Читать книгу What Every Parent Needs to Know About Self-Injury - Tonja Krautter - Страница 9

Self-injury is not a new phenomenon. Documentation of this behavior dates back to biblical times. The reason for the tremendous increase in publicity around this behavior in the past few years is directly connected to the increased number of cases reported in a variety of settings. Elementary, middle, and high school campuses are all identifying individuals who are engaging in this behavior much more frequently than in the past. Teachers are often the first to discover the problem and are often the ones who inform the child’s parent. This is how Sierra’s parents found out.

Sierra had just entered high school. The change from middle school to high school was not easy for her. Her mother described her as “a girl who strives for perfection in everything she does.” She noted that even as a little girl, she put a lot of pressure on herself. Unfortunately, her high expectations often led to disappointment.

Sierra agreed that if she is less than perfect in her eyes or in the eyes of others, she becomes overwhelmingly distraught. As a way to cope with this distress, she began beating herself up both figuratively and literally. She started scratching her arms and legs in the beginning of her freshman year. By mid-year, she added a routine of punching herself in the stomach every time she got less than a 95% on a test. Although this helped her relieve her frustration to some degree, the scratching and punching did not give her the release she was looking for. She began cutting herself, using an X-Acto knife. She found it ironic that it was the same knife she used to perfect her art projects at home.

One day, at the end of her freshman year, she was out at PE. She always wore long sleeves to hide her cuts. After a grueling hour of field hockey, she returned to English class unaware that blood was seeping through her sleeve. Her English teacher noticed it right away when she raised her hand in class to answer a question. She was sent to the nurse who, in turn, sent her to the emergency room for stitches. The intense game of field hockey had re-opened a wound. Getting hit in the arm with the stick did not help either.

Upon entering treatment, Sierra tried to describe what led to her self-injurious behavior. She wrote in a journal entry, “At fifteen, before I have even finished my freshman year in high school, I already have a concept of what seems like immense pressure and stress. This is a feeling sewn deeply into me, a memory I can never erase. This pressure, coming from within, leads directly to my desire to self-harm. Although I cannot escape the memory, I can erase the tension and pressure that consume me in a given moment on a given day. Being the perfectionist that I am, I have always doubted myself, what I am capable of, and whether I am good enough. With help I am learning to break free of this habit, but the desire for perfection may always linger in the back of my mind.”

In addition to middle schools and high schools, universities, jails, and work settings are seeing their fair share of self-injurious behavior. Elaine, mentioned previously, writes, “I have been with the same company since I graduated from college and have worked my way up to vice president. I am proud of my accomplishments. It is not easy for a woman to make it in a man’s world, especially so early in life. I am a hard worker and I have good values. So why would I ever self-injure? The few close friends that know of my behavior ask me that question all of the time. They don’t get it. Almost nobody ever does. For me, it is not about hating myself or punishing myself or feeling pain. It is a way to express what I am feeling and relieve the tension that goes along with my very stressful job. I am worried about being in a relationship and starting a family. I certainly do not want to model this destructive behavior for my children. I just know that when I self-injure, I feel better. It is an immediate relief from the distressing feelings that I have on a regular basis.”

John is 22 years old. He spent one year in juvenile hall where he knew several kids who utilized self-injury as a coping mechanism. He never engaged in the behavior himself until he went to jail at age 19 for involuntary manslaughter. John is an alcoholic. He has been in and out of rehabilitation centers since he was 16. One evening, he got extremely intoxicated and blacked out. He doesn’t remember getting into his car, driving 55 mph in a residential neighborhood, and crashing into the side of a house. John killed a child who was asleep inside her bedroom. The first night he spent in jail, he began self-injuring as way to punish himself. He commented, “I could not hurt myself enough for what I did to that poor kid and her family.” The guards at the jail had to put John on a round-the-clock safety watch as a precaution to keep him safe.

Given the increasing number of self-injury cases, it is no surprise that medical and psychiatric professionals are inundated with patients seeking treatment for their wounds, scars, and psychological distress. Hospitals and doctors are often the first to identify self-injurious behavior. New and old scars are often observed when patients come to emergency rooms for treatment, or to their doctors’ offices for check-ups. In the past, these individuals were questioned about their injuries in attempt to determine whether they were being abused by another person. However, in recent years, questions regarding self-abuse have become much more prominent.

Brian is 17 years old and a junior in high school. His parent found out about his self-injurious behavior when he was taken to the emergency room for an unrelated incident. He broke his collar bone while playing in a football game at school. Brian explains, “I have always been described as ‘the popular jock that gets good grades and all the girls.’ Why would someone like me ever feel any pain, right? Wrong. I feel just as much pain and pressure as anyone else. It might sound weird hearing this from a guy, but society places too much pressure on teens to be a certain way and it’s not only the girls who feel it. Society says that in order for girls to be popular and successful in life, they must be thin and beautiful. In order for guys to be popular and successful, they must be intelligent, good looking, and strong. If a teen falls short on any of these traits, he or she is ostracized and isolated. It’s hard for me to meet all of the expectations that have been set by others. It is even harder for me to meet the ones I set for myself. When the tension becomes too much, I look for a way out. Self-mutilation provides me with that way.”