Читать книгу Saying 'Yes!' to the Boss - Susan Mallery - Страница 13

Dev arrived home nearly two hours early to find loud music filling the house. He walked into the family room and saw Noelle sprawled across the sofa, a large text book propped up as she slowly flipped through the pages.

Instead of the conservatively dressed woman he’d seen last night, today his wife of less than a week wore a tank top and shorts. Her feet were bare, her hair piled up on top of her head in a ponytail and she was chewing gum. She was, he acknowledged wryly, a teenage boy’s dream. Which meant he had no excuse for what he was feeling—he was old enough to know better.

Still, the information didn’t seem to have any impact on the sudden rush of blood south or the desire to cross the room, pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless. He imagined her yielding and aroused, straining to get closer, reaching for him as they—

He forced the erotic images out of his mind. This was a marriage of practicality, he reminded himself. Nothing more. Besides, he’d been enough of an ass last night. He should take a break from that kind of behavior.

Pushing her to talk about Jimmy had been out of line and now that she’d admitted she didn’t think she and his brother had been in love, he, Dev, felt even more like a jerk. He’d only done it to find out if she was in mourning or not. Knowing she wasn’t overwhelmed by the loss of his brother meant, in a twisted way, that she was more available to him. Maybe he was the one who needed professional help.

He crossed to the CD player and turned down the volume. Noelle jumped. She sprang to her feet and the textbook hit the floor.

“Dev!” she said, obviously startled. “You’re home early.” She touched her hair, then fingered the hem of her tank top. “I’m not ready.”

“You live here,” he reminded her. “There’s nothing to get ready for.”

“Dinner,” she said as she folded her arms over her chest. “I was going to get changed.”

“You don’t have to for me. I think you look charming.”

She tried to smile, then failed. She reached up and pulled a band from her hair so that it tumbled loose around her shoulders.

The instant disarray was too sexy by far. Despite the steady hum of the air conditioner, he had the sudden need to unfasten his collar button and pull off his tie.

Instead he walked over to the large wrapped package he’d left by the entrance to the family room and held it out to her. “I brought you something.”

Her gaze locked on the box and a her mouth curved into a wide grin. “Really? For me.”

She tucked her hands behind her back, as if to keep herself from lunging toward the present.

“I felt badly about missing your birthday,” he admitted. He started to apologize for the previous night, then stopped, not wanting to get into all that right now.

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” she said politely, even as she practically quivered in anticipation.

“You’re not very good at this,” he said, then set the package down on the coffee table. “You’re saying all the right things, but I can tell you want to jump on the box and rip it open.”

She looked at him and smiled. “I love surprises. I was always the first one up on Christmas morning. Even now, my parents have to set a time limit so I won’t be downstairs, shaking boxes at five in the morning.”

“No one is making you wait but you.”

“If you’re sure,” she said even as she dropped to her knees in front of the coffee table and tugged at the wrappings. In a matter of seconds, she had the box open and was staring down at the sleek, silver laptop computer he’d bought her.

Dev perched on the edge of the overstuffed chair. “It’s lightweight, so you can take it to classes, and wireless. We have wireless high-speed in the house, so you can be online just about anywhere. Even out by the pool.”

She opened the top and ran her fingers over the keyboard. “Right. Because everyone wants to do e-mail poolside.” She turned to him. “Dev, this is really, really nice. I don’t know what to say.”

He shrugged. “I didn’t think you had one already.”

“I don’t. It’s terrific. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I thought later we could go online and register somewhere. You know, for gifts.”

Her eyes widened slightly and her lips parted, even though she didn’t speak.

“I know you were disappointed last night,” he admitted, feeling uncomfortable. “You surprised me. I hadn’t thought about things like showers and parties. I shouldn’t have left it all up to you.”

A warm, happy smile blossomed on her face. She left the laptop and shifted to him, crossing the few feet of area rug still on her knees. Then she put her hands on his thighs, leaned in and kissed him on the mouth.

“Thank you,” she said again. “In case no one has told you recently, you’re a pretty great guy.”

The soft pressure of her mouth lingered long after she’d pulled away. Desire exploded and he instinctively pulled away to help keep himself under control.

“Oh,” she breathed as she stood and took a step back. “Sorry. I was just saying thank you. I didn’t mean anything by…” She waved her hand vaguely in his direction.

Guilt ground into him. He swore silently. “Don’t apologize,” he told her gently. “We’re married. Kissing is allowed.”

“But you said you didn’t want that for us. It wasn’t part of the deal.”

Sex. She was talking about sex. Something he wasn’t going to experience again for a very long two years.

“I said I wasn’t marrying you to pressure you into sleeping with me,” he reminded her. “I didn’t want you to feel obligated. We’re living in the same house. We’re going to run into each other. We need to get comfortable with that, and with kissing. As far as the world’s concerned, we’re newlyweds. We have to act like it.”

“So my thank-you kiss was practice?” she asked.

There was something in her tone that made him wonder if she were holding in laughter. “If you want.”

She sighed. “There are very complicated rules here. It would help me a lot if we could get them in writing.”

He saw the humor in her gaze. “I’ll see what I can do,” he told her. “Maybe someone could stitch them in a pillow for us.”

“That would give our company something to talk about.”

He could only imagine.

Determined to make things right between them, he crossed to her, put his hands on her shoulders, then bent down and lightly brushed his mouth against her.

“You’re welcome,” he said. “Happy birthday a little late.”

This close he could see all the various colors of blue that made up her irises. Her lashes were surprisingly long and dark and there was a tiny freckle by the corner of her mouth.

He could hear the slight intake of air and feel the tension in her body. The very male part of him quickly pointed out that those were symptoms of a woman receptive to a man. That maybe, what with her not being wildly in love with Jimmy, she was open to getting involved with someone else—namely him.

Right—because he needed another disaster in his life. Noelle was wrong on so many levels. Most importantly, she was carrying his brother’s child. Whatever might have happened in the future, Jimmy had been involved with her when he died, and it was still Dev’s fault that his brother was dead.

“Thank you for my wonderful present,” she said as he lowered his hands to his side. “I made peanut butter cookies earlier. Would you like some?”

“Sure. They’re my favorite.”

She grinned. “Mine, too.”

She led the way into the kitchen.

Dev followed her and did his best to ignore the sway of her curved hips. Noelle was nothing like he’d imagined. She was a contradiction of terms. Still young and excited by presents, but mature and capable. Smart, funny and, as her mother had pointed out, not as tough as she thought. He would have to remember that. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her.

“This place is huge,” Lily said on Saturday morning as Noelle led her through the house. “I’m so jealous.”

“No, you’re not,” Noelle told her. “You’d hate this. You like changing guys at least twice a month. I don’t think you’re going to be willing to settle down for years.”

“That’s true, but the house is great.”

“Dev picked a really terrific decorator,” Noelle said, having met the woman for the first time the previous week when she’d come to supervise the work on the pool house. “Some of the antiques belonged to his grandmother.”

When Lily had called and said she wanted to come by, Noelle had been torn between welcoming a familiar face and not being sure she could handle the stress. She’d dropped by the church office twice the previous week so she could see her parents and ward off any plans for a surprise visit.

Having someone from her family in the house meant making sure there were no personal items showing in her bedroom and putting a few things on the dresser in Dev’s room.

Complications, she thought as she and Lily finished their tour and headed out to the backyard to have snacks by the pool.

“If I just didn’t have to be married, I could get into this,” Lily said. She sipped her soda and reached for a tortilla chip from the bowl.

“Good thing you’re going to college. You’re going to need a really great job to support this lifestyle.”

Lily wrinkled her nose. “I know. I’m still trying to decide what to study. You’ve known since your accident. Are you still going to be a nurse?”

Noelle nodded. “I start summer school on Monday. Calculus.”

“Yuck,” Lily said. “But aren’t you supposed to be on your honeymoon?”

Whoops. Noelle thought fast. “This wasn’t a good time for Dev to be away from work,” she said with a casualness she didn’t feel. “The wedding was a little impulsive, so we couldn’t plan for stuff like that. We’ll go later.”

“Too bad. It would be great to be away on a beach somewhere with a good-looking guy. I wouldn’t say no to that.” She looked at her sister. “Okay, so tell me everything.”

Noelle blinked at her. “About…”

“You know.” Lily lowered her voice, then whispered, “Sex. Mom told us all kinds of things, but that’s just logistics. I want details. Is it scary? Wonderful? Is it like in books? Do you see stars or feel swept away?”

Noelle felt herself blush. “I am not having this conversation with you,” she said sternly. “It’s not appropriate.”

“I’m eighteen, and your sister. Come on. How am I supposed to find out about this if you won’t tell me? You wouldn’t want me experimenting just so I could know for myself,” Lily added slyly.

“You’re manipulating me,” Noelle said. “Forget it. I’m not going to talk about that. It’s too personal.”

In truth it wasn’t personal at all. She simply didn’t have anything to say. Her lone night with Jimmy had been a blur, first of pain, then of uncomfortable intimacy. In the few hours they’d been together, he’d entered her a number of times, but before she could figure out what he was doing or what was expected, it had been over.

Plus, he’d been so heavy when he collapsed on her. She’d felt trapped and embarrassed and frankly, she didn’t get why everyone made such a big deal about it.

Dev stood just inside the family room, the sliding door open, one foot on the patio. He’d been about to go out and greet his new sister-in-law, but given the current topic, he decided a timely retreat was far more intelligent.

“At least tell me if it hurt the first time,” Lily said. “I can’t get a straight answer on that.”

“It did,” Noelle admitted. “It’s a little awkward. I didn’t know where to put my arms and stuff.”

Lily winced. “But Dev made it okay, right? He talked you through everything.”

“Yes, Dev was very patient and…and he made me laugh so I stopped being embarrassed. He made it great.”

If he hadn’t known better, even he would have been convinced by her words. But he did know better. Noelle was saying all the right things to convince her sister.

He stepped back into the house and quietly closed the slider. If Jimmy had been the typical twenty-yearold, Noelle’s first and only night of passion probably hadn’t been anything she remembered fondly. He, Dev, hadn’t been anything great in bed at that age. He found himself wanting to apologize for something that wasn’t his fault.

Later, when Lily left, he found Noelle in the kitchen.

“Did you enjoy having your sister drop by?” he asked.

She looked up from the vegetables she was chopping and smiled. “She’s always fun.”

“I started to come out on the patio to join you, but I heard what you were talking about,” he said.

She frowned for a second, then blushed. “Oh. That.”

“Thanks for the compliment.”

Her mouth twisted in a half smile. “I had to say something. I couldn’t admit my first time had been with Jimmy.”

“Or that it hadn’t been very good.”

She set down the knife and looked at him. “How did you know?” she asked, sounding shocked. “Did he say anything? Did he tell you I was awful?”

“He didn’t say a word. He didn’t have to.” Dev leaned against the counter. “It comes with the territory. Most young guys aren’t great in bed. They haven’t had the time to develop any skills, nor are they especially interested in anything but getting laid.” He grinned sheepishly. “At twenty, it’s all about getting laid.”

She eyed him. “Even for you?”

“I wasn’t always this smooth.”

That made her smile. “Thanks for telling me. I wasn’t sure what to think…I didn’t hate it, but it was…”

“Fast?” he asked wryly.

“A little. It hurt. I didn’t bleed or anything, but there was a lot of pressure and stretching.” She ducked her head. “I couldn’t figure out where everything went and I wasn’t comfortable asking questions.”

Dev had never made love with a virgin, but he would guess her complete lack of experience would complicate an already difficult situation.

“Next time it will be better,” he told her, refusing to picture the moment with Noelle. “As men get older, they learn a few things.”

“Like?”

He shifted, not sure he wanted to get into this with her. Talking about sex made it too easy to imagine making love with her. He did his best to shut down that part of his brain. Unfortunately his body refused to cooperate.

“It takes longer.”

She made a face. “And that’s a good thing?”

He laughed. “Okay, let me start at the beginning. Once the need for volume fades a little, most men start to get interested in pleasing their partners. There are things a man can do to make a woman excited and passionate about the experience. Once that happens, then yes, lasting longer is a good thing.”

She didn’t look convinced. She opened her mouth, then closed it.

The smart move would be to end the conversation now…before he got too interested. But he liked Noelle too much to shut her down.

“If you can’t ask me, who are you going to ask?” He shrugged. “What do you want to know?”

She looked at him. “So women do really have orgasms?” she asked, as color climbed up her cheeks.

“Sure. There are different ways of making that happen.”

He had a sudden and powerful image of Noelle naked, her knees bent, legs pulled back as he kissed her intimately, his tongue swirling around the very heart of her arousal. He wanted to cross the kitchen, strip off her clothes and touch every part of her. He wanted to taste her and feel her quiver beneath him as she experienced her very first climax.

“How do you know it’s happening?” she asked.

This was the strangest conversation he’d ever had. “If you have to ask, it didn’t happen.”

Despite her obvious embarrassment, she smiled. “That’s not very helpful.” She sighed. “I’ll have to take your word for all this. I don’t want to say anything bad about Jimmy, but that one night wasn’t very thrilling. Given the choice, I’d never do that again. But if it could be different…”

He felt blood swelling in his groin at the thought of showing her the possibilities.

“You’ve been with a lot of women,” she said.

A dangerous statement, he thought as he remained carefully quiet.

“Did they all like the sex part?”

“Yes.”

“You can be sure?”

“Good question and my male ego says yes. To the best of my knowledge, they all did.”

“So you can tell when a woman, uh…” The blush had returned, more fiery than ever.

“There are…physical manifestations.”

She looked startled. “You can feel that with your…” She cleared her throat. “You can feel that?”

“Sometimes.”

He didn’t want to get into the fact that they were easier to feel with his fingers than his erection. That comment would only lead to a discussion on what his fingers would be doing inside of her.

“Maybe you could get a book or something,” he said, wishing he could think of a good way to change the subject. If they kept this topic up much longer, she was going to notice his arousal and God knows what questions would follow then.

Noelle was far more curious than he’d realized. With his luck, she would want to see and touch and then they’d been in real trouble.

“I don’t think I could go into a bookstore and buy something like that,” she said.

“That’s why we have the Internet.” He paused. “Okay, then. I’ll let you get back to what you were doing.” He hurried from the kitchen and wondered how long it had been since he’d felt such a need for a woman, and if a cold shower would be any help at all.

“So,” Crissy said with a grin. “You’re married. How’s that going?”

Noelle laughed, which was a mistake because three stitches slipped off her needles and when she tried to put them back, she pulled out half a row.

“Good,” she said. “I mean, we’re adjusting. Dev is great. He’s really considerate and sweet. He didn’t know it was my birthday and when he found out, he bought me a laptop.”

Rachel sighed. “I really like that in a man. Someone who respects a good appliance. So romantic.”

“I thought it was a great gift,” Noelle said defensively. “I can really use it at college and the one he picked is small and lightweight and has wireless Internet. This isn’t a regular marriage. I didn’t expect a romantic gift.”

Rachel raised her eyebrows as she looked at Crissy. “She seems to be very protective of the new Mr. Noelle.”

“I noticed that,” Crissy said. “Interesting.”

Noelle knew they were only teasing. “You’re just jealous.”

“A little,” Rachel said. “Although last year one of my students brought me a baby white mouse for my birthday. It was very touching.”

Crissy laughed. “I would have run screaming from the room, but that’s just moi.” She looked back at Noelle. “You’re really doing okay? No weirdness?”

“The entire situation is weird. Dev is really great, but we don’t know each other. I’m not sure what he expects from me or even what I expect from him. So far we’re being very polite.”

“Good manners are always helpful,” Crissy offered. “I’m in favor of them.”

“Well, he knows plenty. We’re both trying. He even suggested I talk to a grief counselor about Jimmy if I thought I should.” She put down her project and leaned forward. “I told him I was fine. The thing is, I don’t feel like I need one. I missed Jimmy a lot at first, and I felt horrible after he died, but I’m not spending much time missing him.” Not really any time, she thought glumly. “Is that natural? Am I an awful person?”

Rachel looked at her. “For the sake of humor, I want to say ‘yes,’ but as your friend, I’ll tell the truth. Of course not. You feel what you feel. You guys didn’t date that long. It was intense because he left and then came back. Noelle, you never promised to love him forever.”

“But I slept with him.”

Crissy sighed. “Honey, women have been messing up their lives by sleeping with the wrong guy for centuries. You did it, I did it, I’m sure Rachel will admit she’s done it.”

Rachel nodded.

“No one can be smart all the time,” Crissy continued. “Circumstances change. We change. You make the best decision you can at the time and let it go.”

“Like marrying Dev,” Rachel added. “He sounds like a great guy. He’s the closest thing to a biological father the baby is going to have so it really makes sense for you two to be together.”

What they said sounded logical, Noelle thought. “I do like him,” she admitted. “This entire situation could have been a nightmare, but he’s gone out of his way to make things easy. I thought…” She smiled. “I thought we’d have nothing in common. I dreaded evenings, wondering what we’d talk about, but it’s easy. We like a lot of the same kinds of movies and he loves peanut butter cookies, which are my favorite.”

He’d even been willing to talk about sex with her, although she wasn’t going to share that with her friends.

“Uh-oh,” Rachel said, glancing at Crissy. “I didn’t see this coming.”

“It was always a possibility,” Crissy told her. “Close proximity, a shared interest, being part of an exciting event. There’s a reason birth rates soar after a blackout.”

Noelle stared at her friends. “What are the two of you talking about?”

“You, honey,” Crissy said. “You’ve got it bad.”

“Got what?” Noelle asked, not sure she wanted to know.

“You’re falling for Dev,” Rachel said kindly. “You have all the signs.”

“What? No! I’m not. I just appreciate how great he is.”

“Him being great is how it starts,” Crissy said.

Noelle refused to believe they were right. She liked Dev—under the circumstances, who wouldn’t? But it didn’t mean anything.

“You’re totally wrong,” she said. “But even if you’re not, what’s the big deal? We’re married. Shouldn’t I at least like the guy?”

“Only if he likes you back,” Crissy said. “The two of you made some pretty specific ground rules. If only one of you is willing to break them, then heartache could be right around the corner. I’d hate to see that happen.”

“I won’t get hurt,” Noelle said. “I like the guy, but that’s not the same as falling in love with him.”

“Keep it that way,” Rachel said. “Love is tricky. Now if you’re talking about breaking the no-sex rule, that’s more interesting.”

Noelle hated that she could already feel herself blushing. She cleared her throat. “Speaking of that,” she said, trying to sound casual, “I’ve been thinking about us, you know, maybe…”

Rachel leaned forward. “Doing the wild thing?”

Noelle groaned. “Don’t say that. It’s just, Jimmy and I, well, it was just the one night and it wasn’t very, you know, good.”

“Now I feel about ninety years old,” Crissy said with a sigh. “I can barely remember my first time. Which isn’t important. Look, technically, you’re married. Of course you’re welcome to have sex with your husband. Just be careful. You already like him. If he dazzles you in bed, you won’t have a chance.”

“I don’t believe that,” Noelle said. “It’s just a bodily function.”

“It can be a lot more,” Rachel told her. “It can be an expression of love that touches every part of you. Crissy’s right. Take care of yourself.”

Noelle wasn’t sure she agreed with their advice. “I’m already pregnant. What’s the worst that could happen?”