Читать книгу How to Stand Out - Yeung Rob - Страница 9

So in this book I present you with proven techniques, exercises and advice. I’ll show you how psychologists, economists and other scientific sleuths worked out what works and what doesn’t. I’ll walk you through some of their studies and include detailed references at the end of the book if you wish to follow up further.

We’ll look at some of these principles and recommendations in action too. In my work as an organizational psychologist, I encounter countless fascinating and remarkable people. I work with business owners running multi-million-pound businesses, superstar salespeople and award-winning television producers. Women and men who have made a difference and who, well, stand out. And I’m grateful that many of them have imparted their stories in this very book.

Most of these people kindly allowed me to use their real names and talk about the businesses where they work. A few asked me to alter a few identifying details to preserve their anonymity. But all have shared their triumphs, their mistakes and the lessons they’ve learnt along the way. And by hearing their real-life stories, I hope you will be inspired to try out the techniques within this book too.

What exactly is covered in the book? Allow me to give you an overview by sharing with you a picture. When I’m running workshops, I frequently put up a slide that I call the “influence iceberg”. Often, we describe standout people as having charisma or influence. We say that they make an impact, that they possess charm or presence. And these form the tip of the iceberg, the visible part.

Beneath the surface, we can’t see the many, many pieces that make up standout individuals. But make no mistake: there are many parts indeed that can be analysed, understood and learnt – and it is these that we will be scrutinizing in this book.

I’ve structured the book into four main chapters and a conclusion. Here’s what’s in each and why.

Chapter 1: Boosting Self-belief and Debunking the Confidence Con

We’ll start in Chapter 1 on the topic of self-belief. It may sound obvious to say that in order for others to believe in you, you need to believe in yourself. You can’t stand out and impress the world unless you have a fairly decent opinion of yourself, right?

Not necessarily. It turns out that the truth is more complex than that. Many standout people actually don’t have bucket loads of confidence and I’ll tell you some of their surprising stories: a sales manager who hates selling, a business founder wracked by self-doubt, a public relations guru who fears public speaking. However, they all appear to be confident, accomplished individuals. They seem as if they are able to do great things; and that outward demeanour is often enough to carry them through to great things. So in Chapter 1 we will explore this seeming contradiction – what I call the confidence con – and delve into the secret psychology of becoming more confident.

Many standout people actually don’t have bucket loads of confidence.

But allow me to jump ahead for a moment to the good news: there are proven mental manoeuvres that we can all use to feel more confident – some of which take only seconds to put into practice. Yes, you read that right. Whether at work or play, there are things we can do ever so quickly that can help us to appear more professional, capable and persuasive to those around us.

Chapter 2: Persuading through Body Language and Nonverbal Communication

You can sometimes spot standout individuals even before they’ve opened their mouths to speak. There’s definitely something about their stance, the way they move, the way they lock eyes with people around them. So in Chapter 2, we will examine the psychology of nonverbal communication. Body language encompasses how we move our bodies and use our hands as well as our facial expressions. But nonverbal communication is body language plus everything about our voices – such as our pacing, loudness and pitch.

When it comes to making an impact, should we speak quickly or slowly? If our aim is to appear more charismatic, should we gesture with our hands more or less? Or is it the type of gestures that make the difference? These questions – and more – will be tackled in this chapter.

A lot has been written about body language which is frankly rubbish.

A lot has been written about body language which is frankly rubbish. So I’ll tell you about some of the most recent findings by scientists at the forefront of this field. And we’ll learn that even turning your hands palms up or palms down can have different effects on the people around you.

Chapter 3: Winning with Words

In our third chapter, we’ll continue our journey by looking at the words, phrases and other verbal tricks that standout people use to make themselves unforgettable and persuasive. What do superstar speakers – ranging from presidents and prime ministers to chief executives and even religious leaders – actually say?

We’ll examine how people use tools such as metaphor, visionary statements, autobiographical stories and moral arguments to craft more memorable missives. We’ll also take a long look at how speakers can deploy emotions – such as pride and shame, excitement and fear, for instance – to nudge people into action.

When should you use the word “I” rather than the word “we”? And when should you talk about “thinking” as opposed to “feeling”? These may seem tiny, trivial distinctions. But we’ll look at forensic studies demonstrating that even subtle changes of wording can sometimes make a real difference.

Even subtle changes of wording can sometimes make a real difference.

In this, the longest chapter in the book, we’ll explore both academic studies and real-world examples of how superstar orators, entrepreneurs, salespeople and captains of industry use verbal techniques to help their messages hit home. For example, we’ll see how a badly worded email cemented the downfall of one of the most successful companies of the 21st century. And we’ll discover how the cheesy saying “If you can believe, you can achieve” may just have merit after all.

Chapter 4: Augmenting Performance through Passion

When I first floated the idea of a book about standout individuals to friends, colleagues and clients, I heard occasional concerns: the book would be about the triumph of style over substance. It would simply teach people to promote themselves and suck up attention even if they didn’t have the underlying skills or capabilities to back anything up.

One of my clients wondered: “Doesn’t the notion of standing out play into the hands of self-promoters who talk a good game but never produce the goods?”

Most stellar individuals make their mark because they manage to deliver results.

But most stellar individuals make their mark because they manage to deliver results, because they’re actually good at their jobs. And Chapter 4 will focus squarely on how people stand out by doing sensational work and making things happen.

Here’s another way of putting it: the first three chapters will look at inspiring and moving others. But this fourth chapter will concentrate on how people inspire and move themselves, as studies tell us that people who enjoy what they do tend to perform better than those who don’t. So how can all of us find a place in the world that allows us to feel that little bit more enthusiastic about our working lives?

Conclusions: Onwards, Upwards and Over to You

By the time we near the end of our excursion, we will have scrutinized dozens of research studies conducted by the brightest minds on the planet; we will have delved into the lives of many fascinating individuals. You will be armed with enough tools and techniques to keep you busy for months.

But this book isn’t meant to be a dry, academic tome to be read and then set aside, never to be picked up again. I really hope this is a book you will use. That you will apply the principles and practices to overhaul how you use language and behave. That you will think more deeply about the audiences you will address. That you will interact with people in ways that will allow you to be influential and effective.

So in this final section of the book, we’ll look at how to take those techniques and recommendations and translate them into a plan of action. I won’t have done my job unless you decide to do something differently.

I really hope this is a book you will apply.

But I’m talking about the end of the book and we haven’t really begun yet. So let us start at the beginning by looking at the conundrum of confidence. Why does telling yourself to calm down not work? Why should you sit down to write an essay before your next job interview or a hot date? And how could understanding that your skull isn’t made of glass help you to appear more confident and persuasive?