Читать книгу The Ice Monster - David Walliams, Quentin Blake, Tony Ross - Страница 23

Out of the darkness stepped a figure dressed in a pith helmet, knee-high lace-up boots and a khaki coat. A plume of grey cigar smoke followed it.

“Who the blazes is that?” demanded the Queen, struggling to see.

“Oh n-no,” stammered Lankester.

“Who is it?”

“Lady Buckshot the big-game hunter, Your Majesty,” replied Lankester.

“Oh no!” agreed the Queen.

Disapproving murmurs echoed around the hall.

“What is she doing here?” pressed the Queen.

“Well, ma’am,” replied the hunter, “I shot and killed every single stuffed animal in the museum.”

“Such a shame the animals weren’t armed, or they could have fired back,” hissed the Queen to Abdul, just loud enough for Buckshot to hear.

“Ha! Ha!” Abdul couldn’t help but laugh.

“It’s a shame this here monster is already dead,” began Buckshot. “It would have been my great pleasure to shoot it, right between the eyes.”

“Well, erm, um, L-L-Lady Buckshot,” spluttered Lankester, “the mammoth as a species has long since been extinct.”

“I am in the extinction business,” replied the hunter. “I would wipe out every last creature on Earth if I could.”

“How delightful for you!” said the Queen sarcastically. “Now, where is this tea and cake?”

Lankester leaped in. “Tea and cakes will now be served in the gallery. If you would follow me…”

The Queen took Abdul’s arm, and she shuffled out of the hall.

The great and the good all followed, which left Buckshot alone with the mammoth. From the top of the stairs, Elsie and Dotty watched as she marched right up to the front of the tank. There she mimed taking out a shotgun, loading it and firing. “BOOM!” She even provided a sound effect, before miming the mammoth’s brains splurging out.

“Ha! Ha! Ha!” she chuckled to herself, before drifting back into the shadows.

Now only Elsie and Dotty were left in the main hall.

“I am trembling!” chattered Elsie, holding on to the balcony rail. The evil stench of Buckshot’s cigar smoke had snaked all the way up there.

“Me too. Evil woman. She’s always dragging in some poor tiger or lion she’s shot, with a wicked grin on her face.”

“So, now she’s gone, do we dare?” asked the girl.

“Dare what?” replied the cleaning lady.

“Do we dare to go down and take a closer look?”

Dotty shook her head. “Ooh, Elsie, you’ll get me into deep doo-doo.”

“Let’s just have a very, very, very quick look.”

When the girl put it that way, it was hard to say no.

“A very quick look?” asked Dotty.

“A glance, really.”

“A glimpse?”

“Less than a glimpse, a peep.”

“A peek?”

“Exactly!” replied Elsie.

Dotty sighed heavily. “All right, then. Let’s have a peek at this manmoth.”

“I think it’s ‘mammoth’,” corrected Elsie.

“Yes, ‘manmoth’! That’s what I said.”

Elsie smiled, and pulled the lady along by her sleeve. “Dotty, come on…”