as she headed down the hall. There was such a lot Kit didn’t know about her and taking medication to help with stress and poor sleeping was one of them. The side-effects of walking around in a daze-like state, thinking through a permanent foggy mind and feeling constantly drowsy was awful, and she had no intention of ever going there again.

‘What’s on the agenda today?’ asked Kit, following her into the kitchen.

‘Not sure.’

‘You’re not going to your art therapy class, then?’

Her heart missed a beat. ‘Yes, I meant apart from that, I’m not sure,’ she replied evenly, although inside she was wary of where the conversation was going. Last night after he had finished his phone call, he hadn’t referred to Poppy’s comment about Jake’s shoes. Neve had been on tenterhooks all evening, waiting for him to remember, but it seemed it hadn’t stuck in his mind at all. Thank goodness!

‘I’ve been thinking about your art. I’d really like to see some of your work,’ said Kit, taking his freshly made coffee from the machine. ‘That’s if you don’t mind? I thought maybe you’d like to share it with me, rather than just Jake.’

‘It’s not really art for sharing or displaying,’ said Neve, not wanting to meet his gaze. ‘It’s therapy. It’s …’ she hesitated, the word ‘private’ resting on her lips.

‘But Jake gets to see it,’ continued Kit, clearly not wanting to let the subject drop.

‘I’d be embarrassed,’ she said, at last. ‘I’m not good at art, I just find it an outlet for my emotions.’

‘That sounds like a textbook quote,’ said Kit. He put his coffee cup down and went over to her, placing his hands on her shoulders, turning her to face him and tipping her chin up to him with his finger. ‘I just thought if you showed me your art, I might be able to understand better. You know … what happened. After all this time, you’ve never really told me about it.’

‘You know what it is,’ said Neve, attempting to pull away. There was good reason why she’d never spoken about it. It was a parent’s worst fear. A nightmare come true. Losing a child was something no parent should have to deal with.

‘It’s not just that,’ said Kit, his voice taking on a firmer line. Neve tried to turn away, but he wouldn’t let her. He spoke again. ‘If only you’d let me in. Maybe I could help you.’

Neve felt a glimmer of hope. Did he really mean what he said? ‘You know how you can help me.’

Immediately his face darkened, and his hands dropped away. ‘Don’t, Neve. That wasn’t what I meant and you know it. We’re supposed to be giving each other time to think.’ He slipped the knot of his tie up to his collar. ‘Piss off to Jake and do your art therapy with him. It’s obviously what makes you happy.’

‘It’s not like that …’ her voice trailed away as Kit left the room. She didn’t finish her sentence because, in actual fact, it was like that or at least it could be like that.

‘And don’t forget we’re out to dinner tonight. With the Harrisons,’ he called. Neve heard him call out a goodbye to Poppy as he opened the front door, pulling it shut behind him without another word to her.

She let out a sigh. What was it with Kit, lately? He had brought the conversation round to the art course and what had happened to her more than once. In fact, it was becoming a pet topic of conversation for him. Kit was like a dog with a bone. He didn’t give up. He always had to win.

She pushed herself away from the worktop. Dinner with the Harrisons. Joy of joys. She couldn’t wait. Another evening of small talk with Julia, who would spend most of the time telling Neve how well her children were doing with their studies. Which universities they had applied for or been accepted at. What their interim school reports said. What extra-curricular activity they were doing, which of course, they would excel at. Neve wouldn’t have much to offer to the conversation. She couldn’t compete with any of that. Oh, she’d tell Julia how proud she was that Poppy could now swim ten metres on her own with the aid of a float and how Poppy had successfully made herself a sandwich the other day. And Julia would nod and smile, but in that sympathetic way she did to hide the obvious relief that her children weren’t less than perfect.

And Neve would go along with Kit in the pretence that their marriage was fine, and they didn’t have a care in the world, chatting about holidays abroad, boats, wine and fine dining. And this would be totally in Julia’s comfort zone. Crikey, if Julia ever got wind that Neve was contemplating an affair then she’d probably arrange for Neve to be put on the ducking stool at the village pond.

The sound of Poppy coming down the stairs brought her from her daydream.

‘Why are you looking out of the window?’

Neve turned and smiled at her daughter. ‘Morning, Poppy. How are you?’ Neve stole a glance at Poppy’s cheek. Fortunately, there was no mark to be seen and she breathed a sigh of relief.

‘Why were you looking out of the window?’ persisted Poppy.

‘I was just daydreaming,’ said Neve. ‘Right, let’s get you something to eat. Toast?’

Neve went about preparing the toast and jam. She remembered one of the first times she was around for breakfast and she’d given Poppy a choice of toast, crumpets or cereal. My goodness, that was a long and convoluted conversation. Kit apologised later that day and said he should have warned her not to give Poppy too many choices. Poppy couldn’t deal with too many options and she dealt with life better if she had clear and concise instructions. He’d explained that Poppy’s reasoning wasn’t developed enough to make convoluted choices. Kit had been quite clear about that and Neve hadn’t liked to argue, although privately she wondered if Kit was just an over-anxious father trying to care for his daughter. That was then. Now, Neve didn’t hail to this conviction.

Keeping to their usual schedule, once they were dressed and ready, Neve drove Poppy down to the bus stop.

‘Do you want me to stay with you?’ asked Neve, looking over at the small group of kids waiting for the secondary school bus and relieved to see there was no sign of Ben Hewitt.

‘No.’

‘I’ll just wait here in the car, then,’ said Neve.

She watched Poppy go over to the bus stop. None of the other kids looked at her and Neve wondered if that was a conscious decision based on the fact that she was standing guard. She didn’t care. In fact, she was pleased they seemed a little wary of her now. Within a few minutes the St Joseph’s bus pulled up and once Neve had seen Poppy board, she felt happy to leave and head off to her art classes with a clear conscience.

Arriving at the art studio and pushing open the door, Neve was surprised to see the main hall empty. She walked further in and called out. ‘Hello! Jake, are you there?’

She could hear voices coming from the studio at the back and assumed Jake must have a visitor. It was unusual that the studio was empty. Her class was a small group but, all the same, there was usually at least three or four of them there at any one time.

The door opened and Jake appeared. Something about the look on his face stopped Neve in her tracks. A movement behind him caught her attention.

Neve’s heart thudded against the wall of her chest as Kit walked into the main studio right behind Jake. ‘Kit! What are you doing here?’

‘Hello, darling,’ said Kit, walking over to her and slipping his arm around her waist, pulling her towards him so that her stomach was pushed against his groin. He kissed her on the mouth, lingering for an embarrassing moment too long. ‘After our conversation this morning, I thought I’d drop by and see how Jake was.’

Kit released Neve from his clinch but retained a proprietorial arm around her.

‘Hi,’ said Jake, pushing his hands into his pockets. There was an unease about him and Neve wondered if Kit was picking up on this, or whether she was being hyper-sensitive.

‘Jake was just showing me some of your artwork,’ said Kit.

Neve’s whole body tensed. She looked at Jake. ‘You showed him my artwork?’

Jake’s expression was somewhere between apologetic and wary. ‘I thought you said …’ He looked at Kit and then back to Neve.

Kit spoke first. ‘I asked him to. It’s not Jake’s fault. I asked him to show me.’

‘But you know my work here is personal.’ She peeled Kit’s hand from her body and took a step away, before turning to Jake. ‘You shouldn’t have shown him.’ Neve shook her head in silent disbelief. How could Jake betray her like this? He of all people should know that her therapy artwork was private and personal.

‘I’m sorry,’ said Jake.

‘As I said, I didn’t give him a lot of choice,’ said Kit.

Neve strode past the two men and into the smaller studio. On the workbench in the middle on the room were several pieces of her work. She went to touch them, to gather them up but stopped. They somehow now felt tainted. Kit had seen her deepest, darkest thoughts.

‘They’re pretty good,’ came Kit’s voice as he entered the room and stood next to her. ‘I was thinking about getting one framed for you as a surprise for your birthday.’

‘They’re not for display,’ said Neve, looking at the landscape she’d painted from memory. A wide sandy beach, big rolling waves, a wintery sky. Two lone figures standing at the water’s edge.

‘I particularly like this one,’ said Kit, as if watching her gaze. He picked up the painting. ‘That’s very dramatic. In fact, all your paintings are. I love the use of the blues, blacks and greys. It seems quite a theme.’

‘Shut up,’ snapped Neve. She couldn’t stand listening to him. He wasn’t just talking about her paintings, he was talking about her fears, her regrets, her guilt. He was talking about her pain and her shame.

Neve grabbed the painting from Kit’s hand and tore the watercolour in half. She heard Jake swear.

‘Fuck! Neve, what are you doing?’

Kit tried to grab her arm. ‘Hey, hey, hey,’ he said. She snatched her arm away and then, spotting the Stanley knife on the side, she swiped it up and slashed at the acrylic painting that lay on the table. Another one of her secrets exposed for Kit to see.

This time Kit was too strong to shrug off as his hand clamped down over her wrist, bending her arm to the side until she was forced to drop the blade. Meanwhile, Jake had rushed over and was pulling the other two paintings away from harm.

‘Get off me,’ said Neve. ‘You’re hurting me.’

Kit let go of her wrist. ‘Let’s get you home,’ he said, cupping her elbow in the palm of his hand in an attempt to guide her away.

Neve shrugged him off. ‘I’m perfectly capable of getting myself home. I don’t want you anywhere near me right now.’ She turned to Jake. ‘And that goes for you too.’

With that, she darted from the studio, through the larger one and out into the car park, gulping for fresh air.

‘Bastards!’ she yelled. ‘Both of you. Bastards!’

The sound of laughter had her spinning round on her heel tracing the source of the noise.

Leaning against the gatepost was Lee. ‘Tut, tut, tut, Neve,’ he said. ‘That’s not very ladylike.’

‘What are you doing here?’ demanded Neve.

‘Thought I’d join the art class. We could buddy up.’

Neve glanced back to the studio and through the full length windows, she could see Kit and Jake talking in the main studio. She took her chance and stomped over to Lee. ‘Didn’t I make it clear enough yesterday?’ she hissed. ‘You’re not welcome here. Now why don’t you just piss off back to where you came from?’

‘Next you’ll be telling me this town ain’t big enough for the both of us and demanding I’m out of here by noon. Now where’s the fun in that?’ said Lee. ‘Besides, I quite like Ambleton. I’m just beginning to settle in and make new friends.’

Neve glared at him. She just wanted him to go away. To leave her alone. She didn’t understand why he’d turned up now or what his motive was, but he had the potential to ruin everything. If Kit found out about her past, he’d leave her, she was sure, and then where would she be? She couldn’t imagine Jake would want anything to do with her either. No husband, no partner all equalled no child. She needed to get rid of Lee but threatening him and making an enemy of him clearly wasn’t going to work. She’d have to get smart.

‘Look, Lee, we seem to have got off on the wrong foot. Maybe we should start again?’

‘Well, you changed your tune quickly.’

Neve glanced back at the art studio. ‘My husband’s in there and if he sees you, he’s not likely to be very happy. Maybe you should make yourself scarce. I’ll text you and we can catch up another day. Properly. Like old friends should.’

Lee cocked his head to one side as if contemplating Neve’s little speech. He pushed himself away from the gatepost. ‘OK,’ he said. ‘I’ll go. I don’t quite know what your game is, Neve, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.’

‘No game,’ said Neve.

‘Yeah right. See you soon then.’

‘I’ll text.’

Neve drummed her fingers on the gatepost as she watched Lee saunter back down Copperthorne Lane. He’d underestimated her. If she was going to turn this situation around, she needed to play him at his own game. What was that saying about keeping your friends close, but your enemies closer? She was about to put that into practice.