Читать книгу Our Life Well-Lived - Thomas Ph.D Crochetiere - Страница 6

From the beginning, I noticed Miss Vicki was a very confident young woman but she also had a bit of a stubborn streak to her. There were times she really showed her anger, to the point I feared she just might explode but Vicki was never violent and never lifted a hand in anger towards me or others. She told me early on if I ever hit her, it would be my last time and she would not put up with it. Knowing the history she had with her ex, I knew exactly what she was talking about and respected her for it.

Vicki made the mistake of telling me once that her nickname while growing up was “Vicki ticky time bomb”. I told her I could understand how she got this nickname and she told me she was only sharing this with me in case a member of her family tells me about it. Vicki wanted me to know she did not approved of this nickname and made it quite clear I was not to use this nickname in her presence.

After Vicki and I announced our engagement, her family and Molly, a close family friend, asked me if I knew what I was getting myself into. I was told Vicki could be very stubborn and difficult to deal with at times and they only thought it fair I knew about her occasional temper. I told them I had already learned this of Vicki and I was not afraid. Do not get me wrong, no one was trying to disrespect Vicki in any way; they just wanted to make sure I knew the whole Vicki so we would be successful from the start.

When I told Vicki about this, she just laughed. She told me she was different around me and I had no reason to be concerned. I must admit, Vicki could be a very stubborn person but I truly loved her for that. This is just one small part of what made Vicki who she was.

I knew we all had our not so favorable sides, including Vicki and me. What I did know about Miss Vicki was that she was a loving and caring person who was teaching me so much. I was not raised to be a very affectionate person and Vicki began to change that in me. You see, I had my shortcomings and Vicki was teaching me to see past them and learn to grow. In turn, she too learned to grow right alongside of me. I was not used to holding hands or kissing in public, I was not used to saying “I love you” on a regular basis, especially in public.

Miss Vicki made me feel comfortable with this type of affection and I quickly learned to love her more for this.

A couple of months before we got married, Vicki’s maternal grandfather, Malcolm Barrett passed away. This saddened Vicki greatly as this death was just one of the several we would learn to deal with together in the years to come. Vicki had always felt close to both sets of her grandparents while growing up.

Vicki and I were both raised Catholic and wished to marry in the Catholic Church. Neither Vicki nor I belonged to a church and soon discovered how difficult it was going to be to get married in the Church. We went to the churches her family frequented and we went to the church my family used to attend, both with no luck. We were told since Vicki had been married before by a Baptist Minister and had a child they would not marry us.

While at work one day discussing this dilemma, Lou, a co-worker of mine told me of a Catholic Priest he knew that he believed might be able to help us. He introduced me to Father Michael Lenihan at Saint Lawrence Martyr Catholic Church and explained our situation. Father Lenihan asked that I bring Vicki in for a meeting with him so we could discuss our situation together.

As Vicki and I told him our story, he laughed and said that getting her previous marriage annulled, which was performed by a Baptist Minister would be easy. Father Lenihan said once her previous marriage was annulled, we could get married in the church.

Father Lenihan asked us when we wanted to get married and we told him June 1^st. He laughed and asked us, “June 1^st of this year” and we said yes. He gave us a little smile and told us that time was short but he could get it done. All went according to plan, Vicki’s previous marriage was annulled, we received our marriage classes through the church and June 1^st was quickly approaching.

About one week before our marriage, I received a phone call from Father Lenihan. He told me he was called away for an urgent family matter in Ireland and he would have Father Michael Easterling step in for him. He assured me we had nothing to worry about and that we would like Father Easterling.

June 1^st, 1985 was a beautiful spring day. I was wearing a white tuxedo and my groomsmen were dressed in grey tuxedos. Vicki was wearing a beautiful white wedding dress and her bridesmaids were almost as beautiful. Jason was our ring bearer and was dressed in a little white tuxedo to match me. At the young age of 2 ½, Jason was already catching little girls eyes.

Katie, our flower girl was dressed in a pretty dress to match the bridesmaids. Ben was my best man and Vicki’s longtime childhood friend, Bobbie was her maid of honor. My groomsmen were my brother Tod and Jim, a friend. Vicki’s bridesmaids were her sister Lori and my sister Tina.

As Vicki and I were exchanging our vows, Jason got a little bored and started to pull off the petals from some flowers, one by one. He was very quiet about it and if you did not look at him, you would have had no idea he was doing this. It was later said to Vicki and I that he was just reciting, “She loves me, she loves me not”.

Father Easterling, Jim, Tod, Ben, Tom, Vicki,

Bobbie, Lori, Tina, Jason and Katie

Happily the wedding went off without any problems. The reception hall was beautifully decorated and the custom wedding cake was out of this world. What I did not know was that my beautiful new bride had placed a bumper sticker on the back of my tux, which said, “Man is not complete until he is married; then he is finished!” Several people got a lot of laughs from this. Vicki later apologized to me, but laughed in her very unique devilish way.

While Vicki and I were to be away on our honeymoon, Aunt Molly and Uncle Ed were to take care of Jason and they had charge of him while at the church and reception. What none of us realized was that Jason had approached several people and asked them for a sip of their drink. Most people were either drinking champagne or beer and they thought a sip could not hurt him. Well, Jason received a great many little sips and he quickly became a little intoxicated! Vicki and I were glad Aunt Molly and Uncle Ed had the pleasure of dealing with the aftermath.

Molly’s sister Kim shared this memory of our wedding day. “I so remember your wedding. It was beautiful but I have to say the best part was you guys left a little boy who was taking everyone’s champagne glasses with my sister and Ed. Jason had his first experience with alcohol (LOL).

That boy was 2 years old and toasted while singing Michael Jackson all the way home!”

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Crochetiere

June 1^st, 1985

After the reception, Vicki and I drove to my parent’s (Pete and Barbara Crochetiere) house so we could change our clothes and leave for our honeymoon. Having been raised under my parent’s rules, I knew ‘girls’ were not allowed in my bedroom and I told Vicki she could change in Tina’s bedroom while I changed in mine. Vicki laughed and said, “We are married now; we can change in the same room together”. You know, she was right! I am going to like this marriage thing.

I booked the honeymoon suite at a San Diego hotel, high up overlooking the harbor. I did not realize the US Navy was so big in San Diego and I was fascinated by all of the naval ships going past our balcony. A couple of times, Vicki asked me what I was doing out on the balcony watching those ships, she told me to “Get back in here with me”. I was really liking this marriage thing!

Sometime later Vicki told to me she had a fear of heights and this is why she never went out on the balcony with me during our honeymoon. I had forgotten all about it, but it weighed heavy on her mind and felt I needed to know the truth.

Not long after we got married, Vicki bought me a home computer. You remember the Commodore 64 computers don’t you? I really got into this home computer thing and very much enjoyed it. So much so that when Vicki told me I was spending too much time on the computer and not enough time with her and Jason, she simply picked up the keyboard and threw it to get my attention. She got my attention and I quickly learned to be more attentive and understanding of my new duties and responsibilities as a husband and father. She was right; I was spending too much time playing computer games and looking for Carmen Diego!

Throughout my teenage years, I lived with my maternal grandparents in the desert. I loved the desert just as my Grandpa Todd did and stayed there until one year after graduating high school. Not being able to find good work in the desert, I moved back to the big city (Los Angeles area) with my parents. At the young age of 20, I got started in a law enforcement career as a Jailer with the Palos Verdes Estates Police Department in 1981. Although I enjoyed my new career, I very much missed the desert.

Shortly before meeting Vicki, she and Jason moved to the desert from the city. When we got married, I commuted back and forth from our desert apartment to work. This was a tiring 2 ½ to 3 hour drive one-way. A couple of weeks after we were married, we found an apartment not far from my work and moved there together.

During the summer, Vicki’s family went on a family campout to McGrath State Beach. I was never the kind of person who wore shorts and Vicki tried to talk me into wearing shorts at least while we were camping at the beach. Being the stubborn person that I was, I refused.

Vicki and her mother went into town and bought me a few pairs of shorts and when she returned, she again tried to talk me into wearing them. I held firm and still said, “No”. Vicki said she would later reward me if I at least wore the shorts for 1-day. She would not tell what this reward was but my curiosity got the best of me and I agreed.

I then took off my blue jean pants and put on those shorts. You know, I had no idea I would be more comfortable and cooler wearing shorts. After all my fuss, I think I was going to like wearing shorts during the hotter months. Later that night while we were in our tent, Vicki was true to her word and rewarded me. Yes, I like being married!

While visiting Vicki’s family one day, her mother mentioned they got a parking ticket on one of their cars and she was not happy about it. I decided to put a phony parking ticket on her car and signed my name. When one of the kids told her they thought her car got another parking ticket she immediately went out to see what for this time. As she realized I put the ticket on the car, she yelled at me and began to chase me. Here I am, a 24-year old man running away from a 40 something mother-in-law, there was no way she was going to catch me. Just when I turned my head to look back to see how far back she was from me, SMACK! I guess she was a lot faster than I thought she would be.

In October, Vicki’s father invited me to go hunting with him along with Vicki’s brothers, Mark and Kevin. We set off for the Sequoia National Forest with rifles in hand and we all went our separate ways in search of Bambi. I was glad to not have found Bambi or any of his relatives. I had a great time alone in the forest just admiring the sheer beauty.

When we returned home, Mark and Kevin told me it was their father’s birthday. I suggested we all get together and give him his birthday spankings but they both just looked at me in fear and said, “No way, he will kill us!” I told them I was not afraid of their father so I jumped him to administer his birthday spankings. Luckily, both Mark and Kevin did not want me to die alone so they jumped in to help out. Much to their surprise, their dad did not get mad about this and thought it was funny. We all had a good time together.