Читать книгу Watering my Crown - Sunshinegoldenchild . - Страница 12

American Stories

I WAS ABOUT TO TURN TWENTY AND HAD FINALLY GRADUATED, WITH HONORS MIGHT I ADD. I WAS SO DONE WITH THIS LIFE HERE, I FELT LIKE NOTHING ELSE WAS HOLDING ME BACK AGAIN AND I NEEDED A FRESH START SO I BOOKED A ONE-WAY FLIGHT TO HOUSTON, TEXAS, WHERE I HAD TWO AUNTS LIVING FROM MY FATHER’S SIDE.

My plan was to get accepted into the „University of Houston“, become a psychology major and begin life in the „promised land“. But it all took a wrong turn.

I UNCOVERED THAT MY FATHER’S IDENTITY WASN’T WHAT HE TOLD THE WORLD ALL THESE YEARS AND THEREFORE I WAS NOT ELIGIBLE TO JUST START UNIVERSITY LIKE ANY OTHER AMERICAN CITIZEN BUT INSTEAD I WOULD HAVE TO APPLY FOR A DIFFERENT VISA AND WOULD HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ANY FINANCIAL AID. MY DREAM HAD BURST LIKE A BUBBLE, ALL MY LIFE I THOUGHT MY FATHER CARRIED AN US PASSPORT AND THAT WOULD OPEN THE DOORS FOR MY LIFE IN THE STAATES. I DECIDED TO STILL STAY AND JUST RENEW MY TOURIST VISA UNTIL THAT WOULDN ’T BE POSSIBLE AGAIN.

AMERICA WAS ALL I DREAMED IT TO BE, I LOVED ALL THE ATTENTION I WAS GETTING AND ALL THE COOL PEOPLE WHO WANTED TO BE MY FRIENDS.

Funny how the tables turn. Even though I was still "different", here I got praised for it and for the first time in my life I was the „popular girl“.

EVERYBODY HYPED ME UPAS „EXOTIC“ BECAUSE OF MY "FOREIGN" LOOKS AND MY CARIBBEAN ACCENT. TEXAS WAS A VERY BLACK, WHITE OR HISPANIC PLACE, THERE WEREN’T TOO MANY MIXED-RACE PEOPLE AND FOR THE FIRST TIME, I REALLY SAW WHAT RACIAL SEGREGATION LOOKED LIKE IN REAL LIFE – BY NEIGHBORHOODS, BY CLUBS, BY FRIEND

CIRCLES OR EVEN SCHOOLS, EVERYBODY STUCK TOWHO LOOKED LIKE THEM - FOR THE MOST PART.

I ATE OUT A LOT, GAINED SOME WEIGHT BUT LIKED IT BECAUSE MY ASS GREW FATTER AND OUT HERE THAT WAS A GOOD THING. I MET A LOT OF GOOD LOOKING GUYS, THE TYPE WHO I WOULD HAVE NEVER DREAMED OF BEING AROUND, I FELT DESIRED AND SPECIAL. BUT IT WAS OBVIOUS TO ME THAT THEY LIKED ME FOR THE WRONG REASONS AND WITH THE WEEKS MY HEART GREW COLDER AND MY NOSE ROSE HIGHER, CONNECTIONS FELT LESS REAL AND I BEGAN FEELING LONELY AGAIN.

EVEN THOUGH ALL THESE MEN SPOKE OF LOVE, I KNEW NONE OF THEM REALLY LOVED ME. THEY TOOK ME OUT EVERY WEEKEND, I PARTIED A LOT AND GOT A LITTLE OUT OF CONTROL WITH MY DRINKING.

H-TOWN WAS ALSO THE PLACE WHERE I HAD MY FIRST BLUNT. THERE WAS NOTHING BETTER THAN THE FEELING OF CHILLING IN THE CAR AFTER THE CLUB AND LIGHTING A SWISHER SWEETS GRAPE LACED UP WITH GOOD HERB. DRAKE ’S ALBUM „THANK ME LATER“ BECAME THE SOUNDTRACK OF MY SUMMERAND EVERY SONG ON IT RESEMBLED A DIFFERENT MOOD, A DIFFERENT NIGHT, A DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE – ALL IN ROTATION, OVER AND OVER UNTIL I LOST TRACK OF TIME AND PLACE. GETTING FADED BECAME A ROUTINE.

„THROW YOUR HORNS UP GIRL, EVERYTHING IS BIGGER AND BETTER IN TEXAS“, THEY USED TO SAY WHILE STICKING OUT THEIR CHESTS TO REP THEY’RE HOME.

AFTER A FEW MONTHS OF MY „NEW NORMAL“, I REMEMBER STANDING IN THE BATHROOM, GETTING READY TO GO OUT, STARING MYSELF IN THE MIRROR AND NOT RECOGNIZING MYSELF. WHO DID I BECOME?… I SHOOK OFF THOSE FEELINGS, PUT ON SOME GLITTER LINER, LIPGLOSS, AND MY

HEELS AND WAS OUT THE DOOR, LOST IN THE NIGHT AND IT’S DEMONS.

To my beautiful daughter and the younger sisters coming after me, I know many men will be attracted by your flowers, but not too many will want to know your roots.

DON’T EXPLOIT YOURSELF BY CARRYING YOURSELF IN AN OVERSEXUALIZED WAY JUST TO IMPRESS THEM. THIS WILL SURELY GIVE YOU ATTENTION, MAYBE EVEN FROM THE ONE YOU DESIRE, BUT IT WILL BE THE WRONG TYPE OF ATTENTION AND IT WILL DISTRACT HIM FROM SEEING THE "REAL YOU". SO NEVER LET SOMEONE ACCESS YOUR BODY IF HE HAS NO INTEREST IN EXPLORING YOUR MIND. FOR SEX IS NOT LOVE, IT CAN ONLY BE SOMEONE’S PHYSICAL EXPRESSION OF SHOWING YOU THEIR LOVE. BUT IF SOMEBODY IS NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU ALREADY, THEY WILL NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUJUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE SEX WITH THEM. They might fall in love with what you are giving them - but not you.

THEY MIGHT EVEN GET „ADDICTED“ TO IT, BUT THEY WILL END UP STICKING AROUND FOR THE WRONG REASONS AND IT WILL TURN BAD AND MESSY.

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.

IT CAN EVEN BE DANGEROUS FOR YOUR SPIRIT TO HAVE SEX WITH THE WRONG PERSON BECAUSE SEX IS A RITUAL OF SHARING ENERGIES. CONNECTING YOUR ENERGY WITH SOMEONE WHO ISN’T VIBING WITH YOU ON A DEEPER LEVEL, WHO’S MIND ISN’T RIGHT AND WHO CARRIES DARKNESS IN THEIR HEART WILL PLACE THEIR NEGATIVE VIBES RIGHT INSIDE OF YOU WHILE ENTERING YOUR SACRALITY, YOUR TEMPLE. AND YOU WILL NOT KNOW IT RIGHT AWAY BECAUSE YOU ARE LOST IN THE ACT OF LUST, BUT SOON OR SOMETIMES YEARS LATER YOU WILL SUBCONSCIOUSLY NOTICE HIS BADNESS SPREADING INSIDE YOU LIKE HIDDEN POISON. I KNOW THIS MUST SOUND A BIT EXTREME TO YOU, BUT I LIVED THROUGH THIS.

Be careful who you open up to because in America it was, when „the devil tried me“.

I SAT IN A STRIP CLUB‚JADED AND ALMOST IN A TRANCE STATE, WHEN THIS MAN, HANDSOME WITH NEAT DREADLOCKS, TOOK THE SPOT NEXT TO ME. I WAS ALONE BECAUSE MY FRIEND LINA WAS CHECKING ON HER OLD COWORKERS (YES SHE USE TO WORK THE BAR IN A STRIP CLUB). IT WASN’T MY FIRST TIME IN ONE OF THESE JOINTS BECAUSE IN THE SOUTH THE WHOLE STRIP CLUB CULTURE IS REALLY POPULAR, IT’S ALMOST LIKE GOING TO A REGULAR CLUB. IT IS EXCITING, BIG PIMPED UP CARS PULL UP AND A LOT OF FANCY-DRESSED PEOPLE ARE SHOWING OFF THEIR NEWEST BLING AND ASSETS (LITERALLY). I ALWAYS FELT LIKE I WAS PART OF A RAP VIDEO, OFTENTIMES ACTUAL RAPPERS DID COME THROUGH TO THESE CLUBS.

NOT ON THAT NIGHT THOUGH, IT WAS A SLOW NIGHT AND I WAS SIPPING ON A DRINK THAT ANOTHER MAN HAD BOUGHT ME BUT I HAD LEFT HIM BECAUSE HE WAS TALKING TOO MUCH AND I REALLY WASN’T INTERESTED IN WHAT HE HAD TO SAY. THIS ONE HERE, LET US CALL HIM „ATLANTA“ BECAUSE THAT IS WHERE HE’S FROM, WAS DIFFERENT.

HIS WHOLE VIBE AND ENERGY WERE SO STRONG AND I FELT REALLY ATTRACTED TO HIM, HE SEEMED VERY INTELLIGENT AND ALMOST MYSTERIOUS. HE WOKE ME UP, THE CONVERSATION STARTED INNOCENTLY AND FLIRTATIOUS BUT SOON WE MOVED FROM THE BAR CHAIRS TO A COUCH SETTING AND OUR CONVERSATION GOT DEEPER.

HE MADE ME FEEL LIKE I COULD JUST OPEN UP AND SPILL MY WHOLE LIFE TO HIM AND HE’D BE THERE TO HOLD ME WITH HIS STRONG ARMS. HE HELD MY LEFT HAND WHILE I TALKED, I REMEMBER BECAUSE IT STOOD OUT TO ME, I REALLY FELT LIKE I HAD HIS FULL ATTENTION AND HE CARED ABOUT WHAT I HAD TO SAY.

WE WERE THERE UNTIL THE NEXT MORNING AND THE CLUB CLOSED, I HAD FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT LINA, WHO ENDED UP GOING HOME AFTER SHE COULD NOT FIND ME AND I WASN’T ANSWERING MY PHONE. HE DROVE ME HOME TO HER HOUSE AND GAVE ME A HUG FOR GOODBYE – NO KISS.

I REMEMBER HE SMELLED GOOD, A SMELL THAT I WOULD NEVER FORGET AND THAT SHOULD MAKE MY INSIDES TURN FOREVER.

I TOLD HIM THAT I WISH TO SEE HIM AGAIN AND HE SAID: „DON’T WORRY – WE WILL.“ LOOKING BACK IT FEELS LIKE A THREAT.

WE NEVER EXCHANGED NUMBERS AND I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT HIM BESIDES THAT HE WAS HERE IN TEXAS FOR BUSINESS AND AFTER A COUPLE OF DAYS OF NOT HEARING FROM HIM (SINCE WE DIDN’T HAVE EACH OTHERS CONTACTS) I FORGOT ALL ABOUT HIM. BUT HE MEANT WHAT HE SAID… THAT „WE WILL (SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN)“.

MY TIME IN TEXAS ENDED WITH BEING ARRESTED FOR BEING IN A CAR WITH SOMEONE WHO HAD A GUN AND DRUGS ON THEM (YES, I REALLY WAS HANGING WITH THE WRONG

CROWD) AND EVEN THOUGH THERE WERE NO CHARGES BROUGHT UP AGAINST ME, MY AUNT SAID SHE COULD NOT BEAR THE RESPONSIBILITY FOR ME ANYMORE. MY COUSIN HAD TOLD ON ME THAT I KEPT SNEAKING OUT AT NIGHT AND SHE DOESN’T WANT ME TO END UP PREGNANT LIKE MY OTHER COUSIN FROM TRINIDAD WHO THEY TOOK FOR A SCHOOL SEMESTER.

SO THEY SENT ME TO ANOTHER AUNT IN LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA, WHICH SOUNDS MORE EXCITING THAN WHAT IT WAS BECAUSE THAT WHOLE FAMILY THERE WAS SUPER STRICT AND AWARE OF EVERY MOVE I TRIED MAKING.

I WASN’T ALLOWED TO GO ANYWHERE BY MYSELF AND ALL THE ACTIVITIES WERE REALLY PJ13.

I WAS SO BORED THERE AND JUST FELT LIKE I’M WASTING MY TIME, I WASN’T EVEN ALLOWED TO WATCH TV THAT MUCH BECAUSE THEY DID "NOT BELIEVE IN THAT“. THEY WERE TRINIS BUT VERY TYPICAL LA PEOPLE, VEGAN, PHYSICALLY ACTIVE, CAREER-DRIVEN AND ACTUALLY GOOD PEOPLE BUT TOO STRICT FOR ME AFTER LIVING A LIFE OF „NO RULES“ IN

TEXAS. ONE PLACE THEY HAD NO PROBLEM WITH ME GOING

WAS THE BEACH, SO THAT BECAME MY DAILY HANG OUT SPOT.

AT REDONDO BEACH, I MET THIS GIRL WHO BECAME MY GOOD FRIEND AND HER FACE WAS CUTE AND INNOCENT ENOUGH FOR MY AUNT TO LIKE HER TOO, SHE EVEN ALLOWED ME TO GO TO AN ALL WHITE POOL PARTY WITH HER. IT WAS SUPER TURNT‚JUST LIKE IN ONE OF THOSE MOVIES I USED TO WATCH BACK IN MY GRANDMOTHER’S HOUSE WHEN I DREAMED OF A MORE EXCITING LIFE.

I was finally here, I could’t believe it.

I WAS DANCING AND DRINKING AND BEING INVITED INTO THE VIP SECTION WHERE THE PARTY GOT EVEN BETTER. BOTTLE POPPING, MONEY BLOWING, CHAMPAGNE FLOWING,

BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE AND BIG WHITE TEETH COVERED WITH GOLDEN DIAMOND GRILLS EVERYWHERE… WHAT A LIFE ( - YUP, THAT’S WHAT MY VAIN DREAMS WHERE MADE OF.)

IN THAT SAME VIP SECTION, I MET „HARLEM“ (LET’S CALL HIM THAT BECAUSE THAT’S WHERE HE WAS FROM). I FELL FOR HIS RADIANT SMILE AND HIS EXPENSIVE COLOGNE SMELL. WE EXCHANGED NUMBERS EVEN THOUGH THIS WAS HIS LAST DAY IN LA BUT HE INVITED ME TO COME TO NEW YORK AND I TOLD HIM „BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU’RE OFFERING BECAUSE I MIGHT TAKE YOU UP ON THAT“. HEJUST SMILED AND SAID: „I GOT YOU BABY“.

A FEW WEEKS AND A LOT OF PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE ARGUMENTS WITH MY AUNT LATER I BEGAN REALLY MISSING HOME, MY GRANDMA AND CRAVED THE SIMPLE LIFE OF MY VILLAGE THAT I USE TO HATE SO MUCH BUT I HAD NO MONEY TO BUY A TICKET TO FLY BACK SINCE I HAD LONG RUN OUT OF MY SAVINGS. I DECIDED TO HIT BACK HARLEM AND ASK HIM TO HELP ME OUT AND HE ACTUALLY SENT ME THE MONEY FOR A TICKET TO GERMANY. I WAS SO GRATEFUL AND PROMISED THAT I WOULD REPAY HIM.

THE WARM FUZZY FEELING OF BEING BACK „HOME“ QUICKLY FADED IN THESE COLD GERMAN WINTER NIGHTS AND GREY DARK DAYS. THE SNOW FELL INTENSELY AND MY MOOD THICKENED. I BEGAN WORKING AT H&M AND AFTER RECEIVING MY FIRST PAYCHECK WHICH WAS THE FIRST TIME I EVER MADE THAT MUCH MONEY, I TOOK A FEW DEEP BREATHS AND BOOKED A FLIGHT… TO NEW YORK.

My time in New York should become my best and the worst time yet.

TWO WEEKS BEFORE MY FLIGHT I TOLD HARLEM I WAS COMING AND HE WAS SO HAPPY WITH THE NEWS. I TOLD HIM THAT I WON’T HAVE ALL HIS MONEY BUT THAT I COULD GIVE HIM A PORTION OF IT, HE SAID: „DON’T WORRY BABY, I GOT YOU.“ HE OFFERED TO PICK ME UP FROM THE AIRPORT AND TOLD ME I COULD EVEN STAY WITH HIM. BUT I DID’T WANT TO SOLELY RELY ON HIM, BECAUSE ONE THING I HAD LEARNED IS THAT „MEN LIE – AND ONCE THEY GOT WHAT THEY WERE AFTER THEIR PROMISES DON’T MEAN SHIT ANYMORE“, I WENT AHEAD AND BOOKED A HOSTEL IN CASE SOMETHING WOULD GO WRONG.

WHEN HE PICKED ME UP I WAS "SURPRISED” BY HIS CAR, TO SAY THE LEAST, BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WOULD ROLL UP WITH SOMETHING MORE SPECTACULAR THE WAY HE WAS BALLING OUT IN LA. BUT WE HAD GREAT CHEMISTRY AND HE REASSURED ME THAT I WILL HAVE THE BEST TIME EVER IN NY, SO I BRUSHED OFF MY DOUBTS AND ENJOYED THE RIDE.

BUT AS WE DROVE THROUGH MANHATTAN, LEAVING THE FANCY BUILDINGS BEHIND US, I ASKED HIM „WHERE ARE WE GOING?“. THERE WAS A LITTLE BREAK IN OUR FLOW OF CONVERSATION AND I GOT A BIT SCARED BUT THEN HE ANSWERED CALMLY „HARLEM – WE’RE GONNA STAY WITH MY SISTER FOR THE NIGHT AND FROM TOMORROW I ORGANIZED A HOTEL ON BROADWAY“. THAT SOUNDED GOOD ENOUGH TO ME.

WHEN WE GOT TO THE PLACE I WAS SHOOK AGAIN, IT LOOKED LIKE A PLACE FROM A „GHETTO MOVIE“ AND I WAS CONFUSED HOW HIS SISTER COULD BE LIVING LIKE THIS IF HE REALLY HAD ALL THIS MONEY HE PRETENDED TO HAVE BECAUSE HIS FASHION AGAIN WAS SUPER ON POINT AND TO JUDGE FROM HIS SOCIAL MEDIA HE SEEMS TO TRAVEL A LOT. I NEVER MET HIS SISTER AND HER TWO CHILDREN BUT IT WAS EVIDENT THAT A LOT WAS GOING ON IN THIS SMALL APARTMENT ON THE 6TH FLOOR OF A RUN-DOWN HARLEM BUILDING. THERE WERE A LOT OF DRUGGED OUT GHOSTS ON

THE STREET CORNER BY THE BODEGA WHERE WE GOT SOME DRINKS FOR THE NIGHT. I FELT THE TENSION IN THE AIR AND WAS ON EDGE THE WHOLE TIME IN CASE SOMETHING WAS TO HAPPEN. I SAW AJAMAICAN BAKERY, GOLDEN KRUST, AND WE GOT SOME BEEF PATTIES IN COCO BREAD AND SOME TING SODA AND SO I WAS HAPPY AGAIN. (I AM WAY TOO EASY TO PLEASE…).

OUR FIRST NIGHT WAS GREAT. WE WATCHED A MOVIE, NOTHING HAPPENED BETWEEN US BUT I COULD TELL THAT HE WAS WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO GO ON BETWEEN US.

THE SECOND DAY HE WANTED TO TAKE ME TO A BIG CARIBBEAN PARTY AT WEBSTER HALL, SO EARLIER THAT DAY WE WENT SHOPPING FOR THE EVENT AND HE PAID FOR A BEAUTIFUL DRESS AND SHOES FROM B.E.B.E. FOR ME AND TOOK ME OUT TO „RED LOBSTER“ ON TIMES SQUARE WHICH I REALLY ENJOYED.

I ŧeared up walking back out of the restaurant, seeing all the lights and big billboards of 42nd Street. „Sonia, little girl who grew up in A*****, can you believe how far you’ ve made it?“, I whispered to myself. „The world is mine!“

THE PARTY WAS THE BEST ONE I HAD EVER BEEN TO SO FAR, TOPPING ALL MY WILD HOUSTON MEMORIES BECAUSE THE THEME WAS „TRINIDAD VS.JAMAICA“ AND THE SEVEN DJS BATTLED BETWEEN SOCA AND DANCEHALL, THE DANCERS DID NOT COME TO PLAY, IT WAS JUST SO SURREAL TO SEE THIS AUTHENTIC CARIBBEAN CULTURE SO FAR OUTSIDE THE ISLANDS BUT I QUICKLY LEARNED HOW CARIBBEAN NEW YORK REALLY IS.

HARLEM’S BACKGROUND WAS HAITIAN BUT HE FELT FULLY COMFORTABLE IN THIS CROWD AND WAS A GREAT DANCER. HIS FRIENDS WAVED US TO THE VIP SECTION WHERE WE GOT DRUNK ON EXPENSIVE BOOZE.

I WAS WASTED, TO SAY THE LEAST, HE WAS TOO AND GOT MORE AND MORE TOUCHY-FEELY WHICH I WASN’T FEELING -

AT ALL! WE BEGAN TO ARGUE, THEN HEJUST IGNORED ME. ABOUT AN HOUR LATER I WAS READY TO GO TO THE HOTEL BUT HE DIDN’T WANT TO GO, SO HE GAVE ME THE KEYS AND SOME CAB MONEY PLUS THE ADDRESS TO THE PLACE AND TOLD ME TO DRESS UP IN SOMETHING SEXY WHILE WAITING FOR HIM.

I TOLD HIM THAT I WAS TIRED AND THAT HE IS DRUNK, THEN I TOOK HIS KEYS AND LEFT.

WHEN I GOT TO THE ROOM AND LAYED ON THE BED I IMMEDIATELY FELL ASLEEP, STILL WEARING MY B.E.B.E. DRESS.

I WOKE UP WHEN HE STUMBLED BACK INTO THE DARK ROOM, HE DIDN’T TURN ON THE LIGHTS. I FELT HIS HANDS TOUCHING MY ASS AND AS I LIFTED MY HEAD, HE PUSHED THEM BETWEEN MY THIGHS. I WAS LAYING ON MY STOMACH AS HE TURNED ME AROUND AND CRACKED OPEN MY LEGS. I TOLD HIM TO STOP AND WHEN I REALIZED HE WASN’T I BEGAN TO PANIC, SCREAMING TO „PLEASE STOP“.

When I felt the burn of the slap he gave me I just closed my eyes and shut up, I did not fight him.

WHEN I HEARD HIS BREATH CHANGING AND I WAS SURE HE WAS ASLEEP, I TOOK MY SUITCASE AND SLOWLY ROLLED OUT OF THE ROOM AND RAN OUT OF THE HOTEL AND DOWN THE BLOCK. I HAD NO IDEA WHERE I WAS OR HOW TO GET TO MY BACKUP HOSTEL. I TOOK ANOTHER CAB AND THEN WAS HORRIFIED TO FIND OUT THAT MY HOSTEL WAS ALSO IN HARLEM.

BUT I ACTUALLY MET REALLY COOL PEOPLE IN THE HOSTEL WHO ALL MADE ME FEEL SAFE. I STILL KNEW I HAD TO LEAVE FROM THERE SOON, I HAD ONLY BOOKED THE HOSTEL FORA WEEK BUT MY FLIGHT BACK WAS IN TWO WEEKS. I DID NOT WANT TO TELL ANYBODY IN GEMRANY THAT I WAS IN TROUBLE AND IN NEED OF HELP, I STILL BRAGGED WITH PICTURES FROM TIMES SQUARE ON MY FACEBOOK AND ANYBODY WHO MESSAGED ME TO ASK „HOW IS NEW YORK“, I JUST SAID „GRAND, I’M HAVING THE BEST TIME EVER“. UNTIL A FRIEND WHO IS IN THE US ARMY, STATIONED IN THE AREA I’M FROM, BUT ORIGINALLY IS FROM BROOKLYN, ASKED AND I JUST BROKE MY SITUATION DOWN TO HIM. HE TOLD ME ABOUT A GIRL HE WENT TO SCHOOL WITH AND WHO IS ALSO FROM BROOKLYN.

He said: „Hit her up, she is good peoples and also an Island Gyal“.

AND JUST LIKE A BLIND DATE, SHERRI AND I MET UP SOMEWHERE DEEP IN BROOKLYN, WHERE SHE FIRST SPIED ON ME WITH HER MUM IN A CAR AND THEN WHEN SHE FELT I WAS COOL SCOOPED ME UP TO TAKE ME TO THIS AMAZING THAI RESTAURANT IN WILLIAMSBURG WHERE WE TALKED AND LAUGHED AND INSTANTLY BOTH FELT THIS STRONG CONNECTION, I KNEW SHE WAS MY FRIEND FRIEND, I KNEW SHE COULD BE TRUSTED AND THAT SHE WAS EXACTLY WHO I WAS SUPPOSED TO MEET.

SHE AND HER FAMILY OPENED UP THEIR HOME TO ME, I SLEPT ON THE SAME BED WITH HER AND HER YOUNGER SUPER COOL SISTER KABE AND THEY SHOWED ME THE OTHER SIDE OF NEW YORK.

She saved my trip and my soul and I will forever thank her for that. We connected on a deeper level and began traveling the world together, Morocco, India, Italy, the Netherlands (…), she even came to visit me back in Germany – and I always returned back to her to New York every year.

I NEVER TOLD HER WHAT HAPPENED IN MY FIRST DAYS IN NEW YORK BUT I THINK SHE FELT THAT SOMETHING HAPPENED AND I NEEDED HELP, SHE BECAME LIKE AN OLDER SISTER TO ME.