Читать книгу Secrets of a Bollywood Marriage - Susanna Carr - Страница 9

CHAPTER TWO

TINA COULDN’T DRAG her gaze away from Dev. She saw the storm in his eyes but he didn’t move. The air between them crackled. A tremor swept through Dev’s body as he forcibly restrained his anger. “You’re not thinking straight,” he said hoarsely.

How many times had she heard him say that? “So you’re going to do it for me? No thanks.” He had tried to take over her life. And for a while he had succeeded. She had been too grief-stricken, in too much in pain, to care.

Dev closed his eyes. “I never should have taken you to Los Angeles.”

“Why did you?” She refused to respond to the agony in his voice. Although she had felt too weak to travel, Dev had insisted she accompany him to the United States while he filmed several scenes for his blockbuster movie. She’d like to think Dev had been so in love with her that he couldn’t imagine spending a night apart. Instead, she’d barely seen him. She had been alone and isolated. At times she’d felt like she was being punished for some unknown reason.

Dev slowly opened his eyes and glared at her. “You needed someone to look after you. You were not yourself after the miscarriage.”

His gaze clashed with hers and Tina’s skin went cold. Miscarriage. He said the word with no problems but it had the power to send her into a tailspin. It still dragged her to those tense moments when the fear choked her. When she was alone, making wishes and prayers that went unanswered. When the doctors told her that she had lost her baby son.

“Not myself? How would you know?” she asked. “You weren’t there. You made it very clear that you didn’t want to be married anymore. That there was no longer a reason.”

His breath hitched audibly in his throat. “Is that how you see it?”

Tina looked away. She didn’t want to think about how Dev had no interest in her, especially after she’d lost the baby. Not now, not when the dark and confusing emotions were rolling through her. “You were the first to walk away. What else am I supposed to think?”

Dev sighed heavily and speared both hands through his hair. “I didn’t walk away—you pushed me away. You wouldn’t talk to me or look at me. You moved out of the bedroom and—”

Tina’s head snapped back. “Excuse me for grieving!” she hissed. She wasn’t going to allow Dev to treat her emotions as weakness. “We all can’t shake it off and return to our normal life the day after the loss of our son.”

“Don’t.” Dev took a step forward. “Hate me all you want, Tina, but don’t you dare suggest that I wasn’t grieving. I didn’t have the luxury of hiding away from the world.”

His words were like a punch to the chest. Tina flinched as she stared at him with wide eyes. “Luxury?” He made it sound as if she’d had a choice. As if she’d willingly surrendered to the grief that almost suffocated her.

Dev stared at her with a mesmerizing intensity. “You seem healthier than you did four months ago.” He looked deep into her eyes and gave a satisfied nod. “Stronger.”

He had no idea, Tina realized. She could stride into the house as if she were a queen and confront her enemy with the daring of a warrior, but it was all an act. Four months ago she had been broken, but Dev’s indifference had crushed her. She had tried to put the pieces back together but she didn’t think she would feel whole or strong again.

“I know how to take care of myself. I’ve done it most of my life,” Tina said. There had only been one time when she couldn’t. After the miscarriage, she had wanted to lean on Dev until she got stronger. Instead, he had taken advantage of her weakness. “But I’m not here about that.” She needed to get this over with so she could move on with her life.

“How do you feel now?”

Powerless. Heartbroken. Determined. “I’m ready for the next step of my life.”

Dev didn’t move but Tina sensed his stillness. His tension. It was as if he could predict what she was about to say.

Tina’s heart started to race. It fluttered wildly against her rib cage and it hurt when she took a deep breath. “I want a divorce.”

“No.”

She blinked at his immediate reply. Unlike her husky words, his refusal was clear and unemotional. “What do you mean, no?”

“We are not getting a divorce,” he announced as he took another step closer. There was a wintry cold glint in his eyes. “I will fight you every step of the way.”

Tina stared at him as her confusion rolled in like dark clouds. That was not the answer she had expected. She had imagined this moment many, many times and assumed Dev would agree with a brisk, almost impatient manner. It was obvious he didn’t want her anymore. Why continue this sham of a marriage?

“I’m offering something we both want,” she whispered.

“I want an explanation. I want to know what was going through your head during those days we were in America. How do you think it made me feel walking into that hotel room and finding that the only thing waiting for me was that note?”

Tina frowned at his tone. Her brief letter had offended him. Angered him. He was lucky she had given him that much. She could have poured out her broken heart, but instead she’d simply stated that she wanted to be left alone.

“Where did you go?” he asked.

“Around. Anywhere quiet where I could think. Where you couldn’t make decisions for me,” she said. “I needed time to decide what I want to do next.”

Dev tossed his hands up in the air as the frustration billowed from him. “You didn’t have to leave to do that.”

But she had. Dev had too much power. She didn’t know why he’d bothered making decisions for her. At times she wondered if he had forgotten her existence. “You took over my life.” Her voice trembled as she tried to keep her composure.

“I was taking care of you the best way I knew how,” he said through clenched teeth.

“No, you were getting back to your old life with as little inconvenience as possible,” she said. “I was no longer pregnant with your child and therefore, no longer necessary in your life.”

Dev reached out and grasped her arms with his large hands. “If that’s how I’d felt, I wouldn’t have married you.”

“You had to marry me. What would have happened to your brand if you hadn’t?” His family had meticulously created his brand image for years as the romantic hero. The value and power of his brand would have taken a big hit if he had abandoned his pregnant girlfriend. “So you married me to protect your career. The magazines did features about how you had settled into family life but they didn’t know how eager you were to return to your bachelor days.”

“That is not what happened.” His fingers dug into her arms. Tina sensed he wanted to shake her.

“Really? I know what I saw when I arrived here this evening. You were having the time of your life. Tell me, how many parties have you had in the past four months?”

“I wasn’t celebrating. It’s part of the business. You know that.”

She knew that Dev Arjun lived and breathed the mainstream Hindi film industry. It wasn’t work or drudgery. He enjoyed every moment of it. Dev was more comfortable on the soundstage than in his home. And from what the gossip magazines suggested, he preferred the company of starlets over his wife. “How many women have there been?”

“I’ve been faithful.” His eyes glittered. “Can you say the same?”

Her eyes widened with surprise. Dev thought she had found someone else? She had never considered it. She had spent the past months fighting for her life, struggling to get through the next day, the next moment. But Dev didn’t know that.

Did he think she was capable of gallivanting through the world, hopping from one bed to the next? The idea made her stomach curl. The only man she had ever wanted didn’t want her. The man she had fallen in love with had been in her imagination. A man who loved and adored her. A man who would lay down his life to protect his family.

That man no longer existed. She wasn’t sure if he ever had. Sometimes she wondered if she fell in love with the fantasy that the Bollywood movie machine created.

Loving that Dev had given her strength but it had also been her blind spot. She had lowered her guard and had tried to lean on him when she had fallen apart. Only he hadn’t been there when she’d needed him. He hadn’t been there for her during their entire marriage.

She thrust out her chin. “All I’m willing to say is that I want a divorce.”

His eyes narrowed as he noticed she didn’t answer his question. “And my answer is still and will always be no.”

“I’m going to get one,” she insisted as she wrenched herself away from his hold. “But first I’m going to get my things and move out.”

Tina turned on her heel and marched across the courtyard. She prayed he wouldn’t follow. She didn’t want to be alone with Dev in their bedroom. She would already be bombarded with too many intimate memories.

That was where Dev held the most power over her. One touch, one kiss and she was his. She squeezed her eyes shut as she tried to forget how wild she had been in their bed. He had always been in control as he guided her to a world of pleasure.

“Tina, wait,” he called out to her. “We can’t get a divorce...now.”

Tina stopped. There was something about his sudden compromise that put her on full alert. She slowly turned around. “What are you talking about?”

He didn’t meet her gaze. “I’m negotiating with a few investors. Our film company has taken a financial hit in the past few months.”

Few months? It was more like a year, Tina decided. She knew Dev’s parents had wanted him to marry Shreya Sen, the daughter of a beloved Bollywood family. Had that arranged marriage happened, Dev would have been the most powerful and influential person in the mainstream Hindi film industry. His legacy would have been guaranteed to last generations. But she had ruined all that.

Dev approached her. “The problem is that they think I’m a lot like the characters I play. A daredevil, reckless...”

“That’s what happens when you demand to do your own stunts.” She understood his need to take risks. Dev had to push himself to the limit. She knew better than to ask him to stop, even when it tore her up inside as she watched him cheat death.

“But they think being married has changed me. They think I’m more cautious.” He shrugged. “If I have a stable family environment, I come across as a better investment.”

She did not like where this was heading. “What does this have to do with me?”

“We need to stay married—”

“Forget it.”

“—until I get the backing I need.”

“I’m not doing it.” Dev could find backing elsewhere. There were so many people who wanted to be part of his world and his projects. Why was this deal different?

“Think about it, Tina,” he said softly as he stood in front of her. “This means a lot of money. A better divorce settlement for you.”

She frowned. Why did Dev always throw money at her? It was as if he knew she was constantly worried about her finances. “I have a career of my own. I can support myself.”

Dev raised his hands as if he was trying to calm her down. “You used to, but you’ve been away from the camera for six months.”

“It doesn’t matter. Mumbai makes almost a thousand movies a year. I’ll find something.” She sounded more confident than she felt. Her acting career had been struggling before she met Dev. Her savings were almost depleted and she needed a job as soon as possible.

“You can find a role—a good one, a career-changing one—with the right connections.”

“No kidding.” It was a well-known fact of the industry. She kept auditioning for roles while the children of Bollywood legends were offered starring roles without trying for them. It didn’t matter if they couldn’t act, dance or speak Hindi. It wasn’t fair, but it was the business. Every Bollywood movie needed a big name.

“I can use my connections for you,” Dev said. “If you stay in this marriage.”

“No, thank you. I didn’t use them while we were together and I’m not using them now.” Every reporter had suggested she had married Dev for her career. Those accusations stung, but most of all, she didn’t want Dev to think it was true.

“I can find a project for you that Arjun Entertainment is producing.”

“So you can control my career the same way you tried to control me?” she shot back.

He gave her a thunderous look. “I can use those very connections against you, jaan.”

Tina’s mouth dropped. “What are you saying? That you will have me blacklisted?” she asked in a horrified whisper as the tears sprang in her eyes. “If I don’t agree to this arrangement, you’ll ruin my career?”

Dev didn’t say anything.

“I need to work.” Her mother and sisters relied on her salary. Directors knew she was reliable and hardworking, but none of that would matter if the Arjun family made their wishes known. “You can’t do that!”

Her husband was unmoved by her pleas. “Act like a devoted wife for the next two months—until after our wedding anniversary—and I will grant you a divorce.”

* * *

Dev regretted the moment those words came out of his mouth. He would never destroy the career Tina had spent most of her life building. The only time he had kept her from working was when her health had been at risk. Even then, it had been too late. They had already lost their baby boy. He would do anything to make her dreams come true, but he wasn’t going to lose her like they lost their son. She should know that.

But Tina had decided he was the enemy. An obstacle she needed to overcome. Since they had married he had treated her like delicately spun glass. Had been careful not to upset his pregnant bride. Not that it had done any good. They’d still lost the baby and it had created more distance between them. It was time to change tactics.

“Why are you doing this to me?” she asked brokenly. Dev couldn’t bear to see her like this, but it was nothing like the deadened look she had given him four months ago. That had scared him in a way that still gave him nightmares. “Is this because your career suffered when you married me? Is this some sort of payback?”

“I need a wife.” He needed Tina. His life had always been focused sharply on his career until the moment he had seen Tina Sharma on the stage during a wedding. The woman danced like fire. Her movements were sensual and spellbinding. Fierce and elemental. It was as if she was dancing just for him. He knew he had to claim her.

Their whirlwind affair had showed no signs of slowing down. They were electrifying in bed. It still amazed him that Tina had been a virgin when they met. She knew how to make him hot and rock-hard faster than the most experienced seductress.

He’d always known that she loved him and had never questioned it until the fire inside her had snuffed out. Dev had thought maybe her love wasn’t strong enough to last a lifetime. It had begun to fade and nothing he’d done had been able to stop it.

Her love couldn’t have been that strong. Couldn’t have been real. Perhaps it had been simply desire. Infatuation. Maybe she had been in love with the fantasy hero he had created onscreen.

When he’d seen her standing in the billiards room tonight, his first thought had been that his mind had been playing tricks. He had dreamed of Tina every night and his wishes had spilled into his waking moments. Yet this time her beautiful face was bare and her ebony hair stood up in spikes. Her wrinkled and loose clothes concealed her gentle curves. He hadn’t been dreaming. She had finally returned. He’d thought this was a sign that she wanted to save their marriage. Instead she wanted to break the bond between them.

“I don’t want to be your wife,” Tina said.

Dev braced himself as those words pierced him. He was going to change her mind. All he needed was time and the fire that had slowly extinguished between them would burn hot and strong again. Only this time he wouldn’t ignore the signs of trouble. “Play along for the next two months and I will not contest the divorce,” he lied.

“Two months?” She shook her head. “That’s too long.”

It wasn’t long enough. “Pretend to be a devoted, adoring wife. It shouldn’t be a problem for you.”

Her eyes narrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He wondered now how much of the love she expressed had been genuine. If it had been real, how could he have lost it so quickly? “You’re an actress. You can do it.”

Tina cast him a suspicious look. “And what do you mean by devoted and adoring wife?”

“We act like a happily married couple.” At this moment, he would accept the fake intimacy and forced smiles. Anything that he could build on. “There are people watching us all the time. Servants, the public, our colleagues. We can’t give them any indication that we’re going to get a divorce.”

“Does this mean you’re going to act like a devoted and adoring husband?”

He frowned. “Yes, of course.” He didn’t need to pretend. His conduct shouldn’t be questioned. “We will share this house and a bed.”

She held her hands up and took a step back. “I’m not agreeing to that.”

Dev gritted his teeth. Where was the newlywed bride who had been so eager to start their married life? Where was the seductive woman who would find him at his desk in the middle of the night and drag him back to bed? “You are in no position to negotiate.”

Tina bent her head and curled in her shoulders. She wrung her hands and whispered something to herself. Dev watched as she struggled to make a decision. She acted as if she was making an unpalatable deal with the devil.

She suddenly lifted her head and met his gaze. “I will stay here for two months,” she said furiously. “I will act like a devoted wife if I have to, but I am not having sex with you.”

“Wait until you get an offer before you reject it,” he said coldly. There had been a time when she couldn’t keep her hands off him. Did she hate him that much? Was this plan to regain her love impossible? “But we will need to sleep in the same bed.”

“Then you’ll need to sleep with one eye open,” she said with false sweetness.

“Tina, nothing you say or do is going to scare me off.” He leaned down until his mouth almost brushed her ear. “Or are you the one who’s scared? Worried that you’ll reach out for me in the middle of the night.”

“No!” She jumped back as if she’d been burned. “That was before I learned that you were not the kind of husband I wanted.”

And he had two months to prove to Tina that he was the only man she needed. “We need to return to our guests,” he said as he reached for her hand.

She crossed her arms tightly. “I’m in no mood to party.”

“I don’t care.” Dev continued to hold out his hand. She had finally come back into his life and he wanted her at his side. He wasn’t going to give her any excuse to create more distance.

She threaded her tense fingers in her short hair and looked down at her jeans. “I need to change first.”

“No.” She would barricade herself into the room the first chance she got.

Tina’s lips flattened into a stern line as she debated her next move. Dev was tempted to grab her hand and gather her close. Hold her tightly against him until their heartbeats were in unison and their movements were one.

“Dev?” A familiar lilting voice carried through the courtyard.

Dev swallowed back an oath when he heard Shreya Sen’s voice. He watched as Tina jerked her head up. She took a step back and glared at him. “What is she doing here?”

“Careful, jaan.” Dev grasped her hand. Her fingers were curled into a fist. “You are supposed to be my devoted wife.”

“Devoted?” Tina exhaled sharply. “Oh, I’ll give you devoted. I’ll give you such a performance that you’re going to wish you never made this deal.”