Читать книгу Secrets of a Bollywood Marriage - Susanna Carr - Страница 10

CHAPTER THREE

“DEV, WHERE ARE YOU?” The click of Shreya’s high heels announced her arrival before the woman appeared on the stone path. “I said I would act as the hostess, but that didn’t mean—oh, Tina!”

“Hello, Shreya,” Tina replied as calmly as she could while the anger swelled against her chest. Hostess? This woman who everyone wanted Dev to marry—his parents, the industry, the movie fans—had been the hostess in her home? How often had this occurred?

Tina glanced at Dev for confirmation. An explanation. He didn’t look at her, and why would he with the Bollywood goddess around? Her husband had welcomed Shreya with a smile but she couldn’t read his expression. Would he really be that blatant? Would he have installed his first choice of a wife in their home?

“I didn’t know you were back,” Shreya said as she ran her manicured fingers along her long black hair.

Liar, Tina thought with a tight smile. Shreya would have heard that Tina had made an appearance at the party. The woman not only wanted to run interference at any possible reunion, but she also wanted it to be known just how close she had become with Dev for the past few months.

Tina didn’t need to hear it from Shreya. She had learned quite a lot in the rolled-up tabloid that was crammed in the bottom of her purse. The cover story had been a mix of fact and speculation, but it was the snapshots around Mumbai that had been like a dagger to the heart. How long have these two been lovers? Dev said that he had been faithful, but Tina wasn’t so sure. He shared a past with Shreya and she wondered if they had reunited once he’d got rid of his wife.

Tina glared at the other woman. Shreya Sen had been voted one of the most beautiful women in the world. Tina reluctantly admitted the glamorous actress was stunning. She managed to be sexy and elegant at the same time. Tonight she wore a short and strapless red dress that accentuated her golden skin and feminine curves.

Shreya’s gaze swept over Tina’s casual clothes and bare face. “Nice haircut,” she murmured.

Tina’s hands clenched into fists and she refused to touch the short tufts. Instead she flashed a brilliant smile and curled her hand around Dev’s arm. It was painful being this close to him. Once she had clung to this man, believing he loved and cherished her. Now she knew he would break her heart without a second thought, that he was doing this for a business deal.

She trembled as she rested her fingers against his muscular arm. Tina gritted her teeth when he covered her hand with his. She knew it was part of the act but she felt trapped.

“Thank you,” Tina said hoarsely to Shreya as her pulse kicked hard. “It’s a very popular style in America.”

She felt Dev’s arm tense as he looked down at her. Their gaze held and Tina realized she had just revealed where she’d been for the past few months. She needed to guard her tongue before she confessed everything.

“What do you think of my new look?” Tina prompted Dev.

“I like it,” he replied, his eyes darkening as he reached up and tweaked the spiky ends between his fingertips.

He hated it. Tina knew he would but that didn’t stop her. It may have been the deciding factor for such a dramatic change. She had wanted a fresh start and was prepared to shed her old self. Cutting her hair had been symbolic of the new and improved Tina Sharma. She’d regretted it the moment she had walked out of the salon.

“America?” Shreya’s loud voice jarred Tina out of her daze. “Is that where you’ve been? People have been treating it like it’s a secret.”

“I wanted some privacy while I recuperated.” Tina said as she rested her head against Dev’s shoulder. Her throat tightened as she remembered how easy it had been in the past to make this simple gesture. “I could stay in America and not be noticed.”

“Oh, Tina.” Shreya clucked her tongue and shook her head. “You didn’t need to go that far away. I’m sure you could walk around Mumbai undetected.”

Tina took a deep breath as the cutting words found their target, like a stiletto under the ribs. She didn’t need the reminder that her career was almost dead and that it had never reached the same heights as the guests at the party. “I wasn’t willing to take the chance.”

“Shall we go back inside?” Shreya suggested and motioned for everyone to return to the party. She was obviously unwilling to relinquish her role as the hostess.

“Yes,” Dev said before Tina could make any response. He held her hand tighter against his arm as he guided her along the path. She was tempted to break free but she refused to show any clues of her crumbling marriage in front of Shreya.

As Dev and Shreya talked about one of the guests, Tina let the words wash over her. She didn’t want to return to the party. She wanted to curl up in her bed and block out the world. But she knew that wasn’t going to help her situation. She had hidden away for too long and lost everything in the process.

When she stepped inside the billiards room, Tina wobbled as a wave of tiredness crashed through her. She pulled away from Dev and struggled to remain standing when she wanted to rush out of the room, the house, her old life and never return.

“Stay here and I’ll get you something to drink,” Dev told her.

Tina sighed with frustration as she watched her husband and Shreya get swallowed up in the crowd. She didn’t want a drink and she certainly didn’t want to see Shreya wrapping her arm around Dev’s as if they were more than just friends. She was glad it wasn’t Dev who initiated the contact, but she noticed he didn’t shake off Shreya’s touch.

“Tina Sharma!” someone squealed over the bhangra music. “Where have you been?”

Tina stiffly turned around and saw two women approach her. Dread twisted her stomach and she gritted her teeth. Prisha was a choreographer and Khushi was a famous playback singer. Khushi was in high demand and did all the singing for the most popular actresses, and when Prisha was attached to a movie, it guaranteed success. Both of these women had power and influence Tina could only dream of.

“It’s been a long time,” Tina said as they greeted each other with air kisses. “You both look wonderful.” Once again she wished she’d had the chance to change into a party dress. Then she wouldn’t look like the outsider that she was.

“Thank you. By the way,” Prisha said as she placed her hand on Tina’s shoulder, “I didn’t have a chance to give my condolences.”

Tina froze as the sudden tears stung her eyes. No, no, no! The grief surrounded her suddenly and threatened to pull her down. She wasn’t prepared for this.

“It was such a shame,” Prisha said, her insincerity shining through her eyes as she moved closer. “I couldn’t believe you had miscarried so late in your pregnancy.”

“It was a painful time for both of us,” Tina said brokenly. She wanted to get away but she couldn’t move her feet. She needed to change the subject but fragmented images flickered through her mind.

“Did the doctors figure out what went wrong?” Khushi asked.

Tina closed her eyes. She knew she would have to deal with these questions, but she wasn’t prepared to share those dark moments with anyone. “No,” she croaked.

Prisha gave a sympathetic pat on her shoulder. “I’m sure next time you’ll be more careful.”

Tina gasped as the pain radiated through her. She jerked away and glared at Prisha, hating how the other woman’s eyes glittered triumphantly. How did she know that the guilt and confusion swirled around her mind at night? That she continued to question what she could have done differently to save her baby?

“She’s just offering advice,” Khushi said as she held her hands up in surrender. “You’ll need to get pregnant again soon if you want to stay married to Dev.”

Get pregnant? No, never again. She’d made that decision months ago and it broke her heart to think she wouldn’t be a mother. But she refused to take another risk. She couldn’t relive the fear and hopelessness. The devastation. It was a matter of survival.

Tina swiped the tip of her tongue over her lips as she struggled to maintain her composure. “What are you trying to say?”

“What everyone else is,” Khushi said with a sly smile before she strolled away, arm in arm with Prisha. “That the only reason Dev married you was because you were carrying the Arjun heir.”

Tina refused to watch the women leave. She stared straight ahead, the party a blur, as the anger bubbled up inside her. She had no comeback or argument. She had nothing to defend herself with because the women spoke the truth.

Tina remembered the moment she had told Dev she was pregnant. She had been uncertain how he would respond. She’d known the baby was going to change the course of his life but she hadn’t expected the excitement to leap in his eyes. His wide smile and fierce embrace had told her everything she’d needed to know. His immediate marriage proposal was more than she could have ever hoped.

He was a better actor than she gave him credit for.

But no one thought she had deserved the marriage proposal. Moviegoers were furious, believing the seductress should never get the hero. Her colleagues didn’t think a girl from the slums was worthy of the Arjun name. There was a hierarchy in the Hindi film industry and she had broken the rules when she’d married Dev. Some reporters and bloggers had gone so far as to suggest she’d got what she deserved when she miscarried.

She jumped, her memories scattering, when Dev thrust a tall glass of mango juice in her hands. “You look pale,” he said with a frown.

“It’s from the jet lag.” She didn’t want him to know how fragile she felt. Couldn’t, not unless she wanted him to step all over her for the next few months. “If I’d had a chance to put on some makeup and—”

“Tina!” She turned to see Dev’s best friend stretch out his arms before he greeted her with a hug. “Where the hell have you been?”

“It’s good to see you, too, Nikhil.” And she meant it. Ordinarily, she would not have anything in common with a man like Nikhil Khanna. Born into a Bollywood dynasty, Nikhil was rich, educated and had a flair for writing screenplays. Her family had no connections and she had not finished school, yet they had quickly become friends.

“It’s been too long.” Nikhil held her gaze and she saw the serious glint in his eyes. “Your husband missed you.”

Her stomach curled with fear. How much did Nikhil know? Did Dev confide in his friend? “And you didn’t?” she asked lightly.

Nikhil gave a dramatic sigh. “You have no idea how much I missed you.”

Dev brushed his friend’s hand off her. “Watch it, Nikhil.”

Tina glanced up at Dev. She hadn’t heard her husband use that tone with Nikhil before. She was surprised at the possessiveness etched in Dev’s harsh features. Tina gave a cautious look at Nikhil.

The other man didn’t seem to mind as he rolled his eyes. “Now you can deal with Dev’s bad temper and late-night rants against the world.”

“Dev?” That didn’t make sense. Her husband was known for his charisma and charm.

“Like I said, your husband missed you.” Nikhil reached for her untouched drink and set it down on a nearby table. “Let’s dance.”

Dance? Horror snaked inside her. “No, no.” She took a step away and bumped into Dev’s solid body. “Not tonight.”

“How can you say that?” Nikhil said over the upbeat music. “You were born to dance.”

She had heard that many times throughout the years. Dancing had been her escape and her creative outlet. She was constantly aware of the music around her and had to express it through movement. Dev had once said that he thought she couldn’t go through a day without dancing.

And then suddenly her body betrayed her. Failed her. Her senses had shut down. She couldn’t move. Didn’t feel the music inside her. It was as if her mind blocked it all out. She hadn’t danced since the loss of her son.

“The only person she’s going to dance with is me,” Dev announced as he wrapped his arm around her waist. “But first she needs to greet a few of our guests.”

Tina gave an apologetic glance to her friend as Dev dragged her away. Within minutes, her face was stiff from forcing a smile as she met with the guests. They all were part of the Hindi film industry but they were not her colleagues. Once they had been her inspiration as she watched their movies and read about them in the magazines. Now she wished she had never met them in real life. They were nothing like the heroes and heroines they played.

“Why are you friends with these people?” Tina asked as Dev escorted her to another room. She had fielded questions about her absence but no one had really missed her. They were more curious than concerned.

“Only a few of them are friends,” Dev admitted, giving a nod of acknowledgment to an actor as they kept walking. “Most of our guests want something from me, and they wouldn’t hesitate to stab me in the back the first chance they get.”

“Then why invite them into your home?” she muttered.

“Our home, jaan,” he gently corrected as his fingers tightened against her waist. “This time it’s because we have completed filming.”

She frowned. She should’ve known that Dev would have immediately returned to work as if nothing had happened between them. “What project?”

His grip tightened painfully. Was it her imagination or was there a hunted look in Dev’s eyes?

“It was a modern retelling of Majnu and Laila,” he said tersely.

She was surprised he had chosen to do a romantic movie, especially one that followed the classic Persian love story. A romance that was more tragic than Romeo and Juliet with a poor man falling in love with a rich girl. They were forbidden to see each other and Majnu was driven mad with love. Driven mad by Laila.

“You should have seen his performance, Tina.” One of the inebriated guests interrupted, looping his arms around Dev’s shoulders. “It was stunning. It’s like nothing you’ve ever seen. The grief! The pain! You could see him descend into madness.”

Madness. Her breath lodged in her throat as she stared at Dev. She jerked out of his hold as if his touch burned her. She knew all about grief and madness. She had been surrounded by it. At times she thought it had engulfed her.

“I’m serious, Tina,” the guest said, unaware of the maelstrom of emotions whipping between them. “It was chilling.”

“I’m sure it was.” She forced the words out as her chest squeezed her lungs. It hurt to breathe. To stand tall when she wanted to fold into a heap. “I’m sorry,” Tina said to their guest as she pressed her hand against her head. “But my jet lag is getting worse.”

“You should lie down,” Dev said. “I’ll come with you.”

Tina ignored his outstretched hand. She was tempted to wrap her arms tightly around her body to protect herself. She didn’t want Dev to touch her or be close to her.

“No need. I’ll just get some water. I’ll be right back,” she lied as she hurried away. “Stay here.”

* * *

Early next morning Dev glanced up from skimming the newspaper when he heard the chime of Tina’s bangles. Finally. She had escaped the party last night and he wondered if she was going to hide upstairs all day.

He set down the newspaper as he waited for her to arrive at the breakfast table. Dev grimaced when he heard her hesitant footsteps. Was she considering another escape plan? That was not part of the deal. He wanted—demanded—a devoted wife and he was going to have it even if it meant he had to hunt her down and drag her to the table.

Tina appeared barefoot at the doorway, wearing a pale pink shalwar kameez. The tunic and drawstring pants hid her curves. She looked incredibly innocent and feminine, nothing like the seductress roles she played in her movies. But Dev knew Tina was not one or the other. She was an irresistible mix of sweet and spice.

Dev immediately stood up and pulled out a seat for her. “I expected you to sleep all morning.”

She gave a little bobble of her head. “I would have but the jet lag has a strange effect on my sleep.”

“And on your sense of direction?” Dev asked as he watched her pass the chair he held out for her. “I found you sleeping in one of the guest rooms.”

She dipped her head and hurriedly sat down across the table from him. “I crashed in the first bed I found.”

He didn’t believe it. Tina was avoiding their marriage bed again. Avoiding him. “That was not our agreement.” He had gone so far as to gather her in his arms last night, intent on carrying her back to their bed. He had expected her to kick and lash out. Instead she had snuggled against his chest and given a sigh that had almost brought him to his knees. He had known he wouldn’t be able to sleep next to her, not with his willpower in shreds. Dev had reluctantly returned her to her bed, tucked the sheets around her and left her in peace.

Dev sat back down as Tina added vegetables and eggs to her plate. Her eyes lit up at a serving platter that was covered with a towel. “Are those pooris?” she said in a whisper.

“The cook made these in honor of your return,” Dev said and saw a smile curve on her lips. It was the first time since she’d arrived that he’d seen her happy. It had been even longer since he’d seen her show excitement.

She grabbed for the hot fried bread. “It feels like I haven’t had these in forever.”

He watched as she reverently broke the poori with her fingers. She inhaled the fragrant steam before she scooped up the lightly spiced potatoes with it. She popped the morsel in her mouth and her face softened. Tina closed her eyes and groaned with pleasure.

The sound stabbed at his chest. Dev’s body tightened as the desire heated his blood. It took effort for him to lean back in his chair and study his wife instead of reaching for the pooris and feeding her. She was a sensual woman who enjoyed her food. She loved to cook as much as she loved to eat. But this was different. He was watching a homecoming.

“You missed pooris,” he murmured.

Tina blushed and covered her mouth with her hand. “I missed spicy food. Indian food. Good food.”

She missed that more than she had missed him. “Why didn’t you make it yourself?”

Tina stilled. “It’s better at home.”

She wasn’t telling him the truth. The woman who found it satisfying to cook, who found pleasure in cooking for her loved ones, hadn’t prepared a meal in months. Yet, she hadn’t starved. In fact, she had regained the weight she couldn’t afford to lose.

But why hadn’t she cooked? Or danced? When they had socialized with their guests at the party, he had noticed that her command of the English language had greatly improved. Where had she been all this time? What had she been doing? And with whom?

Tina bent her head as if the food on her plate required all of her concentration. “Why are you at home, Dev? Shouldn’t you be at work?”

He glanced at his watch. He needed to go to the Arjun Studios and decided to take Tina with him. It may be too soon to reintroduce her to work, but what if she disappeared while he was away? There had been no hint, no discussion, when she had suddenly left him in Los Angeles. He couldn’t shake the feeling that she would do it again.

She wouldn’t, Dev decided. Her career was too important to her and dangling his connections was just the right bait to keep her near. “I will this morning and you will come with me.” He raised his hand to stop her complaint. “You want my connections? This is the best way for directors and producers to get to know you. And we have special guests waiting for us there.”

“Who?” She stopped chewing and glanced up at him. The pleasure fled from her face as resignation set in. “Your parents?”

She didn’t know. Dev stared into her eyes and knew she wasn’t pretending. How could she not have known? It had been international news months ago. Even if she were in America she would have seen the headlines.

“No,” he said gruffly. “Your family will be there.”

“My family—my mother is at Arjun Studios?” Tina bolted from her seat. “Why? When?”

Dev thought Tina would have been happy with the news. He hadn’t expected this level of panic. He had only met her family a handful of times as Tina had made an effort to keep her family away. He hadn’t thought much about it until now. “What’s wrong?”

She paused and bit her lip. “How did they contact you? Do they know that I’m back?”

“I contacted them. In fact, I’ve been in touch with them since you were missing.”

She winced. “Oh, you have no idea what you’ve done.” Tina clapped her palms against her cheeks as she began to pace. “What did you tell them?”

“What I told everyone. That you were recuperating from your miscarriage. They had no idea where you were. Why couldn’t you trust your mother with the truth?” What had she been hiding that was so horrible she couldn’t even tell her family?