Читать книгу A Satire Anthology - Wells Carolyn - Страница 22

“WHY didst thou choose that cursed sin,

Hypocrisy, to set up in?”

“Because it is the thriving’st calling,

The only saints’ bell that rings all in;

In which all churches are concern’d,

And is the easiest to be learn’d.”

Quoth he, “I am resolv’d to be

Thy scholar in this mystery;

And therefore first desire to know

Some principles on which you go.

What makes a knave a child of God,

And one of us?” “A livelihood.”

“What renders beating out of brains,

And murder, godliness?” “Great gains.”

“What’s tender conscience?” “’Tis a botch

That will not bear the gentlest touch;

But, breaking out, despatches more

Than th’ epidemical’st plague-sore.”

“What makes y’ encroach upon our trade,

And damn all others?” “To be paid.”

“What’s orthodox and true believing,

Against a conscience?” “A good living.”

“What makes rebelling against kings

A good old cause?” “Administ’rings.”

“What makes all doctrines plain and clear?”

“About two hundred pounds a year.”

“And that which was prov’d true before,

Prov’d false again?” “Two hundred more.”

“What makes the breaking of all oaths

A holy duty?” “Food and clothes.”

“What, laws and freedom, persecution?”

“Being out of power and contribution.”

“What makes a church a den of thieves?”

“A dean and chapter, and white sleeves.”

“And what would serve, if these were gone,

To make it orthodox?” “Our own.”

“What makes morality a crime,

The most notorious of the time;

Morality, which both the saints

And wicked, too, cry out against?”

“’Cause grace and virtue are within

Prohibited degrees of kin;

And therefore no true saint allows

They shall be suffered to espouse.”