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Chapter 2. My story and my paintings

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The first work, 2015


I am a happy and a successful woman, a grandmother and a mother. I managed to make my dreams come true. I have excellent relations with my family members, we all live in different countries and even on different continents. We truly have an international family. I do what I love, which makes me happy. I travel the world and I get pleasure and inspiration from it. My travels and my discoveries encouraged me to write this book about my findings and reflections. This is my gift to you, my readers. In my professional life, I noticed that personal relationships between people greatly affect the result of work. The same message can be perceived easily by one person and rejected by another one. Many things have already been voiced somewhere and by someone, but there are always people who will receive this message only from me. Also, there are people for whom only another author is suitable. This is the law of freedom of choice and predisposition.

For a long time, I lived a normal life that most people have. The difficulties that I faced taught me lessons in life. I endured them differently. There were moments of deep despair and not even a desire to live. Dissatisfaction with life pushed me to look for the meaning of life. Books began to come across to me, by that time “perestroika” (reformation) had begun in the country. From the books, I discovered the meaning of religion and spiritual development. In order to rise to the light, I had to fall to the bottom. Experience acquired by my soul is priceless. I started to draw in the adulthood. It was an unconscious strong desire that I could not resist. I did not have canvas nor paper. Paint I was able to find from my daughter’s room. All my children are very talented in art, each in its own way. At that time, I was experiencing a deep depression. Only my responsibility for the children kept me in this world.

My first piece was in dark colors. A lot of space and uncertainty, also a desire for a change and joy and love for life was present in that painting. It has the energy of awakening, awakening from sleep, and a powerful call to life, to the Universe. I drew it using an old canvas that my daughter used for her practice. There were only small inclusions of light and purity. Our inner voice of the soul is always present in us and we just need to stop and listen to it. It was the cry of my soul, the cry that proclaimed to the Universe my desire for a new and a happy life. This also served as an incentive for me to regain my physical health. Using colors, I began to open the world of my soul and restore my mental balance. This was the beginning of gaining self-confidence. I was surprised and at the same time I felt a burst of strength and energy. There is a method of treating people with psychological disorders through the use of paint, splashing out their emotions on paper. All artistic paintings of artists only reflect their inner world. In some modern museums, I simple cannot be, I just get physically ill from unbalanced energy coming from some of the paintings.

Each work of art has it’s own multi-dimensionality. This is the world of color, sensation, and emotion that the artist has communicated to the beholder. My paintings have healing and restoring power. It is the anthem of life in all its manifestations. I create under the influence of my inner divine essence. I have an irresistible desire to pick up brushes and paint and in the process I often have no idea what will eventually turn out. The very process of creation fascinates me. The thoughts and energy that the artist invests in creating paintings remain in the paintings. We live in a new time, full of new opportunities. Our planet Earth is a living being and we need to take care of it, the same way it cares for us.

In the beginning, I showed some of my paintings to my friends. My soul didn’t let me rest; it was necessary to do something to spread my work. The inner voice told me that I needed to publish my work. For a long time, I considered myself a simple cog in the wheel of the system. This “cog” suddenly wanted to become an artist and a creator. The flow of inspiration did not weaken but grew stronger and stronger. In a short time, I had more than 20 paintings. The holiday of Naw Ruz or the New Year (for the Muslims and Baha’is) was approaching. I got a lot of courage and offered to decorate the room for the celebration with my art. It was a huge step to overcome my uncertainty. Naturally, people paid little attention to my paintings; everyone was busy with the feast and each other. However, I received a couple of comments that inspired me. The comments I got emphasized the how different my work was; brightness of colors and feeling of joy and light transmitting from my paintings. After the celebration, when I removed my paintings, the room turned into a standard one. My paintings gave the feast a feeling of spring and a garden. The next step of my development was, with the help of my daughter, I began to put my paintings on Facebook. So I stepped out of my comfort zone and overcame my limitations. All my victories are victories over my fear and old outdated inner defence mechanisms. Action always wins out over inaction.

The universe is in constant motion and the cessation of motion symbolizes the transition to a state of decay.


Trio, 2018

“Trio. My inner artist has been sleeping for a long time. Now that she’s awake, it’s hard to keep her away from creati"vity. When I was a child, my favorite thing was to draw. “The adult life"made me forget creativity and my dreams. I’m happy to have my awakening from the routine. Be bold and create, remember your dreams from the childhood and make them a reality. Anything is possible. I started drawing again after 50 years.”

To reach an awareness of the elementary truth of life took me a long time. I publish quotes from my site without changes. At first my analytical mind told me to make changes for a more harmonious input in the book. My heart did not accept this. After all, at the time of their publication, the text was also part of it. This has its own meaning. That is, in my book, all the energy present at the time of publication of my paintings are kept intact. There is a saying, when the student is ready the teacher is already waiting. It’s probably time for my readers to hear my thoughts about life. Removing the shackles of “this is not right” and limitations allows me to help thousands and thousands of people to change their lives for the better. Any of our feelings or emotions remain on our energy level. In the spiritual world, a law of attraction rules. In the physical world, the magnet attracts the multi-pole parts to each other. Only on the basis of this small example can we see how the laws of the physical world differ from the laws of the spiritual world or the Universe. This means that in a person’s life changes begin when he is energetically ready for this.

The secret of happiness. Fairy tale advent of a successful woman, mother and a grandmother

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