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But this chapter, as well as the entire book, is being prepared in the interest of boys and girls. So we shall attempt to show a number of specific conditions that may be sought as tending to conserve the strength and the life of the rural mother, with a view to her continuing to be in every best sense of the word a caretaker and conserver of the lives of her own children.

1. Surplus nerve energy.—However it may be achieved, the thing to work for in this connection is a surplusage of nerve energy. If the child training is to go on in a satisfactory manner, the mother especially, and if possible both parents, must have stated times and occasions for looking after such training and for inculcating a series of important fundamental lessons. The first and best test of this child-rearing situation may be made at evening. If, after the work of the ordinary day, the mother is still fresh enough to take a real interest in the children’s affairs, to read to them briefly and perhaps tell them a story or two, or to read for further preparations of her work with them,—then it may be said that her life energies are being conserved in a fairly satisfactory manner. The children will most certainly reap the benefits. But if the close of the ordinary day’s work finds the farm mother suffering from physical and nervous exhaustion, cross and impatient with the other members of the family, depressed in spirit and gloomy as to the future, these are signs which should give alarm to the head of the household and arouse him to the point of looking into such distressful conditions, and setting them right.

2. A rest period.—How would it do to plan for the mother a daily period of rest and relaxation? Would not such a program furnish something of a guarantee of length of life in her own case and of peace and contentment in the home, and of improved well-being in respect to the children? How shall we state this question? Must the very lives of the rural mother and her children be run through the mill of over-work as a grist for the improvement and up-building of the farm animals and the farm crops? Or should all of these material things be valued only in proportion as they contribute to the happiness and contentment and the long life of the members of the family? Too many farmers seem to say, as expressed by their conduct: “I must lift that mortgage this year! I must market so many bushels of corn and so many head of live stock! So here goes my wife, and here go my children into the hopper! Perhaps they will have to give up their lives. At any cost I must make this thing pay!”

Then, how would it be to set apart an hour or more each day, regularly, for the rest and relaxation of the mother, and call it “Mother’s hour”? During that time let it be the policy of the entire family to require no work, no assistance, no favors of her, unless it be in case of illness. During such a time of recuperation, the delicate organism of the ordinary woman would tend to regain its poise. The nerve energy would be more or less restored, while she would tend to view the better things of life more nearly from their right angle. Best of all, she would regather during the hour not a little strength to be used later in the caretaking of her children. Try it for a week.

3. The home conveniences.—This is not the place for a detailed discussion of what might or ought to be put into the house for the sake of the convenience of the home-maker. But if such materials be thoughtfully arranged, they may be made most effective, even though they be small and inexpensive. A little inquiry among the ordinary homes will show what is meant here, by either the presence or the lack of the things indicated. It is not so much a question of expense as it is one of thoughtful provision. The guiding principle of the home convenience is that of saving and conserving the strength of the housekeeper.

There is especially one day in the week which might be appropriately called the “mother-killing day.” That is the occasion of her doing the washing and ironing for the family. Not infrequently two or three days thereafter are required for the restoration of her normal strength and health. Now, it is clearly the specific duty of the farmer to take hold of just such matters as this and attempt seriously to put them right. Doing the washing for four or five, and that with the use of the wash tub, is a man’s work so far as required muscular energy is concerned, and very few women are able to do it regularly and live out their allotted lives. Therefore, let the conscientious farmer see to it first of all that some kind of machinery be installed for lightening such wife-killing tasks as that just named. Let him provide such household helps and conveniences first, and for the sake of the house mother and her children. And then, if there be other means available, let him provide the man-saving machinery about the barn and the fields. In the chapter on “Constructing a Country Dwelling,” fuller attention will be given to these matters.

4. The mother’s outings.—The farmer who is seriously interested in providing for the care and comfort of his family, and for the instruction and intelligent direction of his children, will see to it that his life companion be allowed her share of outings. This matter must be just as much on his mind as that of marketing the produce. The usual habit of the farmer’s wife is to give up willingly her rights and opportunities of this sort. But she cannot well continue to be spiritually strong and mentally well disposed toward the world unless she be permitted to get out among her friends and acquaintances at frequent intervals.

So, arrange carefully a series of outings for the country mother. The beginning of such a program is to provide that there be available for her use and at her command a horse and carriage. This equipment need not be of the finest quality, and it may be used for other purposes, but when her needs appear, it should be given up to her purposes. At least one afternoon a week she should go away from the place and be free as much as possible temporarily from the cares of the household while she finds congenial company among some of the neighboring women, or at the library or elsewhere.

5. The home help.—The unending problem of the home life throughout much of the civilized world is that of obtaining adequate assistance in the performance of the household work. Much of the time such assistance from outside sources is practically unavailable. And yet something must be done to meet the situation. If there be young girls growing up in the home, the solution of the problem may, and should, be met by means of requiring the daughters to assist with the home duties. But in case there be no daughters it is seriously recommended that either the father or the boys do certain parts of the heavier housework.

It is not necessarily beneath the dignity of the best and most brilliant man of this country for him to get down on his knees in his own home and help perform the menial work there which threatens to break the health of his life companion. If there be growing sons in the family, there is every justification for training them to assist in the housework in a case where such assistance is needed to shield the health and strength of the mother. It prepares for better manhood and for more sympathetic protection of his own wife to be, if the boy be required to do such things and thus to become intimately acquainted with what it means to perform the many burdensome tasks that tend to wear away the lives of so many good women.

6. The children shield the mother.—There will perhaps be no better occasion than this to remind parents of the necessity of carefully training the growing children to perform such deeds as will shield the mother in the home, and show a sympathetic interest in her welfare. These matters will not naturally be acquired by children. The country to-day is full of grown men whose mothers and wives have worked themselves to death; and yet these men did not detect the seriousness of the situation until it was too late. There are many men of this same general class who are willing and even anxious to protect the women of the home from the crush of over-work, but who know not how to do it. Such faults as we have just named might easily have been avoided had these men, during very early boyhood, been brought into an intimate acquaintance with the burdensome tasks of the household. Especially should they have been drilled time after time in the performance of deeds of love and sympathy in respect to their mother. It may seem a little thing for a younger child to rush to the table, call for and partake of the best the table provides and, inattentive to the wants of any other members of the family, hurry off to his play full fed and happy. And yet this very thing may be indicative of a serious lack of attention to the rights and requirements of others, such as may be carried over into his future home life and there amount to serious abuse. Again, it must be insisted that deeds of sympathy and altruism are acquired through the actual and continued practice of the performance of such deeds.

7. Planning for the children.—Among the other splendid results of the conservation of the nerve energy and the vital interests of the house mother may be mentioned that of her ability to plan thoughtfully for the instruction of the boys and girls. It is not an easy task to select appropriate stories and readings for the young. It is neither an easy nor a trifling matter for the parent to be able to read suitable stories to them and to interpret helpfully such stories. It is not a trifling matter for the parents to converse together an hour at evening and there plan as to the future home instruction of their young. When should this be introduced into the boy’s life and when that into the girl’s life? What is a fair allowance for the boy for what he does and for his spending money for the Fourth of July, Christmas, and the like? What is a fair allowance for the girl with which to purchase her clothes and for her pin money? When should each of them be told this and that about the secrets of life, and where may helpful literature thereon be obtained? Just when and how much should the boy and girl be allowed to go among the young people of the community? When we consider the far-reaching results which their solution may mean for the developing young lives, these and many other such questions become exceedingly important.

8. A common conspiracy.—In many a farm home to-day there is a secret compact which goes far to shape the destiny of a great number of lives. Go if you will to the farm home where the life of the mother is being gradually crushed out by the over-work and the lack of sympathetic protection on the part of the husband, and you will almost invariably find a secret understanding between the mother and the growing children in reference to the future careers of the latter. It is implied by these words put into the mouth of the mother: “Your father is too ambitious about the work and in his desire for accumulating wealth about the farm. He is over-working me, is thoughtless of me, and indifferent to your present needs and your future welfare. Work on as you must, driven by him, but do as little as you can and grow up to manhood and womanhood. Study your books, get through with your schooling, and in time find something easier for your own life work. Perhaps we can persuade him to give it up after a while and move to town, where you can go out more, dress better, and get more enjoyment out of life.” Thus, the children grow up to mistrust and dislike their father, and to despise the vocation in which he is engaged. Such a state of affairs will precipitate their flight from the home nest. This will take place at the earliest possible moment and will often be in the nature of a leap into the dark, anything to get away from the drudgery of the farm.

Mark you this situation well, you farm fathers, and attack it in all possible haste with the best available relief. A happy, contented, well-protected farm mother almost certainly means the same sort of farm children, while the converse situations will also run in the same unvarying parallel. Do not satiate your desire for more hogs and more land with the sacrifice of the peace and happiness and the very life-blood of your wife and children!

REFERENCES

The Nervous Life. G. E. Partridge, Ph.D. Sturgis-Walton Company, New York. This book is especially recommended as an aid to the relief of the tired farm mother.

Parenthood and Race Culture. Charles W. Saleeby, M.D. Chapter IX, “The Supremacy of Motherhood.” Moffat, Yard & Co., New York. This is a book of great value for students of race improvement.

From Kitchen to Garret. Virginia Van de Water. Chapter I, “A Heart-to-Heart Talk with the House Wife.” Sturgis-Walton Company. Wholesome advice concerning the conservation of the mother’s strength.

Proceedings of Child Conference for Research and Welfare, 1910. L. Pearl Boggs, Ph.D. Page 5, “Home Education.” G. E. Stechart & Co., New York.

The Efficient Life. Dr. L. H. Gulick. Chapter XVIII, “Growth in Rest.” This entire volume is highly recommended as being suitable for over-worked mothers.

What the Farmer can do to Lighten his Wife’s Work. T. Blake. Ladies’ Home Journal, Feb. 15, 1911.

The Higher Tide of Physical Conscience. Dr. L. H. Gulick. World’s Work, June, 1908.

Education for Motherhood. Charles W. Saleeby. Good Housekeeping, April, 1910.

The Profession of Motherhood. Dr. Lyman Abbott. Outlook, April 10, 1909.

Power Through Repose. Annie Payson Call. Chapter XII, “Training for Rest.” Little, Brown & Co.

Wallaces’ Farmer, Des Moines, Ia., is especially to be commended for its editorial championship of The Farm Mother.

The Freedom of Life. Annie Payson Call. Chapter IV, “Hurry, Worry, and Irritability.” Little, Brown & Co.

Ideas of a Plain Country Mother. Ladies’ Home Journal, May 1, 1911.

American Motherhood. Coopertown, New York Monthly, $1. This magazine publishes many short articles bearing on the subject of this chapter.

How to conduct Mothers’ Clubs. (Pamphlet No. 302, 8 cents.) American Motherhood. Coopertown, New York.