Читать книгу Expecting His Child - Tessa Radley - Страница 15
ОглавлениеAJ waited in the pickup bay, hesitant anticipation congealing in her stomach. The longer she stood there, the tighter her nerves got. Did this mean he’d changed his mind about her proposal? Surely it did. He wouldn’t make her miss her flight just to tell her what a dumb idea it was, right?
Still, it didn’t stop her from nervously humming The Wizard of Oz theme song under her breath. “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”—a familiar soothing song she used to sing to Emily when they were kids, drowning out their parents on a drunken bender, partying loudly at two in the morning. While strangers passed out in the bathroom or stormed up and down the hall, Emily had crawled into AJ’s bed and they’d held each other in the scary dark. And AJ had waveringly sung that song about hopes and dreams and following them to find a better place.
Don’t think about them. Think about yourself, about what’s happening right here, right now.
By the time she spotted the sleek ash-gray Jaguar purring up to the parking bay, she’d worked herself into a state. Yet she still noticed a dozen pairs of eyes swivel to take in the sporty car, their gaze running over the smooth lines with a mix of envy, joy and blatant lust.
Then Matt eased from the driver’s seat and she could swear she heard the appreciative murmurs, even over the general chaos of Sydney airport.
He was dressed for serious business—dark gray suit, white shirt, green tie, mirrored sunglasses. He wore the clothes on his lean frame with such casual elegance, a commanding uniform that befitted the CEO of a national corporation. Then he pushed up his glasses and rounded the car in a few strides, leaning down to grab her carry-on. But when his hand went to her shoulder, she instinctively stepped back.
He frowned. “Can I take your bag?”
Embarrassment made her flush. “Oh, yeah. Sure.”
He gently eased the strap down, his knuckles grazing her arm, and she barely had time to get flustered before he was hoisting it over his shoulder, then turning to open the passenger door.
She took the opportunity to note the way his jacket tightened across his back when he leaned in to deposit her bags in the tiny backseat. The touchable skin where collar met neck. And the firm way those long-fingered hands grasped the door as he motioned for her to get in.
AJ took a breath and did just that.
It wasn’t often she got to revel in the luxury of a sleek European car. Zac guarded his Porsche like the thing was made of eighteen-carat gold, and her bomby Getz was hardly in the same league. But this...this was heaven: soft suede seats cupping her bottom, the distinct smell of money, new car and leather permeating the air. She sat low, way too low, and the sensation was an odd mix of indulgence and discomfort.
“Since when do you have a Jag?” she asked as he buckled up.
“I got it last year.” She barely heard the engine kick in before he glanced over his shoulder, turned the steering wheel and merged into traffic while the radio played softly through the speakers. “The Sultan of El-Jahir was very generous.”
She blinked. “El-Jahir? Where’s that?”
“Tiny independent island off the coast of Africa. The palace guards staged a coup and GEM treated the Sultan’s third wife after a hostage drama.”
“And he gave you a Jag.”
“He originally offered one of his daughters.”
AJ snorted out a laugh. “And you turned him down?”
“I’m not the arranged-marriage type.”
Their moment of levity lapsed into elongated silence as they made their way out onto Qantas Drive.
“So you said you wanted to talk,” she finally said.
His eyes remained on the road. “Out of all the men you know, why me?”
Her mouth thinned. “All the men I know? How many do you think I know, Matt?”
His startled gaze met hers. “I didn’t mean it that way. I...” He returned his attention to the road and frowned. “You were a free spirit—impulsive, crazy. Up for anything. And,” he added when she opened her mouth, “I was the one with the rules and the life plan. I’d always figured you’d end up with a guy more on your wavelength.” He flicked her a brief glance. “You didn’t meet someone else after me?”
“I met a few someone elses. You didn’t ruin me for every other man, if that’s what you’re implying.”
“Good to know.”
“You don’t sound glad.”
“I am.” The car purred along the road, dashing past the huge Etihad Airlines billboard and DHL’s avant garde cube sculpture. “Me, I got married.”
“Yeah, so you said. Let me guess...” She paused, taking the moment to study his profile, unashamedly lingering on the aquiline nose and full lips. “A church wedding with lots of influential colleagues on the guest list. The reception was probably at some swanky Sydney restaurant—Rockpool. Maybe Luke Mangan’s place at the Hilton. The bride’s dress would’ve been sleek and classic, something subdued but gorgeously elegant. A society queen—no,” AJ amended, “another doctor, someone beautiful and ambitious and parent-approved.”
Matt said nothing, the Jaguar purring softly in the silence as they drove.
“Am I right?” AJ probed.
He shrugged. “Pretty much.”
Despite everything, the confirmation still stung. Huh. She’d never been parent-approved.
She thought back to a night she’d rather forget, a moment when she’d gone against every survival instinct, every ingrained memory from her fractured past and put herself out there, only to have her hopes destroyed seconds later.
She crossed her arms, pushing back into the leather seat. She had to focus on the here and now, not dwell on the past. It was how she survived, how she’d always survived.
“So why do you want a baby?” Matt asked.
A million reasons that she didn’t have the time or inclination to discuss because that would mean talking about her past and her emotions. And those two things were off-limits. Instead, she settled on the most urgent one. “Because there’s a possibility I can’t. Three months ago I had surgery for ovarian cysts and they found extensive scarring. Apparently, I have a less than a thirty percent chance of conceiving.”
His brief glance spoke volumes yet revealed nothing. “Why me?”
She turned, giving him her full attention. “Why not you? We know each other, and we’re sexually compatible. I won’t make any emotional or financial demands. You not only get no-strings-attached sex, but you also won’t have the hassle of a baby. Life will go on as normal.” She shrugged. “We both win.”
What the hell could Matt say to that?
She wanted him to make a baby. Only she didn’t want him around afterward. The situation was laughable except he’d never felt like laughing less in his entire life.
He made a quick left turn and they pulled into a side street. After he cranked on the handbrake and cut the engine, he turned to face her.
“Well?” she said, arching her eyebrows. She looked confident, her hands clasped in her lap, her head tilted just so, a firm, almost fierce look in her eyes. He remembered that look. He’d missed it.
He’d missed her.
His gut bottomed out. After all these years, after every turn his life had taken, how could that be? But the truth sat right there in his passenger seat, her flame-red hair pulled back in an efficient ponytail, her lean body inadvertently emphasized by jeans and a fitted T.
She’d made it clear what she wanted, and it didn’t include him.
He’d worked hard to get where he was. Whenever he decided to pursue a goal, he committed everything to it. He hated the failure that his divorce had wrought, hated that Katrina had not only ridiculed his suggestion that they start a family but also had refused point-blank to even consider it. And now here was AJ, a ghost from his past, offering up his deepest desire. After Katrina’s refusal he’d managed to bury those feelings deep, focusing instead on forging a new career from the tattered remnants.
The irony was that AJ had no idea. She still thought he was some career-driven workaholic robot, motivated by success and money. Yet he was no longer the man she knew from back then, that young, overscheduled, goal-oriented man for whom career and the great Cooper name came first and foremost.
Decker was right. Everything he’d pursued he’d gotten—his position as chief surgeon at Saint Cat’s, GEM, various bed partners following Katrina. As a doctor, he’d been acutely aware of human frailty, the crazy ways a person’s life could hinge on the actions of others. Yet he was also a big believer in fate. He’d never been able to replicate the magic he’d had with AJ, not even with Katrina. But now, incredibly, he was being handed a second chance.
Fate.
Was he crazy? Maybe. But right now, he had the eerie feeling that if he said no to AJ, if he didn’t put in the effort to make another go of it, he’d lose her and she’d have their happy ending with someone else.
You’re actually going to make a woman fall in love with you? He could imagine Paige’s incredulity just before she burst out laughing.
This was no laughing matter. He had no intention of walking away—didn’t want to walk away. AJ had chosen him, had come to him.
Fate.
He eyeballed her as she waited patiently for his answer.
“So there’s been no one else?”
AJ slowly slid her sunglasses off, placed them high on her head, then met his direct look with one of her own. “One guy loved going out with his mates more than me. One preferred his collection of Lord of the Rings action figures. Another had three girls on the go. And one...” She paused. Those battle scars still stung—no doubt would still sting—for years to come. But their presence also proved she was doing the right thing.
“What happened?”
“He came close.” She shrugged. No naïveté for her again. “But then I found out he was married and cheating on his wife.” At his gently murmured curse she shrugged. “See? Asshats.”
“You’re still young, AJ. Only thirty-two. There’s still plenty of time to—”
“God help me, if you say, ‘you’ll find someone,’ I am so going to smack you.”
He clamped his mouth shut and stared out the windshield, the faint strains of traffic barely discernible in the background. “So you’ve decided to approach motherhood alone,” he said.
“Yes.”
He paused, eyebrow raised, waiting for her to elaborate.
She sighed and gripped the seat belt still strapped across her chest. “Given my single status and my low chances of getting pregnant, I’d booked an appointment with a fertility clinic, but that fell through and I have to wait six months for another.”
“Which is where I come in.”
“Yes. Matt, look. Maybe it was just a coincidence seeing you at Emily’s wedding. I’m not a believer in fate—”
“I am.”
She paused, digesting that interesting little snippet, then continued. “So if you want me to sign a contract, I will. I will not interfere with your life or your career. No one will have to know.”
“Keep us a secret?” His brow went up. “You didn’t like that idea last time.”
“You remember that?”
“You don’t?”
Every single moment I think of you. She swallowed the faint feeling of inadequacy, still there after all these years. “It was a long time ago. I’m older now. And I’m prepared to meet your terms.”
He remained silent for a moment, then said softly, “You don’t know what my terms are.”
She suppressed a shiver as his gaze passed over her face, taking in her features before focusing squarely on her eyes. Wait, did that mean—?
Her heart skipped a beat. “What are they?” she asked softly.
“Well, first—you have to be able to financially support a child.”
“I can.” Her calm response belied the growing butterflies in her stomach.
“Because I get the impression your income could be...” He paused, searching for a word. “Fickle.”
The implication stung. “Sometimes. But my bank account is decent. Do you want to check my balance?”
“No, that won’t be necessary.” His gaze skimmed her again. “And having Zac Prescott as financial backup wouldn’t hurt, I’m guessing.”
Oh, now she was more than stung. She was irritated. “Yeah, sponging off my brother-in-law is not—and never has been—an option, Matt. What’s your next condition?”
“Do you have an apartment? A place of your own?”
“I’m looking.”
He nodded.
“Saint Cat’s fertility specialist is the best in the state. I can get an appointment for a week Thursday.”
“That’s quick.”
His smile was brief. “The perks of being the former head of neurosurgery.”
With a nod she asked, “Is that all?” then immediately hated the way her voice came out all stuttery and unsure.
“No.” This time his eyes lingered on her cheek, then her lips. “We’re going to do this the old-fashioned way. No clinics, no cups. It’ll be just you, me and a bed. Or—” his mouth curved “—maybe not a bed. Depends where we are.”
AJ’s breath stilled. This was...unbelievable. Amazing.
“So you’re saying yes,” she said out loud. “We’re really going to do this.”
Matt nodded. “We are.”
He’d said yes. He’d actually said yes. Reality struck so hard and with such force that her throat closed up and she had to work to regain control of her overwhelming emotions.
One step. This was just one step.
Yet the yearning, the desperate desire, flickered to life, flaring into hope.
A baby. Her baby. A chubby, squirmy, drooly child who would know every day he was loved and wanted. A child who would never go hungry or thirsty. A child who would always come first. A child she’d hold and cuddle and never abandon to the foster system.
She quickly suppressed those bitter memories, locking them away so they wouldn’t taint the moment. “Thank you, Matt,” she choked out, her hand going to his arm. “Honestly, I cannot thank you enough. This means...” She blinked like crazy and took a breath as the skeins of control began to unwind. Don’t cry. Don’t you dare cry!
“Do you want me to draw up a formal agreement?”
She stilled as reality jolted her back to awareness. “Can you do that?” At his nod she said, “Oh, okay, then. Sure.”
Of course, having something down in writing made total sense. She withdrew her hand and glanced at her watch. “So I guess...well, I’m free right now. When do you want to...uh...”
His cough of surprise made her glance up. “AJ.”
“Yes?”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s see what Dr. Adams says on Thursday.”
She could feel the warmth heat her cheeks.
“And anyway,” he added casually, “we’re going out first.”
“Going out? What, on a date?”
“Yes. Tonight. You, me, dinner. Dessert.”
AJ hesitated. “Although I appreciate the effort, you really don’t have to do that, you know.” She smiled, tempering her refusal. “At this stage, it’s safe to say I’m a sure thing.”
“But I want to. Big difference.”
She met his eyes, holding firm under his loaded gaze. So he was determined to wine and dine her before bedding her? AJ shrugged. “Fine,” she said in her best blasé voice. “Dinner.”
“Where are you staying?” Matt asked after a brief pause.
“I don’t know. I’ll have to make a call first.” She’d handed Zac’s apartment keys over to the building super. She’d have to call him, see if she could stay longer until she could work out something that didn’t involve taking advantage of her brother-in-law’s charity.
“You can always stay with me.”
“No!” she blurted out, then added more calmly, “No, that’s not necessary. I can find a cheap hotel someplace.”
“In Sydney?” He raised a skeptical eyebrow. “I have a perfectly good apartment in Paddington you can use.”
She frowned. Surrounded by Matt’s things from his normal life? Bad idea.
“Or...” he added slowly. “There’s always my house at Pretty Beach.”
Oh, no. She shook her head. She needed her own space to keep up some emotional distance. His apartment would be bad enough, but being smack in the middle of the place where they’d made love and he’d scarred her vulnerable heart ten years ago?
Not going to happen.
“The apartment sounds fine. It’d only be for one night,” she added. “I’ve been staying at Zac’s place in Potts Point.”
He nodded. “You’ll need it for a few months, minimum.”
“A few months?”
“How long did you expect this to take, AJ?”
“Well, apparently the Reynolds women are breeders,” she muttered, recalling her mother’s irritating, oft-declared statement, which was always followed by a cackle and a wheeze.
With a bemused expression, he said, “We’re working with reality here, not a cute homily. Thirty percent is low but not impossible.” They stopped at the traffic light and he studied her intently, gauging her reaction. “We’ll need to take every single opportunity to ensure you get pregnant.”
That meant every possible moment having sex with Matt.
Was it bad that she was incredibly turned on right now? That she wanted nothing more than to lean across the seat, grab his tie and plant a kiss on those sensuous lips?
And just like all the times before, he read her intent as clearly as if she’d scrawled it across her face. His eyes darkened, a slow smile teasing the corner of his mouth. Then he deliberately dropped his gaze to her mouth, resting there for agonizing seconds before dragging it up to meet her eyes once more.
The interior of the car heated up by ten degrees.
The light changed and he abruptly turned back to the road. “I’ll drop you off at my place now.”
Hurry. “Okay.”
Twenty minutes later, when he parked in front of his apartment, gathered her bags and led the way into the lobby, her anticipation took a nosedive.
He placed the bags on the slate floor, pressed the elevator button and held out a key. “I’m on the fifteenth floor. I’ll see you at seven-thirty.”
Confused, she took the key, barely registering the brief contact their hands made. “But aren’t you...?”
“I have to get back to work.”
“Oh. Of course.” She bit back her disappointment and readjusted the strap on her shoulder. This is who he is, remember? The guy consumed with work. A perfect arrangement for you.
“AJ?”
“Yes?” She glanced up, and with a swift movement, Matt looped one finger in the top of her jeans and tugged her forward.
The kiss was brief, a mere millisecond of lips on lips. AJ registered the warmth, the seductive smell of his skin and the slight hitch in his breath. A haunting reminder of what they’d once had. And a promise of more to come.
Then it was over and Matt released her, stepping back with a grin as the elevator doors pinged open. “I’ll see you tonight. Wear a dress and heels.”
She could only nod numbly as she watched him stride through the lobby, all male efficiency and confidence. In stark contrast, emotion churned wildly in her gut, an annoying response to his kiss.
Get a grip, AJ. Put on your big girl panties and deal with this. With a nod, she yanked her suitcase handle and strode into the elevator, Matt’s apartment key firm in her clenched hand.
She would not expect anything more than what it was—a physical union to produce a baby. She’d enjoyed men before without the emotional commitment—she could do the same with Matthew Cooper.
