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The Preliminaries
Оглавление“Now back to Jim and more local news.”
“Thanks, Sue. Well, school board meetings are rarely the stuff of drama, but tonight’s was a noisy exception. Here’s Cindy Howell’s report.”
“And dramatic it was, Jim, as parents, teachers, and administrators clashed over what might seem to be no issue at all: a reading assignment for a class of fourth-graders. But when the story is called ‘A Little Bit Different,’ and the main character is a boy who announces that he’s gay, results can be explosive. Here’s what one father said.”
“Listen, I don’t care if you’re gay, straight, or whatever. But do we have to spill this garbage in front of nine-year-olds?”
“One mother agreed.”
“They’re just kids, for God’s sake! Can’t you let them grow up without poisoning their minds?”
“In response to such anger, teacher Nancy Nesbit defended her actions.”
“All we want to do is teach our children that even though people may be different, they’re still entitled to respect—”
“They’re not your children. They’re our children!”
“But I’m responsible for their education!”
“Then act like it!”
“That’s exactly what I’m doing! By letting them know that there’s more than one way to show love.”
“But Ms. Nesbit couldn’t soothe the irate mob. One passionate woman seemed to speak for many.”
“Listen, the only teacher I care about is the Bible. And the Bible tells us that relations between two men or two women are an abomination—”
“The Bible also says ‘Love thy neighbor.’”
“Does that mean you’re supposed to have sex with ‘em?”
“I didn’t say that!”
“Hey, some people love horses!”
“Are you comparing gay people to horses?”
“Well, if the shoe fits—”
“And so it went, with no resolution in sight. Reporting from School Board Headquarters, this is Cindy Howell, Channel 6 Action News.”
¶ ¶ ¶
“For the second evening in a row, a local School Board debated the controversial assignment given to Nancy Nesbit’s fourth-grade class: a story about a gay boy who comes out. Here’s Cindy Howell.”
“Jim, for a while this meeting was just as raucous as last night’s, and charges flew back and forth. The hubbub subsided, however, when one woman calmly walked to the microphone and addressed the overflow crowd.”
“Hello. My name is Cassie McClellan. I’ve lived in this town for only a year, so some of you may figure I’m not entitled to my opinion—”
“That depends on what it is!”
“Shut up!”
“But I just want to say to Ms. Nesbit that as the mother of a student in another class, I respect your intentions—”
“Boooo!”
“– but you have to realize that as parents we want what’s best for our children. And that’s why—”
“So do I—”
“You sure got a funny way of showin’ it—”
“Shut up!”
“You shut up!”
“THAT’S WHY . . . I feel that when it comes to subject matter like this, you have to be very, very careful.”
“Yay!”
“I believe I have been.”
“Not careful enough.”
“I beg your pardon, but—”
“That’s why I have a simple message for you, Ms. Nesbit. Hands off!”
“I’m only trying to—”
“Hands off, Ms. Nesbit. Hands off!”
“After that exchange, everyone seemed to be exhausted, so now the resolution of this controversy is in the hands of the Board. Cindy Howell, Channel 6 Action News.”
¶ ¶ ¶
“Our guest this morning is a candidate for City Council, Cassie McClellan. Ms. McClellan, thanks for joining us on Forum.”
“My pleasure.”
“Glad to have you. Now, as some of our viewers are aware, you came to public attention a few months ago when you spoke at a highly impassioned School Board meeting. Did that occasion inspire you to run for office?”
“Ben, until that night I had never even considered getting into the public sphere. But after I put in my two cents—”
“And the issue was subsequently resolved in your favor . . .”
“A couple of party leaders suggested that I become a candidate.”
“Are you glad you did?”
“I just want to help our community in any way I can.”
“Well, you seem to be a natural campaigner, at least according to our most recent poll, which has you leading by double digits.”
“That’s great news, but as we all know, it’s early yet.”
“Only two weeks before Election Day.”
“That’s true, but you know the old saying: ‘In politics a week is like a year.’”
“I thought that’s ‘A day is like a month.’”
“You get the idea.”
¶ ¶ ¶
“Councilwoman Cassie McClellan earned a rousing ovation today as the featured speaker at the Annual Professional Women’s Luncheon. Afterwards, she sat down with our Ben Hansen.”
“I must say, Ms. McClellan, you really seemed to connect with your audience.”
“Thanks, Ben, but I don’t think such enthusiasm was for me personally. It’s our ‘move-on-hands-off’ theme that hits home.”
“You’re very modest.”
“Just honest.”
“Fair enough. Tell me, Ms. McClellan, for those listeners just getting to know you, where would you say you belong on the political spectrum?”
“You mean am I conservative, liberal—”
“Whatever.”
“I’ll tell you, Ben. I don’t like labels—”
“Even so, how would you define yourself—”
“I also don’t think I fit any particular category—”
“I understand. Of course, quite a few observers have called you a strong conservative voice—”
“And I suppose I am. In certain ways.”
“For instance?’
“I don’t like wasting money.”
“A lot of politicians say that.”
“But most of them still throw it away on useless government projects.”
“We’re probably all aware—”
“And that’s not how I operate, either as a member of the Council or as a mother at home. If my family and I can’t afford something, we don’t buy it. Even when we want a special present for one of the children, we never spend what we don’t have. And I try to apply that same principle to our city budget.”
“Many politicians claim to agree with you, but when they get into office, they somehow let our money fly out the window—”
“That’s a trend I want to change.”
“I hope you succeed.”
“Thanks. By the way, if I may correct you, I don’t think of myself as a politician. Something about that word bothers me—”
“I guess it does have some unpleasant implications.”
“A lot of ‘em.”
“Of course, you have to admit that you do work in politics—”
“I prefer to call it ‘public service.’”
¶ ¶ ¶
“Councilwoman Cassie McClellan has announced that she will be a candidate for State Assembly . . .”
“Welcome to the show, Ms. McClellan. Now for those listeners to whom yours is a new voice, could you tell us about your background?”
“Well, I moved here three years ago with my husband and children.”
“And what does Mr. McClellan do?”
“He’s a—”
“It is Mr. McClellan, isn’t it?”
“It certainly is.”
“Because these days you never know.”
“I understand, but I guess I’m an old-fashioned girl, because I was more than happy to take my husband’s name.”
“Just checking. Please go on. You were explaining what he does.”
“Phil is a Vice-President for Human Resources at the Crandall Corporation.”
“Quite an important position.”
“I’m very proud of him.”
“Now, apart from your work on the Council, do you have a job?”
“You mean outside my home?”
“Exactly.”
“Ben, my primary responsibility is taking care of my family, and to my mind that’s a full-time career, as well as the most important one I know—”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply that women—”
“I’m sure you didn’t. But remember: we homemakers work just as hard . . . maybe harder . . . than anyone else.”
“Of course you do. And I certainly hope I didn’t offend any of our female listeners—”
“But to answer your question, before my children came along, I did explore another field.”
“Could you tell us—”
“After I earned my Master’s degree in Art History, I was both a college instructor and a museum curator—”
“That must have been a fascinating—”
“It was. And I loved my work. But when my husband and I decided to have a family, we agreed that I would stay at home full-time and concentrate on raising our kids.”
“Do you consider that decision a sacrifice?”
“Some people may see it that way, but for us it was simply a matter of establishing priorities. We’ve always believed that the first few years of a child’s life are crucial. And to us nothing’s more vital than the well-being of our children.”
“How old are they now?”
“Emily is eleven, and Ethan is six.”
“Classic American names.”
“That’s what we wanted.”
“Both are in school, I trust.”
“They are.”
“And over the years you’ve supported them by giving time to a variety of parent-teacher initiatives.”
“As a mother, I think I have that responsibility.”
“In fact, it was one particular moment at a School Board meeting when you spoke urgently about a matter of . . . was it curriculum—”
“It was.”
“. . . which first brought you a certain measure of fame.”
“I’m not sure I’d use that word—”
“That’s also when the opportunity to participate more fully presented itself—”
“And that’s when I realized that here was another way to serve my community.”
“Commendable, indeed.”
“You’re very kind.”
“We’ll be right back.”
¶ ¶ ¶
“Assemblywoman Cassie McClellan appeared today at the opening of the new mini-mall on Crescent Avenue, where she spoke to a crowd of grateful residents.”
“I am so happy to be with you!”
“Yay!”
“Because this wonderful place is a tribute to the power of both the individual and the community.”
“Yay!”
“For a long time we’ve dreamed that this vision would come to life, but it wasn’t until we stopped waiting for government handouts that we made progress. That’s when we raised money by ourselves, found private and corporate donors by ourselves, and made this place happen. BY OURSELVES!!”
“Yay!”
“So I think we all deserve a big round of applause!”
“Yay!”
“C’mon, give yourselves a real hand!”
“YAY!”
“Cassie, Cassie, Cassie!”
“Run, run, run!”
“Thank you so much!”
“Run, Cassie, run!”
“Thank you! You make a girl feel really appreciated!”
“Yay!”
“And that’s why I have some advice . . . or maybe it’s a warning . . .”
“Hah-hah!”
“. . . for our leaders in Washington and in our own state capitol. Stop throwing away our money on useless pork projects! Let us keep more of it in our own pockets! Then let us decide how to spend it!”
“Yay!”
“And I promise you that we’ll do a lot better job than the fat cats!”
“Cassie, Cassie, Cassie!”
“Run, run, run!”
“Cassie, Cassie, Cassie!”
“Jim, the response from the crowd was electric. If everyone here today voted in the next election, Ms. McClellan would win in a landslide!”
¶ ¶ ¶
“Welcome back to Forum, where we’re speaking to Assemblywoman Cassie McClellan. Ms. McClellan, we’ve discussed your economic goals. But I’m sure potential voters are also interested in your views on some of the key social issues of the day.”
“Whatever they want to know.”
“Fine. How would you describe your political philosophy?”
“Well, I basically favor less government interference and more individual freedom.”
“And what about—”
“In fact, I have a simple message for our leaders, wherever they might be.”
“And that is . . . ?”
“Hands off!”
“Hah-hah! That’s a phrase you’ve used many times before. In fact, it seems to be turning into your own personal slogan.”
“If it is, I don’t mind at all. It’s one of my core beliefs.”
“And what exactly does it mean?”
“It means that as Americans, we want to run our own lives, and set our own standards. We don’t need professional politicians from Washington telling us how to behave. We also don’t need media types from New York and California telling us what to think. We’re perfectly capable of deciding these matters for ourselves.”
“I understand. Now tell me: I’ve heard a lot of buzz about the possibility of your running for Congress. Is there any truth to these rumors?”
“Well, of course I’m flattered. After all, just to be considered is an honor—”
“Does that mean you’ll be running?”
“On the other hand, I have plenty to do right here.”
“I’m sure you do. But there’s no doubt that as a member of Congress, you’d have far more opportunity to influence policy both locally and nationally—”
“I guess I would—”
“Then suppose you were asked?”
“Oh, that‘d be a tough decision. After all, the position is very demanding, and there are so many qualified candidates—”
“But you must have ambitions along that line—”
“I really don’t. Besides, before I take any formal steps in that direction, I’d want to discuss the matter with my family. My husband, my children, and—”
“Who would certainly play a part—”
“A big part. That’s why I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.”
“You wouldn’t care to give us an inside scoop.”
“Not right now.”
“Maybe one day?”
“If my plans ever change, you’ll be the first to know.”
¶ ¶ ¶
“Welcome back to this one and only debate between Congressman Dennis Buehl and his opponent, Assemblywoman Cassie McClellan. Now, candidates, I’d like to move away from fiscal matters and on to other issues. Congressman Buehl, during your ten terms as representative for the third district, you’ve been a staunch supporter of women’s rights.”
“I like to think so.”
“You’ve been particularly outspoken on the matter of abortion. Since this subject arouses such passion, would you care to reaffirm your position?”
“I’d be happy to. From the start of my political career, I have been pro-choice, and I remain committed to that point of view. To state the matter as clearly as possible, I believe in a woman’s right to make her own medical decisions. I believe that the freedom to control her own body, according to her conscience and in consultation with her doctor and her family, but especially without interference by legislators or judges, ought to remain the right of every woman in this country.”
“Thank you. Ms. McClellan, would you care to respond?”
“Well, Mr. Buehl’s words sound reassuring, but does he really believe that killing is a matter of individual conscience? I don’t think so. In fact, I’m sure he agrees with me . . . with millions of us, both men and women . . . that we shouldn’t allow anyone to kill simply because they claim that their conscience grants them that right. So let me make my position as clear as possible: abortion is murder. Plain and simple.”
“As I said, I strongly disagree—”
“Excuse me, but I haven’t finished!”
“May I just say—”
“May I finish?”
“I only want to say—”
“May I FINISH?”
“Go ahead.”
“Thank you. Abortion is the taking of an innocent human life. That is my unshakeable conviction. And no liberal doubletalk about rights or freedom can disguise this fundamental truth. So let’s stop trying to satisfy the selfish whims of irresponsible women, and talk instead about raising our moral standards.”
¶ ¶ ¶
“As you heard, the debate just ended. Now let’s go to our team of experts for analysis. Alice Lasky, what did you think?”
“Jim, for a first-timer she did a lot better than many of the so-called pros expected. Maybe they figured that because she’s a woman she’d get nervous—”
“No one said that—”
“But the fact is, she stated her opinions clearly and firmly—”
“Until she became too aggressive—”
“And started whining—”
“Bruce Nolan—”
“And screaming—”
“Boy, there’s a loaded word—”
“Buehl kept interrupting her.”
“He was trying to make a point!”
“It was her turn!”
“And that’s why many women are going to sympathize with her—”
“Ben Hansen—”
“Some women. Maybe. But I doubt it—”
“You have to understand.”
“Alice—”
“There’s nothing women hate as much as—”
“Don’t you see? She’s clearly wants to turn back the clock on a personal right that women have fought for decades to preserve—”
“But he’s militantly pro-abortion—”
“The phrase is ‘pro-choice.’
“Lisa Dubrow—”
“No one is pro-abortion—”
“It’s traumatic under the best of—”
“Then why is he so enthusiastic about them?”
“Bruce, did you want to get in here—”
“He’s not—”
“Her beliefs are grounded in ethical and moral principles—”
”Alice . . . er . . . Ben—”
“They’re part of her religion—”
“She wants to deny women basic control over their own bodies—”
“There’s nothing women hate as much—”
“She treats women as if they were children—”
“She says she wants to do away with government interference—”
“Exactly—”
“But she brings the legislature right into the doctor’s office—”
“That’s an exaggeration—”
“Dictating treatment—”
“Demanding that certain documents be read aloud—”
“They want to treat women like children—”
“There’s nothing woman hate as much—”
“What about fiscal concerns?”
“There she sounds very convincing—”
“But without any specifics—”
“There’s nothing women HATE AS MUCH—”
“On the other hand, Buehl has supported women’s rights for years—”
“THERE’S NOTHING WOMEN HATE AS MUCH AS BEING INTERRUPTED BY MEN!!”
“Let’s remember that.”
“We’ll be back to Forum after this message.”
¶ ¶ ¶
“Now to Cindy Howell at McClellan campaign headquarters.”
“Thanks, Jim. I hope you can hear me over this commotion, because there’s no doubt that unfettered joy is the feeling of the moment, as Cassie McClellan’s supporters threaten to raise the roof. During the past week, tight polling had suggested that the outcome of this contest might not be decided until late in the evening, but from the start of the vote-counting, the numbers have been going Ms. McClellan’s way.
“We now anticipate her victory speech . . . wait a minute . . . I hear something . . . and here she comes!
“Congresswoman-elect McClellan, accompanied by her husband and children, has finally arrived to address this cheering throng and relish a well-earned victory lap.”
“Thank you! Thank you all very much!”
“Yay!”
“It’s been quite a night, hasn’t it?”
“Yay!”
“All the experts predicted that there was no way we could unseat a ten-term Congressman, but we showed ‘em, didn’t we?”
“Yay!”
“This is a truly victory for the people!”
“Yay!”
“‘Yay’ is right!”
“YAY!”
“Thank you, thank you! Now . . . I have an awful lot of folks to thank, so I hope you’ll bear with me.”
“Yay!”
“First I want to express my deep gratitude to a wonderful campaign team, who worked long hours every day to make this dream come true.”
“Yay!”
“You were great! Every one of you!”
“Yay!”
“I also want to thank my family, my husband and children—”
“Yay!”
“Who never became discouraged and always believed in me—”
“Yay!”
“And who sacrificed their time and energy so that I might stand before you tonight.”
“Yay!”
“But more than anyone else . . . more than anyone else . . . I want to thank you, my loyal supporters—”
“Yay!”
“Who rang doorbells, and made phone calls, and mailed envelopes, and gave so generously of your time and energy to carry out the countless jobs that go into a triumph like this.”
“Yay!”
“And that’s why I want you to remember something that’s so important: this election has not been about me personally.”
“Cassie, Cassie, Cassie!”
“No, it’s not about me! And I mean that! This campaign has always been about US!”
“Yay!”
“Our cause!”
“Yay!”
“And the traditional values we support.”
“Yay!”
“Fiscal discipline, hard work, faith in God and family, and . . . most of all . . . ?”
“Hndsof.”
“I can’t hear you!”
“Hands off!”
“Once more?”
“HANDS OFF!!!”
“Right!”
“Yay!”
“You and I stood together, worked together, and prayed together, and that’s why we won. Together we beat the system!”
“YAY!”
“Not long ago, the political big shots figured that they owned this district. Well, not any more!”
“Yay!”
“And now we’re going to take our message and our values to Washington!”
“Yay!”
“Are you with me?”
“Yes!”
“Are you with me?”
“YES!”
“Then with your help . . . and with firm faith that we are doing God’s work . . .”
“Yay!”
“It’s off to Congress!”
“YAAAYYY!”
¶ ¶ ¶
“Okay, panel. The elections have come and gone, and it’s time for the postmortem. Ben Hansen, what’s your nomination for the most intriguing result?”
“Are we talking locally?”
“We are, indeed.”
“Then I don’t think there’s any doubt that the story of this year is the upset of a Washington institution, Congressman Dennis Buehl, by a comparative novice, Cassie McClellan.”
“I think that one took us all by surprise. But, as usual, Ben, I’m sure you have an explanation.”
“And, as usual, you’re right.”
“Never any doubt.”
“Well, a few factors were clearly at work. Number one, voters were restless, and this particular outcome shows that they were prepared to expel everyone, regardless of party or experience or—”
“Maybe, but that’s not all—”
“Alice Lasky—”
“I think you’re underestimating her appeal—”
“What they like about her is—”
“First of all, she’s a very attractive woman—”
“Stylish—”
“Bruce Nolan—”
“Young, energetic—”
“Young-ish—”
“Can’t men talk about something beside looks?”
“Alice—”
“What they like about her—”
“And even though she was running as a conservative in a liberal district—”
“Not so much liberal as moderate—”
“Independent—”
“WHAT THEY LIKE ABOUT HER . . . what they like about her . . . is her direct approach. She doesn’t speak like a politician—”
“Could I just say—”
“So voters feel that even if they don’t always agree with her, at least they know where she stands—”
“Could I just say—”
“And at a time when so many candidates appear wishy-washy and afraid to offend anybody, she seems to be the genuine article—”
“Lisa Dubrow–“
“She says what she thinks.”
“Didn’t I just say that?”
“Could I just add—”
“But don’t be fooled. This is a very smart woman—”
“Did somebody claim that she’s not—”
“It’s easy to jump to that conclusion—”
“You mean just because she’s attractive, we should assume that—”
“Could I just say—”
“Lisa—”
“I’m only trying to point out that she’s very bright and articulate, in addition to being a real charmer—”
“Are you surprised that a woman can be attractive and articulate—”
“COULD I JUST SAY . . .”
“Lisa?”
“Could I just say . . . that here is a woman to watch.”
“Do you mean—?”
“I mean that she has all the credentials, plus a lot of ability, political and otherwise—”
“You think she’s a comer—”
“Absolutely—”
“You think she’s going places.”
“If I were a betting woman—”
“And you are, or so I’ve heard—”
“She definitely has a future—”
“You heard it here—”
“And I fully expect her to establish herself on the national level sooner rather than later.”
“On that optimistic note, we’ll be right back.”
¶ ¶ ¶
“Coach, what’s your prediction?”
“Biff, in big-time football games, big-time football teams with big-time football players make big-time football plays. And the Wolverines have more big-time football players. That’s why they’ll win this football game by at least a touchdown.”
“Bammer?”
“Crossing patterns by the Vultures’ backs and receivers will split the defense. There’s no way the Wolverines can cover them—”
“Maybe not man-to-man—”
“A.J.?”
“Rasheed Johnson can out-jump everyone—”
“If Merrill can get him the ball—”
“That depends on the protection—”
“They’ll also take away the slot—”
“That’s their bread and butter—”
“Their go-to play—”
“But with a zone they can blanket the field—”
“They still can’t take away the outside—”
“And Merrill can always go to the short pass—”
“But without a running game—”
“Hinson runs a four-five forty, he’s stays low to the ground, and when you hit him, it’s like you’ve hit a brick wall—”
“With his moves, there’s no way anyone can tackle him one-on-one in the open field—”
“He can’t get free if the blocking isn’t there—”
“They’ve got a terrific front line—”
“But Skorianski’s out at left tackle—”
“And they’re not fast enough to control the linebackers—”
“Taylor’s knee still isn’t right—”
“Look, here’s the bottom line. The game plan for this football game—”
“And Hinson doesn’t have the hands to work the flat—”
“But after last week’s loss, the Wolverines are a hungry football team. And hungry football teams—”
“Give me a break! Their kicking game stinks—”
“I’m telling ya’. Merrill is a big-time quarterback. And in big-time football games, big-time quarterbacks always come up big—”
“24-17. Vultures.”
“He’s got the arm, he’s got the legs, and he’s got the leadership—”
“24-17.”
“The offensive line is huge, the defense is full of hard-hitters—”
“Speed beats size—”
“It’s gonna be one heckuva a football game by two great football teams.”
¶ ¶ ¶
“Our guest tonight is Vance Harrington, senior Senator from our state, who’s enjoying a brief respite at home while Congress is in recess. Senator, it’s an honor to have you with us.”
“Happy to be here, Ben. And of course it’s always a pleasure to share time with family and friends.”
“Thank you, sir. Well, you’re in the middle of your fifth term in the United States Senate, and I’m sure many viewers are speculating about your plans.”
“Ben, I wish I could give you a firm answer one way or the other, but right now that decision is a couple of years away.”
“You must have thought about it.”
“Of course I have, but in truth nothing’s been decided yet.”
“Do you expect to run for another term?”
“You say ‘another term’ sound as if I’ve been around since the Civil War.”
“No offense, Senator—”
“Of course not—”
“But quite a few of us can’t remember when you didn’t represent our interests in Washington.”
“It’s been a privilege.”
“And, of course, so many iconic images of you remain in our minds.”
“I’m glad I’m still here to remember them—”
“Marching through the South for civil rights.”
“Frightening times, Ben. We never knew if we would come back alive. But also some of the most inspiring times of my life.”
“Leading protests against military intervention all over the world.”
“Sadly, that’s a cause that never seems to end.”
“Fighting in the courts for the rights of workers.”
“Another endless battle.”
“Voter registration. It’s been quite a career.”
“Thank you.”
“Plus along the way you’ve met some remarkable people.”
“Many, many of them, Ben. I’ve seen this country up close, and I remain awestruck by its greatness.”
“Sometimes we forget that.”
“But we never should.”
“Well said.”
“Thank you.”
“You’ve also seen some of the dark corners of our history.”
“Let’s put it this way: I’ve experienced my share of skirmishes.”
“Recently, of course, they’ve been especially bitter.”
“That’s what some folks say, but to be perfectly honest, Ben, and speaking very frankly, passions don’t run any hotter today than they did decades ago. The big difference now is the intense news cycle that runs twenty-four hours—”
“All day and night.”
“Twenty-four hours.”
“Nonstop, isn’t it?”
“So everybody’s words and emotions are a little more exposed, a little more out in the open, a little more vulnerable to public scrutiny. And one consequence is that those of us who are actually in office have to be perpetually aware—”
“Who are in the line of fire, so to speak.”
“Those of us in office have to be more careful about everything we do and everything we say—”
“I guess you’re on display all the time—”
“Twenty-four hours a day—”
“Seven days a week—”
“The job never really ends.”
“It’s a different world, isn’t it, from when you started?”
“It’s a different world, and it’s a different job—”
“Relentless—”
“Nonstop—”
“Twenty-four-seven.”
“The action never stops.”
“And you’re right there on the front lines.”
“Well put, Ben.”
“We’ll be back in two minutes.”
¶ ¶ ¶
“The Chair recognizes Congresswoman Cassie McClellan.”
“Thank you, Mr. Chairman. I have only a few questions. Good afternoon, Mr. Bogash. And thank you for appearing before us today.”
“You’re welcome—”
“Now, sir, you’ve testified that the five school districts in question are desperately short of funds.”
“That’s right. They—”
“But do you really expect us to believe that the money which has been apportioned to you thus far has been spent wisely?”
“I certainly do.”
“Then explain something for me. Three years—”
“I’ll do my best.“
“Thank you. Three years ago the sum of $7 million was given to you by the federal government for the sole purpose of building a community swimming pool—”
“If I may—”
“Sir, that’s an awful lot of money. In fact, it’s more than would seem necessary for just about any swimming pool that I’ve ever heard of.”
“Well, it was going to be an indoor pool—”
“Even so—”
“—with a new kind of heating system—”
“Wonderful, but that pool was supposed to open thirteen months ago.”
“I’d like to explain—”
“Yet thus far not a single brick has been laid. In fact, progress has been essentially nil, has it not?”
“I wouldn’t go that far—”
“Do you have an explanation for your incompetence?”
“Well, there were a few technical problems—”
“There must have been a lot of technical problems.”
“—which arose because of construction codes—”
“And how about the $2 million you were given to update and improve your computer system?”
“Now wait a minute. That was completely installed—”
“But more than six months late.”
“Well, in that particular case—”
“And several weeks afterwards, the entire system had to be ripped out and replaced, at double the cost, because of faulty wiring. Isn’t that right?”
“Well . . .”
“Isn’t that right, sir?”
“I suppose so, but there was an unfortunate incident—”
“Apparently your district is beset by unfortunate incidents.”
“Well, this one occurred primarily because the company that we hired—”
“You also appear to have a great deal of trouble selecting people to complete jobs properly.”
“Not at all. We make every effort to hire new firms—”
“New and unproven firms.”
“Not necessarily—”
“You’re generosity is admirable, but may I suggest that you’re far too interested in achieving what you consider to be proper diversity through the unwise exercise of what is often called ‘affirmative action’ than in selecting businesses that have the know-how to spend wisely the vast sums of money that have been given to you by the federal government!”
“That is absolutely not true—”
“And now you’re seeking $3 million more to start a program in international studies at several high schools, with the intention of teaching our children about exotic cultures. Isn’t that right?”
“Congresswoman McClellan, in this shrinking world we have the responsibility to—”
“In this shrinking world, Mr. Bogash, throwing away tax dollars supplied by hard-working Americans so that you can achieve some pie-in-the-sky racial or ethnic balance is no solution to the daunting financial problems we face.”
“If I may—”
“Thank you, Mr. Chairman. I’m finished with this witness.”
¶ ¶ ¶
“Senator Harrington, what, in your opinion, is the basic difference in philosophy between your party’s view of the world and that of the opposition?”
“That’s a deep question, Ben.”
“I try, sir—”
“But I think I can answer it this way. When our side sees someone in trouble . . . maybe they’ve lost their job, or maybe they need medical care, or maybe they just lack money to put food on the dinner table, we feel obligated to help. We feel a responsibility to try to relieve the suffering of others.”
“I see—”
“The other party, however, and I regret having to saying this, the other side experiences no such sentiments. Indeed, even if they see someone in profound pain, they manage all too well to ignore such pain.”
“Do you mean—”
“If they see a starving child, they can look away.”
“What about—”
“If they see a homeless veteran, they can walk right past him.”
“I’m not sure if—”
“They figure that as long as they have theirs, then everyone else is on their own.”
“But do you find—”
“Now I’m not saying that when we try to help, we’re always successful. Sometimes our efforts fall short.”
“For example, you voted to—”
“Sometimes we make mistakes, and sometimes the other side sabotages our programs. But at least we try. I’m very proud that we are the party of compassion, while they other side is the party of . . .well—”
“Selfishness?”
“I think that’s the right word. Oh, they dress up their sentiments by speaking of ‘individual rights’ and ‘the capitalist system’ and ‘free enterprise’—”
“Don’t you believe—”
“—and they invoke a lot of fancy phrases to justify their attitude, but basically it comes down to this: we care about others, and they don’t.”
¶ ¶ ¶
“The annual meeting of the Conservative Colloquium is taking place in Washington this week, but amid closely observed appearances by several celebrated figures known to have their eye on a run for the White House, one second-term Congresswoman stole the show with a rousing speech that left this audience of fervent right-wingers standing, applauding, and cheering.”
“Would you please give a warm welcome to Representative Cassie McClellan!”
“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much! It’s wonderful to be here! Please! Thank you! And first I want to say how proud I am to share this platform with so many distinguished national leaders.”
“Yay!”
“Thank you! Thank you so much! Now . . . let me start off this way. Did you happen to hear what Senator Vance Harrington said the other day?”
“Booooooooooo!”
“He’s from my state, you know, although I don’t admit that fact with any pride.”
“Hah-hah!”
“But, remember, he’s up for re-election, so I hope you’ll keep a lookout for some good candidates to run against him, so we can send him home again, this time for good!“
“Run, run!”
“No, no—”
“Cassie, Cassie!”
“Run! Run!”
“You’re too kind! But first let me tell you what he said, so you know what I’m talking about! And I’m quoting now. I want to make sure that I get his words just right. He said that liberals care about people, but conservatives don’t.”
“Booooooooooo!”
“I’m not kidding! That’s what he said! Would I make it up?”
“No!”
“That’s what he thinks is wrong with us. And what do you think of that?”
“Booooooooooo!”
“I agree completely. Well, now it’s my turn. And I’m going to tell you what I know is wrong with liberals like him!”
“Yay!”
“The thing is, where do I start?”
“Hah-hah!”
“Oh, they’re nice enough, I guess. Some of them.”
“Hah-hah!”
“And I hear they’re tons of fun at parties. Give ‘em a few glasses of white wine, and some slices of fancy cheese, and before long they’ll be dancin’ on the tables!”
“Hah-hah!”
“The problem is, they figure everybody else is nice, too.”
“Right!”
“They figure that the hoodlums and thieves who cross our borders illegally to steal our jobs and flood our country with drugs are basically kind-hearted, peace-loving people!”
“Hah-hah!”
“They figure that all the bomb-makers and terrorists who want to blow us up are nice, too.”
“Hah-hah!”
“They figure that all the bigots, hate-mongers, and fanatics who despise our values and our way of life are really . . . when you get right down to it . . . just misunderstood!”
“Hah-hah!”
“In fact, they figure that all we have to do is prance over and extend a friendly hand, and then. . . by golly . . . all of those criminals and terrorists will turn into good neighbors!”
“Hah-hah!”
“No, I’m serious! Liberals really believe that if we smile and tread lightly . . . “
“Hah-hah!”
“. . . then give away all our resources, financial and otherwise . . . if we just welcome everyone here with open arms and an open checkbook, that the whole world will join us for one giant hug and a couple of choruses of “Kumbaya!”
“Hah-hah!”
“Am I right?”
“RIGHT!”
“Sure, I am! Well, folks, you and I know better.”
“Yay!”
“You and I know that we have to remain vigilant against our enemies! We have to seal off those borders! We have to build up our defenses! We can’t kneel down in front of the invaders who want to destroy our way of life!”
“Yay!”
“We have to offer the rest of the world more than a feeble handshake, a weak grip, and a limp wrist!”
“Hah-hah! Yay!”
“You know, it wasn’t very long ago that the United States of America used to be respected. The United States of America used to be . . . yes, I’ll say it! The United States of America used to be feared!”
“Yay!”
“But what’s happened? Would you like to know?”
“Yeah!”
“Do you want to know?”
“Yeah!”
“Good, because I was going to tell you anyway!”
“Hah-hah!”
“We’ve surrendered so many of our core values that other countries laugh at us. They ignore us. They think we’re impotent. They’re convinced that we don’t have the pride or will to stand up for ourselves.”
“Yeah!”
“Oh, I know what the liberals say: everybody still wants to come here. Well, of course they do, but that doesn’t mean we should want them.”
“Yay!”
“The time has come, ladies and gentlemen . . . and I really believe this . . . the time has come to reassert American power: economically . . .”
“Yay!”
“ . . . militarily. . . ”
“Yay!”
“ . . . morally . . .”
“Yay!”
“. . . and perhaps most important . . . (and now I’m going to use a word liberals truly cannot bear to hear) . . . spiritually!”
“Yay! Hah-hah! Yay!”
“Ladies and gentlemen, it’s up to us! It’s up to us to remind the rest of the world of a phrase that lately we haven’t heard often enough: ‘God has truly blessed the United States of America.’”
“Yay!”
“And you know what? It’s true! God has blessed us! We’re not just another country! We are exceptional! We are singular! We are the greatest country with the greatest system of government in the history of the world! And we know it! Now let’s remind the rest of the world! And let’s also make sure that we continue to deserve such blessing!”
“Yay!”
“And where do we start? I’ll tell you, ladies and gentlemen: we start here right here! Right in this room! Tonight!”
“Yay!”
“Are you with me?”
“Yes!”
“I can’t hear you. Are you with me?”
“YES!”
“Good! So let’s get the government off our backs. Let’s stop the job-killing government bills and programs that destroy our economy and our spirits.”
“Yay!”
“Let’s make sure the unions don’t blackmail our industries into bankruptcy!”
“Yay!”
“Let’s make sure we’re allowed to keep the money we make!”
“Yay!”
“Let’s tell all those so-called scientists what they can do with their crackpot theories about global warming and climate change!”
“Yay!”
“Because they’ll do anything they can to get their hands on our money, right?”
“YAY!”
“Finally, let’s keep the do-gooders and the nanny state far away from our kitchens and our bedrooms and our living rooms . . .”
“Yay!’
“ . . . and our offices and our classrooms and our churches . . .”
“Yay!”
“And most of all . . . away from our wallets and pocketbooks!”
“Yay!”
“Let’s work to preserve life and save marriage . . .”
“YAY!”
“To make sure our children learn what we want them to learn!”
“YAY!”
“About how great America was, how great it is, and how great it can be again!”
“YAY!”
“That’s why I have just two words for those liberals who think they have a right to tell the rest of us how to live. Just two words that they should remember. And what are those two words?”
“Hdssff. . .”
“What are they?”
“Hands off!”
“That’s right. Hands off!”
“Yay!”
“C’mon, say it with me! Hands off!”
“Hands off!”
“Louder!”
“HANDS OFF!”
“Once more!”
“HANDS OFF!!!
“That’s the spirit! That’s the real American Spirit! And now it’s off to victory! Thank you!”
¶ ¶ ¶
“I was embarrassed for her.”
“Those were the words of Senator Vance Harrington, when he was asked by our Cindy Howell about the much-discussed speech by Representative Cassie McClellan before the Conservative Colloquium this past week.”
“I mean, this woman is bright. She’s educated. But there’s no doubt that she debased herself by appealing to the lowest elements of her party.”
“And what might those be, Senator?”
“The purveyors of hate and fear: the twin pillars of the contemporary conservative movement.”
“Do you really feel she offers nothing else?”
“That’s all I heard. And that’s why her performance was sad. Even sadder, though, was how enthusiastically she was embraced by a crowd that listened to her rip immigrants and workers, as well as the governmental support system we cherish, then become even more hateful and fearful than she was. Hard to imagine, but there you have it.”
“The word is, sir, that she may run for your Senate seat.”
“I gather as much. Well, if I ever considered retiring, the thought of Cassie McClellan sitting amid the greatest deliberative body in the world is enough to make me try for one more term. This country simply deserves better.”
