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There is another important element of the admissions process that we don’t want to overlook—personal reference letters. This time you don’t have to sell yourself with your words; other people will do the job for you.

Whom should you ask to write a letter of reference? Common sense says to make it someone who likes you, right? Just don’t make it your grandmother, best friend or boyfriend. Sure, they like you—even love you—but you need a letter that will show how a person has evaluated you as a potential student, not something about how you are the best granddaughter, friend or girlfriend in the world. Here are some potential people to ask:

 co-workers, employers or supervisors

 teachers

 coaches

 other school faculty

 your pastor

 karate instructor or sponsor of other activities outside of school

 if you have done volunteer work, ask the organization’s leader

It may be tricky to ask someone at school for a letter of recommendation if you haven’t done well in his/her class but don’t rule it out. Explain to your teacher or counselor what you are trying to accomplish and you may find you have more of an ally than you had originally thought. If you have a reason for not performing to your full potential, let your teacher know. Explaining your circumstances can help your teacher write a more supportive letter that gives a fuller picture of who you are.

How do you go about asking for a letter of reference? Ask in person rather than by email or telephone. This way you can show how much it would mean to you to have this individual’s personal recommendation.

Be sure to give the person plenty of time to write a quality letter. Don’t walk up to your boss at the end of the shift and say, “Before I go home tonight, could you write a reference letter for me?” Ask weeks ahead if possible. If there are word limits or other restrictions on the letter’s format, be sure to tell the person before he or she begins writing.

Some people may not know how to write a personal reference letter, so be ready to tell them what it should include. Provide a resume or summary of some of your achievements to help the different individuals that you ask to write letters, and include a stamped, addressed envelope to the school. The typical letter should be about one to two pages in length and should include these elements:

 The identity of the writer

 The writer’s relationship to you (teacher/student; employer/ employee, etc.)

 Why the writer has chosen to recommend you as a potential candidate for college

 Examples and illustrations of the strong points that he or she has observed in you

 An overall evaluation of you as a student, community volunteer, all-around person

 A conclusion

Afterwards, always, always, always show your appreciation and gratitude for each person’s help. A thank you note is really good manners, but a direct and sincere thank you face to face is great too.