Читать книгу Counseling the Contemporary Woman - Suzanne Degges-White - Страница 85

Despite the fact that young women tend to commit to monogamous relationships or marriage much later nowadays, they still prioritize selection of a significant other during this phase of life. For many young women, this will be the most important choice they make. Mate selection is a complex process affected by a number of variables, including initial physical attraction, proximity, similarity, reciprocity, and complementarity (Lemme, 2006). Such factors may serve as various screens or filters through which young women select some individuals for continued consideration and eliminate others. Research continues to indicate that women place a higher priority on qualities other than physical attractiveness, such as socioeconomic status, ambition, character, and intelligence, while men primarily focus on physical attractiveness (Feingold, 1992; Lemme, 2006). Research shows that women tend to marry those similar to themselves in terms of age, physical attractiveness, personality traits, education, cognitive abilities, attitudes, and social class background. When a woman finds a potential partner who possesses desirable characteristics and shows evidence of reciprocal attraction, this potential mate may be perceived as presenting an opportunity for further self-expansion and self-enhancement through the psychological incorporation of the resources that he or she is bringing into a close relationship (Aron & Aron, 1986; Hartin 1990). In other words, we tend to fall in love with those who possess qualities we lack but who also complement us in some way and are relatively similar to us in values and background. Choosing a significant other may present itself as an exciting time; for others, it could be an anxiety-provoking process due to the challenges and risks inherent in relationship building. As with any transition, going from a single to a committed status requires compromises and adjustments that can be challenging for many women.