Читать книгу Blaikie’s Guide to Modern Manners - Thomas Blaikie - Страница 28

In Green Wing, Channel 4’s crazy ‘hospital’ comedy, a gloomy figure trudged round the administrator’s office. ‘Do you want to sign Karen’s leaving card?’ Everybody complied and, as the bearer of the card was sloping away, a voice was heard to enquire, ‘Who’s Karen?’

Outside the workplace, correspondence is neglected (that terrible backlog of thank-yous etc., on the necessity of which see Thank-you letters and cards for meals and parties – a major rethink, page 214), but in the office little enthusiastic messages are written on cards for unknown people every day. There is an obsessive mania for cards and presents for every conceivable anniversary and would-be special occasion. Vast amounts of time are devoted to buying them, getting the cards signed (a huge administrative undertaking), raising money for presents (another massive job), as well as buying and wrapping them. One woman I spoke to was amazed to receive a card signed by the entire office because she was going to the christening of her second cousin’s child, the second cousin being someone she hardly knew.

‘People come round with these cards at least once a week. Someone’s mum hasn’t been too well, someone’s getting married, having a baby, moving house, getting engaged,’ says Matt. ‘I always sign them, even if I don’t really know who they are. But I wonder how people have got the time for all this.’ Zoe, careful with her meagre salary, resents the expense. ‘Somebody comes up to you and says, “We’re all putting a tenner in for Aimee’s present. Is that OK?” You can’t say no, can you?’ Others, less popular (said to have smelly feet, not to share their chocolates), are lucky to get a tenner spent on their entire present.

Another phenomenon is excessive sending of thank-you cards (although there might be a general lack of thanks in the same workplace – see Thanking, page 38). ‘Our MD’s PA was too busy to get the flowers for the reception desk once,’ says Zoe, ‘and I volunteered since I was going past the shop in my lunch hour. I got a card for that.’

 It makes sense to sign a card for someone you don’t know when that person is leaving – maybe, unknown to you, they cleaned a sticky patch off the photocopier which would otherwise have ruined your immaculate document. You are thanking them for their contribution, whatever it might have been.

 Otherwise, departments or smaller teams might give cards on significant occasions (not just when they feel like it). If this custom is established, everybody must be included (no nasty favouritism) and trouble must be taken to find out when and to whom they might be sent.

 Although ‘rules’ about the giving of presents might seem clinical and mean-spirited, the alternative is that popular people are showered with all kinds of largesse while others get very little, and younger employees resent having to fork out while expectations from receivers of gifts rocket through the ceiling. One person told me she was outraged only to get an M & S breadboard after working in a place for six months.

 A leaving present should be a token of appreciation, not a measure of worth.

 If ‘thank-you cards’ are over-used, they lose their meaning. In the workplace, they should be reserved for some quite exceptional favour or kindness.

 A card signed by everyone is not right for a bereavement. Don’t ask why; it just isn’t.