Читать книгу Farm Boys and Girls - William A. McKeever - Страница 10

By observing critically for a few days the conduct of an infant child, one may notice two or three pronounced instincts at work producing helpful results in the little life.

1. There is the instinct to nurse, which is so fundamental in securing the food with which to sustain and build up the body.

2. There is the accessory instinct of crying, also often necessary as nature’s signal for another intake of the food supply. Associated with these two instincts are a number of reflexes which take care of the important organic processes, such as digestion, assimilation, and excretion. Now, we have practically all there is to the “character” of the human infant. He has, as yet, no instinct for fighting, for sexual love, or for business. And any effort to arouse and make use of the last-named dormant qualities would be futile as well as ridiculous. In respect to a vast majority of the things to be learned, the child is a mere bundle of potentialities, all of which must bide their time for an awakening. In short, wise parents soon learn that the center of life in the infant child is in the stomach, and that if he be fed rightly, kept much in the open air, clothed comfortably, and bathed frequently, the body-building processes will usually go on in a satisfactory manner.

3. Although the little life seems so tiny and the daily round of infantile activities so simple and monotonous, the character-developing processes are already making their subtle beginnings. For example, the first lessons in habit are being inculcated through the comparative rhythm in the infant’s life. It will be found both conducive to good health and helpful to character-development to attend to all the infant’s needs with strict regularity. Let us follow the new-born child around his little cycle and see what happens. First, he is given a hearty meal, which is followed at once by perhaps two hours of profound sleep. Then, there is a gradual waking, the body writhes and wiggles slightly, and then more, and then still more, until a loud cry is set up. Under healthy conditions the crying should go on for a very few minutes, as it helps to send the good blood through every part of the body, purifying and building up the parts and carrying out the effete matter. The function of excretion is not only thus much aided, but the nervous equilibrium is completely restored. The little life has now swung completely round to the beginning point of two hours previously and it is ready to start on another journey with the intake of another hearty meal.

It will be found that the life circle described above continues with slight variations for the first few weeks, the child sleeping probably twenty to twenty-two hours out of twenty-four, if it be in a natural state of health. But slowly the conduct of the infant will become more complex, and that in response to the growths and changes taking place within his body. It will be found that he can take a heartier meal, can stay awake longer, kick harder, wriggle more, and cry louder as the days multiply. In a month or so his eyes will be seen following some brilliant or attractive moving body, while the impulsive movements of the hands will begin to suggest some slight definition of their conduct. Not long thereafter, the baby smile will break out in a reflex fashion and the hands will likewise grasp objects placed in the little palms. Coördinate with these new activities, nature is at work storing up new nerve structures and cells, especially in the region of the spinal cord and the cranial centers.

4. The child is all the while learning. As yet, there is little for the caretaker to do other than to feed the infant with exceeding care and regularity, and to enjoy the awakening of the new infant activities. In four to six months, the young learner will lead a much more complex life,—sitting alone, holding things in his hands, and looking about the room. But it must be understood that he still hears and sees very few things in a definite way. Then, in the next two or three months he will first creep,—he should in time be induced to do so if possible for the sake of his health,—at length he will stand upright, and finally walk. None of these processes must be hastened, although they may be aided when the inner prompting and strength warrant such conduct.

5. During the second year there will probably break out with sudden and surprising strength the new instinct of anger. It has been latent there all the time, but the low degree of intelligence and of nerve structure has not given it proper support and indulgence. But on an occasion there is perhaps taken from the child some cherished plaything, when he suddenly flies into a rage, yelling, screaming, kicking, and growing red in the face. This outburst of rage is a most interesting and enjoyable aspect to the parent who rightly understands children, although some ignorantly make it a matter of deep concern, regarding it as significant of a vicious character in the coming boy and man.

The purpose of this present discussion is to illustrate how the human instincts come into their functions at various times during the life of the growing child. And the further purpose is to urge that such thing be watched for and met with just the sort of training necessary for permanent and helpful results.

Now, let the little child fly into a rage two or three times and have his anger appeased through indulgence in the thing he cries for, and he has acquired his first lesson in the management of the parent or nurse. He has learned that if he wants a thing, all he needs to do is to squall or yell and the desired results will be forthcoming. But this childish rage really furnishes the occasion for the beginning of some disciplinary lessons. “Should I give the child everything he cries for, or withhold the desired object until he quits?” asks an anxious parent. Neither rule is necessarily the right one, and yet both, on occasions, may be correct. Suppose, instead of the infant you have a five-year-old boy who cries for a loaded revolver he happens to see in your hand. Would you give it to him to stop his crying, or withhold it? Suppose again he should cry for the return of his own plaything which some one unjustly snatched from him. Would you return his plaything to stop his crying, or let him cry it out? Now, here is implied the correct answer in dealing with the outburst of anger in the infant. It is all a matter of justice and fairness. If some agency, human or otherwise, snatches his food from his mouth, and the child squalls for its return, indulge the infant at once. If he has been well fed, comfortably clad and bathed, and under every proper consideration should lie still and behave himself, then do not run and take him up because he happens to be trying your patience with his squalling. Hold him to it and let him bawl it out. There is really nothing better coming to him if you are thinking of the development of his character—and your own.

6. So, somewhat later on you will find this same instinct of anger showing itself in the various forms of fighting and quarreling. The parent who understands the true natures of healthy children will not worry for a moment because the children show natural dispositions for contention and combativeness. On the other hand, it will be understood that these very tendencies furnish the occasion of many a lesson in social ethics. How can the child ever learn to be just and fair to his mates or square and considerate in his dealings with adults unless it be through the give-and-take experiences that come from attempting to get more than his share,—and failing much of the time,—and from attempting to over-ride the rights and privileges of others, and having such attempts properly thwarted? Indeed, it may be regarded as a great misfortune to the child if he has to grow up as the only one in a home and is denied the daily companionship of those of his own age from whom he may learn justice and fairness as a result of his attempts to get more than is just and fair for himself.

7. The watchful parents will observe that perhaps some time during the second half year, and with some pronounced repetitions later, there will be clear manifestations of the instinct of fear on the part of the child. Again, there is nothing for deep concern other than to meet this instinct in a general way as has been observed for the others named and to give the proper training. Fear must have been a human necessity during many years of savagery and barbarism. It still has its positive and negative values in the development of character. It serves as a deterrent from dangerous and criminal acts. It is also found to deter the growing infant from doing many a thing which he ought to be learning to do. Fear shows its most interesting aspects in the form of what has been called social sensitiveness; that is, bashfulness, shyness, reticence, and the like.

Parents should by all means watch closely the various childish and youthful tendencies to fear, allowing those fears which promise to be helpful to remain in the life or to die out slowly through counteracting conduct; and eliminating those other forms which would seem to serve no useful purpose. Examples of the latter sort would be the fear of ferocious animals and of murderers. Such mortal enemies are so uncommon in this civilized land that fear of them will probably be of no service to life. On the other hand, it may stunt and deter the development of courage. Especially do such fears tend to induce the habit of unnecessary concern and deep worry, thus destroying the peace and happiness and cutting off the length of years of many members of our society.

8. There is no questioning the value of social sensitiveness in respect to the development of character in the young. Some degree of bashfulness and embarrassment in dealing with people, especially those regarded by him as of superior worth, may be considered an actual asset in the life of the growing boy. This bashfulness will give him a rich inner experience of doubts and fears, and of hopes and triumphs. Slowly, under proper guidance and direction, the sensitiveness wears away through repeated experience of a contrary sort, and such qualities as create a self-reliance take its place.

On the other hand, it is doubtless a misfortune, especially for the boy, to become blasé—indifferent and unembarrassed in the presence of people of all ranks and conditions—while he is yet a mere lad. Under our present organization of society, the boy who would win the life race must have much experience of trial and error, of failure and success, and of tribulation and triumph; and all that for the sake of a self-reliant character. Now, the boy who has lost all sense of embarrassment in the presence of others is likely to be denied the stirring inner experiences just named, and to settle down in an indifferent, self-satisfied attitude toward the big problems of human conduct. It may be counted, therefore, as an indication of much promise and advantage that the country youth and the country maiden continue to be comparatively “green” and bashful during the period of their adolescence.

9. The instinct of sexual love will manifest itself at the proper time and age. Before so doing, certain organic changes and inner nerve developments must take place. Parents may learn some lessons from observation of this instinct that will apply to practically all the others. For example, there should be no attempt to hurry the manifestation and the functioning of the instinct, nor should the training necessary for its development and refinement be denied or withheld. Of all the many inner awakenings that come to the developing human being, there is probably none that quite matches the surging energy of sexual love in healthy young manhood and womanhood. And to an extraordinary degree, opportunities for instruction and development of the character become present at this time.

First of all, parents need to be reminded of the naturalness and wholesomeness of the sex instincts in adolescent boys and girls. They must be urged to provide carefully for its natural growth through the proper commingling of the sexes in a social way, and yet there must be preserved in the young lives just enough strangeness and mystery about the sex matters as to indulge the poetic and the romantic aspects of the unfolding natures. It need not, therefore, be a matter of worry and unusual concern to parents if their fifteen-year-old son and a neighbor’s thirteen-year-old daughter show pronounced tendencies to be “crazy in love” with each other. However, this situation furnishes most fitting opportunities for teaching the boy courtly manners, gallantry, consideration for women of all ages; and that through and by means of his own personal experience. In fact, this stirring period of sex-love opens up in the mind of the boy reflections that tend to run out into every possible avenue of his future life.

Likewise, the girl. That same little girl who shortly ago hated boys and declared she would never have anything to do with them is now manifesting much interest in the youth of her acquaintance. This thing cannot be laughed to scorn, or scolded away, or whipped out of the life of either boy or girl. Its roots are in the sex organs as well as in the heart. This first love period furnishes the rarest opportunities for teaching the girl proper lessons in respect to her comeliness, her purity of thought, and the sweetness of her own personal character. If during this time she be withheld entirely from wholesome association with boys and young men, there is a probability that she may become a drone or a mope, and especially that she may lose valuable training in the acquisition of those winsome ways so helpful to young women in the matter of their obtaining suitable life companions.

Perhaps less need be said in respect to giving the growing son those forms of social training which make it possible for him to win to his side an attractive helpmate. But beyond the question of a doubt there can and should be much done by way of training the daughter in this respect. In addition to her good health, her moral self-reliance, and those other desirable qualities illustrated in a preceding paragraph, the young woman who is thoroughly prepared for meeting successfully the issues of life has had careful training in all the practices that refine and beautify her character.

This duty of rural parents to the growing daughter is no less imperative than in the case of city parents. It may be considered as an excellent way of planning for the future happiness and well-being, not merely for one, but doubtless for an entire family, if the growing girl be indulged and directed reasonably in social matters during this period of greatest strength of her natural sex instinct. This thing cannot be safely put off a few years with the thought that the family will move to town and then the girl may have her proper opportunities of training. After such procrastination and neglect, it becomes too late ever to correct the many faults of omission.

10. There develops somewhat late in the lives of young men and young women what might be called the “homing” instinct, which amounts to nothing other than a deep and pronounced prompting from within to set definitely about the matter of getting into a home of one’s own and providing for and building it up. This is different from the mere sex instinct named above, although perhaps an outgrowth of it. It must be noted in passing that this homing instinct, when at its strongest, furnishes the proper occasion for instruction in respect to the home and the home-building affairs. Happy indeed is the young man or the young woman who, after a period of such instruction, may have the opportunity of settling down in a suitable dwelling place and there beginning the establishment of the ideal family life.

11. Unquestionably there dawns in the life of normal young men—and perhaps to a milder degree in respect to young women—a pronounced instinct of a business and economic sort. This inner prompting is doubtless associated with the two last named. It may be observed by any person who knows how to study the lives of children and young people that some particular youth who a few months ago was a spendthrift, indifferent of his future needs and welfare, is now heard to declare emphatically again and again that he must get into business, must save and invest his means and provide for his future needs. So, there is not a little evidence in effect that we have here another inner development of the nerve mechanism. And the time is most fit and opportune for the parents to exhaust every reasonable effort to discover what the youth is best suited for as a life practice and to guide him on toward the realization of that purpose. Much more will be said in another chapter in respect to the choice of a vocation.

REFERENCES

Rural parents who develop an intensive interest in the child-training problems will find it most profitable to read somewhat extensively in the texts that are not too direct but that give a careful treatment of the fundamental principles of child psychology. King’s and O’Shea’s books listed below are of this special character. For a fuller list, see Chapter VI.

The Child: A Study in the Evolution of Man. A. F. Chamberlain. Chapter IV, “The Period of Childhood.” Scribner. A sound and somewhat scholarly treatment.

Boy Wanted. Nixon Waterman. Chapter I, “The Awakening”; Chapter II, “Am I a Genius?” Forbes & Co., Chicago.

Education of the Central Nervous System. Reuben P. Halleck. Chapter VII, “Special Sensory Training.” American Book Company.

The Moral Life. Arthur E. Davies. Chapter V, “Motive: The Beginnings of Morality.” Review Publishing Company, Baltimore.

Psychology. J. R. Angell. Chapter XVI, “The Important Human Instincts.” Holt.

Essentials of Psychology. W. B. Pillsbury. Chapter X, “Instinct.” Macmillan. Rural parents will find this entire text a non-technical and fundamental help.

Development and Education. M. V. O’Shea. Chapter XII, “The Critical Period.” Houghton, Mifflin Company.

Psychology of Child Development. Irving King. Chapter on “Instinct.” University of Chicago Press.

Your Boy: His Nature and Nurture. George A. Dickinson, M.D. Chapter II, “Elements of Character.” Hodder & Stoughton, New York.

An Introduction to Child Study. W. B. Drummond. Chapter XII, “The Instincts of Children” ; Chapter XIII, “Instincts and Habit.” Longmans. The book is worthy an entire reading.

A Study of Child Nature. Elizabeth Harrison. Chapter I, “The Instinct of Activity.” Chicago Kindergarten College.

Observing Childhood. A. S. Draper. Annals American Academy, March, 1909.

Are we spoiling our Boys who have the Best Chances in Life? Henry van Dyke. Scribner’s Magazine. October, 1909.

How to civilize the Young Savage. Dr. G. Stanley Hall. Mind and Body, June, 1911.