Читать книгу War of Wings - Tanner McElroy - Страница 12

Lucifer needed to get to the cosmos to breathe. He was so angry he could feel it burning in his throat. He could feel its power, like nothing he had experienced before. He was careful to hide it from the seraphim and thrones when he passed them on his way down the steps, but he felt like everyone was looking at him. The golden stairs below him now looked stained. The shimmer of light exuding from each seraph made his stomach turn. He wanted to shove their heads under water until their light faded.

The three upper platforms seemed unending. Trying to ignore the bright colors around him, he hurried past each level and away from the light. The throne angels wore crowns. What a joke. He should shatter them. He longed to rip the velvet from their robes and strangle them with it.

On the outside, he stayed as smooth as ever. His emotions were like boiling water about to overflow, but he shoved them deeper. God’s answer made no rational sense. Lucifer watched with his own eyes an explosion in the cosmos that caused the formation of newfound planets. God couldn’t be whom He claimed to be; He was too busy with his ridiculous new Son to possibly know what had happened. Lucifer would not believe any longer. He refused to. He would become his own god.

Lucifer took a deep breath, filling his lungs to the full expansion of his broad chest. The other angels already praised him like a god. What was the difference? His angels had a right to know more than God told them. He would give them answers. Lucifer stopped walking down the steps, mentally daring God to put him in his place if He was all knowing. If He was the almighty Alpha and Omega, why did He let Lucifer leave? He walked to the final step of the golden staircase and turned around to look up at the light he was leaving behind.

God had no idea what he saw in the cosmos. Lucifer pictured the explosion in his mind’s eye. He had seen the creation of a new world while God only cared about a Son. God wanted everyone to serve Him blindly like fools. Did God think he was a fool? Lucifer’s thoughts came furiously. He paused for an answer he knew would not come. All alone on the final step, he finally exploded, “Why don’t you stop me from leaving?”

He waited. Then he waited some more. He felt like the only angel in Heaven. His eyes became wet with tears. He raised his hands and lifted his eyebrows in defeat. Nothing. A shiver slowly crept over his body from the top of his head to the tip of both end feathers and back down his spine where it stopped.

Lucifer needed to get away from the blinding light that plagued every angel. He walked quickly through the heavenly city, but it felt like days. He needed the angels to understand his newfound truth in order to situate himself above God in the minds of the angels. I will expose Him for what He really is, Lucifer thought. He is a selfish liar, isn’t He? How could He not be with the answers He gives? He needs us more than we need Him. He needs us to praise Him.

He knew it would be quite a challenge to turn the masses away from someone they loved more than life itself. But he felt compelled to do so, and he knew a few of the angels wouldn’t be as difficult as others to win over once they heard his unanswerable questions. Lucifer knew many that couldn’t think for themselves even if God demanded it of them. They were so pure and innocent, yet they had never been truly challenged. Lucifer had an idea. Many ideas, actually. They were revolutionary.

As Lucifer approached the pearl gates, Saraquel landed heavy and hard, panting like he had just finished the Four Corner Corridor race in the games. His disheveled hair dripped before he flung it back over his shoulder and wiped his chest plate.

“Lucifer! Excuse me, sir! May I ask where you have been? I’ve been looking everywhere for you, but you were nowhere to be found.” Saraquel apparently searched for a better reason as he hesitated. “We wanted to ask your opinion on your new throne.”

Lucifer kept walking, through the gates and past the silent dominion. Frustrated by the interruption and perturbed by the reminder of the horrible throne, Lucifer said, “I don’t care about that.” Instead of leaping off the cliff, he paused at the edge of the Great Mountain and stopped Saraquel with a stiff arm. “Why didn’t you tell me God was announcing a Son?”

“I didn’t know. I thought the promotion was for you.”

Lucifer felt a cold flash, and the air had a stench to it.

“Well, it wasn’t.” He dropped his hand from Saraquel’s armor. “It’s fine.”

Lucifer dove off the side and flew toward the Marble Falls. Saraquel stayed close behind, shouting as they flew. “I wanted to say I’m sorry! I also realized that you were displeased with the throne. We destroyed that one and started anew. It will be an even greater one now, Lucifer. You will soon sit next to God, I’m sure.”

“No, I won’t. And I am tired of waiting.” Lucifer flew with all his might over the Field of Tranquility. It turned from canary yellow to oxblood red. He’d never seen red in the field before. Below him, he heard angels talking about it as they pointed up at him. When he reached the falls, he dropped down, his feet crushing into the ground.

Saraquel landed heavily beside him. “With every ending there is a new beginning. I’m sure this will all pass soon.”

From Saraquel’s annoying comment, Lucifer suddenly realized the question that would surely change Heaven forever. It hit him like a punch in the stomach. How could there be an end with no beginning, and how could there be a beginning with no end?

God couldn’t be the Alpha and the Omega because that was fundamentally impossible. Someone or something must have created God. But who? When? God wasn’t here before Lucifer, and even if He was, maybe He destroyed His creator. Something or someone must have created Him. He was not above Lucifer.

He turned to Saraquel, who had finally gone silent and waited for a response. Before Lucifer could speak, a familiar scent hit his nose. The air smelled fresh again. Intoxicating. Turning, he saw Thyaterra gliding toward him from across the falls. She wore a flowing white dress with hints of blue as light reflected from the angles her form made beneath it. The backdrop of greens from the Forest of Harmony made the image a masterpiece. She was a breath of life in the suffocating Heaven. As quickly as he was conscious of the beauty headed his way, he also realized how unlikely it was that she would be down there. What was she doing here?

“Saraquel, I need to speak with Thyaterra. You can find me later.”

“I understand.”

Saraquel walked away as Thyaterra approached.

“Thyaterra?”

“Hello, Lucifer. I wanted to see you.” As she floated over to him, he noticed the concern in her eyes.

“I’ve been meaning to see you again also.”

“What is happening?”

“Follow me.”

Lucifer dove over the cliff, his wings propelling him faster as he shot down the Marble Falls. Thyaterra followed him to the lower fall. He glided down to a swath of thick green grass where fresh flowers grew near the spray of the falls. He picked a purple one for her, her favorite color.

“Do you know I love you, Thyaterra?”

“Yes. And I love you.”

“You know my passion for God and all of His praises has been my eternal ambition, and I have never faltered.”

“Yes.”

“Things have changed, Terra.” He yearned for her approval but could not keep the bitterness from his voice. “My passion for Him has faded.”

“Lucifer, you are the highest of the cherubim. God loves you more than any angel and has blessed you with more than you even know.”

“I have followed Him my whole existence and led worship time after time. Of course, He pretends to love me. What do we get from Him? He loves Himself more than anything and would have us all worship Him, blind to reason for eternity.”

Thyaterra’s mouth closed, and she took a step backward with wide eyes. Lucifer took a deep breath and stepped toward her.

“I have a new passion now. My passion is the truth,” he said.

“God has never lied to any of us. We both love Him. What is this about, Lucifer?”

She seemed to stare right through him. He snagged the flower from her hand and started shredding it. He could barely control his hands to pull the tiny petals apart, so he threw it in frustration to the ground. Thyaterra quickly stepped back again but this time much farther.

“A Son! After all I have done.” He slouched in weakness as he momentarily sought comfort in her eyes.

“I know you are hurt, but He loves you no less.”

“I am not hurt. He will never hurt me.” He pulled his shoulders together. “What do we worship Him for, Terra?”

“Lucifer, He would have us worship Him because He is worthy to be praised. He is the truth. I know you have been to the cosmos and there are things none of us can understand happening all around us, but do not lose your love for our God.”

“How do you know about the cosmos?”

She didn’t answer him.

“Tell me! How do you know about the cosmos, Terra?”

“Please calm down.”

“Did God tell you I went there already?”

“Yes, but Bretabian also saw you come from the water.”

“Bretabian? Why was he following me?”

“I don’t know; I am just telling you what he told me.”

Lucifer snarled. “Neither he nor God knows anything of what I have seen! I have more knowledge of the cosmos than God and the rest of the seraphim combined.”

“You are brilliant, Lucifer. Do not let your gift lead you astray. Stay humble before God. Sometimes faith is all we need when reason sends us down a different path.”

Lucifer stomped on a pink flower. A tiny bit of powder flew up from it and struck Lucifer in the face. It smelled terrible. “Where did God come from? How do you know He doesn’t have all of us fooled?”

She looked down at the mangled flower and back up at Lucifer. It started regrowing. “God has always been and always will be.”

As the flower grew perfectly back into its original form, Lucifer stepped on it again and this time left his foot there. He looked at Thyaterra as he twisted his foot into the ground. “I could tell you I am the same. I was here before you. Would you believe that I am a god also? Tell me why God has no answers for any of my questions as of late. I’ll tell you why—He doesn’t know.”

“God knows everything. We both know that.”

“No, only one of us thinks that now. I’ll show you I am right. I want you to join me in finding the answers God hides from us.” He lifted his foot and waited as the mangled flower once again grew to perfection.

“Lucifer, I can’t join you in whatever you are doing.”

Lucifer hesitated, watching the flower. When it was done reforming, he picked it and handed it to her. “Please.”

She took the flower and a new one sprouted up in its place. “I love God. Don’t ask that of me. He is not lying about anything.”

“I need you.”

She winced.

“Whose side are you on?”

“Stop this, Lucifer. You know I will not betray our Father.”

“He is not my Father anymore.”

“Please don’t say that.”

Lucifer clenched his fists and felt his fingernails digging deep into his palms. “I am leaving. Do not follow me.”

Two tears fell from her green eyes, but she didn’t.

He crashed down from the platform to the deep blue of the water below. The once-beautiful world under water meant nothing this time. Fish darted out of his way to avoid being pummeled as he sank through like a boulder. The deeper he went the darker it became, but the glow he gave off from the remnants of God’s glory allowed him to barely see until the last moment of blackness. This was where he remembered cutting through a black hole to the cosmos.

He came out on the other side and shook the water from his wings. He took in the beauty of the cosmos again, of the other worlds suspended there in the deep black. The nearest planet was lovely, covered in blue and green, and he felt immediate ownership of it. A new home. Thyaterra no longer mattered. More importantly, God no longer mattered. He had to keep telling himself that.

He flew toward it through the emptiness of the cosmos, and at length he passed through a layer of cloud and landed on the surface. He didn’t know what to do, so he roamed the stretches of unkempt fields of grass. There were forests too, but the trees weren’t uniform in height or layout and there was no structure to anything. Everything grew wild, and there were apparently no rules. It was perfectly imperfect. He roamed mountaintops, vast distances of nothing but windswept oceans, and deserts void of life. He liked the sandy deserts with their towering dunes, but the heat reminded him of the warmth of God’s throne. He flew away and came down upon a jungle with plush green trees and long waterfalls.

He thought of Thyaterra. God had warped her mind. He controlled her just like He used to control Lucifer. Just like He would control His new Son. He felt rage welling up in him again, only this time he did not try to hold it in.

Lucifer grabbed the nearest tree by its base and ripped it from the earth, roots and all. Bark fell all around from where his grip crushed into the base of the tree. Dirt dropped as the dangling roots snapped off where they fed into the ground. He tore up many, flipping them over, running forward a few steps, and hurling each of them over a mile into a large body of water. They descended deep, branches first. It felt good. He ripped off branches because he liked the snap they made as they broke. He hurled these as far as he could.

He tore up more trees, his anger unabated, and he began to realize that he could feel the life drain from the trees as the roots separated from the ground. It was incredible. By severing the base of the tree from its life source, it actually died and did not grow back. The realization struck him with equal parts wonder and horror.

He could control life in his new world.