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This is a book about choices. Stress is not necessary; it can be eliminated. It is yours if you choose to experience it; equally, by the choices you make, you can avoid and eliminate stress from your experience.

You are only stressed if you think you are. You are only helpless if you think you are. You are only trapped in a situation from which you cannot escape if you think you are. By altering the way you think, your attitudes and your expectations you can choose to have a stress-free existence. In this book you will learn how to accomplish this. The changes you make in your life as a result will enable you to change the way you think and feel and will also bring about unexpected changes in the people and events around you.

There is no such entity as a stress, out there, waiting to get you. What stresses you depends on your response and says more about you than about the external factors that trigger your stress response. Learn about yourself. By developing a better understanding of yourself and your reactions, by being willing to take control of your life and your thoughts, by coming to terms with yourself and by giving yourself the respect, trust and love that you give to other people you can turn a stressful and worrying existence into days of peace and pleasure.

The aim of this book is to empower you to re-create your life. The future is yours: it can be similar to the present with its anxieties, fears and stresses, or it can be positive and peaceful.

Stress or peace, the choice is yours. This book will give you the tools and help you to make the choice and create the peace.

The following concepts and strategies are covered in Part I:

1 Stress is your own experience. It is personal to you and generated by you. It is not directly to do with things outside yourself; they are only the triggers to a response from within you, a response that is individual to you.

2 Feeling stressed is your choice and you can choose to continue or to stop. There is no such thing as a universal stress.

3 You can use the awareness of what stresses you to learn more about yourself and then use this knowledge for change (of yourself).

4 Be willing to change what you are doing – if what you have been doing has not been working, be willing to do something different.

5 You are responsible for, and have had some input into, all that happens, and has happened, in your life. Be willing to assume that you are in total control. Be willing to give up victim status.

6 Get clear on your outcome – what are you really trying to achieve? Are you trying to prove someone else wrong, to force someone else to be different, to have something to complain about, to get sympathy or attention? Do you really want to reduce your stress?

7 Know you can cope. Avoid the stress caused by fear of the unknown. Imagine the worst possible scenario. Find out how you would deal with it. Then get on with handling the present.

8 Believe in a positive future, that whatever happens is, and will be, for the best, but do this without ceasing to care and without developing a laissez-faire attitude.

9 Much stress is caused by your fear of other people’s opinions of you and your deeds. Decide who you are and who you want to be. Get a clear statement of purpose, develop your own Life Plan. Keep this plan clearly in your mind, live by it and many of your stresses will dissipate.

10 You are terrific. Most stress comes from your feelings of inadequacy. Develop full confidence in yourself, be willing to like, love and approve of yourself. If you don’t, who will?