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The shock of the experiencing crisis and impasse—the heralds of the need for a new vision—can overwhelm us. The old issues and the memories they evoke can seem so painful that we suppress them or disassociate from them before they even become conscious. We may choose, with or without full awareness, to retreat or to evade. “Just let me get through this so I can get back to what I was doing,” we might tell ourselves, or “I know this needs my attention, but I just can’t face it right now.” This response is not a sign of moral weakness—sometimes what life presents is just too much. And staying stuck may seem like the most natural way to move forward because it allows us to hew the familiar, to remain “who we are”— or who we think we must be. But while defensive evasion may get us past the immediate circumstances of the crisis, it simply postpones resolving the issue underlying the crisis, and going through change. There is no integration of the crisis experience, as demonstrated in figure I-1.

FIGURE I-1

Staying stuck